Wounded Heart
Disclaimer : The characters are not mine, if they were you wouldn't be reading this right now. This is just a short little story - a moment of insanity on my part. It's SLASH, so if that isn't your cup of tea, please leave. Also, there's reference to the child of two males - please, this is a story, use your imaginations or something. If you can deal with that, then procede, and, enjoy . . .

Dear Severus,

Hi, love. I've been wanting to write those words for so long, you can't imagine . . . well, you probably can imagine it, actually . . . I've been trying to fill these pages with flowery words of profound truth - but I'm not much of a writer. Once, I did write a nice phrase, but it forced the threatening tears to fall, and the words were ruined. That sheet lies crumpled with the rest, forming a wall around the desk I now sit at.

Fuck, Sev. Why should I cover up this hell they've forced upon us with flowery words? Nothing I can say can ever, will ever, make this situation any better. Nothing. There are no deep and profound truths I can offer you - no new insights I have arrived at in all of my spare time. It's plain and simple, Severus - I love you. After all these years, days, minutes, seconds, that's all I have to offer.

God damn it, Sev. Tears are all they have left me with, that they have withered me down to. Let them fall here - it's been so long since I've been able to let them fall at all. Leave them as a token of my affections, a token of the love they did not believe we felt for each other. They have taken it all, Sev - everything. For, you were; no, you are, everything to me.

No, that isn't fair. I have our son. Everyday, he is a living reminder of what we share, the depth of our love. He has my hair and my eyes, but when I gaze into those pure green orbs - it is only you that I see. He has your attitude - your thirst for knowledge, you air of superiority. But, with all that has happened, let him have his bit of superiority. But, then again, perhaps it isn't even arrogance at all. That's the mistake I made with you - silence does not always mean arrogance, but simply a retrospective that I wish I had. "If I had stopped to listen once or twice; if I had closed my mouth and opened my eyes . . ." I still listen to the song, love. I always will - memories will never fade.

He really is a sweet boy, Sev - we did well. He is courteous and polite, but was hit doubly with the curiosity gene. How could we ever expect that he wouldn't be adventurous, with both of us as his parents? Gods, he just makes me cry sometimes, reminding me of you. It's little hand movements - the way he pushes his hair behind his ear; and the looks of worry he sends my way when he thinks that I'm not watching. I don't think he understands my tears. He's too young, too innocent; he hasn't been through all that we have. Every night, I pray that he won't have to live through what we did - but I know in my heart that such a wish is impossible. How could it be different? Nothing has changed - no one has learned from anything. Gods, I watch our story unfold before my eyes every day - suppressing someone new with this suffering and agony. I would not wish it on anyone, not even on them.

It is inevitable that he will someday feel my pain, someday understand all that has happened. Someday, his heart will break each night, over and over again, until the tears come. Someday, he will realize that the tears are not suffering, he will someday understand that they are what heal the wounds, what cleanses the pain. Someday he will feel such sweet release! All I can do is hope and pray that someday someone will learn from our mistakes, so that he won't have to come to the realizations that I have. Until then, all I can do is let the tears fall as I sit by the window, searching for your tall form, knowing that you're looking at the same sky; so far, yet so near to my heart.

Love,

Harry

Thanks for reading - I know some of it's kinda sappy, but oh well. Can anyone name the song that is quoted? I can't wait to read your reviews, and see if anyone can guess it. Well, please review, and I hope you enjoyed this little interlude. Thanks, Mara