A Monster in Wolves Clothing

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...

...January 1914, Munich...

Egassem sdrawkcab. egassem sdrawkcab. Egassem sdrawkcab! Egassem sdrawkcab! Egassem sdrawkcab!

Screams a young Adolf Hitler, he then watches as the ancient creature arises from the ether...

He still remembers several months ago; shortly after coming here to claim his fathers estate...when in the dead of night...he saw a man wrestling with a werewolf! He'd been paralyzed with fear at the sight! But the man chased the beast away!...but in his haste...the man dropped something...a curious book...adorned with a six-fingered hand...And a 2...

It was the same book he now used to summon this creature...who would hopefully settle his fears about the rising tension between the Allies and the Central powers. Obviously, Germany would come out on top regardless of the conflict!...Still...a second opinion from a superior being couldn't hurt...

…...

Hitler felt his heart sank as the Triangle demon showed him one vision of the future after another.

The assassination of Archduke Ferdinand...The failure of the Schlieffen Plan...The catastrophic Battle of the Marne...The Humiliating Treaty of Versailles...The suffering of the German people- His people!

Bill pats Hitler on the shoulder. "It's not too late pal! This can all be avoided! I can make Germany the Empire you so badly want it to be! I can make you it's hero!...and all I ask is that after the war...you help me with a little 'project' I've been working on...

Bill extends his hand to Adolf...which bursts into blue flames! "What do you say buddy? We got a deal?"

Hitler hesitated...his gaze entranced by the blue flame...but inevitably he shook it...and the deal was struck...

...October 1914, England...

First Lord of the Admirality Winston Churchill looked at the reports baffled...it had been one catastrophe after the next! Every attempt to sabotage, ambush, or delay the German advance had been predicted and thwarted with shocking ease! They hadn't even been able to destroy the rail lines! Every time they'd gotten anywhere near them, the explosives they brought prematurely blew up! Killing their men, but leaving the tracks intact!

And then came the 'Slaughter of the Marne'...The french had been all set for a big bloody fight...But a day before the Germans got there...A plague struck!

From what he'd been able to gather: Shortly after some survivors from the disastrous 'Slaughter of the Ardennes' showed up; they all started to become deathly ill. Half of the french army was dead by the time the Germans got there! Also...Winston frowns. Reports got muddled and inconsistent after that(it didn't help that the Krauts had timed their offensive to happen at night for whatever reason).

Evidently, the instant the Germans attacked...the French also found themselves attacked from all sides! Even from within their camp! More confusing was the claims that the attackers were wearing french uniforms! And seemed to refuse to die no matter how much you pumped lead into them! And apparently acted more like rabid beasts than actual humans.

Churchill looked down at the report of a man claiming to be attacked by a squademate who he swears he'd buried over a couple hours ago! Now ordinarily Churchill would simply have dismissed such a statement as battle-driven hysteria...except their were over fifty other reports just like it!

What the devil is happening here!? Thought Churchill frantically. The Allies were in dire straits! Paris had fallen! The French had surrendered! The British army was in tatters! It was no longer a question if Germany would win the war but when-

ZAP!

Churchill gaped at the sight of a man appearing before him in a flash of lightning. The man looked to him. "Mr. Churchill; not only do I know what your up against. But I believe I can help you." Said the man as he pulled out a strange book with his even stranger six-fingered hand...

...November 1914, Straight of Dover...

The Germans were giddy! They were drunk on power from their recent success in France! Not only had they conquered Paris in record time but they had suffered almost no casualties! And by the sound of it the Russian front was going great as well!

On the day before their great naval offensive against those damn Limey's(who hadn't even sent their fleet to counter them here, the cowards!). The crews on the various German U-boats couldn't help but celebrate their future victory. As well as raise a toast to their new Oberkommando der Wehrmacht(where did the Kaiser come up with these crazy names!? Honestly!), Adolf Hitler! May he lead them to Victory here as he did at the Marne's!

CRASH!

That was the last thing they did before a giant tentacle crashed right through the hull of their ship...

…...

Through the eyes of a possessed Hitler, Bill seethed at the sight of a Kraken ripping through the German fleet. This might be more difficult than I thought. Thinks Bill to himself as he orders the remaining U-boats to retreat...

…...

...March 1917, New York...

Once more; the people of the nation found their hearts and minds torn between the rivalry of Media Moguls William Randolph Hearst and Joseph Pulitzer.

Hearst's clear pro-non-intervention campaign was in full force. His paper spared no expense as it reminded the U.S. What a literal 'hell on Earth' Europe had become.

He reminded them of the 'Gluttony of Belgium'(where the entire population of Belgium was punished by being turned into cannibalistic ghouls...that then ate each other!...and then themselves!). How the battle of Tsingtao was basically a firefight between Japans new Kappa Army and the Germans Flying Eyeball squadron(a war that's still going on in the trenches 3 years latter!)! Of the numerous atrocities committed in Africa under Paul von Lettow-Vorbeck's army of Gremlins. Of the horror that was the Ottoman empire civil war! A fight between Grand Sharif Hussein's Giant Scorpion Demons and Caliph Mehmed 'V' Reshad's Djinni! Most importantly, he reminded them how such tales would have been laughed off as 'crazy talk' 4 years ago...but not anymore...The so-called 'great war' had forever mixed and muddled the concepts of what's real and what's fantasy.

To be fair, most of America agreed with Hearst. Who in their right mind would want to get in the middle of a conflict of demons and magic?...What could normal people do in such a conflict where (rumor had it) that even death itself wouldn't stop it?

That being said...America was going to have to side Pulitzer's 'You may not be interested in war, but war is interested in you' statement.

After Germany sunk numerous US merchant Ships(including the strange disappearance of the RMS Lusitania) and the revelation that was the Zimmermann Telegram...there didn't seem to be anyway to avoid war.

Hearst could stuff as much propaganda as he wanted in his 'Perils of Pauline' reels...But that didn't change the fact that-

BOOM!

The good citizens of the Big Apple found their thoughts interrupted as the no longer missing RMS Lusitania crashes down from the sky...and begins to release a strange smoke...within minutes most of the city is dead...within hours half the country is dead...but the real casualties don't occur until night...

...

...1920, US Bureau of Information...

Brigadier General Douglas MacArthur sighed as he looked over the reports...things were not well in the US...

Which really shouldn't be a surprise to anyone...Any country that thought they were okay after having half it's citizens die...only for them to rise again as flesh-eating zombies that very night...was an idiot.

Thankfully, it was quickly realized the zombies were only capable of life during the night(at sunrise they became lifeless husks once more). Taking advantage of this, the US military swiftly burned everywhere that had so much as one zombie!...Sadly this meant the complete destruction(among other things) of the Breadbasket states...which lead to mass-food shortages(Thankfully, the population wasn't too mad at them for that...the Zombies had been that scary!).

Germany was quick to accept responsibility for the whole thing. And America was quick to respond with a universal draft that was eagerly accepted by the American people...just in time for Mexican President José Venustiano Carranza Garza to form an alliance with Germany and declare war on the US!

For the last 3 years it's been nothing but non-stop stalemated trench warfare on the southern border! And the rest of the world was more or less the same way.

But as bad as things had gotten in the rest of the world...The Domestic situation in America was even worse!

For whatever reason; the plague mainly struck law-abiding, Caucasian, civilian men. Leaving the criminals, African American, and Woman portions of America relatively untouched.

With the part of the population that had been running the majority of the country decimated...America briefly fell into chaos...martial law and the countries united resolve to get back at Germany helped things...but the American government was forced to adjust many of their longstanding policies...

Especially when civil rights groups like the 'Militant National Woman's Party' and the 'Universal Negro Improvement Association and African Communities League' took advantage of the calamity to push forward their agendas.

The black codes became a thing of the past. Full voting and equality rights were given to all African American and Woman American's.

Many brilliant African American and woman were tacking advantage of the power gap left by the numerous dead or bankrupt Tycoons to make their mark on history. An African American named Alice Augusta Ball was already creating a great chemistry corporation; using her research into leprosy to figure out a possible cure for the zombie virus. And a young Amelia Earhart was trying to start up an Aeronautics company.

Numerous businessmen(after losing almost all their able-bodied employees to the plague or zombies) are finding themselves forced to hire woman or African Americans at the same pay and benefits as a white man lest they go bankrupt.

After so many white children are killed by the plague or eaten by zombies, school officials are forced to integrate the schools lest they lose their funding.

Recently, desperate for more people to throw on the front lines; congress allowed woman and African Americans to be included in the universal draft(there was even talk of lowering the legal age of an adult to 16, things were that bad!).

But while the (former)minorities of America celebrated...the rest of America rotted. Law-abiding Police, doctors, firemen, and other emergency services were hit the hardest by the plague...while criminals were completely unaffected.

MacArthur was amazed at all the times he found the civilians of a small town dead...but the prisoners locked inside their cells(or just the crooked cops) were perfectly fine!

In the chaos that followed the plague...an unspoken agreement was reached between the government and the almost perfectly intact criminal elements America. Basically...you police and protect our streets...we'll look the other way...

It was a golden age for organized crime! Prohibition was still a thing...but it wasn't worth the paper it was printed on! Speakeasy's were everywhere! They kept the people happy, and the economy stable. So no one was even trying to shut them down!

Emergency services were now filled with crooked men, criminals, private military men(like Pinkerton's), or labor unions(like teamsters)...You could count on them to keep the Krauts(and the few remaining pockets of surviving zombies) out and the peace...but not much else was going to be done.

Many unsavory people were also making their mark on history known. Like the kingpin/governor of Indianapolis John Dillinger. The new Mayor of New Orleans; Charles Arthur(Aka 'Pretty Boy Floyd'). Or Texas Governor Clyde and his oil Baron partner Bonnie. New York Police commissioner George Francis Barnes Jr.(Aka 'Machine Gun Kelly')...and so many more.

But MacArthur puts these thoughts from his head. He didn't have time to think about the past! He needed to worry about the present!

Specifically, the fate of a bunch of draft-dodgers! He looked over the reports...most of them were just your typical yokels...except one...Apparently this guys whole family and his wife was wiped out by the plague...leaving him to care for his 2 children...

MacArthur sighed. Contrary to what people might think, he wasn't heartless...He ordered the man to be immediately sent to the Mexican front lines...and that his men find the children's next living kin and drop them off there...

...

Stanley Pines gives the soldier a disbelieving look. "Let me see if I have this straight...You want me...a Speakeasy owner...Who lives in Gravity Falls; the official 'Capital of Corruption' in the US...to take care of my 12 year-old great niece and nephew?" He asks incredulously.

The soldier sighed. "Look man, I'm just following orders here." He says as he walks and drives off.

Stanley sighs. He turns to the two kids. One was a shy boy...the Girl...she wore an over the top flapper dress covered with fake pearls and beads...topped with a feathered, pearly headpiece...Oh, and she also had a pig.

Stanley sighs. "Alright...just...I don't know...stay out here...I need...I need to figure out what to do here"... He admitted. He then walks to the house- "Wait, did you say your running a speakeasy?" Asks Dipper curiously. But Stan was already inside.

Dipper shook his head. "Our Dad's been sent out to fight the Chupucabra Regiments of Mexico...and we've been sent to live with a gangster...Be honest do you think in a former life...we just did something horrible?"

Mabel chuckles. "Come on Dipper! Let's make the best of this! We can play cops and robbers for real now!" She says excitedly.

Dipper face-palms. "Mabel, Cops and Robbers Kill each other in real life!" "We'll aren't we 'Mr. Glass is half-empty!'" Says Mabel snarkily.

Dipper throws up his hands exasperated-

SQUEAL!

Which accidentally smacks Waddles in the eye, the panicked pig jumps out of Mabel's arms and runs away.

"Waddles! Come back!" Shouts Mabel as she and Dipper run after him...

…...

...I wanted to just eat the damn pig and have a real meal for once, but no! Dad gave in to her puppy eyes and we ended up with one more mouth to feed! Rambles an irritated Dipper to himself as he separately looks for Waddles in the mean streets of Gravity Falls-

"Gideon! Let go of me!" Dipper turns toward a dark alley and sees a blonde girl his age getting her dress ripped off by a silver-haired boy! "Don't be stingy! Your going to be my-

CRACK!

That was all Dipper needed to hear! He ran up grabbed the boy and struck him. He falls down like a sack of bricks. The boy glares at him. "You just made a big mistake boy!" Shouts the boy as he reaches into his shirt. "Do you have any idea who I am!?" He pulls out a medallion. "I'm going to- He stops talking...and turns deathly pale...the medallion was broken!

"Y-you broke my medallion! What have you done!? I hadn't fulfilled my-

squick

Those were the last words Gideon ever uttered...for his 'shadow' had skewered him with spikes...it then dragged him down into the black void...while it cackled maniacally.

Dipper gaped at what he'd just seen. "Well...that happened." He said unnerved. He turns to the girl. "Hey are you okay-

smeck

The girl kissed him! Full on the mouth! And it was full on french! Dippers mind shut down! What should he do!? What should he say!? This had never happened to him before!

And just as quickly as the most wonderful event in his life began...it ended. A flustered Dipper stared at her dumbly. "Uh...what...how...I'm"... Words failed him...

The girl giggles and hands him something. "Would you accept this cursed ring, please?" She asks politely. Dipper nods stupefied, and takes it...only for his brain to finally start working again and process what she'd just said.

"Wait, cursed ring?" He asks confused. The girl rubbed the back of her head awkwardly. "Yeah...Look, I appreciate you protecting my virtue...Especially killing my idiot 'fiance'." She spits that last word out in disgust.

"Buuuuut...you've pretty much brought down a huge shitstorm on yourself...and I really don't want to be anywhere near it...So your not going to tell anyone about my involvement in this...if you do the curse ring that you just 'willingly' accepted will cause your manhood to fall off."

"What!?" Screamed a horrified Dipper. It's then he notices the ring crawling out of his palm and entwining itself on his finger. Dipper desperately tries to pull it off to no avail.

Pacifica winces awkwardly. "Again, sorry...it's nothing personal...it's just either me or you...Anyway, don't bother cutting off your finger...it'll just appear on another finger...So the names Pacifica Northwest...That kid you killed was Gideon Gleeful...your really not going to want to brag about that...trust me...you'll beg for death by the end of it...Well, ciao!"

Dipper just watches as the girl runs off...Utterly baffled about what to think or feel about what just happened...

...

The next couple of days, the twins mainly stayed in their room while Stanley tried to find someone else who could take them...While Mabel busied herself by making more crazy outfits...Dipper busied himself by trying to get more information about his 'situation'...what he found out wasn't good.

The discrete inquiries he made to some of his uncles goons...painted a very nasty...if interesting picture.

Apparently, long before the Shack was a speakeasy...it belonged to his other great uncle Ford...No one knew all the details...but he hired Stan to run things here to make money so that Ford could continue his 'research'(whatever that meant) abroad. Their were currently three major Players in Gravity Falls. There was Stan and his speakeasy/ pawn shop; were you could trade, buy, sell anything 'exotic'. Then there was the Northwest Family. They supposedly founded the town...and have obscene amounts of money...No one know why...their never seen doing any work...so no one can say where all that money came from.

Finally, there was the Blind-Eye Society. A mysterious society that dabbles in mysticism and the occult. 'Offically', it was being lead by the sorcerer 'Blind Ivan'...but their was currently an unofficial power struggle going between him and their main financial backer...Buddy Gleeful.

Before the plague, Buddy was just a low level flunkie both in Ford Motor Company and in the Society. But after the plague wiped out Henry Ford and all of his inner circle; Buddy seized control of the majority of his empire and used his new-found wealth to buy his way into the Society's highest echelons...and had ambitions for more...

An unspoken 'peace offering' was brokered by the neutral elements of the Society; in the form of convincing Ivan to take Gideon on as an Apprentice. And this seemed to appease both men...and civil war was averted...Until Dipper killed him that was.

By the sound of it; the Society didn't know who killed Gideon...but they did know he was dead...this was causing tensions to rise again...

So, I'm barely here a week...and I may have pissed off two incredibly powerful people...possibly a third; if that whole 'fiance' thing was any indication...I wonder if I could convince a recruiter to send me to the front lines...at least then my death will be quick...

Thought Dipper darkly to himself...In fact he was in so much deep thought...that he almost missed an amazing revelation...

...

"There are magical creatures here in Gravity Falls?" Asks Dipper amazed. Hired goon/Chief engineer Soos Ramirez nodded.

"Yeah, we have all sorts here...Gnome, Minotaur, Ogre, Lizard-men, werewolf, vampire...They all come here to get drunk or take in the show"...

Dipper continues to listen in with interest as Soos continues to regale him with stories of all the crazy things he's seen in Gravity Falls...Up until Stan showed up...

…...

Stan explained that he couldn't find anyone else to look after them...so for the moment they were stuck there. Stan felt that if they were here, they might as well earn their keep by waiting tables at the Speakeasy. He also insisted they not leave the Shack unless escorted by him or one of his men. Dipper had misgivings about the first...but was fine with the second...for obvious reasons...

Mabel was excited about the first but annoyed with the second as she wanted to explore...Stan and Dipper were happy to quickly disabuse her of that notion...

…...

For a moment Mabel and Dipper just stood their amazed at what they were seeing...Minotaurs arm wrestling...Gnomes playing Russian Roulette with a rabid squirrel...Lizard men eating human skulls dipped in honey!...And witches making corpse hands dance for their amusement on the table...

For awhile Stan let them stand there and take it in...then he put trays in their hands and pushed them off to work...

While a terrified Mabel did the best she could to avoid all the strange, unnatural creatures...While a fascinated Dipper did all he could to be as close to them as possible!

During this, he also found himself close to the 'power players' of Gravity Falls. The Blind Eye Society was mostly spread out...but the two largest groups were gravitating around two people(who Dipper could only assume were Ivan and Buddy). While Ivan's following talked in dignified, secretive whispers. Buddy's group were laughing and joking...But despite their merrymaking...Dipper can't help but notice that people were avoiding the area that rested between the two groups like a plague...nor could he help noticing the dark calculative glares that either group occasionally sent the other...

The Northwest Family was a different story...Preston Northwest and his wife were drinking booze and merrymaking like no one's business! And then there was Pacifica...They briefly saw each other- But quickly looked away and pretended they hadn't seen the other...for obvious reasons...

Dipper still didn't know what to think of her...At first he was furious because of the curse...but as he learned about how much trouble he'd gotten himself into...he couldn't help but think he'd have done the same thing if the situation was reversed...Also, he'd be lying if the memory of the kiss wasn't also confusing him...

The biggest surprise was serving drinks to Hearst! Apparently, after the plague. It had been open season on politicians, businessmen, and civil servants who had supported non-intervention. Hundreds had been lynched or tarred and feathered by angry mobs(the government, strapped for cash. Allowed this so they could confiscate their assets). The revelation that his lieutenant Philip Francis was actually of German descent hadn't helped matters. Hearst, learning of his impending lynching from his sources; fled to Gravity Falls. Where he bought out Toby Determined's news business. The power players of Gravity Falls allowed him to do as he will...as long as he didn't make waves(like mentioning anything supernatural to the outside world)...and did the occasional odd job for them...

Suddenly, the lights dimmed and a spotlight revealed Stan on the stage. He glared at the audience. "Alright, this is what you've all been waiting for!...and even though I know I'm wasting my breath...My lawyers insist on this for legal reasons." He takes a deep breath. "Okay, you all signed the waiver coming in: you come up on the stage, you acknowledge your 'too dumb to live' and whatever happens after that is on your head...and your valuables immediately belong to the Shack(i.e. me)."

He shakes his head. "Anyway, without further ado...A women who needs no introduction...Wendy Corduroy Everybody!"

As Stan left during the applause, the stage was illuminated...and Dippers breath was taken away...

On the stage was a beautiful, teenage, African-American, red-head! Who wore the most provocative 'Egyptian revival attire'...and if that hadn't been a guarantee to give the young Pines boy his first 'stiffie'(which it did), then her even more provocative Quasi-Belly dancing style certainly was! And that wasn't even the most interesting part!...that came when she sang...

Beware, beware, be skeptical
Of their smiles, their smiles of plated gold
Deceit so natural
But a wolf in sheep's clothing is more than a warning
Bah-bah-black sheep, have you any soul?

"Me want Boobies!" Screamed a gnome as it leaped at her

BANG!

No sir, by the way, what the hell are morals?

Finished Wendy while blowing the smoke off the barrel of the revolver she'd just pulled from her cleavage to shoot the gnome dead-

Jack, be nimble, Jack, be quick
Jill's a little whore and her alibis are dirty tricks

Hearing that verse, Pacifica can't help but look toward Dipper curiously...

So could you
Tell me how you're sleeping easy
How you're only thinking of yourself
Show me how you justify
Telling all your lies like second nature
Listen, mark my words, one day
You will pay, you will pay
Karma's gonna come collect your debt

Aware, aware, you stalk your prey
With criminal mentality
You sink your teeth into the people you depend on

Stan looks over to a picture of his twin brother...and remembers better times...

Infecting everyone, you're quite the problem
Fee-fi-fo-fum, you better run and hide-

"BE MINE, WOMAN!" Shouts a lustful Minotaur as it jumps on stage and runs at her.

Without breaking her dance; Wendy activates a hidden blade in her toe-ring and slashes his jugular

I smell the blood of a petty little coward

She sings as she licks some blood off her finger for emphasis

Jack, be lethal, Jack, be slick
Jill will leave you lonely dying in a filthy ditch

Pacifica didn't know why...but she had the sudden urge to flip Wendy the bird...

So could you
Tell me how you're sleeping easy
How you're only thinking of yourself
Show me how you justify
Telling all your lies like second nature
Listen, mark my words, one day
You will pay, you will pay
Karma's gonna come collect your debt

A young, enamored, and covered in alcohol Robbie Valentino sneaks up behind her-

Only to be grabbed by her at the last second!

Maybe you'll change

Sings Wendy as she dramatically dances with him

Abandon all your wicked ways

She dips and spins him like a woman

Make amends and start anew again
Maybe you'll see
All the wrongs you did to me

She leans in to kiss him, and a bewildered Robbie leans in to do the same-

And start all over, start all over again

SMACK!

Robbie is sent flying!

Who am I kidding?
Now, let's not get overzealous here
You've always been a huge piece of shit!

Robbie groans where he landed, the front-most edge of the stage...

If I could kill you I would!
But it's frowned upon in all fifty states
Having said that-

She taps a hidden switch with her heel-

-burn in hell!

Robbie screams as the sparklers activate, slamming right into his face, igniting the alcohol stains. Setting him ablaze!

So tell me how you're sleeping easy
How you're only thinking of yourself
Show me how you justify
Telling all your lies like second nature
Listen, mark my words, one day
You will pay, you will pay

Hearst and Philip clinked glasses in remembrance of better times...

Karma's gonna come collect your debt!

Wendy bowed to thunderous applause...

Mabel and Dipper just stared... "All that murder seemed strangely choreographed." Lampshaded a horrified and deathly pale Mabel. "I think I'm in love." Says a surprised Dipper out loud...

Mabel just looks at him in horrified disbelief...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

Inspired by Tybay

The song is by 'Set it off'

AN: I know that the statement above belongs to Leon Trotsky and not Pulitzer, And Alice Augusta was supposed to have died a couple years back, and that Dillinger was a bit young at this time. Just roll with me!

AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.

But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?

Love me, flame me, review me