It was midnight when she saw him. The clock chimed its first ring as his eyes swept the room and found hers. He weaved through the crowd towards her as the couples between them kissed and whispered happy the New Year. His lips curved into a grin as he neared.

Finally, she thought. She was finally going to be with him.

"I've been looking for you," he said, holding out his hand.

In slow motion Brooke lifted her own. Her fingers outstretched in anticipation.

So close. She was so close to touching him.

Then another hand appeared between them. The rest of the girl's body appeared next, her long, blonde hair swiveling as she ran over.

Brooke's extended hand clenched into a fist. No. This wasn't happening again. Some girl was not going to ruin—

But it wasn't some girl. It was Peyton, her best friend. And he was Peyton's boyfriend, not hers.

Lucas pulled Peyton into him, reinforcing it all in Brooke's mind.

And yet…

The room was dark, the only light coming from mute images of Times Square flashing on Nathan's flat screen across the room.

But Brooke could still see Lucas' eyes. His hands were on Peyton, yes, but his eyes…

Brooke could have sworn they were still on her. What if—

The clock chimed twelve, interrupting Brooke's thought's.

She closed her eyes, blinked a few times, and disappeared into the crowd breathing shakily. Fantasy over.

"Don't go, not yet," Peyton said over the dull thump of music outside the bathroom door.

Brooke fluffed her hair in the mirror. "Why not? Everybody single found someone. Except Jake."

Brooke had bumped into him sneaking out just after midnight. The poor guy looked almost as heartbroken and frustrated as Brooke felt, but at least he managed to escape. It was so obvious to Brooke; one second Peyton was calling them both back, the next Jake was gone and Brooke was left standing in the doorway alone.

At least he got out while he still could, Brooke thought to herself.

"Yeah," Peyton said. "I thought I saw him with you. So…what about Jake?"

"Jake?"

"You could ask him to the Spring Fling next month."

Brooke thought it over for about two seconds. Falling for one of the boys who loved Peyton was more than enough. "I don't think so."

"Come on, he's cute."

Brooke shrugged. "If you like him, you ask him."

Peyton rolled her eyes. "Yeah, that would go over great with Lucas, my boyfriend." Peyton's eyes widened, realizing she shouldn't have brought up the subject as soon as the sentence left her mouth.

Brooke focused on keeping her face composed in the mirror. "I think Jake had the right idea," she said, ignoring the whole awkward situation.

She had gotten used to doing that. It was hard at first; she and Peyton had been such close friends there used to be no awkward moments. It was just something else Brooke missed about the way things had been up until two months ago when Lucas left her for Peyton.

"There's nothing left for us singles to do," Brooke continued. "I might as well go home and try to get some sleep for tomorrow."

"I don't get why they cut the extra day of winter break. Isn't New Years a national holiday or something?"

"That's Tree Hill High for you. Anyway," Brooke shrugged into her sleek black leather coat and fluffed her hair again. She didn't realize it last week when she'd started styling it with more of a wave, but standing in the mirror next to Peyton's, her own hair a more unnatural looking version in dark brown, it was so obvious.

Brooke's hands fell, hanging limply. So did her hair. It was just as well. A curling iron couldn't change her into someone she wasn't; she would never be Peyton, and Luke wouldn't love her again for trying to be.

"If you really want to go…" Peyton shrugged, and Brooke tried not to feel bad for leaving the party. Why does it matter? She wanted to say. You have Lucas. But as usual, she didn't say a word about it.

"I'll pick you up in the morning, okay?" Peyton asked.

"Okay." Brooke turned to leave.

"Hey!"

"Yeah?"

"Love you."

Peyton almost never said those two words, and when she did she meant them. Even after everything she did, Brooke knew Peyton really did love her.

"Love you too P. Sawyer." Brooke smiled and left quickly, leaving her best friend and the party behind her.

She hoped the walk home in the cold night air would clear her head but it only made her more aware of how alone she was.

Peyton was as close to family as she'd ever had.

And Lucas…

When they had been together, Brooke used to fantasize one day she and Luke would have their own family. She never mentioned it to anyone, except of course Peyton.

"You chasing after five screaming kids all day until Lucas comes home from the office?" Peyton had laughed. "Yeah, sure I can see it."

Brooke had to agree. What did she know about family? Her parents left town every chance they got. The last time even one of them had been home was…so long ago Brooke couldn't even remember. She wasn't mother material. She was a party girl, or at least she had been until Lucas showed her love was better than any party…until he left her for Peyton. For Brooke, going back to her old party lifestyle after that blow just wasn't an option.

The two people closest to her had been Peyton and Lucas, and technically they still were.

Sometimes Brooke wondered who she wanted to be closer to…and whether she was really willing to give up one for the other.

Though she'd gotten little sleep Brooke was resolved in the morning. Her defenses had been so weak last night; wouldn't happen again today. Or so she thought until Peyton pulled up in the Comet with Lucas in the passenger's seat.

It was a familiar picture.

In Brooke's mind it was that day two months ago when she went from the girl who had everything to the girl who had everything ripped away.

It might as well have been yesterday, the image was so vivid in her mind. Peyton and Lucas pulled up in the comet. It was the beginning of November, and she and Peyton were going to shop for their warmer coats for winter. Of course Lucas was coming because he always came with them.

But instead of calling Brooke over, they got out of the car, walked up her driveway, and stopped her heart from beating. Peyton took both Brooke's hands in her own as she told her. The exact words were a painful blur, but the ending was something that Brooke would never forget.

"We never meant to hurt you." Peyton had hugged Brooke tightly. "Please, don't hate me."

Brooke was in such disbelief she hugged Peyton back. Underneath that tough girl attitude Peyton was more sensitive and vulnerable than anyone knew. Anyone, except for Brooke. And now, Lucas.

So Brooke said she didn't hate her. Peyton kept talking but Brooke's attention was on Lucas. He stood silently behind Peyton, his face intense.

When it was over, Brooke stumbled back into her house and waited for them to leave before she lost it.

In the time since then she never let anyone see how much it hurt. Sometimes she had dreams of telling Peyton off, of screaming at Lucas that he broke her heart. But she never said a word in real life.

Now, two months later, Brooke only paused for a heartbeat before continuing down her driveway.

Lucas got out, holding the door open for her. He swept his arm as she slid in, saying "Goodmorning, Miss Davis."

"Morning Mr. Scott," she said in as normal a voice as she could.

He shut the door behind her and hopped into the back, sliding over behind Peyton.

Brooke wished he'd stayed behind her so she wouldn't have to see him every time she looked at Peyton. Even when she looked straight at the windshield she could still see him out of the corner of her eye. And if he'd sat behind her, she might have caught a whiff of his scent. It had been so long since she smelled his clean laundry smell.

The last time had been…the first time she saw him at school after he left her for Peyton. They were in the library, in an alcove behind a shelf where no one could see them. He had pulled her against his chest and hugged her wordlessly. "Are you sure?" She'd wanted to ask, but didn't. Of course he was sure. He had spent so much time alone with Peyton in the short time he was dating Brooke. He wanted Peyton, not her. She'd told herself that a million times. Told herself he'd only held her that day as a friend comforting a friend. Still…

Just thinking about it almost drove her crazy. Nice resolve. What did it last, five minutes this time? Brooke thought to herself.

She dug her nails into her palms, hidden beneath her bag, the rest of the ride to school.