Anyone who's life has changed pretty dramatically, then looked back at photos will know exactly how this feels. I looked back at old photos of myself, and people I used to know, and my family, and I couldnt even recognise myself half the time.
I needed to find a picture, that's it. So here I am, sitting with the box of old photos on my lap, almost in tears with the memories.
All the memories... Damn. How things used to be, it's all so sad really.
There were the messy ones where we'd stolen away a camera and took random ones of all of us. Kyle and Cartman arguing, Kyle and Stan's best friend moments, me dying.
Then there's the posed ones, either where one of our parents have collected us all up together and got us all to smile and look nice, or where we've posed specially for them.
And the party ones, of all our birthdays. Starting with Kyle's third and ending with Cartman's eleventh.
There's the ones of everyone else, Wendy and Butters mostly, with a some of Craig's gang and a few of Bebe.
School plays as well, badly taken ones that show the tops of other peoples heads as well, or are really zoomed out.
There's ones of all our relatives and holidays, randomly collected from selections of the Marshes, Broflofskis, Cartmans and McCormicks photo albums. Mostly ones I've stolen that I didnt think they needed.
There's Christmases, sleepovers, school parties, everything, in this box of photos.
We're all grown up now, I dont really see any of the others anymore. Stan stopped talking to us when we started high school, and Cartman slowly drifted away to find someone else.
I'm hardly in school anymore, no reason for me to be there. Kyle still hangs out with me at least once a week, though his mum isn't too fond of me and we mostly have to be at my house.
It's different, and I can't say I like how things are, but I have new friends and so do all the rest. Occationally I see Craig or one of the guys he used to hang around with back then. He came and called for
me twice or so, but I didn't really fit, so they don't come by anymore.
I'm not much liked round here anymore, I don't go out much and when I do most people ignore me, call my name in the most horrible way possible or beat me up.
It's weird, most the pictures of me are smiling, but I don't recognise myself, or remember the times. I'm like a completely different person then.
Its funny, theres pictures of me where I cant be more then eight or nine, and I look older then I do now, and this is at least five years on!
I find an album titled 'Kenny', I really dont want to open it, I don't want to see who I used to be. But I do anyway, I still havent found the photo I need.
Then smell like old, and some of them are! Theres about 10 pictures of me at a place I don't even remember ever being at, and birthday cakes I dont remember eat.
Relatives I dont remember meeting, and fish I dont remember catching. School plays I dont remember practicing, friends I dont remember making. Poses I dont remember doing, presents I dont remember opening.
Books I dont remember reading, clothes I dont remember wearing.
Theres hundreds of pictures of me and Kevin together. We dont even talk anymore, he's pretty popular, I'm not. Thats about it. I pick up one photo of us at the beach, sitting next to each other in a far too big deck chair, and go upstairs. I slide it into one of the photo frames on his desk, behind the other photo so it cant be seen.
Theres photos in here that make me smile, ones that make me want to cry, ones that make me think, and ones that make me frown and quickly hide them.
Jeez, its weird in some of these photos I cant tell if it's me or Kevin in the picture!
Theres a whole bunch of pictures I must've taken of my teddies, some I still have, some I've lost or thrown away.
I've taken a few photos out of there for what I need, and put them with the others I might use.
There's some not in an album, so there might be something in there. I was supposed to go to bed half an hour ago, but I'm far too involved in this now to drop it all and sleep.
Theres some of a preschool play I wasnt in, some recent ones that don't have me in, a few of Kevin dressed as a girl, weirdly enough and some really pretty ones of my mum, which are pretty hard to
find to be honest.
Looking down the side of the box that contains the items, I find another one I'm looking for and add that to my pile so far, and begin searching again.
Theres more un-albumed ones that I find to be ones of my parents holiday a while ago, so nothing there either...
There's an album titled 'Kevin' also, which I'm going to look at out of interest, even though there probably wont be anything I want in there.
Actually, theres more in here that makes me want to cry then there is in mine, probably because I grew up knowing this person, and I dont anymore. How strange.
Deciding that there isnt anything else I want in that box of albums, I sigh and reach for the lid, pressing it down and closing up the memories once again.
I honestly dont care if this is the worst story on this whole site, which I know it isnt, but still. I enjoyed writing it, and it got some stuff off my mind, and thats that.
I know I should've been updating one of my other things, but I dont care. You guys should know by now I'm hugely lazy, so dont hold your breath. If you do, you may die and never ever get to read any of my updates ever again, and I wouldnt like that.
Also, this is not going to be continued, no matter what. This is what is it is, and its going to stay that way.
-Misa
