"Class. Today we will be listening to Ms. Candy, our horrible drama teacher, about the horrible play that our school board has forced us to put on. I expect you to be on your best behavior or I will send you to the underground classroom."

Dib put down his pencil and looked up. Ms. Bitters pointed to a pretty young woman with long, pink hair, who smiled and waved. Hmm, Dib thought, this could be interesting.

The rest of the class buzzed with excitement and curiosity. However, all noise subsided when Ms. Candy cleared her throat and spoke in a strong, clear tone.

"Hello, class. Tomorrow we will be holding auditions for Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, a beautiful tragedy about two star-crossed lovers. Anyone interested can report to the drama room where we will begin deciding roles. Thank you." Ms. Candy turned and left the room, her fuchsia hair flying behind her.

"I once wanted to be an actress. But that was before television was invented and left the theatre world doomed to obscurity. I'm sure all of you worthless, talentless insects will do a horrible job." Ms. Bitters mused. "Now get back to work."

Dib considered auditioning for the play. After all, he was sure Zim wouldn't do justice as ANY role in the show. One more thing that he could torment him about… Yeah, Dib thought, I'll give it a try. Smiling, he turned back to his work.

Zim saw Dib's smug look from across the room. His antennae twitched underneath his wig as he thought of some of the things that Dib could possibly have dreamt up. Who is this "Shakespeare"? Could he have any secrets that the Dib-human could use to his advantage? He made a mental note to research this "Shakespeare" when he got home.

Zim entered through the pink MEN's door into the odd building he called home. In relief, Zim threw off his itchy disguise. Oh, how he hated wearing that thing. "GIR!" he screamed.

Gir flew into the living room and planted himself right at Zim's feet. "YES, my Master!" he chimed. The dysfunctional SIR unit was covered head to toe in bacon grease.

"Um….. Gir? What is that disgusting grease you're covered in?" Zim questioned, nervous for the answer.

"Piggy was hungry so I cooked him some bacon!" Gir exclaimed like there was nothing creepy about it.

"Ah. Um… I see." Zim cast a glance at Gir's friend. The miserable swine oinked in disapproval. "Gir! I'll be in the lab reading about the human's putrid entertainment sources. Don't disturb me." He headed towards the little trash can that led down into the depths of his base. "Computer. Take me to the lab."

"'Please' might be a little more kind…" the computer voice grumbled as it lowered Zim into the laboratory.

Zim sat in front of his enormous computer screen and read the script to Romeo and Juliet online. He shuddered at the thought of human "love". The scene where the two main characters were on the balcony revealing their love for one another was disgusting. Really? Is this how the humans express their love to each other? Weak little worms! And the whole part about the two families feuding that kept Romeo and Juliet apart, Zim did not quite understand. Why didn't Romeo just kill the offenders and run off with Juliet? Whoever this Shakespeare was, his characters certainly were not gifted in the sense of logic. However, he thought the many deaths were amusing… Even Zim could have done a better job. Especially Zim…

Zim was determined to make sure this story was told right.