Therapy Sessions

By: InuGhost2.0

Published 10/16/09

Disclaimer: If you actually think I own the rights to Bones then I'll gladly sell you the rights to it, along with the rights to another show for half price and I'll even throw in ownership of the Jeffersonian for free. Cash only and cash must be presented up front. No refunds.

Offer not valid in D.C.

A/N: For awhile now I've been trying to come up with a humor story that could involve Sweets as a main character. Mainly because I feel for the poor guy and because he's not tormented enough by us fans. This particular chapter came into being through lack of sleep, an entertaining class of Civil War history, and because I can totally see Bones making this kind of mistake. So before this gets any longer or more rambling I hope you enjoy this story and please let me know what you thought of this and if I should continue it. Thank you.

Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock on and on the clock droned relentlessly accurately tracking the passage of time. The sound was monotonous and unchanging much like the three occupants in the room.

FBI special agent Seeley Booth was fixated on the clock seemingly trying to will it to move faster and end his time in purgatory. Absentmindedly he tapped his fingers on the chair's arm unintentionally matching the rhythm of the ticking clock.

As always Forensic Anthropologist Dr. Temperance Brennan was seated beside the special agent. She stared fixedly ahead in a vain effort to avoid staring at her partner who she had long harbored unfulfilled desire for. Every so often her eyes would flick to her left, if only for an instant, to again admire the man's tempting physic.

Across from them sat the young FBI psychiatrist Lance Sweets. A notepad and pencil lay within easy reach in the unlikely event that either of his two patients felt like finally sharing something willingly. For the last ten minutes Sweets had been content to simply sit back and study the pair who had recently returned from a week long trip to a crime scene in Georgia. While Sweets wasn't as socially adept as some, he could feel the tension that hung in the air between the two. During his observations he had noticed a few minor injuries on the pair despite their attempts to hide them. The tension, the injuries coupled with how Dr. Brennan had arrived early for the session without Booth's company worried the young doctor. Had the almost legendary partnership come to an impasse that had resulted in violence? Clearing his throat Sweets' opened his mouth to speak but was beaten to the punch by Booth.

"Sweets before you even start I am telling you that I refuse to answer any questions about what happened in Georgia. I don't care what you do, but I am not saying one damn word."

"Actually agent Booth I was only going to ask Dr. Brennan what happened to her eye. That looks like a pretty good shiner you've got."

"Dr. Sweets I merely have a black eye. There is nothing pretty or good about their appearance or how they were received."

"I concede you that point but that doesn't answer my question of how you received it."

"Bones got it because she insisted on sticking her size eight foot into her size ten mouth." Booth grumbled taking his eyes off the clock to stare at the psychologist seated before him as he propped his head up with a hand.

A gasp of surprise and shock escaped Temperance as she gapped open mouthed at her partner. "Booth how can you say that!?! If you had merely warned me ahead of time then that entire debacle would not have occurred!"

Although Sweets said nothing his own surprise at Booth's utterance and Temperance's outburst caused his eyebrows to merge perfectly with his hairline. Opting to forgo his notepad in favor of finding out the entire story Sweets was inwardly glad that he had decided ahead of time to secretly record this entire session.

"I shouldn't have needed to say anything Bones. Most people have enough common sense to avoid those kinds of situations and know better than to say certain things in certain places. Instead you went ahead and started a barroom brawl!"

"Oh no I did not cause that brawl Booth. While I may have inadvertently set the events in motion that led up to it I'd say that you started it when you punched that guy."

'Agent Booth you punched someone? I may need to report that in the event the man presses charges." Sweets threw out. Now he was all the more interested in finding out what all had occurred.

"Hold it Sweets it was perfectly justified. I did it because he punched Bones so I was merely defending my partner. And unlike a certain someone I at least didn't shatter the bar's mirror by using a man for a projectile!" Booth unsubtly jerked his head in Brennan's direction while rolling his eyes.

"That technically wasn't my fault. I merely miscalculated how quickly he was headed towards me when I executed the throw. As a result he had more momentum than I had planned for which is why he ended up shattering the mirror. As for you defending me, I would think by now you would know I can handle myself. Though where were you when that guy you hit ripped out some of my hair?" Temperance angrily retorted.

Sweets was finding the argument between Booth and Brennan to be quite fascinating. He was enjoying their fight and some of his baser instincts wanted to cheer them on. He barely managed to catch himself before he started chanting 'Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!'

"The only reason I didn't help you out during that Bones was due to the fact you knocked me down when you sent that guy reeling after you broke his arm. Since a few people saw it as an opportunity to try and stomp me into a hospital bed."

Bones turned to Sweets with a look of concern on her face. Her worry seemingly justified by Sweets' pale face. "For the record I didn't break his arm. I simply sprained his wrist. I know the approximate force that I used."

"Whoa time out you two. As fascinating as it is hearing about this brawl you were involved in I'm certain I can read all about it in the police report." At this Dr. Brennan lowered her eyes not wanting to verbally confirm Sweets' suspicion. 'Well that certainly explains a few of things.' Out of the corner of his eye Sweets noticed that time had seemingly speed up and that his session with the federal agent and the forensic anthropologist was near done. Still desiring answers he decided to take the direct approach "I have to know. What was it Dr. Brennan said or did that caused the situation?"

Booth and Bones turned to look at each other for a few moments. From their years working together they could at times communicate nonverbally. Having reached an agreement they turned back to Sweets.

"We managed to get a break in the case earlier than we expected allowing us to close it earlier than was anticipated. Having a couple days free we decided to visit some of the nearby battlefields. I wanted to see where the battles occurred and Bones…"

"I find that my identification of skeletal remains is aided when I can see first hand where they were found. You may not know this but we have a fair number of skeletal remains dating back to the Civil War that have yet to be identified. It's especially difficult given…"

"I think that's enough Bones information about that Bones. Not everyone wants to hear all the details of your job. Anyway that evening we went out to celebrate our success." Here Booth began to hesitate uncertain of what to share.

Knowing how embarrassed Booth felt. Bones decided to pick up from where he left off. "After we had a few drinks we got into a discussion about the Civil War. Due to the alcohol and our differing opinions on some things, our discussion began to get a lot more heated and louder. For some reason, when I was explaining the importance of 'Sherman's March to the Sea' and why it was vital for the Unions victory over the Confederacy, the entire bar became quiet."

Understanding dawned in Sweets' eyes with an "Oh." Of understanding he gave Booth a sympathetic look. Sometimes Dr. Brennan's lack of social skills proved to be detrimental to ones health. Like the time she had caused a fight at the club she had gone to with Angela.

"For some reason they didn't want to accept the fact that Sherman's March proved critical to ending the war on account of how much he crippled the Confederacy's ability to maintain the war effort."

Booth pinched the bridge of his nose in an effort to delay the oncoming headache of restarting this argument with her. "Bones those people had ancestors who suffered or even perished because of Sherman. He is hated down there for the atrocities he committed. Who knows how many innocent people suffered because of his actions. "

"Well I don't see why they allow themselves to get so hung up on the past. While it is more recent than some ancient battles they need to be rational and move on. Booth during your service to the rangers you should know better than any of us here how there aren't any innocent civilians during times of war."

Sweets tuned out both agent Booth and Dr. Brennan as the two began to argue about innocent people and noncombatants during times of war. Picking up his notebook he began to scribble down some things that needed to be discussed during their next session. As he was lost in thought about what important information to include in his notes he was brought out of his thoughts by a low moan. Looking up in confusion Sweets was baffled at the sight before him. Blinking a few times and rubbing his eyes before looking again Sweets decided that he wasn't hallucinating. Dr. Brennan and agent Booth were in fact making out quite heavily before him and were seemingly oblivious to his presence. He was uncertain of what to do until agent Booth had pulled Dr. Brennan's shirt free from her pants and was beginning to unbutton it whilst kissing his way down her neck. His face heating up from embarrassment Sweets did the natural thing "Dr. Brennan, Agent Booth this is not the time or place for such actions!"

In an instant the two had sprung apart as if burned. Obviously back to their senses the two hastily bid Sweets goodbye before racing out of his office. The speed they had taken off at Sweets would not have been surprised if they had left a cloud of smoke in their exact shapes or made cookie cutter images of themselves in the office's walls. Shaking his head Sweets could only smirk as he made a final notation. 'Talk with Ms. Montenegro about Dr. Brennan's relationship with Booth. Possibly have her sit in or be in charge of the session next time.'

A/N: Well I'm sad to say that is all for the moment readers. My humblest apologies if anyone was offended by this in any way. So please let me know what you think of this and if it should continue. And remember reviews make authors happy, and happy authors are productive authors.