'Oww!' screamed the Cat as he shifted himself down the corridors of the mining ship. 'Oww!' he called again, longer this time. He could hold a note, he was the best singer on Red Dwarf, well, apart from Kryten who can access any singers voice from something they called a CD, which the Cat hadn't heard of. He preffered to access music the normal way, digital downloads went out of fashion in the year 2057 once 'hearing brain scan music' came about. Hearing brain scan music, or HBSM, meant that a humanoid could simply listen to a song, record it, play it into their ear, and memorize it. Don't get him wrong, the Cat loved classical music. It wasn't just the new stuff he loved. He was a very big fan of the classic 'Gangnam Style' mainly because the guy singing was just making funny noises, or at least, what the Cat thought was funny noises. He wasn't exactly the brightest kipper in the can, to say the least!
Dave Lister on the other hand wasn't much like that Cat. Actually to be perfectly honest he was the exact opposite. He liked his rock. Hard rock. And a bit of Justin Bieber, but he never told anyone that. Bieber, who was a large star at the start of the 21st centuary, lost his fame in the year 2020 after he became 'too old' he then later moved from his 'pop' to 'rock' but failed massively. But Dave loved some of his later rock works, especially his re-release of 'Boyfriend'.
'Cat, is there any chance of you not screaming whilst I'm trying to sleep?' Lister complained walking out of his, and the Cat's, sleeping quarters. 'I was fine with it for the first twenty-three years, but now it's getting boring.' He was dressed in pajamas, a one-peiced jumpsuit covered in curry stains and had a horrible mirky yellow colour to it which wasn't the colour it was when Lister bought it, though that was around three-million years ago. It was one of the numerous items in Lister's wardrobe that Kryten was not able to de-stain.
'I'm sorry bud, I can't help it! It's who I am, it's my identity. Take it or leave it!' Dave's feline-like friend replied in a sort-of 'sing-song' way.
'I'm leaving it.' Lister replied walking back through the door, it shutting downward behind him. He grabbed a bowl of the table and the spork beside it (for those that do not know, the spork is a marvellous invention, one of Listers favourites, that was a mix of a fork and a spoon) and climbed into the top bunk of his and the Cat's shared bed. Lister just loved a good ol' bowl of cold, leftover Rogan Josh. He'd started it before he'd gone to sleep, left it on the table and was leaving it for breakfast, but he was up now and hungry. Then BAM!
Next thing Dave knew he was on the floor, spork in hand and cold Rogan Josh for a hat. He wiped the curry from his eyes, removed the bowl from his head and tried to stand up. That's the point he noticed Kryten was standing above him.
'Mr Lister sir, you're finally awake! I was starting to become worried.' the cyborg said waving his arms in the air.
'How long was I out for?' Lister said eyes blinking through curry sauce.
'About one and a half hours sir.'
'Why didn't you wake me? And why didn't you take this bowl off my head?' the human said finally standing now. He walked over to the sink and mirror and started to wash the sauce out of his hair.
'Well, you looked so peaceful sir, and I thought you were trying a new fashion statement!' Lister turned around slowly to give Kryten a look that the cyborg knew only as the 'oh-you-are-a-smeg' look.
'Kryten,' Dave said slowly 'How long have you been standing there?'
'Oh, only about one hour and twenty-three minutes sir.' Kryten smiled and walked out of the room, with that ridiculous walk of his. 'Oh and sir,' he continued popping his head back into the room 'Mr Rimmer believes we are under attack from an un-identified ship.' why did he always say the serious things in such an innocent way? Lister grabbed his cap ad followed Kryten down to the control deck.
'You've got to be smegging kidding me.'
