Finally getting around to reading the books and they inspired me to write this.
"All right then, Mr. Murdoch, time to wake up," said a deep voice.
My Lord?
The fog was slowly lifting and through this haze he met startling green eyes. A tall, stout man was smiling down at him. Dr. Prescott he believed. What a kind young man. Murdoch smiled goofily back at him and felt something cold dribble down his chin. There was a woman's laugh from somewhere out of sight. He knew that laugh well.
"Julia," he slurred lethargically, as if he were drunk. Indeed he felt like he was floating on an absinthe induced cloud without a care in the world. It was delightful. He turned, or rather lolled his head towards her.
"Did you have a nice dream, William?" she enquired, dabbing at his face with one hand and clasping his hand with the other. Her touch seemed to be as soft as a litter of fluffy puppies. He brought her hand up to his face and rubbed his cheek a few times with it.
"Soft," he cooed. "Very soft."
Julia appeared to be very tickled about something and this knowledge made him unspeakably happy. Murdoch burst into maniacal laughter and Julia released some more giggles. After this unusual display of merriment had subsided, the deep voice spoke anew.
"You can take him home now, Mrs. Murdoch."
He lolled his head in the dentist's direction again.
"Who are you?" he asked seriously.
Prescott was eyeing him serenely. "Dr. Prescott, sir. You've just had a tooth pulled."
"Really?" he said in surprise, fingers trying to probe inside his mouth.
"Please don't do that, Mr. Murdoch. You need to leave the cotton where it is or you'll make a dreadful mess."
He obeyed like a scolded child would and fiddled with his hands in his lap.
"Why do I feel...odd?" he said tentatively.
"You've just been under the influence of nitrous oxide, otherwise known as laughing gas. The effects will wear off in an hour or two."
"Nitrous oxide? That's a chemical, no?"
The dentist nodded and Murdoch noticed he was nodding with him.
"Made out of carboxylhydroentropy?"
Prescott pursed his lips together. "Yes, sir, exactly."
Suddenly Murdoch had something very important to tell him.
"Doctor!" he exclaimed urgently, half falling out his chair. Julia put a restraining hand to his chest and pushed him back in.
"Yes, Mr. Murdoch? What is it?"
"I just wanted to say..." His attention was caught by a magical beam of light shining on the spittoon beside him. He reached out and tried to grab the multicoloured mystery and put it in his pocket so that he could examine it later. After a few unsuccessful attempts he noticed the doctor again. "Who are you?"
"Dr. Prescott. I've just removed one of your molars."
"Oh right! I just wanted to say...you're swell! I didn't feel a thing!" he said flopping his heavy arms around. "Not a thing!"
"How kind of you to say, sir," Prescott said with a smirk. "You were a swell patient as well."
Murdoch grinned at him stupidly and felt more saliva roll down his face. Julia cleaned it up. "Come along then, William."
"You're pretty," he said, bopping her on the nose.
Prescott helped her lift him to his feet and Murdoch took the opportunity to awkwardly hug the man, nearly knocking him over. Then after wobbling around for a bit, Julia managed to support his weight enough so that they could walk to the waiting carriage just outside. Thankfully there were no stairs to descend and they were on their way without incident.
Julia stared at her drugged husband who was watching the passing landscape with growing fascination and laughter. Periodically he would turn to her with a new found and often absurd assertion.
Julia! Did you see that?! That horse was as big as an elephant! That woman was wearing trousers! Those children have moustaches like the inspector!
"Yes, dear," was her reply to all of it.
She had been under the influence of laughing gas once before and knew how it warped one's perception of reality. As such she wasn't concerned about his silly outbursts though she was becoming increasingly annoyed with them, especially since he had the nasty habit of whacking her with one of his errant limbs every time he ejaculated. After three such whacks and a stinging thigh, she took his hand firmly and held it fast to the carriage seat. He didn't seem to notice and continued on with his stuporous effusions.
When they were back home and settled on the couch, he curled up to her like a cat would and put his head in her lap. She stroked the scruff of hair at the back of his neck and he sighed in pleasure.
"That's nice momma," he muttered, and as he spoke more saliva crept out onto her skirt.
Julia had purposely worn her least favourite outfit for just such an occurrence. As for the sight of him drooling, well, that did bother her a bit. Many of her patients often had to be sedated and that lose of bodily function was the unvarying outcome. It was somewhat unsettling to see her husband in the same way.
He was so quiet that she thought he had fallen asleep but then he murmured, "I love you."
Vaguely she wondered if he was talking to her or his dead mother.
"I love you too," she said, leaning over to kiss his forehead.
She jumped when he smacked the spot with his hand as if a wasp had landed there. "What was that?!" he said in a startled manner, rolling over to stare up at her, eyes wide.
"My lips, William, I just kissed you."
"Oh," he said, eyes half closed, smiling dopily. "I thought it was Gillies."
Despite herself she snorted. Then the telephone rang and with some difficulty she extracted herself from her clingy husband and went to answer it.
"Mrs. Murdoch speaking."
"Dr. Ogden, I'm ever so glad I was able to reach you." Jenny her assistant sounded alarmed and Julia's body tensed.
"What is it, Jenny, what's happened?"
"It's Michael, again, he's completely out of control. He's already injured Mr. Young and now he is frightening the other patients and tearing apart the place."
"Sedate him then."
"That's just it, doctor, the drugs don't seem to be working and now no one can get near enough to strap him down. Besides which, he's been asking for you most insistently. I'm afraid he won't stop his rampage until you calm him."
Just as Jenny said this, a primal scream could be heard in the background and Julia's breathing quickened.
"All right, Jenny, I'll be there straight away."
She hung up and looked to her husband. He was admiring his fingernails and chuckling quietly to himself. He would probably be fine on his own but she couldn't be sure of that. And after everything they had been through together, it would be exceedingly ironic if a simple tooth extraction brought about their utter ruin. Unfortunately their housekeeper was not in for the day. She was out of town visiting her ailing father. Unsurprisingly Julia had been very sympathetic to her plight.
Emily would not want to babysit him while performing autopsies.
With no other options she telephoned the station house. Henry answered and she asked for George.
"Something the matter, doctor? Were there...complications?"
"In a manner of speaking, George. I've been unexpectedly summoned to the asylum. Could you possibly come over here and keep an eye on him until I can return?"
A brief pause followed by a sigh. "I'm sorry, doctor, but the inspector's in one of his moods today and not likely to be very receptive to the idea. He's already laid into Perkins for being in the water closet for a few minutes."
"I see."
"But I'll ask anyway."
"Thank you, George."
Julia glanced over at her husband. His fingers were in his mouth again.
"William, stop that!" she hissed.
He held up his hand lazily and laughed. The tips of his fingers were bright red. "Julia, look, I'm bleeding! Isn't it wonderful?!"
Colourful male bellowing in the background this time. George made further apologies. Julia really didn't want to bring William along to the asylum even though he currently would fit right in with some of the older residents.
"Perhaps I could drop him off at the station house and you could watch him there?"
"I suppose," George returned nervously.
With that settled, she hung up and approached her husband who was still sticking his fingers in his mouth. She pulled his hand away. Attention now fully on her, he yanked her hard and she fell on top of him. "You're so beautiful," he said, eyes shining brightly, as if he were about to cry. "Your hair is like a halo. I don't deserve such an angel."
"William, we need to-"
He gave her a slobbery kiss and she endured it the best she could and then pushed off of him.
"William," she said, wiping her face, "I have to go to the asylum and I don't think it wise to leave you alone. George is going to look after you while I am gone."
William smiled sedately at that. "George is my best friend even though his aunts are prostitutes."
Julia shook her head and chuckled. It appeared it would be some time before he stopped talking nonsense.
