A/N: I got this idea from a dream I had, so. XD Here goes.

VERY AU. This is not a time travel story-for whatever AU-ish reason, Severus and Hermione are in the same time period of going to school. Medical things are modern-ish...I suppose if anything, it's a bit more like if Severus and everyone had been transported into the future or something. But still. I've played around with characters a ton, and put them all in the same messy, chaotic time period. Because I could.

For ease: Severus is in Ravenclaw, Hermione is in Ravenclaw, Lily is in Hufflepuff, Remus is in Ravenclaw, James and Peter are in Gryffindor, Sirius is in Slytherin.

Warning for: bullying, mainly.

Pairing: Severus/Hermione.

Severus knew something was unusual when he came down to breakfast that wintry December morning to discover the Sorting Hat placed on its customary stool at the front of the Great Hall. Professor McGonagall stood by it, looking decidedly uncomfortable. It was something new, a change, and if there was one thing Severus Snape didn't like, it was change. He glanced at his friend, Lily Evans, who already sat at the next table, playing with her yellow-and-black tie and talking animatedly to Alice Prewett across the table.

"Sev!" she said happily when she glanced up and caught sight of him. "You slept in," she giggled. He scowled, rocking back and forth on his heels a bit.

"Someone turned off my alarm," he said shortly, glaring round at his fellow Ravenclaws, all of whom studiously looked away. Particularly Remus Lupin, a very shabby-looking first year with the messiest hair Severus had ever seen on someone, bar Potter. He didn't like James at all. James was noisy and liked to flout the rules. For whatever reason (Severus still couldn't fathom why), Potter also despised Severus, going out of his way to torment the dark-haired Ravenclaw as much as humanly possible.

"Sorry," Lily said, not looking very sorry at all as she turned and surreptitiously high-fived Alice. Lily was always working with him to try to get him accustomed to changes in his routine, but Severus hated it. It was the one sticky point in their friendship, and it always had been.

"Excuse me," Professor McGonagall called, her voice ringing effortlessly through the hall. "Your attention, please. Thank you. This is a very unusual situation, but we have a transfer student."

"A what?" James Potter asked blankly, if rather too loudly, to the tune of muffled snickers around the hall. McGonagall glared fiercely at the room before answering.

"A transfer student, Mr. Potter, is a student who has transferred here from another school," she said dryly, making James's face turn bright red as he slunk down in his seat. "In this case, Ms. Hermione Granger will be joining us from Beauxbatons. I hope you will all extend a warm welcome and make her feel at home. Ms. Granger?"

A girl with very bushy brown hair stepped out from behind the professors' table. She was shorter than Severus had expected, and there was an oddly blank look on her face, although even from here, Severus could see the cogs turning behind her eyes.

"Ms. Granger, please place the Hat on your head," Professor McGonagall said. The girl did without speaking, sitting down on the stool with a graceless plop. It took an uncommon length of time-almost five minutes-before the Hat's brim opened and the Sorting Hat boomed: "RAVENCLAW."

"There you go, Ms. Granger, that table right there," McGonagall said, taking the Hat and giving the girl a small push in the right direction. As she walked toward Severus, he noticed that she was constantly tapping her fingers together.

"What's she doing that for?" Gilderoy Lockhart asked disdainfully. Remus nudged him with his elbow until he winced. "What? It was a simple question!" Gilderoy exclaimed, more than a bit haughty.

"Shut up, Lockhart," Severus said just as Hermione Granger reached the table and sat down, rather woodenly, next to Severus.

"Welcome to Ravenclaw House," Severus told the girl, feeling awkward as his leg jiggled against the bench. The bushy-haired girl nodded, but said nothing, her lips stretching into what might have been a smile, but looked a bit ghastly.

"Great, another mental one," Gilderoy muttered. "Ow!" he exclaimed louder when Remus jabbed him again.

"Shut it," Remus hissed. "It's nice to meet you, Granger," Remus offered in a conciliatory tone. Hermione nodded again, looking slightly frantic, and Severus watched with mild surprise as she rocked back and forth.

"Are you okay?" he asked, but got no response until Hermione finally jumped up from the table, looked about in the wildest fashion Severus had ever seen, and flung herself straight out the double doors into the entryway, to a chorus of surprised murmurs and gasps.

That...did not go as expected, Severus thought, and followed her.