(Edit: Thank you so much, Amelie, for letting me know that the formatting was all wrong. Idk what happened, but I wouldn't have had any idea if you didn't tell me!)

((Do you ever find yourself using vocab you don't normally use when trying to write fic you like. Like aight im trying to write kinkfic not a college essay thanx))


"There is a spider in your tree."

"Yes."

"In a web."

Talya."

"Why."

"Natalya. Get dressed."

Ukraine loved times like these. Every year, the siblings gathered in Russia's house to celebrate the New Year, and Russian Christmas. They participated in the parade, which was always fun! Natalya dressed as Snegurochka, Ivan dressed as Ded Moroz, and Ukraine...well, she helped.

And she loved it! They all did. It was wonderful to see so many happy faces, adult and child alike. For one evening, children weren't afraid to approach Ivan or Natalya, and although Natalya never said anything, her pleasure was written all over her face.

It was just...getting ready was always such a hassle. Every year, without fail, isomething/i would go wrong. Usually, the something involved Ivan, though Natalya had her fair share of problems, too. As if he knew what she was thinking, her unfortunate younger brother gave her a panicked holler from his room upstairs.

With a great sigh, Ukraine trekked upstairs, with Belarus close behind her. "Vanya? Vanya, what's wrong, can I come in?"

"I-it, I -, ahh -!" Well, she'd have to take that as her answer. She decided it was a 'yes'; he was her brother, she had seen him indecent before, and it looked like she wasn't getting a more in-depth response than that: anything he was going to say after that was cut off by a muffled huff - or was it a sob?

Oh, how she hoped he was decent.

Ukraine opened the door a crack, just enough to peek in, with Belarus crouching behind her to also get a view. When she let out a bark of laughter, Ukraine delivered a swift sisterly kick to her younger sister.

Her brother, stood by his bed with his costume's jacket on, but not shut, pulling the sides of it as close as they would go but inot touching/i -

Oh.

"It - I can't -! Why won't it close?!" Ivan, the poor dear, looked bewildered and confused and very much in need of a hug. Ukraine, never one to deny her brother simple pleasures, gave in to her instincts and wrapped herself around him in the warmest embrace she could manage, effectively ignoring Natalya's snorting in the background. As she rubbed his back with one hand and forced him to bury his face into her shoulder with the other, she felt exactly why it wouldn't fit.

Simply, her brother was fat. Russia had been doing well enough to provide his people with enough food, and had managed not to have a famine (man-made or otherwise) in quite some time. Ivan took advantage of this, and indulged (rather frequently) in pleasures he had been denied for so long. Of course, loneliness and alcohol didn't help.

Poor Vanya didn't know his limits, though, and often ate far too much at once which, of course, led to weight gain. Eating far too much far too often, as he tended to, led to gaining a good amount of weight in a relatively small amount of time, incidentally landing them in their current predicament.

"Okay, okay - here, give me your coat, I'll fix it, it'll be okay, Vanya, Vanya shhh -", and she was babbling now, but she was babbling so she would not cry: she felt the tears coming, but she needed a plan. "Go. Go eat lunch, I'll fix it, okay?"

A snort from Natalya reminded Ukraine of her presence. "As if he needs it, he resembles America's Christmas guy more than Ded Moroz now! Too bad we missed it, but there's always next year -"

"Belarus! Leave your brother alone. Go get changed."

As both siblings finally slunk from the room, Ukraine studied the coat and thought. She could not take it out anymore; there was simply nothing more to work with. It was as big as it could get without more material, which she had no more of. Time was an issue, too. The parade was tonight, so they'd have to leave in an hour or two to get there on time, and -!

She had already taken it out, six months prior, when she first noticed how Ivan began filling out. From previous experience, she knew it was best to get started on these things early. Adjusting his costume earlier would not only save her time, but also the breakdown that inevitability came with clothes that ishould/i fit not fitting.

What she ihadn't/i counted on, back in July, was continued growth. See, normally when Russia gained weight, something would come up that required him to lose it all, directly or indirectly. Somehow nothing like that came up this time, and he continued growing, unaware and closing his pants with rubber bands and safety pins as if nothing was amiss.

After an hour of fiddling with the coat and doing what she could to make it fit without more fabric (the answer, she found, lied in elastic bands across the front, crisscrossing in a decoratively functional way, without actually needing for the coat to close). Rather proud of herself for figuring it out, she went downstairs to inform Russia that he could finish getting dressed now, and that he really should hurry up!

The sight that greeted her was not her brother sleeping, reading, or drinking. He was not watching TV, or knitting, or doing anything she knew how to handle, anything her brother normally did.

The sight before her was so much worse, so far outside the realm of ordinary she questioned if she hadn't accidentally fallen asleep while fixing the coat.

Her sister, mostly dressed in her tights, dress, shoes, and impeccable hair and makeup, sat next to her mostly undressed brother, rubbing his exposed stomach as she fed him pastry after pastry (which Ukraine had been saving for after dinner!). Natalya looked up as her sister came into the room.

"I've never seen him so happy," she said, smiling softly at Ukraine. "I don't know why, and he finished nearly everything before I came down, but look! He loves getting his stomach scratched; he's like a dog - come, feel! It's soft and hard and look at how cute he is!"

Ukraine agreed - her brother was very cute. But currently there were slightly more pressing matters, like, "We have to go. We're going to be late."

Natalya nodded and hurried to get her coat and headpiece. Ukraine walked further into the kitchen, towards her brother. He looked up at her and vaguely gestured towards himself (with his pants undone, shirt unbuttoned and undershirt pushed up to his chest, all to allow his stomach room), saying, with an embarrassed smile, "I - I don't think I can walk. My stomach hasn't settled yet. But - is that my coat? Did you fix it? Will it fit?"

Ukraine smiled and held up the coat. "Yes, it should." Though now, now she wasn't so sure. Luckily, she had continued planning and had a probably good-enough plot. She moved towards the counter, where her purse sat. "I'll just make you some tea to feel better, and then we can go, alright?" She rummaged through her bag for the sleeping pills she brought with her (of course she'd spend the night, maybe a few days, but sleeping in this big, old house was always such trouble), and pulled out - she took two, and he was, was significantly heavier, so, six? - seven pills, mashed them into the tea and put in enough honey to disguise the bitter taste of the pills.

Ukraine walked Ivan to the couch and made sure not to leave before he fell asleep, rubbing his stomach soothingly to speed up the process. (Belarus was right: Ivan iwas/i like a dog, and he adorable, and he felt nice.)

As soon as she heard a snore she ran upstairs to put on one of Vanya's t-shirts, which she stuffed a pillow under and secured with a belt, throw on the coat (which thankfully, in it's newly modified form, fit over her chest), and put on the wig, beard, and hat. She met Belarus in the hallway, who thankfully didn't ask questions and wordlessly handed her a set of handcuffs.

Ukraine didn't ask questions (such as, what Belarus was doing with handcuffs, how she knew her brother was knocked out on the couch, how she knew these would be ihelpful/i, and on, and on), just took the handcuffs and quickly cuffed one of his hands to the frame of the couch before leaving the house.


The parade was fun! It was always fun, of course, but actually ibeing/i in it -! Ukraine loved children, and she convinced them she was actually Ded Moroz! Maybe she should knock her brother out more often.

Luckily for everyone, Russia had managed to remain out of it and sleeping the entire time. He was just coming to when Katya and Natalya got back, which gave them time to take the handcuffs off, start dinner, and fetch their presents to exchange.

Once Ukraine and Natalya were out of their costumes and dinner was complete, they sat on the couch with their brother, who had a large blanket wrapped around him. "It's over?" He asked.

Ukraine hadn't planned much for what would come afterwards, but thought quickly and said, "Oh, yes, I'm sorry you missed it! You weren't feeling well, and fell asleep, and you looked so peaceful I couldn't wake you -!"

"Katya filled in for you, so it was okay," Natalya added, "She fit a few pillows under the coat to look more like you."

"Oh..," Ivan blushed and looked down at himself, "Yes, I guess she would..."

"So!" Ukraine said brightly, clapping her hands and smiling brightly as she sat up straight. "Should we eat first, or exchange gifts?"

Ivan looked lost, but Natalya sprung up and grabbed her gifts hidden behind the couch. "Gifts first!"

"But, I - mine are still upstairs." Ivan said.

"That's okay! You can give yours out later, Vanya! Natalya, do you want to start?" Ukraine asked as she reached for her own gifts.

Natalya smiled, a ireal/i smile, and handed a package to Ukraine, and a package with an envelope to Russia. Ukraine opened her's first, careful as always. Inside the poorly wrapped package was a bra.

"It's supposed to lift them to ease back pain, and make them look smaller!" Belarus beamed as Katya lifted it up to look at it better. Honestly, it'd be a miracle if it simply fit, but she'd take what she could get. A necklace with a pitchfork fell out of one of the cups, causing Katya to smile gratefully at Natalya as she put it on.

Ivan went next, and immediately frowned when he opened the envelope. Inside sat a folded form for a marriage license, and inside ithat/i was a gym membership. "Oh..."

"It's! It's a joke, see, that's old, from before I saw how happy it made you.." Belarus rambled on, failing to specify iwhich/i was the joke. Instead of listening much further, choosing to file these gifts into the part of his mind marked i"Do Not Think About"/i, Ivan opened the package, revealing a t-shirt. Natalya leaned over to look at it, saying, "Isn't it great?"

Indeed, it was great. On it, the shirt read, "Awesome and Beefy" in large capital letters. Ivan smiled warmly at his younger sister. "Yes, it is great. Do you want me to put it on?"

"Only if you want to!" Natalya said as she reached for her sister's gift to her. Opening it nowhere near as carefully as her siblings, she almost threw part of it away with the paper. Natalya beamed at her sister as she revealed a beautiful long sweater and her favorite poem embroidered on elegant fabric.

Ivan opened his second gift (a knitted blanket depicting one of Ukraine's best sunflower fields), and they headed towards the dining room.

"A good day?"Ukraine asked her siblings as they sat down to eat.

"A good day," they responded. And they ate.