Denial

Part One

Chapter One - Sirius, the Bastard

*****

I'm sure most people will agree that they want to be pregnant at fifteen, trapped inside a boarding school, going to practically every lesson with the bastard father, who had no idea what was inside you. Always been my favourite hobby at least. Ok, so I'd only knowledgably been doing it for half a day. That's what happens when you put off seeing the school nurse about the funny feelings in your stomach, and the lack periods and so on... So anyway, I'd just been landed with this baby in the middle of my OWLs, which I had no idea I had (the baby I mean - I knew all too well about the OWLs), who's father happened to be the biggest twat in the school (what a lucky baby), Sirius Black. I mean could you get more immature? No! Not even James was more immature! Stupid childish pranks, winding up teachers, not bothering with work. Good body wasted on a thick mind. It's a real shame he's so gorgeous. Perhaps then we would have had less stupidly obsessed girls about some thick-headed prat, who was stupidly over protective of his spikey hair.

What did he think he was doing going and getting me pregnant! Why didn't he use protection? And it certainly wasn't my idea to go out with him in the first place, I mean it's HIM who was the biggest womaniser in school. Prick. All dick, no brain. Bastard. What a bastard!

I mean, what was I meant to do with a baby for God's sake! I was fifteen! And he was hardly going to be a help was he? Sirius and responsability are words which would only fit into the same sentence if it was "Sirius has never even heard of resposibility." Idiot.

No-one knew. No-one was going to find out. Especially not Sirius. Ok, maybe Kira or Lily would know, eventually, and obviously the school nurse, but that was it. No-one else. Not Ellisa, not Mya, not any of the stupid boys or anyone else in my year, house, or the whole school. No teachers, no-one! If anyone found out it was Sirius's fault, not mine.

Bastard.

Now why did that word keep coming up?

Sirius was sitting down the table, chatting away quite happily to his dear friends, and current sock, Michelle, a fourth year Ranvenclaw. I called his girlfriends his socks because that's how often he changed them. Occasionally he would keep one for a while, but eventually it would start smelling really badly, and instead of washing it, and wearing it again, he'd throw it away. That's what he did with me. Michelle on the other hand kept coming back for another two-and-a-half days of Sirius Black. She was an idiot as well. A blonde one at that. Bimbo.

It was divination next. Always my favourite subject. Or not as the case may be. As Kira and I (Lily, the sane one, didn't take it) made our way to the tower, we were followed by my favourite person - Sirius Black! Oh, and of course, his little friends, Jocko James, Randy Remus, and Pathetic Peter. Why they took divination I had no idea, but they did, and that was what mattered.

"Oh, the joys of divination!" James said, too-cheerfully, from behind me.

"Indeed." Came a reply - Sirius, "I've always loved the mystery and excitment, the inevitable doom."

Did they ever shut up? No.

"Do they ever shut up?" I asked Kira

"Of course not, do you expect them to?" She replied.

"I may have to kill Sirius." I commented as he pointed out the 'lovely' weather.

"Someone fancies Sirius!" Kira teased, shaking her head and poking my nose.

I shrank away "Don't do that! It tickles. And there is no way in hell I fancy Sirius!" I said firmly. Kira just looked at me with her bright blue eyes. Then she said:

"How does it tickle?"

"Like this." I poked her nose. She continued to stare at me, and after a moment she shook her head.

"No, that doesn't tickle," She said as we reached the landing. Just then the silver ladder appeared before us, and I followed Kira as we climbed up.

We were studying Crystal balls again, practising for our OWLs. I could never make any sense out of them. In fact I could never make any sense out of anything related to divination. Apart from tarot cards. They were fun. A few minutes in, when the bordom was really settling, Peter finally saw. Surprisingly Peter's really good at divination. Well, compared to anyone else in the class. Anyway, he started talking quietly to Sirius. We were on the next table, so I could hear every word.

"I can see you, Sirius." Peter said.

"Well, obviously" He replied.

"No, in the crystal ball."

"How can you tell it's me?" Sirius asked, using it as a good distraction from having to concentrate himself.

"Spikey hair." Peter stated simply. "You're with a girl," I rolled my eyes. Typical. "And she doesn't even have perfect figure, she's quite fat,"

"What's wrong with me?" Sirius whispered, "Ok, stop looking into my personal life, and look into someone elses."

"No, this is fun!" Peter said, "Ok, now your putting your arms round her, and hugging her. She's looking up at you smiling..." A sharp poke in his side from Sirius made Peter lose his concentration. At least I could be sure it wasn't me. I would never hug of smile at Sirius!

*****

A/N: Please review! This is my first Sirius fic. I've been meaning to do one for ages. I need reviews to know it's worht writing though, please? Please? Please???

Ok, I'll shut up now. Apart from, if you'd care to review (no need to read) Save Tonight I'd be very grateful! It's my L/J. You'd need to read Black Lily if you wanted to read it, but don't review Black Lily. I want my Save Tonight reviews to beat Black Lily. Like a sad lonely competition with myself. Anyway, love ya!

- Mai