And the gender is…
Written by: Cartman's Girl!
Notes: Oh I am insane. So very insane. Enjoy! I know it's a short chapter, but
more to come.
--
150 years old. An age every Irken in the known universe dreads, yet looks
forward to. This is a big birth date. Sure, not as impressive as 200, better
then 100, but still important. Yep, for any Irken turning 150 years old was a
big thing. VERY big. You're probably wondering why it's so big eh? No they don't
explode into millions of slimy pieces, or suddenly split in two; one good one
bad. No no no, it's something much more important. You're now waiting for me to
stop rambling so you can find out what's so important, aren't you? Heh heh. I
love being a writer. Go on fools, keep reading! …oh wait, come back! Okay, I'll
tell you.
Having your body finally fulfil itself into it's proper sex is always a big
thing. Yep. Once an Irken turns 150 they know their sex for sure. Oh of course,
they can make educated guesses! Who wouldn't? If your voice was high-pitched
and you had purple eyes you were automatically deemed female in society. Male
with deep red/fuchsia you might be considered male if lucky. Some just didn't
take on a phantom sexuality. Some were just 'hir' or 'sie' or 'it'. Whatever.
They don't matter, they're boring.
But both Tallest? Well, of course they were guys. It was obvious from the get
go they were boys. Their bickering, fighting, complaining, all pointed to
males. Though everyone questioned Purple about 'his' choice. They always ended
up flying through an air lock. So no one questioned the purple clad leader
anymore. Though now, both Tallest were watching the clocks in their personal quarters.
Their birth date time was approaching rapidly, a couple mere minutes to go
until their bodies would quickly painlessly morph into the desired sex. Purple
tapped his slender fingers together. Ooo please be male, please be male. Red
was doing the exact same thing, antennae twitching. Now, Irken's reproductive
organs, just to be fair and be easier to write then bizarre organs (hey I'm
lazy, what can I say?) are similar to those of humans. Sure, the female's parts
were able to open up more and resembled a fleshy flower then what it really
was; and the males were allocated a segmented member able to unravel and
probably wrap itself around the guy's arm if it wanted; but they were similar
none the same.
Bet yer droolin' for Tallest sex now eh? Heh, too bad! It won't come! NEVER!
NEVER! ..well you could find a Tallest slash fic of course but eh.
The clocks ticked down, and that was it. In a blinking of a red or purple eye,
it was done. Oh the silence coming from both quarters. Purple took a shallow
gulp, before reaching down to pull at his robe a bit to have a peek if he had
been given the fleshy flower or tentacle-like member.
~*~
"HAH!" Purple hovered out from his quarters, grinning from antennae to
antennae. Oh you could not believe the bliss he was radiating! You could fry a marshmallow
on the beams! He was male. Male male MALE! After all the jaunts and jeers about
being a female because of his high-pitched voice, it was now clear. He was male
and that's how he was going to remain for the rest of his thousand or so year
life. "Hah hah Red!" he pointed to the door opposite him, "You said I'd become
a girl! You owe me a planet of cheesy fries." He folded his arms, nodding.
"Yeah yeah whatever…" came the muttered reply as the door automatically slid
open. Red hung in the shadows for a moment before hovering out. Red was thus
met with a wide-eyed, slack jawed Purple. "Oh shut up." Red twitched an eye,
the sudden newly spurted lashes twitching along. Red… was female? Whoa, who
didn't see that one coming!
"You're… a girl?" Purple finally asked, after pulling his jaw back up off the
floor.
"Yes. But say any pathetic joke around me an I'll make you wish you never
morphed." Red snarled. Her threat fell on deaf antennae, Purple erupted into
laughter. Oh how he laughed. Tears streamed down his face. Red was a female! A
FEMALE! Everyone thought Red was a guy, but now, oh the tables were turned!
Purple would have continued laughing for a while longer if Red hadn't suddenly
smashed his face in with her arm guard.
[To be CONTINUED! Oh the drama]
