Disclaimer: No, don't own!

AN: I'm baack! Okay, so these are uncharted waters for me as I have never written an AO fic before. This is my attempt. I hope you guys like it!

Prologue: Loss


Sitting here, I think about the previous night and the events that led up to it. Why couldn't she have left well enough alone? That way she would still be alive and with me. I never wanted to lose her this way. I never wanted to lose her at all. I was going to ask her to marry me last night, but now I'll never get the chance.

I look at the front cover of The Ledger with the picture of the love of my life on the front cover. The headline jumps out at me over and over again. It makes me miss her so much. I take a deep breath when the captain walks out of his office.

"We got a trial date on the Richmond case yet?" he asks.

"It's postponed," I answer, not really into discussing anything. I just want to mourn my loss.

"We're going to lose that witness. She was shaky to begin with," he said sounding disappointed.

"Well, nothing we can do. You got SVU cases being handled by ADAs from other bureaus. They don't give a damn," Elliot told him.

No one gave a damn about our cases or tried them as hard as my Alex. This thought is the one that brought tears to my eyes. I miss her so much.

I was brought out of my haze when Cragen spoke up.

"Well, isn't that nice?" he asked holding up a piece of paper.

"What?" Munch asked as we all looked to the captain for an answer.

"Rafael Zapata Gaviria was found dead in a holding cell awaiting a hearing. No witnesses," Cragen answered. My heart drops. There goes any chance to getting justice for my love.

"There goes Valez's extradition," Fin comments.

"I long for the old days when the government would just send in the Delta Force assassination squad," Munch said. I rolled my eyes at him.

The captain turns to face us.

"DEA Agent Hammond wants to see you guys tonight," Cragen said as he handed me a piece of paper, "There's the address."

"What for?" Elliot asked as if reading my thoughts.

"Something about closing the case," Cragen responded as he headed back into his office.

I look to Elliot and he shrugs. He goes back to leaning in his chair and I go back to staring at the newspaper in front of me, missing my Alex even more.


Later that night, Elliot and I make our way to the set meeting place. We're both curious as to what Hammond would want with either of us.

We ride in silence as there is nothing we care to talk about. It's not like we need to talk to understand what the other is saying. I play with the ring in my jacket pocket, the one that I was going to propose with. I know Elliot is watching me out of the corner of his eye, but I don't care. I rub it as if it was magic and it would bring my love back to me.

It's not much longer until we pull up and the Marshals are already waiting for us. We get out of the car and walked towards them.

"Nice location," Elliot says, "Convenient."

I smirk as Hammond looks at him.

"Sorry. Only way to do this," he said annoyed.

My curiosity is peaked. What could be so important that we couldn't meet in public?

"Do what?" I asked.

"Wouldn't take no for an answer. Real pain in the ass this one," he replied and I shot a confused look to Elliot.

I watched as a Marshal opened to the back door to the SUV and out stepped my Alex. I felt my heart pound harder and my chest tighten. She was here. She was alive! I couldn't believe that she was alive!

"I am so sorry about all of this," she says. My breathing came out as quiet gasps.

"Your funeral's tomorrow," I croak out. My voice was so thick with emotion.

"And you're both expected to attend. For the time being, Ms. Cabot's better off dead. If Velez can get to Zapata, he can get to her," Hammond says.

I don't really listen. All I can think about doing is flinging my arms around my love and hold her tight. I don't want her to leave and judging by what Hammond said that it means that she would leave and I wouldn't see her for a long time.

"Witness Protection," Elliot says.

"Until Velez is extradited or otherwise dealt with," Alex tells us.

I'm still stuck on that she is alive and that I might never see her again. I swallow some of the emotion welling in my gut to ask the burning question in my throat.

"How long?" I ask. Alex opens her mouth and then closes it to shrug. She doesn't know. I sigh and sniff. I want a time line. I want to be able to know when I will see her again, if I'll see her again.

That's when another Marshal speaks up.

"We're on the move. Sorry, folks. Move them out," he says.

Alex gets back into the SUV and all I want to do is jump in with her. She looks back at me and Elliot one last time and I mouth 'I love you' to her as it may be the last time I could ever tell her. She smiles sadly as the door shuts and the SUV drives away with my heart.

I collapse from the overwhelming emotion. I feel the relief that she's alive, but that doesn't keep the overwhelming grief that I may never see her again at bay. I feel Elliot wrap his strong arms around me and he begins to rock.

"Let it out, Liv," he tells me. I bury my face into his shoulder and do just that. I let everything out. My pain, grief, and overwhelming longing all come pouring out onto his shirt.

"I-I'm go-gon-gonna mi-miss her s-so mu-much," I sob out, "I-I l-love h-her!"

"I know, Liv," he says, "She loves you, but you know she's gotta do this to be safe. At least she's alive."

I nod, but I can't shake the longing or the grief. I don't want to live anymore. I don't want to work and I don't want to breathe, not as long as Alex and I can't be together. I feel myself shutting down and I feel the haze drift over me. I want Alex and that is that.


AN: So there is the prologue. Leave a review, please and thank you!