Penance:
1: Mercy.
T: I'm on a bit of a fic idea roll at the moment and though I decided that my humour fic was probably better off on my own web page I'm quickly heading towards my target of 25 stories…waaa! I never thought I'd even get ten out without over heating my brain! Anyway randomness out of the way let's do the warnings shall we? It's again AU and being me there will be slash…though whether just hinted or actual I don't know at the moment…most likely spoilers for all of X and for TB 7 if you haven't yet read it! Oh and this will be DARKER than my want for fics…you have been warned! I am not a member of Clamp…this fact makes me sad so I will not dwell on it!
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The material of the Shifku itches and the fabric pulls tight against her front, flattening what little chest she has. Yet, today at least, she can not find the part of her that is usually concerned with such matters.
Today she has but one thing in mind.
Each step brings her closer to her goal, closer to the shadow of the tree that had once been her favourite place to be…now…
With each step she sees in her minds eye the pail, impassive, figure that her brother has become.
Sees the blank emptiness where once there had been such a well of emotion.
The man that waits for her beneath the sakura is the one who is to blame for this change and yet she can not bring herself to hate him.
Not when he, alone, holds the key to her brother's heart.
She looks to his blind eye as she draws closer, for in that pail expanse she can dissuade the doubts growing in heart and know that this man loves her brother…know that he will give anything to see him remain unharmed.
Even though her gaze never wonders from that blind eye she knows that he is smiling that cold assassin's smile, the smile that had first made her suspicious of him.
"You lied to me." She remarks, having no wish for formalities when the both of them know why she is here…know that only one of them shall leave here alive. "You promised me that you would not take Subaru away from me."
"Where did I take Subaru-kun?" The honorific sounds off on his tongue now, perhaps because for the moment he has lost the right to be so familiar with her brother or perhaps because she associates it still with the kindly veterinarian she had thought she knew.
"I can not kill you, but there is one spell that only I can perform."
"Is that so?" There is a danger to his voice now and she tenses, waiting for the blow she knows is to come.
His hands touch her face and he pulls her chin so that she is forced to look at him as he is now…forced to acknowledge that his heart and the hope it holds is buried deep within the apathy of his other nature.
"I know who you are, Sakurazukamori…kill me or I shall divulge your secret."
His smile eases in its intensity for a brief moment and he says,
"There is none for you to tell whom do not already know, Hokuto-chan and I think, for you, life shall be the greater punishment."
He leases her chin and in a flurry of sakura he is gone.
She is crying by the time she comes into the shadows within her brother's bedroom and yet this time she does not know what the tears are for…
Does not, for the moment, understand her own heart.
Her Obaachan has moved him so that he is lying in the bed and if it were not for his opened eyes she could almost believe him simply asleep.
She places a hand to his forehead and leaning close to him she tells him all that has occurred since she had left him…
Tells him most especially of the 'mercy' that Seishrio had shown her.
Perhaps it is her imagination but she could almost believe that he has registered the words… that he comprehends what they mean for the truth of the last thing Seishrio had told him.
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It has been a month since she saw Seishrio last and though she had looked hard for him he is no-where to be found.
She does not know why she expected anything else, why she hoped that once her brother had came just a little back to himself Seishrio would re-appear and they could settle again into the old ways.
But then maybe he waits vainly for her brother to become as he was before his revelation…maybe he waits, as herself, for the life to return to those inexplicitly open eyes.
Yet she began to see clearly that such a hope is vain, that though Subaru has found some purpose to get him moving again he shall not ever be the boy he was in that brief year.
She can still see the flustered joy that had been in his eyes the day that he had introduced her to Seishrio…
Such a familiarity had already been between then that she had believed that they had known one another for a while, rather than just having met and hour before as she had later been informed was the case.
She had seen, even then, the threat lingering in Seishrio's eyes and yet if he could learn to care for her brother…if he could learn to see how precious the happiness there in those glass green eyes was…
It was selfish, of course, for all she wished was for Subaru to care so passionately about something that he had begin to concern himself with his well being…would begin to actually live his life…
She has taken him for coffee today and he regards the liquid as though it is poison…
"Sensei asked again if you were coming back, Subaru."
He makes a non committal noise and his gaze moves to watch the bodies that pass by the window.
"Neesan, will you help me change?" He enquires after a moment.
"Change how, Subaru?"
"In every way I can."
"Why?"
He does not respond and she knows then that there can be only one reason why he wishes this.
Perhaps she shall again regret helping him back to himself and yet what is there left to risk?
"Yes…I will help you change."
He at last turns to drink his coffee and for a moment she can almost believe that there is a smile on his face.
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T: A slow start but already this fic is going somewhere other than I imagined and who knows it may end out being my best one yet…R+R to let me know where I'm going wrong!
