You were in college working part time waiting tables
Left a small town, never looked back
I was flight risk with a fear of falling
Wondering why we bother with love, if it never lasts
I say, "Can you believe it?"
As we're lying on a couch
The moment I can see it
Yes, yes, I can see it now
I once swore that I'd never fall in love, have a boyfriend and later on, a family of my own. But I think that'll never happen anymore. I have to marry him, for my family and Gale's family too.
Do you remember we were sitting there by the water?
You put your arm around me for the first time
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter
You are the best thing that's ever been mine
*flashback from Catching Fire, p.350*
…..After a while I rest my head against his shoulder. Feel his hand caress my hair.
…..."Your family needs you, Katniss," Peeta says. …Everything. That's what Peeta wants me to take from him.
I wait for him to mention the baby, to play the cameras, but he doesn't. and that's how I know that none of this is part of the Games. That he is telling me the truth about what he feels.
"No one really needs me," he says, and there's no self-pity in his voice. It's true his family doesn't need him. They will mourn him, as will a handful of friends. But they will get on. Even Haymitch, with the help of a lot of white liquor, will get on. I realize only one person will be damaged beyond repair if Peeta dies. Me.
"I do." I say. "I need you." He looks upset, takes a deep breath as if to begin a long argument, and that's no good at all, because he'll start going on about Prim and my mother and everything and I'll just get confused. So before he can talk, I stop his lips with a kiss.
I felt that thing again. The thing I only felt once before. In the cave last year, when I was trying to get Haymitch to send us food. I kissed Peeta about a thousand times during those Games and after. But there was only one kiss that made me feel something stir deep inside. Only one that made me want more. But my head wound started bleeding and he made me lie down.
*end of flashback*
Flash forward and we're taking on the world together
And there's a drawer of my things at your place
You learned my secrets and you figure out why I'm guarded
You say we'll never make my parent's mistakes
But we got bills to pay
We got nothing figured out
When it was hard to take
Yes, yes, this is what I thought about
Ever since Peeta and I grew back together, we always allotted time just for the two of us. We got to know each other a whole lot since the Games. We knew our secrets and stuff. Sometimes, I sleep at his house when I have really terrible nightmares. And he does that too, except he sleeps in my house. We even left some of our things at each of our rooms in case we have one of those bad nights.
I remember when I had a nightmare about Peeta burned to death in our first Games because of the wildfire. Peeta had to rock and hold me for a long time just for me to calm down and relax.
I tell him, "Don't leave me."
He tells me, "No, I would never leave you."
"Promise me you won't leave me like my father left us. I don't want to be like my mother who lost herself."
"I promise you that I won't leave you until forever ends," and with that, I felt assured and finally dozed off in his arms, the safest place for me in the world, even if we still don't know when forever starts.
Do you remember all the city lights on the water?
It's always hard to believe for the first time
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter
You are the best thing that's ever been mine
Well yeah, he made a rebel out of me. If we weren't playing that whole madly-in-love thing in our first Games, I'd never have the idea of both of us eating the nightlocks because "I can't live without him because I love him so much" and there wouldn't be any victor. But it turns out, it was an act of rebellion against the Capitol. So I started the rebellion, they got my loved ones and friends including Peeta, killed or hurt and because of me wanting to save him for real now, a lot of lives were lost.
I remember that fight, 2:30 AM
'Cause everything is slipping right out of our hands
I ran out crying and you followed me out into the street
Braced myself for the goodbye
'Cause it's all I've ever knew, oh
Then you took me by surprise
You said, "I'll never leave you alone."
Peeta is still jealous with Gale, up until now. I remember that night when we fought about it, because he never seemed to get over it. So I ran out, crying because I was hurt, but he followed me.
"Katniss! Wait up!" he yells, running for me.
I ran until he finally caught me in his arms. He tells me, "I'm so sorry about that, Katniss. I never meant all those things I said."
"Still, I thought you got over it because I'm with you already but you didn't! I thought we fixed this! Now you found out I saw him, you're gonna leave me? Just like what I've expected."
"I'm so sorry about that, really. I was just so stressed-out from a day's work. I was expecting you to ease my tiredness out but finding out that you spent your day with Gale just made it worse. But I really didn't mean all those things I said," he tells me gently, holding me in his arms. "I'll never leave you alone. You're all I have now."
You said, "I remember how we felt sitting by the water
And every time I look at you, it's like the first time
I fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter
She is the best thing that's ever been mine
"Katniss," he continues, looking at me even if I can't meet his eyes, "you're the best thing that's happened in my entire life. Without you, I'd probably be dead right now from the Games or just be an ordinary son of a baker who never really felt happy and will just take over our family's business. Every time I look at you, I still see the girl with the red dress and two braids on the first day of school when we were five, the girl I was with in the cave and on the beach, the girl I first fell in love with, and always will."
He dried my tears with his thumb and looked at me in the eyes. He tells me, "I'm sorry and I hope you'll forgive me."
Those blue eyes. The owner of those blue eyes. How could I ever resist? I know he doesn't lie to hurt. He lies to protect his loved ones. So I nod and he took me in his arms again.
"I forgive you, Peeta. I know you're not lying to me. I'm sorry, too. If I didn't just bring up the whole Gale thing again, then this wouldn't have happened," I tell him, not letting go of his embrace.
"I know, but it's getting cold. I think we should head home now."
I broke away and took his hand. He held mine as we walked home.
Hold on, make it last, hold on, never turn back
Hold on, do you believe it?
Hold on, you're gonna make it now
Hold on, and I can see it
Yeah, yeah, I can see it now
I suddenly went back to the present. I'm now holding my little girl, doing nothing but staring at her with Peeta beside me. Seeing her smile in her sleep, I felt a sudden wave of happiness in me. The thought of being a mother is still new to me, though.
"She looks like you, you know," Peeta tells me, stroking my hair.
"I think so, but she has your eyes," I tell him, smiling.
"I hope one day she'll understand."
"She will, Katniss, she's your daughter. We'll be okay, we have each other now," he said, kissing me on my forehead.
"Yeah," I sigh in relief, "we'll be okay."
We just sat there, staring at our little girl, feeling new to parenthood, but after all, the happiness we feel still takes over all our fears.
I never regretted on meeting Peeta Mellark. I never regretted forgiving him that night. I never regretted that I broke my promise to myself that I would never fall in love, have a boyfriend and later on, a family of my own, because all the risks we took and the problems we got through were worth it. I never regretted starting a life with my Boy with the Bread. And now, I know that this is just the start of the best days of my life, especially with Peeta by my side. Nothing can take away what we have, because we won't let anything do. This is what the word 'happiness' finally mean to me.
