My Cup of Poison
[Grimmjow] [Short Story]
If I could, I wish to turn the clock and rewind so I can keep this love fresh and warm.
For Grimmjow, tea was a nuisance. He had hated it even before he died and became a hollow. He hated it with such a passion and such intensity. The story behind his hate for tea went back far into the depths of time and life. He himself could not remember the real story as to why he hated the beverage so much.
So, when he found himself walking around the human world, he found a small teashop called Tea For Alice. At first, he simply scoffed at it and went to turn the other way. But then he saw a girl in the window serving tea to one of the customers. Her long blonde hair and green eyes caught his attention right away. It was then that he remembered why he hated tea so much.
It was all because of her.
Time has chilled it and turned it cold, making the taste bitter and bland. I wish I could make it warm again.
Katashi Tora stood in front of the mirror, making sure that his uniform was correct. The plain brown color of his armor contrasted greatly with his unnatural light blue hair. If it wasn't, there was a good chance that he would die. And he wasn't planning to die now out of all times.
In the air was the thick steam of herbal tea coming from the terrace outside. When he smelled it, he knew what was coming next. It was just a matter of timing.
In his head, he silently counted.
10. 9. 8.
He heard her sandals as she stood up. She was walking towards his room.
6. 5. 4.
After making sure that everything was ready and in place, he sat down on his knees, his hands on his knees as well. He waited patiently.
3.
2.
1.
"Ah, Hamasaki-sama, is Tora-sama going to battle today?"
Katashi stood tense and still. He was glaring through the paper walls at the shadow of a woman and a young man.
"Yes, Yasuo-kun. And I'm going to bring him his tea."
"I don't see why you try, Hamasaki-san. You know he isn't going to drink it."
He heard her soft smile. "If you stand here for too long talking to me, he's going to get angry."
"O-oh. Y-yes, Hamasaki-san. I'm sorry for keeping you." Hurriedly, the boy left the woman's side.
The door slid open and in walked a young woman with blonde hair and green eyes. She was smiling happily as she sat down before him and began to pour the tea into the small cup. Then she saw that he was pouting and she smirked.
"Don't worry about Yasuo. If I were really interested in him, do you think I would be serving you tea right now?" She stood up and brought the cup to him, blowing on it to make sure it wouldn't burn him. "Here."
He scoffed at it. "Why the hell do you keep trying to force that thing down my throat? I told you before that I didn't want it." He turned away and checked his armor to make sure everything was in place.
"Can't you just try it?"
Just when he was going to consider drinking the cup of poison, a messenger boy from the Palace arrived. Somehow, the messengers always managed to come at the right moment. However, it was because of these messengers that he was never able to share one cup of tea with his wife before he died on the battlefield.
Then Katashi woke up and remembered it was just a dream.
To prevent this tragedy, I would've done anything. Just be there with me when I fall.
For Alice Shay, it was business as usual. The regulars were coming in with their regular orders and the new ones were eager to try the new flavors she had come up with. She served all her customers with a smile and genuine happiness. She was certain that the day was going to be like any other day. However, she hadn't counted on the strange blue-haired man standing outside of her shop for hours and hours.
At first, she had just thought that he was standing because he was waiting for someone. Maybe he was gazing at the interior of the shop. But as time went on, she began to notice that his eyes were on her and nothing else. It would follow her through the shop as she served tea and cleaned. It would even follow her through the kitchen doors.
"What's that blue-haired guy doing outside the shop?" she asked.
Her friend turned to look out the window, and only replied with a confused look. "There's no one out there, Alice."
Alice turned toward the man and saw him there, clear as day. Yet, when she asked the rest of her friends, they all replied that no one was there. She considered the idea that her friends were playing some practical joke on her, but the confusion on their faces was genuine. The only other possibility was that she had gone crazy.
Finally, unable to take it, she stomped out of her shop and marched over to the man. But when she walked out of the shop and closed the door, she looked at the spot and saw that the man was gone. She went back into the store, built-up anger turned into confusion, and returned to work.
When she glanced at the spot again, he was not there.
Just like you were when we both fell in love.
There was a small tournament in which the generals held every two years for rising soldiers. Each of the seven generals picked two soldiers and then two random soldiers were chosen. Katashi had been chosen by General Aizen to compete in the tournament. The other chosen soldiers were strong, but Katashi knew that they were weak when compared to him. The two random soldiers were extremely weak looking. One was a newcomer who had just entered the army. The other one was a man with a small, feminine figure who wore a white mask with three holes for his eyes and mouth. Katashi had never seen him before but almost felt as if he had.
The tournament lasted for five days and nights. Katashi easily overcame every opponent in his way and rose to be one of the finalists. The other finalist, to his and everyone's surprise, was the masked soldier.
On the fifth day the sun was shining high and bright that day. The two finalists stood on the battleground as the winds began to stir. Everyone else stood at a safe distance and, with heavy anticipation, waited for the battle to start.
The referee dropped the flag. At that moment, Katashi unsheathed his sword and ran towards his opponent with the thought of slicing the mask off his face. Just as he was closing in on him, the masked soldier stepped aside and Katashi went tumbling into the dirt.
When the crowd laughed, Katashi glared at the masked soldier who looked as emotionless as ever in his mask. Katashi got up and charged at his opponent with all his blind rage and strength. His opponent just stood still as he waited for Katashi to close in. But instead of stepping aside, the masked soldier unsheathed his sword. Their swords met in a clash of metal.
They both struggled in a battle of power and strength, trying to push the other away. But Katashi's strength was unrivaled.
Katashi smirked a cocky smirk as he pushed the masked soldier back a little. "Give it up, runt! I'm stronger and better than you'll ever be!"
The masked soldier also smirked a cocky smirk. "Don't be so sure!"
The voice did not sound like that of a man's at all. It sounded like a woman's. Katashi let his surprise take over him for a moment.
In that small moment, the masked soldier gained the upper hand. He managed to push Katashi away and this time came charging at him. Katashi gained his senses and was on his guard. Their swords met again. This time, Katashi did not hold back. He planned to completely overpower his opponent and bring him to his knees.
But then Katashi noticed that the masked soldier's lips were not rough like a soldiers. It was not cracked with the scars of a heated battle. They looked soft. Wait a minute. Why was he looking in the first place?
In that small moment, the masked soldier gained the upper hand. He had gathered his strength and then pushed Katashi's sword away. Somehow Katashi's hand had slipped and his sword flew out of his hand. The masked soldier had his sword next to Katashi's neck. The referee called time and told everyone that the winner was the masked soldier.
Everybody was shocked. They were even more shocked when the soldier took off his mask and revealed himself as a woman. Not just any woman; she was Arisu Hamasaki, the daughter of an advisor and the Emperor's bride-to-be.
The moment of unmasking, the soldiers and generals all bowed down to her-all except for Katashi. He was staring at her lips, cursing them for bringing about his downfall. If he had never noticed them, he would've won the battle.
If he had never noticed them, he would've never fallen in love.
We were falling but we didn't even know it.
Grimmjow had returned to his quarters in Hueco Mondo. He was in his room, just staring at the never-changing dark sky. But even as he tried to keep his mind off of that girl, he found that he could not. It annoyed him greatly.
The girl was still the same as when he had been alive. She had the same eyes, the same nose, the same hair, the same lips. Remembering her lips again, Grimmjow recalled the memory of their first kiss. But before he got very far in his recollection, he willed himself to stop because it was very uncharacteristic of him to be like this.
Grimmjow punched as many walls as he could, not caring if the infrastructure of the Palace would be damaged in any way. When he was done punching and letting out his anger and stress, he found himself once again thinking about her.
The memory of their first kiss came to him, and he allowed himself to indulge in it.
But somehow when we fell in love, we didn't fall down. We fell up like the vapors of warm cup.
Ever since that first encounter, Katashi started to pay more attention to her. He noticed her when he walked on his rounds. He noticed her when she was walking with her sisters. But he noticed her most when he was in the presence of the Emperor.
It was no secret that the Emperor was very fond of Arisu. They had been childhood friends, seeking the company of each other. The Emperor turned to Arisu when he had problems he could not fix alone. He turned to her when he had lost his parents to mercenaries at the tender age of 13 and suddenly found himself on the throne. It was no surprise that she would be his Empress.
He had to have her by his side almost every moment of the day. During important meetings about matters of the country, he would call for a servant to send for her and bring her to the meeting. Arisu contributed much to the meetings, but everyone knew that the Emperor had not sent for her because of her brilliant mind. During those meetings, the Emperor would absentmindedly stare at her. The other advisors and generals would not say anything because they feared being dismissed.
As a rising soldier, Katashi was invited to one of those meetings and witnessed the affection between the Emperor and Empress-to-be. When he saw it, his blood boiled so much that it overflowed. He stood up in the middle of an advisor's speech and just walked out, surprising everyone in the room.
It was soon night and Katashi went around the Palace doing his rounds. He made sure that all the guards were alert and in their positions. After he was done, he headed back to his quarters but dreaded the walk back because he would have to pass the Emperor's quarters on his way. During the night, the Emperor always had Arisu make him tea. The aroma of the tea was enough for Katashi's heart to beat faster in his chest. He didn't want to feel that sensation tonight.
But strangely enough, there was no aroma and the Emperor's light was already out. Katashi paused for a moment to wonder what was happening. Then he wondered about why he was wondering and felt angry at himself. He walked back to his quarters with a heavy feeling in his stomach. But he didn't walk far. When he turned the next corner, there she was, leaning against the wall and waiting for him. The scent of the tea hit his nose but it didn't calm him as it was supposed to. The scent of it just made his blood boil and the heavy feeling sink further into his core.
"What're you doing here, runt?" he spat out. He didn't want to say her name or add a honorific to the end because it would confirm that she was higher than him.
Arisu didn't seem to mind. She just smiled and walked over to him. "I noticed that you seemed angry at the meeting, so I wanted to give you some tea to calm you down, Katashi-kun." She offered the tea to him.
Katashi looked at the tea as if it were poison, despite its nice smell. He scoffed at it and looked at her smiling face. His eyes were focused on those lips again. He felt annoyed at himself for looking at them again. "I don't want any tea right now, runt. Besides, why would I need someone like you caring about me?"
Arisu's smile faded. "I just thought that maybe I had something to do with why you ran out during the meeting today, so I came to help somehow. I guess I just wasted my time. Goodnight then Tora-san."
She turned to walk away. Without thinking, Katashi grabbed her wrist and pulled her back to him. She dropped her tea and the wooden cup rolled away somewhere. Arisu was about to yell and hit him when suddenly she felt his lips on hers.
Katashi found out that kissing Arisu was better than drinking tea any day.
When we reached our highest point, we didn't want to fall down.
It was had been a week since Alice last saw the blue-haired man. Ever since then she had been having strange dreams about him and about herself. The dreams never made sense because they were blurry and vague. Alice always found herself waking up and wondering why she had dreamed about him. She thought that she would forget him as long as she never saw him again.
But just as she was beginning to forget about him, she saw him outside of her store again.
We didn't want to vanish like vapors.
In front of everyone, Arisu and Katashi acted as if they had never known each other. But when night came and everyone was asleep, they would go into a secluded area of the Palace and enjoy the company of one another. They would talk as if they had been old friends and the fact that she was going to be the Empress did not matter. They were two friends and lovers in their own little paradise.
Suddenly a struggle broke out in the western coast of the country. The foreigners from the land where the sun fell wanted to be where the sun rises. However, the Emperor was not willing for that to happen. He immediately sent his troops in to destroy the coming invaders.
It was before this battle that Arisu began the act of serving tea to everyone in the Palace, which included the soldiers. The day before the battle, she managed to organize the entire army into ten rooms. She and every servant in the house served tea to all the soldiers with the hope that the tea would help relax them, as well as be their first (and maybe last) pleasant experience before heading out to the battlefield.
The room was bustling with all the soldiers complimenting Arisu's tea. They wanted more and more. It got to the point that the aroma of the tea began to spread to every corner of Japan.
It was around late afternoon that a servant noticed that Arisu was not in any of the ten rooms. She told the Emperor and a search party was sent. It wasn't until late evening that Katashi announced that he had found her wondering the woods for some more herbs to make some more tea. He took her to the Emperor, bowed, said his thanks, and left for some rest.
The two lovers had thought they had pulled it off that night. But the Emperor had noticed the way Katashi held Arisu's hand; their fingers were intertwined. When he saw this, he knew that something was happening between them. As the oil from his jealousy fueled his rage, he began to think of a plot to kill Katashi.
But a wind had to come and chill this love. With that chill, we vanished like the warmth from the cup.
Grimmjow felt that he had to go back to the teashop to do something about the lingering feeling in his holed out gut. But his trip proved unfruitful. All he did was stand outside the shop and watch her again. He knew that she was aware of his presence, but couldn't care less if he disturbed her from her work. In fact, a part of him wanted to disturb her the same way that she had disturbed him. It was a bittersweet, empty revenge that left him feeling even angrier and more annoyed.
"I shouldn't be doing this. Why the hell am I doing this?" he screamed at himself that night. He punched another wall and held his position for a long time as he recalled the last memory he could retrieve from the back of his mind. As the memory progressed, he smashed more walls until his strength ran out. Then he stopped and stood in the middle of his room, not caring if the ceiling would fall and hit him. Thinking about his last memory, he felt a bloodlust rise. He made a resolution to fulfill it tonight.
That's why I want to turn back time. To keep this love warm and fresh so that we can be vapors forever falling up but never disappearing.
Katashi fought many battles, rising in rank after each one. He was soon known as the youngest general in the Emperor's court. He was happy with the title not because of the recognition he received, but the more time he got to see Arisu. Because their relationship had matured and progressed, it was harder to act as if they didn't know each other. They would try to catch a rare glance at each other without being seen by the other people of the court. There soon was a rumor going around that Katashi and Arisu were having an affair behind the Emperor's back. Then the rumor matured into a secret plot of escaping the Palace and eloping.
Although Katashi and Arisu agreed to keep their love a secret, Katashi was beginning to think that that wasn't such a great idea. The rumors didn't help much either. In fact, Katashi had considered the idea of eloping and even told Arisu about it. But Arisu said, "I can't leave the Emperor. He needs me more than you know."
"He just wants you to cover for his incompetence," Katashi said.
Arisu just left after that and would not talk to Katashi for two days.
Then one night Arisu was late for their nightly rendezvous and Katashi went to check on her. He went to her chambers but she was not there. He walked to the Emperor's chambers with quiet steps. However, just as he was about to round the corner, the door opened and Arisu walked out. He waited and when Arisu turned the corner, he surprised her by grabbing her hand and running back to their secret place.
He didn't stop until they were at their secret place. Then he passionately kissed her, but the passion was gone the moment Arisu slapped him.
"What the hell is your problem!" he shouted.
"You are! You know, this is all we ever do and I'm tired of it! In fact, I don't even think you really love me!"
"And you think that Emperor could!"
"At least the Emperor has the courage and strength to tell me that he loves me."
"I don't need to tell you every damn thing I feel, runt. And I'm much stronger than that incompetent Emperor."
"There you go. You think you're just so strong and heroic, but you're not! And that's what I hate about you!"
"Well there's a million things I hate about you!"
"If you hated me that much, why did you kiss me?"
"That was just a spur of the moment."
"If it was just a spur of the moment, then I shouldn't be wasting my time with you. I don't even know why I do!"
"Then don't! I don't need your time."
"Well, I don't need you!"
With that Arisu ran away. The next day, preparations began for the Emperor's wedding. In three days, Arisu was the Empress. She and Katashi still hadn't talked. Arisu was too busy giving the Emperor a kiss every other second.
Then in the following week, there was another battle. Katashi was still so wound up and angry that he blindly ran into the battlefield. He and his small troop all died.
His spirit woke up and he briefly wondered what to do. His mind began to wonder off about Arisu. He thought about what she would do now that he was dead. Then he remembered that she had married the Emperor just three days after their fight and still hadn't said anything to him. In fact, the last time he saw her, she was looking quite pleased with herself and her new title.
With that anger, he felt himself begin to change physically and mentally. The small metal plug in his stomach cracked and was gone, leaving behind a hole. When the metamorphosis was done, he felt an animalistic hunger to kill. He saw the soul of one of his troopers and pounced on him. By the end of the night, he had devoured all of the souls on that battlefield. He craved for more power, more strength.
So he ate and ate until he grew smaller and smaller, refining his form to one resembling a tiger. He vowed to himself to become stronger and stronger so that he would never again be the weak man he had been. He also vowed to never think of Arisu again. So he never did until that day he saw her in that small teashop.
But even love can't defy the laws of nature. If it isn't strong enough, it will break down into bitter-tasting, poisonous chaos.
Alice didn't care if her friends thought she was crazy, she was going to find that blue haired man. After that second sighting, she filled a thermos with some tea and set out to find him. She asked everyone if they knew who the blue haired man was. But no one knew because no one had seen him. There was a orange haired boy that she asked who seemed to know, but he quickly denied her of any information about him.
Night fell on Karakura town and still Alice was looking for him. Then, just when she was about to give up, he appeared before her. When she saw him, she sighed a brief of relief and smiled.
"You know, I've been looking for you. I don't know why I was, but I felt like I had to." She looked at his familiar hair and face, not at all noticing the look of a murderer. In her mind, he looked the same as in her dream, somewhat rough but also gentle. "It might sound crazy, but I think I've known you before. Katashi Tora, right?"
He was surprised for a moment. "It's been a long time since I heard that name. And you said that you've been looking me for me?"
Alice nodded.
"Then you've been looking for death, Arisu."
So although I can't keep this love warm and fresh, I hope that we can share it at least once.
The Emperor showed no signs of the rumors' effects or if he had even heard them. But everyone began to notice that he would not stray from Arisu's side. This protectiveness was unusual of a man of such high power that his people began to doubt his abilities as an Emperor. One advisor even had the gall to shout to him, "If you can't control your woman, how can we expect you to control a country?" Needless to say, that advisor was sentenced to life in prison and the Emperor could not keep his emotions bottled up any longer.
"Arisu-chan, you have heard the rumors about you and Katashi, haven't you?" he asked her one night when she came to serve him tea.
She kept poised and warm. "I've only heard bits and pieces. They are funny stories that the servants gossip about when they're unaware of my presence. Why do you ask, My Lord?"
"Are they true?"
"Not in the least bit. They are just stories, My Lord." She leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "I am to be Katashi-kun's Empress, but I will always be your Arisu."
The Emperor smiled and brought the cup up to his mouth. His smile faded when he noticed something odd in the aroma of the tea. It wasn't the tea's normal herbal smell. There was something sinister hiding underneath.
"Is something wrong, My Lord?" she asked, that smile still plastered on her face.
The Emperor turned to her with an intense look. "Arisu-chan, why is there sleeping powder in my tea?"
The smile disappeared. In its place was fear. "What, My Lord?"
The Emperor set the tea down. Then he reached over the small table and shook Arisu by her shoulders. "Tell me, Arisu-chan, why did you put sleeping powder in my tea? Were you planning to run off with Katashi-kun tonight?"
"My Lord, I swear I know nothing-please let go-you're hurting me, My Lord."
"This is nothing to what I felt when I heard those rumors. This is nothing to what I feel now. How could you, Arisu-chan? I loved you! I hoped that you would return it in due time, like you had promised when we were betrothed, but instead you decide to give it to a lowly soldier!"
He shook her so hard and his trip was so tight on her shoulders that Arisu, the strong woman who was to be Empress, cried and begged for mercy. But no matter what she said, he only shook her harder and his grip tightened even more. It was so much pain that Arisu could no longer tolerate it. Her hands grabbed the Emperor's and tried to force them away from her. But this act of self-defense only enraged him even more.
"Do you think you can control me again, Arisu? No more! I will NOT let you control me anymore!"
The Emperor stood up and grabbed Arisu's hand. She screamed for help, but none came. The Emperor had covered her mouth with his hand, muffling her screams. He leaned into her ear and whispered to her a secret plan he had been plotting ever since he saw her holding hands with Katashi. Arisu's eyes widened and she was still and silent. When the Emperor was finished, she was trembling.
"But because I love you, Arisu, I won't do any of those things to Katashi if you do one thing for me."
"Anything."
"Break his little heart the next time you see him. When you do, come running back to me."
So when Arisu walked out of the room, she was still trembling with fear. She prayed that she would not meet him until the next day. But the moment she turned the corner, Katashi grabbed her hand and dragged her away. And when he did, she felt her heart sink and tears blinded her eyes.
Then, about a week and a half later, when she heard that he was dead she poisoned her own tea. Her spirit wondered off to the battlefield, wondering if Katashi's spirit was still there. However, when she got there all she saw a huge masked creature. It came towards her and she was too frightened to move.
Just when she thought that she would die, she felt someone pick her up. When she opened her eyes again, she saw a man in a black kimono. He smiled at her and reassured her that all was well.
"Now I'm going to send you to the Soul Society," he said. He lifted his sword, ready to stamp her forehead with the seal on the bottom of the hilt.
"Will Katashi be there?"
"All souls go the Soul Society," he reassured her.
Arisu smiled at the thought of seeing Katashi once more. She told herself that she would tell him everything. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
The last thought she had was, "Let's finally share a cup of tea together."
At least once so that we can taste some of what remains of this broken love. Maybe then we'll realize what fools we were.
"Excuse me?" Alice was just now noticing the menacing, murderous look in his eyes. He took a step toward her and an incredible amount of pressure almost pushed her down, but she remained standing. The thermos dropped from her hands and rolled a few inches away.
"I'm going to do what I've wanted to do for a long, long time, Arisu," he said with a smirk. "You're finally going to pay for what you did to me."
"I don't know what you're talking about. I never did anything to you. I don't know this 'Arisu' you're talking about. I don't understand why do you want to kill me?" Alice wanted to run but the pressure around her was so heavy that she would barely lift a finger.
"It doesn't matter to me whether or not you know. All that matters is that you die by my hands." Grimmjow was suddenly in front of her. Without giving her a moment to realize what was going on, he punched her in the stomach.
She spat out blood and doubled up in pain while clutching her stomach. She looked up at the blue haired man and wondered what could've happened that was so bad. But right now survival was more important than answering that question. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the thermos. Although it had been half a day, the tea was still warm. She made a mad grab for it. But before she reached it, he grabbed her hand and pulled it up so that she was standing straight again.
"Give it up, runt," he said. "I'm stronger and better than you'll ever be."
"Don't be so sure," she breathed out.
He was in a moment of surprise at her words. Taking the opportunity, Alice mustered all her energy into her leg and gave Grimmjow a kick in between his legs. This time, it was he was doubled over in pain. Taking the moment, Alice grabbed the thermos and popped open the lid. Just as he was starting to straighten up, she splashed the drink in his face.
Grimmjow stood up to his full height with warm tea over the front part of his hair and face. He licked his lips, tasting the tea. Then he began to laugh maniacally. He turned to Alice. His impure intentions were evident in his eyes as he walked toward her. She tried to hit him with the thermos, but he had caught her hand and broke her bones in an instant. Then he hit her in the chest, literally taking away her breath. He threw her into the nearest wall and smirked when he heard the sound of more bones break.
Just when he was about to deliver the finishing blow, Ichigo appeared and took the girl away. Grimmjow didn't bother to follow them because his bloodlust had been quenched. He had shown her that he wasn't weak and that he was better than that damn Emperor. As long as she knew that and she feared that, he was well.
He was sure that she would never be warm and calm like tea again.
Or realize that from the start, it had always been and will forever be poison for us both.
Author's Notes
Arisu is the Japanese version of Alice. Katashi was a name that sounded fitting of Grimmjow (at least in my opinion), so I picked it for him.
