Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Author's Note: So, Fred and George wouldn't know a lot of Muggle references, so I couldn't use them. Little Rose Weasley, usually portrayed as perfect, would know them, due to her mother. So, here is my spin on Rose Weasley.

Detention Number One:

So, I really shouldn't love to prank people. Look who my parents are, rule-abiding Hermione Granger-Weasley and Ron "Can't Take a Joke" Weasley. I should have no sense of humor. Well, that is dead wrong.

Headmistress McGonagall informed me that I was the first person to ever get a detention before stepping into Hogwarts. Uncle George will be so jealous when I tell him.

So here I am, sitting in the Headmistress' Office, contemplating my misdeed. It really isn't worth a detention. Honestly, I didn't hurt, maim, kill, scar, or torture anyone. It isn't my fault I didn't know the Giant Squid is attracted to perfume. I guess I should explain.

As we, we being my cousin Albus Severus Potter and myself, sat on the Hogwarts Express, I grew bored. Al was too busy sulking over whether or not he'd be in Slytherin to talk to me. So, I began to think. I decided that to occupy my time, I would use my brand new Potions kit to make a perfume. After a few fun explosions, I found a scent I enjoyed.

It was a mix of bitter oranges, cinnamon, vanilla and musk. Unfortunately, to give it a nice violet color, I added some random, odorless ingredient. I put the perfume on immediately. As we were crossing the Lake, the added ingredient became clear. Giant Squid mating pheromones. As the Squid rushed to the surface, we all panicked. When it became clear my perfume was the center of all of the problems, I was quickly removed from the Lake, via accio spell, and sent here.

It isn't my fault they put that stuff in my Potion's Kit. And it isn't my fault they were purple. And it isn't my fault purple is my favorite color. Well, maybe that's my fault. But I don't deserve this detention!


Detention Number 2:

I maintain this detention is Mum's fault. If she hadn't insisted I get a firm background in Muggle culture, this never would have happened. Uncle Harry always said myths have a base in fact. This is clearly not my fault. I mean, call something forbidden and it immediately appeals to people. Like the Forbidden Fruit! Eve ate it, after the snake told her too. So, therefore Eve is a Parselmouth, and not a sadistic, ignorant woman who condemned all of us to periods and child labor.

I apologize for that, Mum made me take Bible classes.

Anyway, if you forbid something, everyone wants to do it. Take my Aunt Ginny for an example. When she was in Hogwarts, all the guys knew her brothers would kill them if they looked at her, she was 'forbidden.' Yet, she managed to have healthy relationships with three guys while in school. But I am getting off topic. What I mean to say is that I am in no way, shape, or form responsible for my actions. What did I do? Oh, that is a good question.

It all begins with a memory of my childhood. I remembered the story Mum used to read to me, about Winnie-the-Pooh. He lived in the Hundred Acre Wood. The Forbidden Forest sure looked like a hundred acres. Who wouldn't believe that somewhere in it lived a yellow bear, a pink piglet, a crotchety rabbit, and a wise owl? So, I decided to go exploring.

I talked my way out of trouble with the centaurs. They are all big softies at heart. I told them the stories about Pooh, and they decided to allow me into the Forest as "Official Storyteller to the Centaurs." Anyway, as I went deeper into the Forest, the spookier things got. I think it was about nine o'clock at night.

That's when they discovered I was missing. After a quick talk with Al, who told them he heard me muttering about the Hundred Acre Wood, a search party was set up. In about twenty minutes, I was taken out of the Forest. I was doing fine.

I faced down an Acromantula, with minimal damage to both of us; repelled a Blast-Ended Skrewt with no damage to me, though its pride may be hurt; and, as previously mentioned, was able to make friends with the centaurs. Honestly, I can take care of myself. But, the teachers were mad, and I swear, Headmistress McGonagall nearly had a coronary when I told her why I was in the Forbidden Forest. Maybe she'll be more lenient after I search the Black Lake for SpongeBob Squarepant's house. That is big enough to be the sea. Better go research Bubble-Head Charm.