I am official the stupidest person in the world. I mean hands down. I Bella Swan have the gold medal in stupidities. Let me explain, see I had this massive crush on one of my classmates, James Grievous. He was in my statistics class at UW. My Best friend and roommate, Alice Brandon, told me to just forget him. She said he was what she called a 'user'. Not a Drug user but a people user. She said that he only got close to people that he wanted something from. I never saw it but to be honest, I only ever spent my time looking at his beautiful face and tight and fabulously delicious ass.
So here is where my stupidities come in. right after midterms, Alice started dating this new guy Jasper. With Jasper being around more so were some of his friends (Emmett, Carlisle, and Edward). One of his friends, Edward, seemed to be around a little bit more than the others. He started to show interest in me and I loved it. We started to hang out alone and I was starting to like him really, really. I thought that if things keep progressing the way that they were then we might have something serious soon.
One day after just before finals James approached me and asked me if I wanted to be his study partner for the finals. I was stunned that he was talking to me that I did not have any normal thoughts going through my head. We left straight from class to the library to start studying. We had been at the library for about two hours when I checked my phone for the first time. I had two missed calls from Alice and two missed calls from Edward. I also had four text messages from Edward asking me where I was. I excused myself from and left the library. As soon as I got out I called
Edward back.
"Bella, where are you?" he asked as soon as he picked up the call.
"At the library studying" I answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"You could have called me, I've been worried. No one knew where you were." he sounded angry.
"Sorry I didn't know I had to check in every five minutes," I said defensively.
"I don't need to know where you every second of the day Bells, but we had plans for lunch an hour ago."
"Shit Edward, I'm so sorry I forgot. I was studying, and I lost track of time. James was just having such a tough time with some of the problems. I really am sorry."
"James was with you?" he asked sounding very annoyed.
"Um... yeah he needed some help with the work we were studying so he asked if I could help him."
"Just be careful with him Bella."
"We were just studying." he laughed humorlessly.
"Just don't fall for his shit, please?"
"I won't. How I bout I make it up to you and we meet at the diner for dinner in an hour, My treat."
"Sure"
I did meet Edward for that afternoon for a late lunch early dinner but unfortunately, that was not the last time I missed meeting Edward because I was caught up studying with James. Edward never complained about it he just asked me to be careful around James. That was until James asked me out on a date and yes, I accepted. (Although Edward, Alice and a few others had warned me about him.) It was our first 'date'. Most of the other times we met up it was for studying. When I had mentioned it to Alice that I was going on a date with James she flipped out and tried to talk me out of it. When that did not work she called in reinforcements, meaning she called Edward. He was furious and demanded that I cancel my date at once. That pissed me off to no end and told him that I would do no such thing. He then tried to tell me that if I went on this date that he would not be there when it blew up in my face. (Just a small reminder I am a complete idiot. I am the stupidest person in the history of stupid people.) I went on that date knowing full well the reputation James had and that my friends were not going to pick up the pieces when he showed me his true colors.
The date started off well for the most part. James to me to a restaurant that well seemed a little cheap, but I was not one to judge so I tried to enjoy myself. After the eating, he asked if I wanted to see a movie. Things were going well so far so I agreed. He drove us about forty-five minutes away from where my apartment was. (remember this it will come handy in a minute.)
He chose the move and picked something crappy and made us sit all the way in the back. Once the lights went down his hands found their way to my lap. After a few attempts to remove his had failed I tried moving my leg. That did not work either. He became more courageous and even tried to kiss my neck. At that point, I just got up and left the theater. He followed me out and once we were out he pushed me against the wall and tried to cop a feel. In the middle of the hall in front of other people. After I pushed him off and told him to keep his nasty paws off me, he called me every name in the book that left me there all alone.
I did not have enough to call a cab and the buses had stopped running two hours before. I would have called my friends to come to get me but after all the shit that was said I was too proud, and shall I say to stupid, to do it. So, I made my way back on foot. Let me just say that I was very thankful that I wore flats. It took me close to three hours to get back to my place.
I was tired and angry (at myself). All I wanted to do was shower his stench off me and go to bed. I was surprised to see that the living room was full of my friends. I avoided them all and made it into the bathroom before any of them could say anything to me. I took a long hot shower rubbing off the feeling of that thing's hands on me. When I finally stepped out of the shower and into my room Edward was sitting at my desk playing with a pencil.
"How was your date?" Edward asked in a monotone voice. I throw my dirty clothes in my hamper.
"What do you care?" I hissed still angry, mostly at myself.
"That good?" the sarcastic tone was not missed on me. As I sat on my bed he turned to face me.
"Just leave Edward. I'm really not in the mood right now."
"What happened?"
"We went to dinner. Then we went to the movies where he went ahead to try to feel me up. Then when I told him to keep his grubby little hand to himself he left me there, alone. Happy now?" I said trying hard not to yell.
"He did what? And how did you get home? You've been gone for hours."
"I walked home, and it took me forever to get here so I'm really tired right now, so if you don't mind." I laid down and tried to get comfortable.
"Jeez, Isabella, why didn't you call me or Alice or anyone? You could have gotten hurt or... or worse."
"Well I'm home now and I'm safe so you go. You can come by tomorrow and tell me how you warned me. You can even do the I told you so song and dance."
"Bella I'm sorry I was right, but you could have gotten hurt or worse. I am just angry that you did not call for help. DO you realize how bad tonight could have gotten? I can't even think of the possibilities." I turned to face him.
"Edward you made it perfectly clear that if I went on this date tonight you wouldn't care what happened to me, so I didn't call you. I would have called for a cab, but I only have like five dollars on me. Now if you do not mind, leave" I turned in my bed and closed my eyes trying really hard to ignore Edward.
"Whatever." I hear him say just before I heard the door slam shut. I heard them talking outside in the living room, but I tried not to focus on what they were saying. I tried to make myself go to sleep but I could not. My mind would not shut down and I kept thinking of What happened and what I had said to Edward. When the sun started to rise the next morning, I got out of bed and got dressed. I did not want to be in the apartment when Alice woke up. I knew she would reprimand me for everything that happened last night. Once I left I decided that I would take a walk. Yes, even after all the walking I had done the night before and the no sleep I got I walked around the city.
I needed to clear my head. I needed to think about why I kept doing and saying stupid things. My feeling where all over the place. I knew that I had to get some type of direction if I wanted to fix things with Edward. That is if he ever forgave me enough to listen to what I had to say. I knew that the chance of fixing things where slim to none. I mean I went out on a date that I was 95% certain would end badly. I went knowing that Edward and my other friends would be mad and disappointed with me. I went only because I was the stupid curious cat that got killed, well not killed but you know what I mean.
After an hour or so I found myself in front of my favorite diner. They had the worst coffee I have ever tried but their pancakes were the best in the world. After ordering I sat there drinking my crappy cup of coffee and thinking. I was taken out of my thoughts when I heard someone sit in the booth across from me. I looked up and saw Edward. I gave him a small hello smile and looked back at my coffee.
"Edward, about last night..."
"You were tired and angry," he said cutting me off. "I know Bella, but you said something..." he trailed off.
"I didn't mean it the way it came out." I tried to explain.
"How did you mean it?"
"I meant that I didn't expect you help me not that I didn't want you to." I looked at my hand not really brave enough to look at his face.
"Why did you go out with him? I mean we all told you how it would end yet you still went."
" I had to make sure, for myself. I had to see it first hand, if not I would have doubts and I do not want to have doubts. I needed to know."
"What would you doubt?"
"I had a crush on James from the moment I saw him. It sat there and festered without interruptions. Then I met someone else that I really liked. Before I could explore that James showed interest in me. I knew it was a ticking time bomb, but I could not say no. I needed to know that what I felt for James was just a stupid school girl crush and nothing more. If I wanted to see were the other relationship went I need to make sure that I never had second thoughts about it."
"So, what are your conclusions?"
"I definitely don't like James at all," I said with a smile trying to lighten the mood.
"What about this 'other' person?"
"What about him?" I knew I was being mean and vague, but I could not just say it was him.
"Who is he?" he looked straight at me and I looked away I was such a coward and I knew it. I did not want to see the look in his eyes when he turned me down.
"He's really smart and very funny. He is kind to everyone but honest. I think he liked me, but I've been such a bitch lately and so incredibly stupid that I wouldn't be surprised if he thought I wasn't worth it anymore."
"If he thinks that then he's the stupid one."
"What do you think?" I asked wanting to know how he felt before I put my heart out there.
"I think you should stop skirting around the topic and just be honest with me."
"Okay," I said taking a big breath. "I like you, a lot and I didn't want to have doubts or thoughts about other guys if I was with you. You deserve better than that, hell you deserve better than me, but I thought that if you gave me a chance that you deserved all my attention. I wanted to make sure you got that, and you have it if you want it that is." after a spoke we sat in silence for a few minutes. I just poured my heart out to him and he said nothing. I looked at my now empty cup and tried to stop the tears from escaping. I would not cry in front of him, I could not. I took a deep breath and moved out of the booth. I was about to turn and leave when I felt his hand grab mine.
"Isabella, I have a question before you go." I nodded for him to continue. I just hoped it did not make me look stupider than I already felt. It felt like the seconds passed like hours. I just wanted to get out of there. "You want to be my girlfriend?" I let out a breath I had not realized I was holding. Then I was angry.
"You ass hole you scared me," I said slapping his shoulder.
"Is that a yes or a no?" he said laughing at me.
"That's a yes just don't scare me like that again, got it?" he nodded and pulled me into his side of the booth and kissed me.
The End
