Before you read on, I'd like to tell you that this fic is in Rukawa's point of view. I wrote it after listening to Evanescence's 'Bring Me To Life'. It's a sooo Rukawa song.
Bring Me To Life
I watched as he tried to shoot into the hoop… again. I shook my head, knowing that he could not. The wounds on his body were too painful for him. Yet, why didn't I stop him from even trying? Why? Because I know how it feels to be abused because of your own dreams, your own feelings? But who am I to talk about feelings when I dumped them aside ever since I was his age. Is there anything I can do to stop him from becoming me, an emotionless being?
"Shiro!" I heard a feminine voice shout out to him. A young girl, slightly older than him, rushed to his side." Shiro… dame desu. Let your wounds heal. If anything happens to you, you'll never be able to be a great basketball player." Shiro looked up to the girl, his cheeks stained with his tears," nee-chan! Why? Why is tou-san…??" I watched him sob into his sister's chest and sighed. At least, his sister believes in him. At least, he has a sister to save him. At least, his sister could bring his hopes back. I do not have anyone in my life. I will be in this impassive vortex till I die of my own abandonment. I know that much. But why… why do I want someone to save me? Me, the ever-cold Rukawa Kaede…
Another day in school, just great. It is bad enough I have to put up with those bimbos in school, then those snotty teachers, then that do'ahou… I cycled down the normal route I take to school, feeling sleepier than usual. CRASH! I felt myself being thrown of my bike. I had crashed into another bicycle, belonging to the girl who was tapping her foot in front of me.
"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!" she shouted. I ignored her. I hate girls, period. They're nothing but nosy, nutty, whining bitches. She grabbed my shoulder, yanking me for my undivided attention. "I'm going to be late for school because of you!" I picked up my bike.
"So? It's not my problem," I answered monotonously.
"Listen! You crashed into my bike and you expect me to ignore you like you're doing to me?!" she huffed. I glared at her. I really do not want to hear this right now.
"Tell it to someone who cares…" I muttered, getting on my bike and riding off, away from here.
It's weird how life has its ways of retaliation. I finally got to school and got into my class. As soon as I sat on my seat the door burst open and the girl from before came in. I was slightly surprised but, being unfazed, I did not show it. She did.
"YOU!" she pointed her finger at me," what are you going to do about my bike?!" I glared at her.
"Do'ahou…" I muttered to her before shutting myself completely from her ranting. She finally stopped when the teacher came in. We all greeted and then she was called forward. The teacher was writing her name on the blackboard then.
"Class, this is your new classmate, Erizawa Kai," he said. She bowed.
"Yorishiku onegaishimasu…"
"Erizawa-san… why don't you seat at the empty seat next to Rukawa?" There were several gasps from the girls from behind.
"Who is Rukawa?" she asked. At that, the entire class laughed at her, embarrassing her entirely. The teacher blinked at her before pointing at me. She finally sat at the seat beside me, glaring. Is she ever planning to drop the bike issue?
The next few days were a lot quieter, Erizawa actually apologized or her rudeness. I think I remembered she said she acted that way because she had a bad start of her day. I believe I told her it was alright. This was all pointless to me, anyway. I do not care. Now I sat at the roof of the school and lay down at a corner to have a nap. I almost drifted to sleep when the door open with a bang. A familiar figure came from out, sobbing. I peeped and realized it was Erizawa. She was crying. Should I say something? It is not any of my business anyway. She had not noticed me yet as she cried at another corner. I thought all was safe before she muttered, " why tou-san?" Her father? What would have…? The sobbing had stopped.
"Rukawa-san? What are you doing here?" she mumbled. Crap! She noticed me.
"It's none of your business…" I went, in my usual monotony.
"You take naps here, right?" she faked a smile at me. She was trying to hide her sorrow. It's too bad that I could see through her act.
"Hn. Don't you have anything else to do?" I muttered, before turning away. Stop bothering me.
"Rukawa-san… I know you don't do this… but can I talk to you? You don't have to answer, I just want to let things out…" I gave her a look. Her ocher eyes reflected the sorrow I had been made familiar with, for it used to be my own. I could not turn away from it. Why?
"Make it quick…" I gave her my usual response. She sat beside me, and started talking. I decided then to listen to her story and to find it was not different from mine. Her father, the abuser… the breaker of dreams, the bearer of a torture called 'discipline'. She started sobbing at mid-sentence while she was talking about her mother's death. I watched her struggle her frustrations, take her own road to abandonment… I did not know what happened next but I found my arms around her shoulders. My lips moved, telling her to calm down. My fingers moved, drying her tears. I did not understand what had happened but I understood why. I felt my own pain. I cursed to myself. Why? Why? Why tou-san?? Had I not did what you wanted? Had I not? The questions I had asked my father a long time ago rung in my head. And I believed that it rung in Erizawa's too.
"Rukawa-san…" she whispered, pushing herself up lightly," arigatou." She smiled at me.
"Aa… Erizawa-san," I muttered back, returning to my slumber. I could sense her smile growing broader as the one word echoed in my ears, arigatou…
I never thought that there were people suffering like me. What are you thinking, Rukawa Kaede? Even if you sacrificed your soul, you could not stop the pain that everyone suffers from. Still… still… I want to save them. That boy, Shiro, Erizawa… I jumped and slammed the ball into the hoop with all my might, my frustrations let out with one single bound. Basketball was an escape for me now. I would stay late till about midnight, then return home, where my father had fallen asleep. Then, I would do whatever work I have left and then go to bed. What are you running from? My own father? Why? Because he made me desert my feelings, my free will… Then why do you want to save those who suffered the same? That question stumped me. Why? Because it hurts me to see someone else suffer? No, that's not the reason. I wanted to shut that voice in my head. Yet it still asks… Why? Why is it, Rukawa Kaede? It was simple… staring out to me. Because I wanted someone to save me from the dark, to wake me up. I had come undone of emotion. I was the same as being dead or stuck in comatose. I felt only the void of nothingness inside. I sat on the floor of the court and stared at the hoop, thinking, someone save me…
Another day in school, I had decided to spend it on the roof again. I sat down at my corner and my mind refreshed me of my questions I had with myself from yesterday. I was definitely kidding myself. There was no way I could be saved… At least, I can save someone instead.
"Rukawa-san…" Someone tapped my shoulder. I turned and faced Erizawa again. She smiled at me. "Here," she placed an obento in my hands. I stared blankly at it. "It's lunch time," she told me as she took out her own. I opened it and took a first bite. It was tasty.
"…"
"What?" she asked, hoping I would repeat what I said. I could not resist the small tinge of hope in her eyes at all.
"Oiishi…" I muttered, a bit louder than my usual. She beamed.
"Arigatou… I made it myself," she said as she took another bite. I watched her eat, chomping on her food with a smile on her face. Nobody could guess she was distressed. I was staring at her so much that I caught a blue-black mark on her arm. I caught her arm as she winced in pain.
"What's this?" I asked, eying the mark," it's done recently." She turned away from me. I remembered as much that she said her father was in Okinawa this whole month. "You better explain."
"Rukawa-san…" she started, her eyes watering," there's something I should tell you… I actually have… a boyfriend, or had… since he broke up with me." I placed my chopsticks down and waited for her to continue. "He was the jealous type and the girls have seen us talking and formulated their own version of things… and he heard it."
"He didn't hit you because of that, did he?" She shook her head. She started mumbling incoherently. "Erizawa-san," I went sternly. I had to know.
"He… He…" the tears flowed down her cheeks.
"Erizawa-san, what did he do?" I asked. I felt my blood rise from the tension and an emotion I had not felt since I was ten.
"He raped me!" she blurted out, sinking her face into my chest," he kept on saying that you wouldn't take me if I weren't a virgin. I tried explaining that we weren't…" I finally recognized that emotion. Rage.
"That bastard!" I found myself shouting, feeling the outbreak of my cold shell. I punched the wall beside me and looked at Erizawa. She had suffered enough from her father…
"What's his name?" I asked, the dead coldness portrayed in my voice. How dare he…
"Rukawa-san, please… don't do anything stupid…" I heard her mumble.
"Tell me his name."
"I can't… I don't want to see you hurt." I faced her. She was an angel in my eyes for a second. She was actually looking out for me. "It's alright… as long as you remain a friend to me."
"I will, Kai…" I said. She smiled as I mentioned her first name and hugged me.
"Rukawa-san… can you tell me about yourself sometimes?" I gave that a thought. She wants to know about me. Why? She's different from the other girls, Rukawa Kaede… She doesn't want your attention. She wants to know you… She might… fulfill my wish.
"Hai," I answered back.
I do not understand why, but I felt different today in school. Everything was normal but something was different. I was first in the class, as usual. I sat in my seat, preparing myself for my daily snooze when someone tapped my shoulder.
"Rukawa-san, you're going to stay up today," went the familiar lighthearted tone from Kai.
"Why?"
"Because you're failing your tests," she went, smiling at me.
"Hai…" I muttered. She's still nosy.
"I have a doctor's appointment today," she mumbled to me," it's nothing. Just a check-up." She smiled at me, even when I did not, or had not, pressed my concerns.
"You know I'll find out who he is…" I blurted out to her. Her lip quivered.
"It's bad enough I got hurt from him… You don't have to either," she went, staring straight at the board. My anger had not subdued from that stubborn bastard.
"… Don't be pregnant. I'd like to see you in school." My words seemed to bring hope to her as she gave me her angelic smile that I enjoyed looking at so much.
"Then, promise me that you won't go around looking for him," she said, raising her pinky. I stared at it for a second before crossing mine over hers. She went back to preparing herself for class as she took out her books. I watched her. She, of all people, did not deserve this life she has. Many don't. But she was different. She was like an angel brought down by the darkness. Why do I feel this way about her? That's a very good question to ask yourself, Rukawa Kaede… you always ask 'why'. Shut up. You ask questions to answers you will never understand. Shut up! You know damn well why. That voice in my mind, I hate it so much.
"Rukawa-san, the teacher's here," I heard Kai say, her voice sounding very distant. And it scares me how distant we are.
"Rukawa! Rukawa! L-O-V-E Rukawa!" the girls chanted with all their might. I had attuned myself to completely shut them out. Can't they even shut up during practices? It is very annoying… like that do'ahou.
"URUSAI!!" he shouted, shutting the door that the girls were screeching at. I could thank him if he was not an idiot.
"Oi, Rukawa, can't you do anything about those girls?" Mitsui asked, sharing my annoyance. I shrugged and walked off. "Oi!" Mitsui's shout was so far away… I started looking around. Everyone's voices were starting to sound like echoes. What's happening to me? That's how secluded you are from society, Rukawa Kaede…
"SHUT UP!" I shouted out loud. Now everyone was staring at me but I could not care less. Everything was blackening up, into the dark. I ran off, still fighting with myself. It's true… I'm alone in my own nothingness. You finally face the truth after so many years… Now why? Why, Rukawa Kaede? I'm still finding out why. You know it very well. Tou-san hurt me. Tou-san told me that I was useless. So what did you do? Lose myself into a void of nothingness. Faking everything. Believing that I lived. Therefore, you are living in a lie. I'm nothing more than dead. Nobody can bring the dead back to life. Nobody?
"Rukawa-san!" A hand touched my own. I stopped running and felt it pull me towards… a light. "Rukawa-san…" The voice was close. It sounded like it was near me. "Rukawa-san!" My eyes focused. There was someone in front of me. An angel…
"Who are you?" I muttered.
"It's me, Kai," she mumbled. My eyes snapped, concentrating on Kai's figure. The darkness faded off from her. I could see her face.
"Kai…" I held out my hand and touched her face. She was real. She was real. I felt her hand over my own.
"Rukawa-san…" she mumbled. My vision pulled me back to reality.
"Where am I?" I muttered. She smiled at me, pulling me to a park bench. She sat and I joined her.
"What happened?" she asked me. I looked at her.
"Darkness," I answered back. She looked at me for awhile.
"And?"
"I couldn't see… anything. I ran from it. It was dark. Until…" I stopped. Until what? Until what? What should I say?
"You saw light?" she suggested, smiling at me. I nodded then shook my head.
"Until I saw my light," I placed my hand over hers," I saw you."
"Why me?" she mumbled. Good question. Another truth to that voice, I ask questions to answers I will never understand.
"You are real," I found myself answering.
"Real? Everything here is real, Rukawa-san…" I shook my head.
"Not everything… There are people who live by imitating," I continued," living a lie. So, to them, nothing is real, nobody is real."
"Why would anyone do that?"
"Because they're not real either. They're emotionless, cold creatures…"
"Are you like that then?" she asked, gazing into my sapphire orbs. I did not have to answer her question. She knew. "Why then?"
"You wanted to know about me, right?" I said as I held her hand," Kai, I know you don't do this but can I talk to you?" She smiled at me, tightening the hold on my hand.
"Make it quick," she answered, with a small chuckle.
I had told her everything about my life, my father, my parents' divorce, my father winning custody of me, how that changed me forever. I could not leave out my on share of child abuse and how it led me to become this Rukawa Kaede. When I stopped talking, she touched my face, wiping the moisture from it. My tears. I had not realized I was even crying. I had not felt the pain my heart had been struggling to keep inside.
"Rukawa-san…" My hand overlapped hers on my face. There was alienating warmth coming from her hand. It was disturbing. Yet, it was comforting. I felt my heart placating from the pain. It was suddenly filled with the same warmth I felt from her hand. What is this weird feeling? It was filling up my void. Why? I wanted more of it. What is this feeling? You ask questions to answers you will never understand. But still, I want to know.
"Rukawa-san… Are you okay?" I looked at her face and nodded. There was nothing else I could say.
I returned back to the gym, to pick up my things. Kai had told me that she had gone through her check-up and she left for her house, telling me to get some rest. I took her advice and decided to leave early from gym. I gathered my things and went home, where my father was waiting at the door.
"Kaede," he muttered sternly. I looked up. What does he want? "Come inside." I did. He told me to sit at the living room. On the coffee table were papers. I know them well. Custody papers. "Your mothers filed in another custody today, saying that you are now old enough to live with whoever you want. I want you to choose to live here with me."
"No," I muttered.
"What did you say?!"
"I'm not choosing that, tou-san."
"Are you saying hat you want to live with your good-for-nothing mother?" Good-for-nothing? I'll kill you if you ever say that again, pig.
"No, I'm not saying that either."
"Then what?"
"I want to move out."
"With what money?"
"The money in my account. The money that kaa-san had been sending straight to me ever since I was ten, the money that you never knew about," I answered him. It was true. During the divorce case, kaa-san had set me an account that I swore not to tell tou-san about. She had been sending me money every month for the past six years. I picked up my bag, the papers and left for my room.
"Fine then. I don't have to worry about insolence in this house anymore!" he shouted at my back. I turned and faced him, my eyes cold.
"You were never a father to me," I shot at him before going up the staircase to my room.
"Your own what?!" Kai exclaimed. I gave her a look before taking a gulp from the bottle of green tea she had brought up from me. We were having our usual lunch on the rooftop.
"Apartment. You're invited to live with me, if you want," I muttered.
"Rukawa-san!"
"My father's chucking my stuff out tomorrow evening, so I have to find an apartment by today." Kai shook her head.
"Why didn't you at least considered living with your mom?" she asked, exasperated.
"She remarried this jerk in Kyoto and moved there. I don't want to transfer schools. I happen to like it here," I told her. She smiled at me.
"Hai, hai… I'll help you look for one." I looked at her. "You don't expect me to actually let you go around the whole of Kanagawa alone right?" In reply, I passed her the morning paper. I had already circled the different apartments and boarding houses ads for an area near Shohoku High. She glanced through it. "Still, I'm going with you."
"Is there any way I can get you off my back?"
"You'll have to kill me, Rukawa Kaede…" I shook my head. There is no way I will kill this angel with my own hands. I'd rather kill myself.
And so my apartment hunt began, with Kai, my bike and me. We cycled to different locations only to find that the rent was too high, the apartment was taken, the room was about the size of a cubicle or that it accepts 'women' only. In other words, my luck was running out. The both of us sat down at a bench, having a small snack. I checked my watch. It read 11.00 pm.
"It's getting late…" I muttered. I did not want her to be out this late. She has to go home. She shook her head in anticipation of my words.
"It's alright… we have to find that apartment for you."
"Kai…"
"You can't go home without knowing you've got one…" She's right. I glanced at the newspaper, checking whether I have any more leads. Kai glanced over my shoulder and pointed to one ad I had missed out. "This looks promising," she suggested. I read the ad. It was an apartment for two with furnishings. The rent is reasonable and practically a few blocks away from Shohoku High.
"Worth a shot," I mumbled. Kai nodded.
"Let's go and hope that it's still there."
"There you go," the movers placed the last of my stuff into my new apartment. It was a good thing today was a Saturday. That usually means no practices.
"Arigatou," I muttered and handed two thousand Yen to the men. They soon left and I started to pick up the lighter boxes into my room when the doorbell rang. I opened the door to find Kai standing at my door, smiling.
"Ohaiyo!" She cheerfully greeted.
"…" She's way too cheery in the morning. I moved away from the door and let her in.
"Here," she handed me a bag of groceries," I thought your fridge might be empty…"
"Kai, I don't have a fridge yet. You know that my kitchen's bare," I told her, giving her a look.
"Maybe we can shop for it later?" she asked, giving me a hopeful look. What's wrong with this girl?
"Aa…" She started moving to my boxes.
"Where does this go?"
"Kai, you don't have to…" She did not even listen to me and started to carry one of the boxes. What is wrong with this girl?! I sighed and pointed to the extra room. From that, we started clearing the place of boxes.
It had been around noon when we finished unpacking and cleaning up the place. Kai, now in the kitchen, had been happily helping me out. Now, I watched her cook something from the groceries she bought this morning. She had gotten some can foods and instant noodles so that I could fill my kitchen cabinets. Yet, the question I had asked from this morning was not answered. What is wrong with Kai? She was different. I noticed that she had even dressed up differently.
"Rukawa-san… Are we ever getting that fridge?" We? Did she say we?
"Hn." I continue to watch her as she started to chop the vegetables.
"Why don't the both of us get one after lunch?" she asked, concentrating on the vegetables.
"Okay…" There was an uncomfortable silence in the air. I do not enjoy it at all. This was not the Erizawa Kai I know. "Kai, is there something wrong?" She shook her head and smiled at me.
"You're not the type who would understand," she giggled.
"Understand what?"
"Love," her smile grew broader. Love? I heard of it before. I've never experienced it though. Never. But still… it's something I would like to have, to understand. What is love then? You always ask questions to answers you never understand.
"Make me understand it," I said out loud. Kai looked at me, thinking I was asking her to. She reached out for my hand and grasped it. Looked into my eyes and smiled at me. The angel's smile…
"It's something everyone understands on their own," she whispered," I can't make you understand, Rukawa-san." She was so close to me right now. I smelled her perfume, felt her hot breath, my eyes looking into her amber orbs. The familiar warmth surrounded her, like an aura. What is this feeling? You always ask questions to answers you never understand. I want to understand. I will understand.
I lie on my bed, feeling the frustration sink in. I know this feeling is good but what is it? What is it? I sat up, staring out at the moon. I thought about Kai. Is she safe? Will she be alright? Will the report turn out good? I sighed and closed my eyes, only to see the image of her smiling face, her brown hair blown by the wind, her beautiful ocher eyes sparkling… The Kai I know. I want to see her smile like that, always. Never sad. Never hurt. My eyes snapped open as I heard ringing. My phone. Who would even have my number except…??
"Mushi, mushi…" I drawled.
"Rukawa-san…" It was Kai, as expected. "I collected my report today," she continued," I'm alright. I didn't get pregnant. There weren't any strains of viruses either." I sighed in relief. Thank god.
"Yokatta…" I muttered.
"I thought I'd tell you," she said," I knew you were worried." Worried? When did I ever get worried? "Rukawa-san," she mumbled," if I told you something… Nah, forget it. Anyway, thanks for being there for me."
"Aa… Doumo," I muttered into the phone. I wish I were there with her at this moment.
"Ah! We forgot to get that fridge!" she exclaimed," I'll stop by tomorrow morning for breakfast, okay?"
"Kai… you don't have to."
"It's okay… I want to. You get some sleep and I'll see you at eight."
"Hai," I muttered before hanging up. I then crawled onto my bed, finally able to get some sleep.
"Rukawa-san, do you like bagels?" Kai asked.
"Huh?" I muttered, snapping from my daydream. Kai glared at me, arms akimbo.
"I said 'do you like bagels?'" I nodded, looking around again. It's just way too early for this. I stifled a yawn. Kai went to order some more food.
"Kai… isn't that too much?" She shook her head.
"I have a monster appetite," she explained. I rolled my eyes and pointed to her waist.
"Explains the hips," I drawled. She gave me a bored look and tapped her foot.
"Rukawa-san…" she muttered. The salesgirl giggled.
"The both of you are such a cute couple," she commented. What? A couple? I felt my face become hot.
"Iya… we're just friends!" Kai stated as she took the bag of what's supposed to be breakfast.
"You two have such great chemistry together. It's like you're in love, or something," the salesgirl went on. In love? I wanted to pull Kai away.
"Nah… Rukawa-san's not the type…" Kai went, hugging the big bag," I don't think he's even interested." She walked off from the counter and grabbed my hand. "Let's go."
I noticed that throughout the journey back, Kai did not say anything. She dipped her head low most of the time and kept on sighing. Something's wrong… When we were in my apartment, she kept quiet and served breakfast.
"Kai… what's wrong?" I asked. I wonder if I sound concerned. Kai shook her head. "You're too quiet."
"It's just that… I was thinking," she mumbled," if what that salesgirl said…" I remembered. Us, a couple. That comment about me not being interested hurt. Kai, how would you know?
"What about it?" I muttered, grabbing a croissant.
"Nothing… "
"Kai…" I grabbed her hand and lifted her chin, forcing eye contact. I saw the confusion in her eyes. My heart thumped. My mind wondering what I am doing… My lips brushed against her soft ones before I pressed them together. I felt her tension fade away from her body. I felt my coldness being destroyed by her warmth. We kissed ever so briefly but it was enough. I gently pushed her back, gazing into her eyes again. Finally, I understood what I should. This is love. I did not have to tell her anything. If she knows me well, my actions speak louder than my words. I did not know who started the next kiss but it grew into a passion that I've never experienced before. Before I knew it, I was in bliss.
I woke up, unclothed, on my bed, knowing what had happened. Kai and me. I turned to the other side, seeing Kai sleeping. She was an angel. I pecked her on the cheek before covering myself with my clothes. I went out of my room and cleaned up the table where we were supposed to have breakfast. I checked the clock on the wall. It was noon. Kai would be up soon, with her 'monster' appetite. I smiled to myself. I was in love.
~~~~~~~~Several Years Later~~~~~~~~
"She's bleeding internally," the doctor explained," in any time she could drop into critical condition." It does not take medical know-how to understand what he meant. My Kai was dying. "She knew about it before birthing the baby," the doctor continued.
"Then why…?" I started. The doctor sighed.
"She said she wanted the child to live."
I watched Kai, as weak as she is, placed our daughter back into the cot with the help of a nurse, who took her back to the baby's ward. I walked in then, when everything was clear.
"Kaede…" she mumbled, her head bent low. I sat at the edge of the bed, staring at her state, trying not to cry.
"You're very mean," I muttered, trying to sound as cold as possible.
"Aa, I know…" She whispered with a small sad smile.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because you'd stop me," she went before reaching out for my face. My tears flowed down my cheeks. I could not hold them for much longer. "Kaede, please let her live without a trace of the nightmare we've faced," she mumbled, her face glistening. I could only nod, overlapping my hand with hers on my face. This pain was harder to bear. "I want you to name her 'Hikari' for me," she continued," so that her life would be filled with light." She started sobbing into my chest, like she always had. I held her close as we cried together.
"I've always loved you, Kaede," she whispered in my ear.
"Please, don't go," I pleaded," don't leave us… Kai."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ten years had past since Kai had passed away. I held my daughter's hand as we walked towards Kai gravestone. It read,' Rukawa Kai, the Angel on Earth.' She had always been that way. An angel, mistreated. I was to blind to notice… I watched as my daughter placed a fresh batch of flowers on the grave before the both of us silently prayed to Kai.
"Papa," she whispered quietly," what was mama like?" I looked at her. She was the exact replica of her mother, only with long raven hair. Her only trait she had from me. I smiled at her, staring into the innocent ocher orbs.
"She was an angel. The light from the darkness of my life," I explained," like you, Hikari-chan." Hikari smiled, just like how her mother did. I could only smile back, before carrying her on my shoulder.
"Papa… Can I be as good an angel like mama was to you?" Hikari asked.
"Aa… you'd be better than mama was," I told her before we left the graveyard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~END~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
