She Didn't Have Time
He said goodbye from the edge of the porch
Like she'd been some casual friend
He said, "You're better off without me, I'm not what you need"
Like her mama had said about him
Ellie Nash stood at the door watching as her boyfriend Craig Manning walked away from her. Down the stairs of the porch, to his car with the last of his bags, he took one final glance at Ellie.
"I can't believe you're doing this Craig! What about us?"
"This is my big shot, I need to go on this tour. You'll be better off without me. I haven't been what you needed in a long time, you deserve better."
As she watched him shove his bags into the trunk his car, thinking about the argument she had with her mother three years prior.
"Eleanor, this boy is no good. You deserve better than him, he's not what you need. You can't depend on him. All Craig cares about is his music and himself. He'll only bring you pain!"
"No mom! I love Craig and he is what I need! You just don't understand, you don't know how much he loves me! I'm leaving and I'm going to Vancouver with Craig!" Ellie shouted at her mother before walking out of the house.
If only she'd known how stupid she was being three years ago. At seventeen years old what did she know? If only she'd listened to her mother she wouldn't be going through this pain right now. Her mother was right, she didn't mean anything to Craig. All Craig cared about was his music and himself, she wished she didn't have to learn that lesson the hard way.
He started the car, pulled out of the drive
Didn't waste any time lookin' back
She watched him go, thinkin' even a stranger
Would show more compassion than that
Watching him speed down the road, so many thoughts were running through Ellie's mind. What was she going to do now? The man she loved was gone. Where did that leave her? Was that all he had to say to her? "This is my big shot"? What a selfish bastard! How could she have ever fallen for him? But the main thought running through her mind was how little compassion Craig showed her when he left. He treated her as if she were a stranger. No, a stranger would have been more kind than he had.
She could have cried, but she didn't have time
She had a baby to feed, a pink blanket to find
To rock their little one to sleep
Ellie had tears in her eyes as she leaned against the doorway watching Craig's car disappear. She stood there feeling numb and not knowing what to do with herself. Just as she was wondering what to do a loud cry came from the living room. Ellie jumped at the sound and ran into her house. She ran to the bassinet in the living room and picked up the crying baby.
"Shhh baby it's ok. Mama's gonna get your bottle" Ellie said as she walked into the kitchen to prepare the bottle for the baby.
The baby's screams continued to get louder as Ellie was trying to stop her from crying and fix a bottle at the same time.
"It's ok Maddie I'm almost done. Please stop crying, please."
Ellie quickly put the bottle in the microwave to heat up for Maddie. Finally the microwave stopped and Ellie took the bottle and walked over to the rocking chair. She slowly rocked as she fed her daughter. The rythym of the rocking chair caused Maddie to fall back asleep mid feeding.
She could have laid in bed for hours
Givin' misery the power
But she didn't have time
Ellie lay in bed that night thinking about what she was going to do. She had absolutely no clue what to do now that Craig was gone. He left her in a horrible position. Here she was at twenty years old and a single mother. Finally after a while sleep gave way. Morning came around soon and she really wanted to stay in bed. She took a deep breath and closing her eyes she slowly let it out. Throwing off the blanket she swung her legs out the bed until her feet hit the floor. She got out of bed to start her day. She had a duaghter that needed her and she most definitely did not have time to cry over Craig Manning, she had more important things than him. Her daughter was all she had, she were her life.
She got a sitter, and she got a job
'Cause she had a promise to keep
Her day was a factory and evening survival
And night was exhaustion and sleep
After packing up all her things Ellie loaded her car and moved with Maddie back to her hometown of Toronto. She got settled in quickly and after a few days of looking for sitters for Maddie, she finally found one she was comfortable with. Luckily she did have enough in her bank account to last for about a month. Hopefully it wouldn't take her that long to find a job.
It only took Ellie a week to find a job. Her job was at the local factory in town. It was long hours but it was work and Ellie needed to work for her and Maddie to survive. Ellie worked six days a week from seven A.M. until six P.M. She hated being away from Maddie so much, she was used to being a stay at home mom. But, she had a promise to keep that she made to Maddie. That promise was that she would take care of her no matter what and that she would do whatever it took to take care of her. In the evenings where she got home from work was her time to spend with Maddie. After eating, feeding Maddie then putting her to bed she would shower and the finally pour herself into bed exhausted from the long day. Months like this passed by then those months turned into years. Years of working somewhere she hated just to be able to survive and make sure her daughter had everything she needed.
Sometimes she felt like life was passin' her by
And watchin' was all she could do
Her friends said, "You gotta get outta the house
And maybe you'll meet someone new"
Now at the age of twenty-five Ellie felt like life was passing her by sometimes. She loved Maddie with all her heart and wouldn't trade her for anything in the world. But sometimes she felt like she was missing out on a lot of things. She would sit back and look at all of her friends dating and having a good time. Some of her friends were even falling in love and getting married. That would never be her, Craig crushed those dreams when he left five years ago.
One night she was sitting at the kitchen table in her best friend Manny Santos's house. She had been there for a few hours talking with Manny and their other best friend Mia Jones-Mason. The three girls had been best friends since grade seven and had never grown apart.
"Ellie you should come out with us tomorrow night. You never come out with us" Manny said.
"Manny, you know I can't. I have Maddie. I spend enough time away from her during the day. Going out just isn't an option" Ellie sighed.
"Oh come on El. It would be good for you to have a break. Maybe you might even meet someone!" Mia chimed in.
"Meet someone? You've got to be joking" Ellie replied making a face.
"No, she's not joking. We've been talking El. You need to get back out there, find someone. It's been five years since Craig left. Not all guys are like him Ellie."
"Spinner has this friend, Jimmy Brooks, he's really cute and sweet. We could hook you up with him. I think you would make a great match" Mia said of her husband Spinner's friend.
"Ha! You want me to go on a date with a friend of Spinner's? Mia, you know I love Spinner dearly but come on! Do you really think I'd trust his judgement in guys I should date?" Ellie laughed.
"Ok, fine if you won't trust Spinner and Mia's choice, Sean has this friend J.T. Yorke who is really funny and cute and…" Manny was cut off.
"Manny, seriously? Again, you know I love Sean but he's the one who hooked me up with Craig."
"I know he did and believe me he still feels horrible about that Ellie" Manny said of her fiancee Sean.
Spinner Mason and Sean Cameron were two of Ellie's best friends. She trusted them a lot but trusting them in the guy department she would not do.
She could have tried, but she didn't have time
She had a five year old to feed
She had ballet class, piano lessons and T-ball little league
"I know he does Manny. And I've told him time and time again that it's not his fault. How could he know the kind out person Craig would turn out to be or what he would do? But I'd just rather not be hooked up on dates ok? Besides guys," Ellie turned to look at Maddie who was watching T.V. in the living room, "when would I have the time to date anyone? I work six days a week. When I get home from work I have to usher Maddie off to ballet class or piano lessons or, oh and this is new, t-ball. My daughter has decided among the other lessons she has she wants to play t-ball."
Mia laughed. "Ah, the over achiever just like her mother."
"Then once we're home I have to cook for us, we eat, I make sure her school work is done, bathe her and get her to bed. By the time all that is done I'm dead tired. Oh and by the way, did I mention who would want to date a single mother?" Ellie continued her rant.
"Ellie, lots of guys would love to date you. You're smart, funny, hot" Manny said.
"I'm also a twenty-five year old woman with a five year old daughter. No guy my age wants that. They want a single woman who has no baggage. My daughter is part of the package."
"Ellie, just think about it. I hate seeing how lonely you are, and don't deny that you are cause we know you are. Manny and I just want to see you happy" Mia tried again.
"Guys, I just really don't have the time. Can we please just drop the subject?"
"Fine, ok, whatever you want" Manny said.
"Look, I've gotta go, it's way past Maddie's bedtimes. I'll see you guys Saturday for the dress fitting.
"Ok, and don't be late! Don't forget Sean is going to watch Maddie while you do your dress fitting" Manny demanded.
"Ok Bridezilla!" Ellie quipped.
Manny gave Ellie her most evil look at being called this.
"I forgot Sean was watching Maddie. She's going to love that. Cause she loves her Uncle Seany don't you Maddie" Ellie said ignoring Manny's glare.
"Uncle Seany! Uncle Seany! Can he take me to the park Mommy?" Maddie said getting excited.
"If Uncle Sean wants to, which he will cause he spoils you, that's fine with me" Ellie laughed.
"Come and give Aunt Manny a hug and kiss Sweet Pea" Manny said holding out her arms and calling Maddie by her nickname.
Maddie ran into Manny's arms and kissed Manny on the cheek as she wrapped her little arms around Manny's neck and squeezed tight.
"Ok, my turn Sweet Pea" Mia said stretching her arms out to Maddie.
"Aunt Mia" Maddie squealed as Mia swung her around.
"Ok Sweet Pea, it's way past your bedtime so we better get home. Tell your aunts goodnight."
"Night Aunt Manny, night Aunt Mia. I love you" Maddie beamed.
"I love you too" Manny and Mia replied at the same time.
"Night guys" Ellie said as she walked out of the door.
She could have laid awake for hours
Givin' lonely nights the power
But she didn't have time
Later that night after bathing Maddie and putting her to sleep and then having a shower herself, Ellie lay in bed. She let her thoughts drift off to what Mia and Manny said. They were right, it had been five years since Craig left. Maybe it was time to find someone, she was lonely after all. No, she quickly admonished herself. She didn't have time to be lonely and she didn't have time to find someone to date. She quickly pushed the thoughts of loneliness out of her head. Maddie. Maddie is all she needs. Maddie is all she has time for.
Not time, where would she find the time to trust a man again
Not time, for that flat tire, a crowded parking lot
"Damn it, damn it, damn it!" Ellie shouted out in frustration.
Ellie put her face in her hands and sighed. She was tired, it took too long in the dress shop, she was running late to pick up Maddie and now she was pissed. The parking lot was crowded but no one in this damn parking lot would be nice enough to help. No, no one could be nice to a stranger. Walking past her and staring at her would fix her fucking tire!
"Stupid fucking tire!" Ellie cursed then kicked the tire. Then she winced cause she hurt her foot kicking the tire.
"You know, kicking the tire won't fix it" Ellie heard a deep voice say.
She whipped around to see where the voice was coming from. She saw a tall guy with dark hair standing behind her.
"Yes, I know that. Neither will cursing at it or staring at it. If any of that fixed it I'd have been out of here fifteen minutes ago. I REALLY do not have time for this!" Ellie blushed, embarrassed at being caught doing something so stupid.
"Well, since you just said you've been here for fifteen minutes I'm guessing you need some help" the guy chuckled.
"Help. Yes, I could definitely use some help. I don't know how to change a tire" Ellie admitted as her cheeks turned a darker red.
"Well, what do you know? I happen to know how to change a tire."
"I have everything I need to change it. I just don't know how. Guess I should've learned huh?"
"If you show me where the spare tire and everything else is I wouldn't mind changing it for you" the guy offered.
"Oh my God thank you so much! You're a life saver" Ellie smiled.
Ellie quickly showed the guy where everything was and he changed her tire within a few minutes.
"There you go, all fixed" the guy said standing up and brushing his hands off on his jeans.
"I can't thank you enough! You're such a life saver, really!" Ellie exclaimed.
"It's not a problem, I just fixed your tire. It's really not a big deal."
"Well, it is for me, thank you um… I'm sorry I never got your name" Ellie replied.
"Jay. Jay Hogart. And you are?"
"Ellie Nash. Nice to meet you Jay Hogart."
And then not time, but yes, have coffee with the man that got her tire fixed
"You too Ellie. Hey, would you like to grab a cup of coffee?"
Ellie looked at the guy. He did change her tire and he seems like a niced guy. But she didn't have time for this, she had to pick up Maddie and take her to T-ball practice. On the other hand she was really tired and she could definitely use a cup of coffee. Suddenly she realized that Jay was looking at her expecting an answer.
"Oh, um sorry, yeah, a cup of coffee sounds great. I could surely use one" Ellie fumbled out.
"Great. I sure could use a cup myself. It's been a long day so far" Jay smiled.
"Do you mind if I meet you in the coffee shop? I have to make a quick phone call" Ellie questioned glancing at the coffee shop.
"Yeah that's fine. What kind of coffee do you want? I can order it for you while you make your call."
"Um, a tall caramel-vanilla latte" Ellie answered.
Ellie watched as Jay walked into the coffee shop before she took out her cellphone. She dialed a familiar number and waited for someone to answer.
"Hello?"
"Sean, hi it's Ellie."
"How's Maddie? Is she being good?"
"Of course my Sweet Pea is being good. She's always good for her Uncle Seany."
"I have a favor to ask" Ellie bit her lip.
"What's the favor?" Sean questioned.
"I'm running late, would you mind taking Maddie to her T-ball practice? I can pick her up there. You won't have to stay, I can call my friend Christy. Her daughter is on the same team and she can keep an eye on her till I get there."
"Ellie, don't rush yourself I'll take her to practice and I'll stay there, you can pick her up here after. You could use some time to yourself. Ok?" Sean said.
"Ok Sean. Thank you so much" Ellie smiled.
"Don't mention it" Sean said before hanging up.
Ellie quickly flipped her phone shut then walked to the coffee shop. When she walked in she looked around for Jay. She saw him sitting at a corner table walked up to meet him. Jay smiled at her when she sat down and he handed her coffee to her. Ellie took a sip and closed her eyes as the warm liquid went down her throat.
"Mmm. Thank you so much Jay. How much do I owe you for the coffee?"
"You're welcome. You don't owe me anything, it's my treat" Jay replied.
"You fixed my tire, I should've bought you coffee."
"Ellie don't worry about it. I invited you for coffee. So, tell me about yourself."
"Well as you know, my name is Ellie Nash. I'm twenty-five. I work at the factory in town. But, I'm trying to find a new job so that I can go to University too."
"Oh really? What do you want to study?"
"Journalism. I've always loved to write. It's my passion. So, what about you Jay Hogart?"
"Me? I'm twenty-six and I'm a mechanic. Not much to know about me, what you see is what you get. I'm a pretty simple guy" Jay replied.
She was thinkin', "Gosh he's handsome,"
When he asked, "do you have kids?"
Ellie and Jay talked for a few more minutes about simple things. Ellie fidgeted with her coffee cup. 'Man, Jay is hot' she thought to herself and it caused her to blush.
"Do you have kids Ellie?" Jay questioned her bringing her out of her thoughts.
This questioned startled Ellie. 'Shit, we were having such a good time' she thought.
She could have lied, but she didn't have time
All she said was "She's five." He said, I saw the car seat, I love kids, does she have your eyes?"
Ellie lowered her gaze and replied "She's five".
Ellie looked back up, meeting Jay's eyes. She fully expected him to make some quick excuse to leave. But he was smiling at her.
"I saw the car seat when I was changing your tire."
"Ah, ok. So, I guess you want to leave now?" Ellie questioned feeling disasppoionted.
"What? No. Why would you think that I want to leave?" Jay asked bewildered.
"Because I'm a single mom."
"So what? That doesn't matter to me. I love kids Ellie. My sister Alex and her girlfriend Paige have two kids. A boy that's three and a girl that is one."
"Really? You love kids?" Ellie questioned sounding shocked.
"Yes really. I spoil Spencer and Gabi all the time. Alex and Paige yell at me all the time about how much I spoil them. But what can I say? I love those little monsters and they love their Uncle Jay Jay."
Ellie laughed "I know what it's like to be the mother of a spoiled child. Don't get me wrong, she's a good child but very spoiled. It's all thanks to my friends. She loves her Aunt Mia and Manny and Uncle Seany and Spinner. Sean nick named her Sweet Pea when she was a baby and it's stuck. So, needless to say, I think my daughter will be sixteen and still be called Sweet Pea. And her two uncles are very protective so they'll be scaring off all the boys."
"I know the feeling of being protective. Gabi better not date until she's thirty. And even then I'll be there with a shot gun" Jay said with a straight face.
"Oh your poor, poor niece."
"So, what's Sweet Pea's real name? Does she have your beautiful eyes?" Jay questioned becoming serious.
Ellie looked down quickly so Jay couldn't see the blush quickly creeping up her cheeks. She dug through her purse to find her pictures of Maddie.
"Her name is Madilyn Elizabeth but we call her Maddie. And this is her" Ellie said handing a few pictures of Maddie.
"She does have your eyes. And she's beautiful just like her mother. She looks just like you except the dark hair" Jay complimented Ellie.
Ellie turned red again. She was not used to compliments or flirting.
And they sat and talked for hours
Givin' destiny its power
Jay and Ellie sat in the coffee shop getting to know each other and flirting. It was two hours before Ellie realized what time it was.
"Oh my gosh! I didn't realize how late it is! I've got to go pick Maddie up from Sean and Manny's house" she said quickly getting up and gathering her things.
"Ok, well, I'll walk you to your car" Jay said standing up as well.
"Oh no Jay, you don't need to do that."
"I know that but I want to, ok?" Jay smiled.
"Ok" Ellie smiled back.
They walked in silence back to Ellie's car. Both lost in their own thoughts.
"So…" Ellie said when they reached her car.
"Would you like to go on a date with me next weekend?" Jay questioned.
Ellie looked up at Jay and smiled.
"Yeah, I'd really like that."
Jay smiled back at Ellie. They stood there for a few minutes before Jay got Ellie's number and promised to call her the next morning. Jay was such a gentleman, he opened the car door for Ellie.
"Bye" Ellie said.
"Bye" Jay replied, closed her car door and watched her drive away.
She could've been afraid to fall in love that night
But she didn't have time
When Jay was out of sight she dialed Manny and Sean's number.
"Hello?"
"Manny, hey it's me."
"Ellie, where are you?" Manny questioned.
"I'm sorry I'm running so late. Sean told me to take my time but I didn't realize how late it was" Ellie apologized.
"Oh no! It's fine, you do deserve time to yourself. I'm just surprised you haven't picked Sweet Pea up yet cause you're such a freak about "burdening" us for too long."
"Ok, well I'm on my way. You should call Mia, I've got to talk to both of you."
"Uh-oh, what's wrong El?" Manny panicked.
"Nothing! Nothing's wrong. I met a guy."
Ellie had to pull the phone away from her ear because Manny squealed so loud.
"Oh my God! I can't believe it! Finally! Hurry up and get your ass here, I need details. I have to call Mia now! Bye."
Ellie laughed as Manny hung up on her. Manny and Mia would grill her for details. She had to admit, she was excited and she couldn't wait to tell them about Jay. Ellie could've been afraid to start something with Jay, she could be afraid to trust a guy again. She could be afraid to possibly fall in love again. She could be afraid he'd turn out to be like Craig, she could be afraid of a lot of things. But, she didn't have time, something had already started. She found a guy her age that she had things in common with. He was smart, funny and hot. But the best thing about him was that he loves kids. Yes, something was definitely happening between Ellie Nash and Jay Hogart.
She could've been afraid to fall in love that night
But she didn't have time
