Title: I'll Be There

Pairing: Sirius/Harry

Summary: Sirius visits Harry in a dream after his death, to the song: "I'll Be There", Escape Club. Slash.


"No!"

Harry watched, horror struck, as Sirius fell back through the viel in the Department of Mysteries. Up until the very last second, Sirius had been laughing. The spirit of adeventure had been alight in his eyes, his stance challenging as he faced off with his cousin, his expression blazing with excitement and happiness. He had been so glad to be away from the house, to be part of the action...

And then Bella's spell had struck him. Harry had only been able to watch, unbeleving, as shock replaced the merriment on Sirius' face. Had be thought himself invinsible? Even as Sirius had fallen backwards- as if in slow motion – Harry had leapt forward. Everything else was forgotten – his only goal was to get to his Godfather, to catch him, to stop him from going through. And if he couldn't stop it... he would go in after him.

But someone was holding him back. Strong arms wrapped around his waist, as unbreakable as any chain. He struggled uselessly, screaming out, crying mindlessly, his hands reaching out towards Sirius, even as the older man vanished through the viel of purple.

"He's gone, Harry." Someone was saying. The other voice was broken, pained. But it was lying. Sirius could NOT be gone.


In his sleep, Harry turned over restlessly, crying out softly even now as the memories washed over him. In the past week since Sirius' death, he had slept little, spoken less. He'd barely eaten and moved through life like a zombie. He felt numb – as if it hadn't really sunk it, yet, that Sirius was gone. As if he still believed it just couldn't be true. He relieved that night at the Department of Mysteries every night – over and over. And during the day he carried the fierce and terrible guilt of knowing he was responsible for the death of the one he loved...

Harry fell back into dreams, but as he did he realized that something was different. He was not at the Department of Mysteries. This was a diffferent dream, something new...


Harry was standing outside, on the Hogwarts grounds, and dawn was starting to break over the horizon. He stood beside the lake, apparently alone, watching the beautiful play of colors across the sky and in the reflection of the still, peaceful water. If he closed his eyes, he could feel the gentle breeze, hear the distant bird song. Then, he heard something else. A quiet footstep. He opened his eyes, turned. And froze.

"Sirius..."

He fall-lunged, half-fell forward, and Sirius caught him in his arms, hugging him tightly to his chest. Harry knew it was a dream, even as he felt the other mans arms around him, and smelled his unique scent of cologne and dog. He began to cry, quietly, pressing his face into Sirius' chest. Sirius seemed content to stand there, for the time being.

Eventually, as Harry's tears began to quiet, Sirius lifted Harry in his arms, as if he were a child, and walked to a large tree along the bank of the lake, settling down with his back against the bark and Harry in his lap. Harry spoke, his voice shaking with pain.

"Why are you doing this?"

Sirius seemed to understand. Seeing Sirius again was all that Harry wanted. But this was torture, knowing it was all a dream, knowing he would wake and Sirius would still be dead.

"I never got to say goodbye," Sirius whispered, his voice hoarse. "I never got to tell you..." His voice trailed off, and for the first time, Harry heard it laced with uncertaintly.

He glanced up into his godfather's face. "Tell me what?" He asked quietly.

"H-How much I love you. And not just in the way a godfather loves his godson. Deeper, then that."

Harry went still, and Sirius took his reaction the wrong way, pulling Harry closer and hiding his face in Harry's neck, his voice slightly pleading.

"I know it's wrong, Harry, for me to care about you that way. But...I do. I always have. I always will."

Harry pulled away, just enough to look into Sirius' face. He could hardly believe this was happening. He was smiling, though tears still poured down his cheeks. "It's not wrong." He said, a little anxiously. "I... I love you too."

Sirius searched his expression, apparently realizing what Harry was telling him. He pulled Harry closer yet again, bringing his lips down to Harry's for a passionate kiss that left Harry trembling.

"We were such fools..." Sirius murmured.

Harry knew what he meant. So much time had been wasted... They had only found the courage to admit their love for each other after Sirius' death. More tears fell, and Harry curled into Sirius' chest, staring out at the water. Sirius tightened his arms around the smaller boy and rested his head against Harry's. They stayed like that, in silence, for a while. Contemplating.

Finally, Sirius' gentle voice began to whisper in Harry's ear, singing quietly, softly. Singing of promises and of love, and of what came after death.

over Mountains

over Trees

over Oceans

over Seas

across the desert

I'll be there

in a whisper on the wind

on the smile of a new friend

just think of me

And I'll be there

Don't be afraid, oh my love

I'll be watching you from above

And I'd give all the world tonight,

to be with you

Because I'm on your side,

And I still care

I may have died,

but I've gone nowhere

Just think of me,

And I'll be there

On the edge of a waking dream

over Rivers

over Streams

through Wind and Rain

I'll be there

Across the wide and open sky

thousands of miles I'd fly

to be with you

I'll be there

Don't be afraid, oh my love

I'll be watching you from above

And I'd give all the world tonight,

to be with you

Because I'm on your side,

And I still care

I may have died,

but I've gone nowhere

Just think of me,

And I'll be there

In the breath of a wind that sighs

oh, there's no need to cry

Just think of me,

And I'll be there

Harry understood why Sirius had chosen this song, these words. He could not stay on this Earth with Harry, could not be by his side, could not kiss him or hug him or help him fight his battles, but he would be there, in everything he did and everywhere he went. Watching over him, taking care of him. Loving him.

And Harry would be here on Earth. Forced to live life without Sirius, to go through the motions of truly living, though his heart had died that day at the Department of Mysteries, just as surely as Sirius had.

Now, Sirius cradeled Harry's face in his hands, and pressed his lips to Harry's.

"Promise me." He whispered. "You will not grieve for me. I cannot stand to see you in pain. I want you to live. To remember what good times we did have together, even if they were few. Promise me, Harry."

"I will try." Harry whispered, choaked, his voice shaking. "I promise I will try."

Sirius rested his forehead on Harry's.

"It's not going to be long you know." Harry said quietly.

Sirius' eyes shot to his, questioning.

"I won't be here much longer."

"Don't say that."

"It's true." Harry's eyes were calm, certain, accepting. "My life is not meant to be long. In the end... we will destroy each other. That is how it's supposed to be."

Sirus bent his head again, and tears trickled down his cheeks. "I will wait for you." He whispered. "I will be there for you."

"I love you." Harry replied.

"I love you too..."

Harry closed his eyes, and darkness fell around them. When he opened them again, he was in his own bed, at Hogwarts, and dawn was still breaking in the sky. Standing, he crossed to his window and stared out at the grounds.

And he was almost certain he saw a black dog vanish into the shadows of the oak tree by the lake.