Jayne Cobb has done a lot of stupid things in his life. This though, this is the absolute number one. Because when a gorram psychic tells you to duck, you fuckin' duck.

"Stupid." Jayne glares at the girl in the doorway as he clutches the makeshift rags to his side. It's the first time in a while that he can't think of a thing to say. Instead he grunts.

Simon comes bustling through the infirmary door, all calm demeanor and surgical detachment and Jayne welcomes it. Anything to take his attention away from the haunting darkness of River's eyes.

"What happened?"

"I got shot." Simon gives him a long suffering gaze before he starts to prod gently at the entry wound. The action earns a hiss from the mercenary.

"I can see that." He moves his hands to the back, searching for the hard lump of metal. "The bullet went straight through."

Jayne snorts. "Coulda told you that." The large man has been shot more than enough times to assess his own gunshot wounds. He doesn't need a gorram doctor to tell him anything but when he'll be up and running.

"Stupid Jayne." River is still staring at him, those deep eyes accusing him and he doesn't like it.

"River, I don't think..." Simon begins.

She ignores him.

"Stupid, stupid Jayne." Her tone is somewhere between mocking and tearful. She steps forward, her heavy boots barely registering as she glides closer. "Eyes sharp like a tiger but I can see things even the sky can't. Sheppard to guide the flock to safety, but who, stupid Jayne, will watch over you?"

"I ain't stupid. Watch over myself just fine." River lets out an undignified snort. She flicks her eyes to Simon's hands, the needle and thread piercing and pulling through skin. Glances back to his face. "Says the big bad wolf with his insides on the out."

He knows she's goading him so he clenches his teeth and tries to pretend she's not there.

"You trust me, don't ya?" She says, a perverse mimicry of his accent.

Jayne doesn't like it. Not a gorram bit.

"Girl..." He grinds out. Simon casts him a confused look.

"I ain't gonna let no one get shot. My job is to shoot the bad guys before they shoot us, dong ma?"

It wasn't so long ago that they'd been planet side and gotten waist deep in go se. They'd been separated from Zoe and Mal and there were at least ten armed men between them and serenity. She was panicking, running through a hundred different scenarios, almost all of them resulting in at least one casualty. Jayne was too big, couldn't sneak past all of those men unnoticed. And the Captain, well, he didn't know how to keep his mouth shut long enough to not get shot. She tries to explain this to him in numbers and calculations, explain to him the infinite probabilities but when she looks at him, he's glaring at her so she shuts up and glares back. Once her brain settles and she starts to focus, she gave way to the awe as she stared up at the big bad mercenary.

Because despite what she knew, Jayne didn't have a doubt in his mind that he could get her back, get them all back to the ship relatively unharmed. In that moment, River Tam understood something tantamount to the being that was Jayne Cobb. He took his job very seriously. Jayne had a job to do and a promise to keep and personal feelings got shoved under the proverbial rug until it was done. As long as she trusted him, he'd get her home.

She blinks slowly, the room coming back into focus around her.

"The door swings both ways, Jayne Cobb." He opens his mouth to protest, let her know that he doesn't appreciate her tone, or the way his words fall from her mouth, that he doesn't need her damn help and that no, he doesn't trust people. Especially not mind-reading psychics. But that seems stupid, saying as if he had, he wouldn't have a gunshot wound to the abdomen.

The young woman in front of him lets a wide smile take over her face. Jayne scowls.

"Then we are in agreement?" Simon glances between his sister and the ship's hired gun, feeling like he's missed something, like he's standing in the middle of a private conversation.

"I ain't agreein' to nothin'." It's River's turn to scowl.

"Except." He clears his throat and Jayne just knows this is going to come back and bite him in the ass. He clears his throat and throws a sidelong glance at the doctor. He's stupid, but he ain't so stupid to pretend he didn't like the idea of not getting shot every time they went planet side. So he sucks it up and continues. "Except when a gorram feng le pyscho mind readin' genius tells me to duck..."

She cocks her head to the side, a quick look to her brother before her eyes find his again, a slow smirk turning up the corners of her mouth. Her voice is a perfect echo of his and his thoughts as she finishes the sentence.

"You fuckin' duck."

Simon's face is flushed purple as he spins around and River backs out of the room before he can even find the right words. The doctor glares in response to the deep rumbling emanating from the mercenary as he tries desperately not to laugh.