Hello, readers. I'm glad that you decided to take a look at my story. This is mainly centered around a lighthearted journey with occasional humorous brutal injury and scarring. I will put in references to other fics on this website, shows like Jake and Amir, and other things I find interesting, so let me know if you find any that I've hidden. Without further ado, I present to you… this.

Disclaimer: I honestly don't own anything, including The Legend of Zelda, so please don't sue me.


Link groggily opened his eyes and looked around, trying to recognize his surroundings. He saw the Clock Tower in front of him as he began to remember why he was lying in Clock Town. The hero noticed what sounded like hundreds of terrified villagers screaming in fear. He looked around him to see hundreds of terrified villagers screaming in fear and running away from the Clock Tower. Wondering why, he looked towards the landmark in question and saw the moon, its unnerving and honestly kind of rapey face missing from the massive rock. Upon closer inspection, the spherical body now looked like two broken moons… and now four… then about ten. Link squinted at it in confusion before his eyes widened that the moon was not multiplying, but simply exploding.

'Where am I?', He wondered as he familiarized himself with the road and houses around him. 'And why is the moon blowing up? I figured that when I killed Majora, it would just… I don't know, go back in the sky.' A few moments later, Majora flew out of the moon, but it was intercepted by the Happy Mask Salesman. The angry merchant jumped into the air and kicked the mask-demon into the side of the Clock Tower, causing it to begin to collapse. He then started pummeling Majora into the ground as moonrock shrapnel rained around them. This went on for several minutes before the HMS jumped out of the large crater he had created, with Majora's Mask strapped to the side of his large backpack.

"Tael! There you are!" Link's eyes were drawn away from the terrifying mask salesman as he heard Tatl calling out to her brother. He saw his small companion fly over to Tael, who was dragging the incapacitated Skull Kid through the rubble and raining rock fragments. "Thank goodness you're alright!" She called. The two glowing fairies flew together and… hugged? To the Hylian bystander, it just looked like two orbs of light bumping together.

"Link, thank you for freeing our friend from that evil mask!" Tael exclaimed.

'Wait… Tael is a guy? I assumed that all fairies were girls...' Link thought as Tatl and Tael flew down to sit on the downed Skull Kid's shoulders. 'Oh hey, Tatl… Tael. Tattletale! I just now got that!' Link laughed silently. Tael looked at him with a confused expression, as silent laughter usually makes someone look like he/she is choking to death.

"Is he alright?" Tael asked Tatl.

"Yeah, that's kinda just how he is," Tatl replied, looking at Link, who had a large smile on his face despite witnessing the moon explode and end hundreds of lives just minutes ago. After watching him for several minutes, she began to worry when she noticed that he didn't seem to be breathing or blinking. "Hey Link, I think that-" she was interrupted as he began to scream inaudibly and hide behind his shield. "Whoah, whoah, what the hell dude?!" She yelled. A small piece of the moon then fell from the sky, clipping the terrified boy's ear. This seemed to bring him out of his horrified trance; he stopped screaming and took a Red Potion™ seemingly out of nowhere. He applied it to his wounded ear, which stopped the bleeding but still left him without an earlobe.

"Okay, where did that potion come from?" Tael asked, "And what just happened?!"

"Nobody knows where he keeps all his stuff," Tatl replied. "As for that whole episode just then, I literally have NO idea." Link began to rub his hand over the dusty surface of the road that he was sitting on, smoothing the area. He then wrote two words in the dust with his finger: WATER TEMPLE.

"Right, Link told me about this once!" Tatl exclaimed in remembrance.

"Wait, he told you?" Tael interjected. "He doesn't talk much from what I've seen.

"Yeah, he wrote this whole story thing in the dust once. It took nineteen hours, and when he was done, a peddler rolled over it with a carriage. Anyway, he once went to this temple that was full of water."

At this, Tael feigned an expression of shock. "Whoah, really? The Water Temple is full of water?!" Tatl punched him out of the air.

"He was stuck in this temple for days, and it was full of poorly designed puzzles. He had to use these boots made of iron to sink to the bottom of the temple, but they only made him sink when he was wearing them, and they eventually got really rusty, like, to the point where he had to throw them away. It seemed pretty bad. So now, he has episodic, nightmarish flashbacks sometimes. I'd never seen it happen until now…" Tatl finished her story and Link nodded in confirmation.

"It sounds like he has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder." Tael commented after recovering from his fall.

"Pretty much."


After a day of looting the flaming and demolished homes of Clock Town's citizens, the foursome consisting of Link, Tael, Tatl, and the still unconscious Skull Kid decided to camp out in a crater surrounded by large pieces of the moon created by the violent explosion from earlier that day.

"We were in so many houses today, why are we sleeping in a crater without supplies or food?" Tatl questioned. She looked to Link for an answer, only to see him poking Skull Kid's closed eye. The imp didn't even move, despite the green-clad hero accidentally poking him too hard and caving his eye in.

"You know, this moon rock seems like a great portal conductor," Tael commented randomly.

"What does-" Tatl started.

"Anyway, bedtime!" Tael cut her off before going comatose immediately.

'Hmm… Hanging out with Skull Kid again was really fun…' Tatl pondered, glancing at the unmoving imp. 'Maybe I should stay with him for a while longer… Unless he's dead, which he actually might be. I haven't seen him move or anything since we met up with Tael. Oh well, any excuse to get away from Link...' Her eyes slowly closed as she drifted off to sleep.


The group- three members of the group awoke to the sound of citizens returning to their town and homes. The two fairies yawned and stretched while Link attempted to get up. He shot his Hookshot at a nearby hanging sign, but it dislodged and was pulled into his body at around 20 mph.

"We should probably leave the area before people start realizing that we stole their stuff," Tael remarked. Link nodded in agreement and jumped out of the crater.

"Speaking of leaving… Link, I've decided that it would be best if I stayed with Tael and Skull Kid," Tatl stated while glancing at the imp's flaccid body. "We've been on this quest for months, and-"

"It's only been like three days," Tael interjected, unaware of the Ocarina of Time's capabilities.

Tatl glared at the dark fairy before continuing. "Being with you has made me realize… that I don't like you that much." Link tilted his head in confusion. "Yeah, you aren't very smart. and you're actually not that great at playing the ocarina. It took you two hours to learn the Song of Soaring. And you would constantly play the Bolero of Fire when trying to learn other songs, which teleported us to some volcano. You also blink waaay too often. At first, I thought you were batting your eyelashes or something, but you just blink a lot. It's kind of scary." With each new critique and named flaw, Link's expression became sadder. He hung his head until he noticed that one of the large rocks in the crater was shifting. He tried to cry out and warn the fairies and Skull Kid, who was definitely dead at that point, but he remembered that he couldn't speak. In an instant, the rock had fallen, covering and ostensibly killing both fairies and mutilating Skull Kid's corpse.

'I have no idea what just happened,' Link thought, in a state of shock. Before the hero could reflect on what appeared to be the death of a close friend, he was approached by the Happy Mask Salesman.

"Hello there, Link. Would you like some caaandy?" The salesman asked, gesturing towards his large backpack. At this, Link began to vigorously shake his head in fear. The HMS looked very angry for a moment, but he quickly regained his composure. "Well, that's a shame. In that case, how would you like to be the proud owner of a cool mask?" He held up Majora's Mask.

'I feel like that mask is dangerous… Oh well!' Link smiled excitedly and threw ten silver rupees at the merchant, completely forgetting the evil power it contained.

"Actually, this mask is only 15 rupees!" The HMS explained, but Link just grabbed the possessed mask from his hands.

"DA DA DA DAAAAA!"

"What the hell?!" The HMS pulled a shiv from his pocket and waved it around. He soon realized that he wasn't in danger and put the weapon away. "What was that? Has that happened before?" The startled salesman asked Link. The hero simply shrugged and put his new mask on. Immediately afterward, the Hylian began to flail and attempt to pull the mask from his face, but it would not come off. After almost ten minutes of tugging at the evil artifact, it unlatched from Link's face and fell to the ground. The hero's entire face was painted red with blood, but after splashing a Red Potion™ on his injured skin, the blood evaporated into the atmosphere.

Wanting to appear cool, the hero threw a Deku Nut and attempted to escape while the HMS was blinded. Unfortunately, he forgot to look away and his vision flashed white. The HMS was unaffected, as he happened to be looking the other way.

Quickly recovering, Link stood up and realized that the Happy Mask Salesman was nowhere to be found. After grabbing Majora's Mask, he decided to use the Song of Soaring to visit the many landmarks he had encountered one last time before returning to his home in Hylian Kokiri Forest. Because of his novice ocarina skills, the hero promptly played the Bolero of Fire and warped to Death Mountain. Directly into a pool of lava. His final tour of Termina was quickly forgotten in favor of escaping the molten rock that he had fallen into. After lamely pulling himself out of the burning liquid, Link rolled around for several seconds before becoming , a pink fairy flew from Link's pocket. "What's going on up here?" She asked. "Oh no! This man is hurt! Is anyone here a doctor?" The fairy called to the empty volcano. "What will I- Oh! Oh Goddesses! Ah! AAAH!" The fairy screamed as she was torn in half by an invisible force. She continued screaming as the force tore her into pieces until she was separated into small dust particles. The other fairies in Link's numerous jars began to scream in terror as they witnessed the remains of their sister slowly drift onto Link's burnt corpse.

The resurrected hero sat up abruptly, gasping for air. All of his cuts and burns were gone; the fairy had unwillingly traded her life for his.

'That's much better!' Link thought happily before standing up. He located Death Mountain's exit and walked toward it, excited to see his native land for the first time in a debatable period.


There you have it, Chapter 1. I'm impressed you read the whole thing. Please let me know what I did well, what I could do better, and who your favorite Pokemon is. I'll see you next week.