Cotton rainbows. That was what Lawahiz Reine first saw on the trip; a boy with stripy, long socks with nearly all the colours of emotion in the sky's arch. Lawahiz Reine was so intriguingly blinded by this boy's ankle wear, sitting oppositely in front on the bus, she didn't notice the one sitting next to him. Lawahiz Reine was beautiful with almond, Arabic eyes that were so black you could fall in them forever and flowing dark hair with waves of a calm sea and tormented ripples. Because of her eyes her name suited her, as "glance" was exactly the opposite of what a person did when they saw her. Her body was petite and slender with snake hips from belly dancing. They slithered on their own to any beat as she could not control it in her blood. She knew everything of her ancestors and culture, and would dream in the Arabic language and become lost. The only thing Lawahiz received from her father was his sense of humour and French lips. It was not spoken by her tongue but was a necessity with in her family so she learnt it in school with a passion. Not to please her father but to take advantage of her blood. She was very comfortable in everything of herself, never afraid to be open and honest, but sometimes worried about the size of her femininities.
On the Sunday before going home to cure nostalgia (as ever), the music classes visited a museum of science and art. Many of the pupils could see the science in art but very few could see the art of science. Around Lawahiz were her piers pairing up with opposites. She noticed a good friend clenching hands with a male, as she did with many and so it lead to more. Lawahiz felt alone but she knew triumph would prevail in her poems and songs, even though she could not play a single instrument. Suddenly she felt her hand being whisked away. It was light and free. It was by a boy called Demitri Maeve. He was warm and entertaining from his Russian and Irish heritage, but as pale and as blonde as a Swede. His name meant "intoxicating", and that is what he was after several seconds around anyone. They sat together on the way home. Lawahiz's head rested on Demitri's shoulder, when finding out nothing about each other by speech but still a few questions were asked. While resting on Demitri's shoulder, Lawahiz noticed everything about him. She saw his thoughtful face that gave nothing away. She saw the imperfections on his nose which she embraced in to her heart. His hair flicked and flitted in every direction but still appeared perfect.
When the bus stopped in his town only a stare between them was goodbye. They took a mental picture of each others eyes. Then Lawahiz endured a plentiful gaze from the window as he left the surrounding, outside world. Her nature seemed normal and her girlfriends discussed the boys with maturity but amusement, the way each group of women do, but Lawahiz changed the subject every time Demitri's name was mentioned. For her core was shocked by a nameless thing she didn't understand.
In the bathroom at home her tears hit the water in the tub like the harshness of winter rain on top of puddles. In her diary she wrote everything she had memorized of him and that she loved him. How could someone love another human being they had only just known? It was a question that would haunt Lawahiz for months and even years. That night she slept in a sweater lathered in Demitri's enamoured smell so that his scent would hunt in her sinuses whilst she dreamt.
The two adolescents did not become of the boyfriend and girlfriend source straight away as they did not want labels being put on a blossoming friendship. For they both liked secrecy (they later learned). Everyday of the week was spent talking, listening, learning and surprising. The weekends were days of pure fun, and affection was always shown with food or rough gestures to begin with. Company was merely enjoyed then. Lawahiz and Demitri forgot their insecurities and thrived in honesty and pride. Demitri believed Lawahiz became more beautiful everyday and would stare for lengths of time that were inappropriate. He became poignant when they didn't talk for a certain amount of time.
The two met at the half way city between Lawahiz's and Demitri's own towns. They agreed it would be a platonic place as Demitri was not ready to commit his lips to another and even more so in case of ruining the moment. Lawahiz confessed she had already given hers to another which did not rock Demitri because of jealousy, but because of nervousness to getting nearer to being the best of a man.
It had been three months since the trip to London and it was now two days after Christmas. Like a stereotypical women Lawahiz was frustrated and wanted to see into the future. She finished a day of activities with Demitri and waited at the station with him for his train. The only thing that surrounded them was the pencil on paper gray concrete under their feet. It only disappeared when reaching the edge of the earth like an Arizona highway. The sky was gray also, as if in mourning. Lawahiz dived into a pool of unknown replies which on the surface, the word "no" was floating. She asked Demitri a hesitant question:
"Would you want to come to a club on New Years Eve?" Plenty of other nervous statements swirled around her brain but her mouth did not say them because it couldn't keep up. Demitri answered with a "yes".
Lawahiz's smile expanded up her face and her soul pulled her body up too. She didn't care about time (it was her nature) and did a selfish yet amazing thing for herself. She jumped and her rosebud lips took over to attach to Demitri's for just an exact second. He got on the train and shyly waved goodbye. Lawahiz turned and smiled like the sun.
They kissed always after that; in the middle of the street of the town whilst people hurried past as in fast motion, like they were the only two people in the reality of time; on the train of smooth movement until they realized they were being watched. Their heads tilted and their cheeks leaned on each other while they smiled at these strangers to show the feeling of being king and queen in a carriage of kissing. The picture house was always a popular place for Lawahiz and Demitri. Not just for a reason to kiss- there was always a reason. The picture house was for the dark, so they could be together in black reality but surrounded by actors. It was not intentional that they took minutes from looking at each other, but it was so when they saw each others faces and kissed again after those short interludes, a spark would pass and light up the darkness for an instant. They never believed that the flame would extinguish as if for lack of oxygen (nor did they even think of it, so not to tamper with fate). But they always replenished it to keep this fate happy and not to bring themselves to their own deaths.
One never had to wait for the other to kiss them. It was as if pre-destined; like their natural instinct told them it was the right time. It was always the right time. In winter it was not just for their hearts to keep warm but for physical warmth. The heat from their mouths sent a surge, as electricity travels through to heat a light bulb. Their black coats would glow like the redness of mars when the sun radiates on it. Walks on the beach were a time for the hands. Whilst their feet walked through the cool sea like a pair of couples, on a double date, Lawahiz's and Demitri's hands would hold each other and entwine for a special moment. The bodies would talk and absorb everything of each other. When the wind blew Demitri would inhale Lawahiz's scent naturally and his nose would turn every other smell into hers. Lawahiz's ears would welcome in the sound of Demitri's voice and lock it up in her brain like a prisoner so it would always be hers.
Dancing had become a favourite night activity for the twosome to do. It was the only time they spent with her friends. Jumana Caridad was Lawahiz's best friend of five years. They had met at school and delighted in the fact they were both half Arabic although Jumana couldn't speak the language. She was also half Spanish but could not speak that language either. She was short and round like a pearl. No-one ever knew what she was thinking especially Lawahiz. Lawahiz said nothing to anyone about the details of the sweet relationship she had with Demitri. Not even Jumana.
"I like him a lot" is all she would say to those who were rude enough to ask. Her feelings and words of love were only for her heart, and Demitri. She never spoke of their kisses to her friends. She did not know when but Lawahiz knew this boy was who she would give herself to. Only then would her heart reveal if it contained pure, perpetual adoration. Only then would Lawahiz reveal herself in body and soul and let her mouth speak for her heart. As she had been told by her mother who was a wise woman but poorly educated; this entity was true love and nothing else. It was the most beautiful thing to save and then share, but only in true love. Lawahiz did not know what this love was but trusted this boy completely. She knew she would never regret it if was not true love, because love is about learning.
Another of Lawahiz's friends was named Che Leocadia who was from Argentina but did not speak Spanish as she hated it. Lawahiz could not understand this. She was tall and stunning, bright like a light, who could seduce anyone, but only through means of aggression. She was meant to be a powerful queen who kept men in rooms so she could use them. But with this confidence and intimidation she had a kind laughter. Che Leocadia looked past Lawahiz's and Demitri's growing flower each time, as there was usually only one thing on her mind. A young male who was Che's older brother called Mosi accompanied them until his fellow bachelor's arrived. He had looked past Lawahiz every time she had noticed him, but he never broke her heart because it had not been born. This night however he looked at her differently. Not as an attraction, but for the first time he saw her as a human being who was a feminine woman. He saw her with mind and uterus. He no longer saw her as a snail in a shell. His revelation died down and he began to drink and think of past mistakes, especially to do with women.
The group was a normal social group, light-heartedly picking out each others faults and remembering stories of laughter; immature laughter. Suddenly but casually in unison, Lawahiz and Demitri felt it was their time to be alone. They made it to the dance floor for a ballad. It was unlike the romantic serenades of history, but who needs love songs to be in love? Lawahiz and Demitri draped their arms around each other shoulders and danced as if asleep. There were many other couples there but these two seemed to float high in the air without moving any feet, like in a jewelry box. Jumana Caridad was glad she was never told by her best friend the secrets in her heart about her love. She could see them floating around in this jewelry box as clear as the night sky outside.
On the days Lawahiz and Demitri couldn't see each other because school had to be attended they did not speak to each other. Not by any means of technology or even by writing. Instead they sent each other things. Each waited in anticipation during lessons to see what the kind yet curious mailman had brought. For Lawahiz it was sometimes a single flower, or music, or pictures of animals she adored. For Demitri it was always one of Lawahiz's own creations; a painting of expression or a song on a clustered tape. On irregular occasions she sprayed football cards with her perfume. When they saw each other at weekends they never said thank-you because it was an obligatory routine. All of their gifts were kept at the bottom of separate wooden or wicker trunks. That was so if they grew old together and forgot their youthful adventure they could go back and add another reason to the millions of why they loved each other. It was also so (heaven forbid) if they met death before one another and became separated in the afterworld these trunks would be the place to meet.
One fine afternoon in June, the park in Lawahiz's town was green and voluptuous with plants. The trees shaded the ducks in the pond and reached as tall as the Victorian buildings over the main road. The colour of green varied from lime and bottled to blue and jade. It was a haven; an Eden; a paradise. The park was a secluded escape from the bustle of the town outside. There was noise but of a certain tranquility. Frisbees flew through the air while single mothers rocked their babies with the false hope of meeting a husband. Everyone prayed that God would save them here. Old people, even the well known and respected, drifted off to sleep on benches, crushed by their own weight or so frail they could float away. They slept in the wish that death would come quickly for them in the park. But it was never allowed.
On a red blanket that smothered the green sea lay Lawahiz and Demitri. They ate no food but looked at pictures and literature, laughing together and absorbing one another's essences. When the sun was still burning bright as ever, raining fiery heat on this part of the earth, the clouds allowed the shadows to come out. The atmosphere was of a jungle. When the public had decided to leave Lawahiz and Demitri had fallen into a slumber. They were not holding each other for safety and only Lawahiz's head lay on Demitri's shoulder. He stirred and woke when a dark phantom draped over him. It disappeared and Lawahiz became fully awake and turned to face him. In that same second his eyes were open as well, looking at the new, white inhabitants of the sky, but not thinking of anything as usual. Lawahiz kissed Demitri for the unaccountable time with all her passion but no force. Her blackened fringe brushed his right eyelid as if applying make-up. Neither heard any sound or could sense anything from the real world. The only image in their heads was of them looking the most picturesque of Siamese twins.
Lawahiz could have stayed like that for all eternity but God told her soul to stop. For the first time she lay with her back to Demitri. He did not think anything of it because he lay there not looking at her as well. Lawahiz was incredibly terrified of what her body was revealing, what it was telling her brain to say. It wanted more. It wanted fire and emotion; it wanted to give the hormones what theyasked for and wanted the painful beauty of naturalism. Demitri's body and brain were in unison to Lawahiz's. He ached and felt numb as if he were itching sands and like his head was the only thing on that red blanket. Neither dared to say anything about it, for the fear of fate and death. They did not want to be Adam and Eve eating the fruit because of the temptations from their serpents. With a premonition they let their hands hold each other in comfort and lay there till nightfall.
It was a Sunday when Lawahiz woke from a dreamless sleep and did not feel like herself. She did not recognize herself in the mirror of the bathroom and annoyed her mother by dragging her feet down for breakfast. She hoped that being in church with the Holy Spirit would rid her of her blues but not even the walk home in the autumn breeze caused anything to shift. The symptoms began by her sitting for hours, seeming unreal, with no thoughts; her mind a blank, black abyss. She did not even feel the need to blame it on her period. She lay in a cold bath and did not talk at the table or whilst in the television room (as she always did, when it was on). Sleep was sound and necessary but still with this anomalistic frustration, or lack of.
Lawahiz began to stop sending her objects of affection to Demitri. He always sent his though. She simply didn't want to or feel the need to anymore. The first time the effects were not sent Demitri was concerned but not suspicious or damaged. He left the clouded mystery unanswered for a week, then two, then three, but continued to send his man made dreams of fondness. He did not want to break the rule of words.
Demitri knew his young woman had not died or become ill as his soul would have died or become injured its self. He knew it was not adolescent adultery for he would have had his first nightmare, and seen his heart jump out of his chest and rip into a million pieces of red glass. The curiosity and jealousy of not knowing the exact thought of his devoted got the better of him. He broke the rule of words by telephone.
"Please, leave me alone", Lawahiz said without a sharp tongue and with no other meaning than that of the words. Demitri was silent for a few seconds and then said "yes". He was completely silent for several hours after, and could not understand her behavior to any percent. He respected Lawahiz but felt abused and untrustworthy. So Demitri telephoned everyday but she was persistent in her ignorance. There was only Lawahiz solely, with this abnormality.
In the middle of winter Demitri wanted his eyes to lead him. On the train he endured the moist air and the cold sting of stranger's skins. Then he braved the bizarre coastal town with its atmosphere of salt, foods and gas. Demitri did not know where Lawahiz lived but had memorized the description into his bones. He got a bus numbered ninety and became more nervous of the snow, but then it was familiar to his boots and sopping trousers. When Demitri came to the house of Lawahiz he saw a superior building of splendor that should have a place in history books. Lawahiz answered the door to him but did not speak. She wasn't shocked or delighted, but looked with plainness. Demitri had looked into her eyes a million times and saw something that shocked his very existence.
That's when the uncontrollable weeping started. It was particularly in the bathroom when it happened, where Lawahiz would collapse and stream rivers begging God for assistance. It could never be stopped by her favourite canciones or the melancholy ballads that moved her to sing and feel elated in slight sadness. She only saw her drowning Arabic eyes in the mirror. Lawahiz was not even comfortable with her nakedness anymore. She lay completely bare in her bedroom, legs and arms splayed across the floor, then coming together to act as a barrier to stop the crying. She lay stripped of clothes and power of control for weeks. Not even in her sleep was there saviour.
Not long into a New Year the sun shone through a gap in Lawahiz's curtains and wakening she felt better. Not one hundred percent but enough to find condolence in her favourite market. She preferred to visit her past life and use a wicker basket rather than modern bags. The colourfulness of the things to buy and of the people's market life made Lawahiz silently rejoice in a sense of normality. A smile she had not encountered in a long time began to gently and gradually stretch. Amidst all the flurry of the market place, in the centre of the pavement, Lawahiz experienced a calming and wonderful presence behind her. She turned and saw Demitri. He recognized her faithful eyes once again but did not want to tempt a change in destiny so tried to stop. Neither did he even subtly want an apology. Then Lawahiz took his hand and gripped it for one second. Then they hurried away. Not out of anticipation or impatience or waiting for a big finale, but simply to get to where she knew. Lawahiz and Demitri sat on a bench (the one where they had learnt to kiss) and as they always did they lifted there arms in unity and embraced; for so long. It was as though the time they used now made up and bettered the months they had missed each other.
That same weekend where the boy and girl had first met arrived again, but a year later. It was the first time an adult or anyone for that matter, had planned an occasion for them, But it was not only for them, but for the music classes. They sat together on the traveling vehicle but spoke more to friends and acquaintances. The bond was not broken but something deep in their skeleton frames began to feel different. They just ignored it.
Lawahiz and Demitri hurried down the famous Oxford Street (like the rest of the public) only to look into the windows of superstores, not to enter. The feeling of the skeleton frames began to evaporate and in a glass pane they foresaw themselves at the age of thirty. Lawahiz was dragging Demitri around for Christmas gifts and although he still loved her and did not say a bad word, he did not relish in it. They did not want to affect fate by questioning whether this torturing change was for their produced children or whether they were just inflicting it upon themselves alone. It was astounding so they moved on to the concert of nostalgia and patriots.
The concert was the same as the bus ride. Food like bread, fruit and chocolate were flung around, between the group of males while the females appreciated the melodiousness of morphing sensuality and sexuality. As the music began to play the invisible sun behind the clouds was setting and the wind and the darkness crept in. Lawahiz and Demitri suddenly felt another peculiarity and saw the future. All the surrounding people of closeness were with them. Black cocktail dresses and feathered tiaras were worn while black suits and no ties (because dignity had been lost) were worn by balding men of plentiful weight. Lawahiz's nose has changed so many times that the end was tall and pointed as high as Mount Everest, also due to her heads erect posture. Demitri was greasy and ruined from cigars and brandy. The essence of life was lost or stolen probably by the devil himself. The love of power and money had overcome love's authority and Lawahiz and Demitri had become lacking leaders of their imaginative, proud substances.
Each promised themselves and the other to be together in later life but to never be together like that. It would be the only time they would challenge something other than the positional joining of themselves, and the only time they would stop something other than their hearts from exploding. It would be the only thing they would focus on (without too much enthusiasm so not too preoccupy life) other than obeying the rule that brings death.
By April 2005 Lawahiz and Demitri had been together, as friends and more for a year and seven months. Demitri was now a driver and they took a trip not for something purposely to happen but for something to do. It did happen. It was ordained in their brains that they were destined for companionship and more. But they had a fear of too much familiarity and boredom of knowing everything of each other. It petrified them even more to think of it, incase it happened. There was one last test for their relationship. Night fell around a hotel.
Everything became clear in those moments. Pain and stumbling excitement gave way to perfection and worship. It was if the room was the green haven of the park surrounded by pink and white flowers on the floor; entirely natural. Lawahiz and Demitri were uncovered of man-made fibres, secrets and self-knowledge. Both were vulnerable yet secure at the same time. The timing didn't have to be made purposely romantic with wax and fire or music; it didn't have to be made anything other than it was. As if by magnetism, they joined bodies and became one.
The new morning's sun stirred Lawahiz through the curtains again. Her long, flowing hair quilted the pillow whilst the sheet quilted her exposed skin. She lay for a few minutes and then turned to Demitri who was still apparently sleeping. Into his ear Lawahiz said all the feelings of her heart in three simplistic words. She knew he meant it back but didn't care if he never expressed it their entire lives, because it could never stop her harmony. She tuned to how she lay before. Demitri had been awake when he heard the words, admiring and savouring in their allure. He faced Lawahiz's back and then held her like God holds his children; with such gentle personality and protection. He repeated the words. In their dreams they subconsciously thought of the rule of words, learning to kiss and even dancing while floating, which they no longer did anymore. And as always, some how, Demitri's and Lawahiz's hands found each other, to stay that way, forever.
