Hello everybody, Metherarto here. I'm taking quite a big break from my Inside Out fic to write a new one based on my favourite video game: Team Fortress 2. I had this idea for quite a while after watching the movie RIPD, so be aware that some parts have been slightly adapted before I'm accused of ripping someone off. I still actually owe the Percy Jackson franchise for inspiring me with my Inside Out fic's jokes too, so there it is. This one will most likely be a lot longer (if I stay bothered enough to finish it), so for those who have come as guests or are hardcore readers of this website, welcome to the story.

As always, enjoy.


Nathan adjusted his dog tags and let his shirt hang a bit lower than his chest so it was exposed along the neck line. His "chick" position, which he considered a lucky charm before battle, was widely considered a joke for the rest of BLU team, but they let it go since it was quite honestly hilarious. Who was he actually going to seduce, forty to fifty year old men? He pressed himself flat against the gates that would automatically open in thirty seconds to ambush anyone hiding around the corner, checking his scattergun, his pistol, his hair, everything a vain Scout would possibly need to check. His bemused Sniper comrade, Mick, clutching a custom built sniper rifle, squeezed himself beside him. Twenty seconds. Nathan wiped a line of sweat from his brow. Not from nerves, but from anticipation. Ten seconds. Two Heavy and Medic duos joined them at the exit and an Engineer picked up his teleporter kit, ready for deployment. Just another day in the Gorge area.

"BEGIN!" echoed that ominous voice, spoken every day. For a normal person, it would mean a quick contest, over in minutes. For the mercenaries, it was the beginning of a fifteen hour firefight that only stretched between about eighty metres of ground.

Mick murmured in Nathan's ear.

"Hey." he said, that rich, chilling Aussie accent making Nathan shiver. "Be safe, will ya?"

Nathan simply nodded in reply, took a deep breath, and ran out into the carnage. Rockets, grenades and bullets flew at him in deadly streaks, ricocheting harmlessly off empty crates and collapsing boxes as he leaped at almost impossible heights to avoid them. A shotgun blast nearly caved the side of his skull in, had he been a fraction of a second too late to roll under it. He spun around, crouching, slugging ten pistol rounds into the chest of the unnamed Soldier who'd been centimetres away from turning him into a Scout kebab with extra salad. He collapsed almost instantly and was dead before he hit the floor.

"Get to the point!" he yelled to his peers, who were picking off the last stragglers. The capture zone was just in the courtyard ahead, plain to see through the giant holes in the walls created by minigun fire. A small building lay between their goal, and Nathan reloaded while he had the chance. There were three entrances into the building: left, right or centre. He picked left, following Mick. The Heavies and Medics ran on ahead, but they kept to the back, expecting something to happen almost instantly.

And it did.

The Heavies and Medics ran up the stairs, through the main exit towards the point, and Nathan could practically see it happening in slow motion. A glimpse of a spiked, red, plastic ball lay around the doorframe. Then another. And another. The Medics opened their mouths to scream, the Heavies' faces fell immediately and Nathan stretched out his legs to shove them away, but the damage was done: the stickybombs erupted in a blossoming could of flame, igniting the entire radius and reducing the four men to thick, gushing, bloody soup. An eyeball got caught on Nathan's shoulder and he brushed it off in disgust. Mick released the stock of his silenced submachine gun, letting it fall with a clatter before replacing it. Probably trying to avoid being sick.

They were a stretch from the control point. A few footsteps, just upon the bridge that stretched over that dried up and non-existent river. Not even that. The stickybombs were gone, but there was still God knows what waiting to pounce on them the minute they stepped outside. A squad of five Pyros interrupted his thoughts as they ploughed behind cover next to him, waiting for the go ahead. Right. RED team wanted a good show? Let's give 'em one.

Nathan planted his fingers firmly on his scattergun trigger and sprinted as fast as he could, unaware of the continuous streams of cartridges being sent after him. The Pyros and Mick followed after him, providing cover as he fought on top of the silver disc that would claim his victory. Three sentry guns, one on a neighbouring roof, one below the bridge and another next to the wall, being repaired nonstop by Engineers deafened him, but he focused as hard as he could on what seemed to be fifty people shooting at him at once. Two charging Demoknight tried to flatten him, but he dropped to the ground and tripped one of them over, knocking him headfirst and letting him finish him off with a blast to the head and a drunken yell of pain. The second whipped around with his sword after his failed attempt, scraping Nathan's dog tags and narrowly avoiding his neck. Nathan shoved him back with a foot to the sternum, and stood up to face him head on. The Demoknight snorted like a rabid bull, ready to strike again, but was blasted in the chest, spraying his alcohol-infused liver all over the walls and making an awful mess of Nathan's jogging bottoms. The knight did quite a spectacular backflip, then fell against the sentry by the wall, shoving it flat and crushing the Engineer underneath. Two birds with one stone. Or three if you count the sentry. That's one for the trophy cabinet, Nathan thought smugly, before being dragged back into reality by a muffled shout as the control point started filtering from devil red to a sea blue shade. Mick had blown the head off the second Engineer and wrecked his sentry, but the third was not letting anyone near. Three of the Pyros charged him, but a wrangled rocket blast to their feet cut them all down mid-step giving only one time to realise his mistake. Nathan used this distraction to get behind him and his contraption, and, for effect, waited until the sentry realised he was there and almost gave the Engineer a heart attack. He leaped on top of it, ripping parts out of the top, until it sparked and went haywire, firing in all directions as it was slowly demolished. The Engineer hadn't tried to save it, and it was only after Nathan stood up, panting from sweat and pride, that it was because he was just a burning pile of overalls and a hard hat with the last few Pyros kicking him a few more times just for good measure. They'd won.

"VICTORY!" came the final announcement, issuing the enemy's death warrant. Nathan was too tired to chase whatever poor suckers were still alive today, so he just leaned back against the fence with Mick and sipped his can of punch he kept for celebrations.

"Tough one, huh, mate?" Mick asked, not to bothering to hide the fact that he was having a rather silent laugh at his appearance. "You can tell you enjoyed that one."

Nathan just grinned back, listening to an echoing explosion from the RED spawn and the emanating scream of a dying enemy Scout. Probably some stupid amateur who didn't know when to duck.

"Hey." Mick said, leaning across the fence, propping his rifle up against his back. "What'd you do with your…you know, your unusual?"

Nathan shrugged. It had only taken five hundred odd crates and two years' worth of salaries, but he'd managed to locate a factory new, unusual baseball cap with a disco-light shine coming from the rim. It was one of many that were probably stashed away in the darkest corners of Saxton Hale's basement.

"Boxed it back at my mothers'." He whispered, leaning in close to make sure they weren't being watched or overheard. Mick nodded.

"Makes sense, I guess. After all, there's plenty of people wanting to get it, right?"

"Yup. As a matter a fact, I'm amazed it hasn't already been nicked. Ma always has to date really dodgy guys she meets when I'm on the job…I mean, RED Spy? Seriously? She needs to get out more."

"Mmm-hmm. But you should watch out. Ya never know when of those bloody spooks are hangin' around. Big gob of yours could get yourself into trouble."

"Oh, come on Mick. You know me. You're my best pal. I can take one of those freaks any day."

Then Nathan heard the click of a hammer behind him, followed by that cold voice Mick usually made when he was trying to get the enemy to freak out under his gaze. "Really?"

Nathan slowly turned to find a revolver levelled at his face. One he certainly hadn't seen Mick pack beforehand.

"It's a shame you never let me have that unusual, Nathan. It would have looked good in the RED team hall of achievement. Just imagine it: me, the murderer of the best Scout BLU has employed. Or had employed. Better get used to the past tense."

Nathan stared at the gun. This had to be some kind of cheap joke, it had to be. But the barrel didn't waver.

"Poor old ma." Mick continued. "Now childless as well as a widow. But don't worry: her boyfriend will help her get over it."

The truth hit Nathan like a brick. As a matter a fact, it seemed to hurt even more.

"You're a spy."

Mick rolled his eyes. "Well duh, wanker. It took me a while to get this accent right, so I'll let you die with the comfort of knowing it was from one professional to another. But skill always beats luck."

Nathan couldn't think of anything to say, so he just gave a solitary "go to hell."

Mick smiled a little. "My dear old mate," was the last words Nathan heard in his old career. "That's exactly where I'm taking you."

He pulled the trigger. A flash, a bang, and all Nathan could see was blackness as the life slowly dripped out of him in the form of crimson liquid gushing from the hole in his head.


Aaaaannnnddd...cliffhanger. Very familiar to the RIPD, huh? Don't worry, I'll add my own original ideas as the fic goes on, so continued support is very welcome. I'm a bit of a nitpick as well, so please inform me of any spelling errors I may have made, as this was quite rushed. All the same, I hope to entertain you guys later.

Peace.