Disclaimer:  I do not own any part of the show Enterprise, they are all owned by the rich people of Paramount.  There is no reason to sue me I get no money from this story, and if you did sue all you would get is a half-eaten pizza and some cokes.

Author Notes:  Takes place after "Proving Grounds", but has spoilers from many episodes beforehand.  This is my first try at a Enterprise fic so please be gentle. J

Illogical Behavior

            Walking through the halls of Enterprise Captain Archer could not help but look out at the Expanse and ponder why the hell was he here?  'I must be out of my mind, piloting a multi-species crew into a patch of space that has never been explored.  While making enemies with all people we meet and destroying things that would further my cause.  Yep, there is definitely a tombstone for me somewhere out there.'

            Arriving at his destination Archer opened the door and came face to face with an exuberant Japanese woman.  Intrigued by the excitement in the air Archer nodded his head and encouraged Hoshi to speak.  "Captain, we have found some sort of interference in the waves of space.  It makes no sense if you just listen to it but when you patch it all together and slow it down a lot you get this."

            On the screen was a detailed diagram of the Xindi's ultimate weapon, give or take a few other details.  Amazed by this sudden turn of events Jonathan was left speechless, "How did you find this and who gave it to us?"

            "Sir this was a communication by the Andorians, but it seems to be too encoded for just a regular hailing."

            "What do you think T'pol?  Do you think Shran is lying again?"

            "Captain I have reservations against the Andorians but I believe that they have fulfilled their promise and leave it at that."

            Surprised by his first officer's kind, well not kind but not too bad, words toward the Andorians Archer let it pass and scanned the screen once more.  "Sir, what are your orders?  Do you wish to destroy this information?"

            "No Hoshi, I think we will take this as a farewell gift from the Andorians.  Well now that is over with, how bout a drink?  I have 3 cases of Andorian ale left, it is really very good."

            "I believe that we should send this information to Star Fleet immediately, it is most important that they be prepared."  Retrieving the disk with the scans of the weapon from Hoshi, T'pol walked toward the bridge.

            "Well I guess that was a no, how bout you Hoshi?  Would you like to join your Captain for a drink?"  Caught off guard from the sudden invitation Hoshi agreed rather quickly.  Extending his arm out to his linguistic expert, taking her arm in his embrace he escorted her to his quarters.  Surprised by her superior officer's intimate advances Hoshi let herself be lead to his room.

            Entering his quarters Archer asked Hoshi to find a seat while he tidied up a bit, Porthos smelled the new arrival and found that she had an appeasing smell to her.  Nudging her thigh with his nose Porthos was rewarded with a pat on the head and a scratch behind the ears.  Hoshi had a chance to look around the room, true it was not exceptionally tidy but nor was it tremendously dirty.  Her eyes landed on a picture of Jonathan and his father posing in front of the Enterprise.

            "That was the first time I had ever seen the ship, it surprised me how big it turned out."  The unexpected entrance of her Captain startled Hoshi and made her heart race, "Whoa there…sorry about that, didn't mean to scare you."

            "I am fine, just a bit startled is all.  Is that the ale?"  Nodding his head Archer pour two glass of the red liquor, handing one to Hoshi he raised his glass in a toast.  "What shall we drink to?"

            "How bout the end of this war?"

            "Sounds good to me.  To the end of this war!"

           Taking a gulp from his glass while Hoshi just sipped hers, she still had work after this.  "Well thank you for the ale sir, but I must be on my way."

            "Oh come on, you can stay for a few minutes I haven't spoken to you for much too long."

            "How is everything going for you Hoshi?  I mean since we have entered the Expanse?"

            "There is nothing out of the ordinary just more hectic than usually is all."  Laughing lightly at her little joke Archer lounged on his sofa, "You can still down Hoshi, believe me nothing in here will break anytime soon."

            "Thank you sir."

            "Call me Jonathan, you are not on duty right now Hoshi."

            "Yes, si…I mean Jonathan.  How bout you?  How are you doing sir?"

            Sighing at her less than calm attitude Jonathan answered her question with a question of his own.  "How would you feel to have the whole crew's future in your hands?"  Shocked by the ice lacing the words of her superior she backpedaled a bit, too bad she was seated and the chair gave way under her.  Screaming in surprise Hoshi tumbled behind the chair and landed in a very unladylike manner.  "Are you alright Hoshi?  Hahahahaha…."  Laughing uncontrollably Jonathan could not finish his assessment of his friend's health.  She had both her legs tied up in a knot and her ass was sticking into the air, "Thank you for the help sir!  I mean it would be so cruel if you laughed, thank you for keeping things professional!"  Losing his amusement in a few seconds Archer rushed over to help his friend, "I am sorry Hoshi, I did not mean to laugh but you should have seen yourself."  Receiving a glare for his trouble Archer rephrased his sentence, "I mean I am sorry Hoshi, and I am a bad man for laughing at you.  Bad Jonathan, bad."

            Struggling to stay mad at her superior officer Hoshi soon cracked a smile.  "Now that is much better, you smile too little these days Hoshi.  It is good to see it again."  Blushing at his statement Hoshi turned around to recompose herself, "I doesn't mean I am any less mad at you sir.  And what is with the icy words, all I was doing was making conversation."

            "Again I am sorry Hoshi, but it has been a hectic couple of months.  The pressure is getting to me, what with terrorists taking over my ship, people dying left and right, files being deleted before my eyes; a very long couple of months."

            "Well enough of all that bad stuff let's finish this bottle of ale.  It sure tastes great.  Here have another cup Hoshi, it's one of the gifts that I actually like from the Andorians."

            And thus it went on for 2 hours, Jonathan drinking himself into a drunken stupor while Hoshi was listening to his uninhibited comments.  "And…you know those stupid Anforia…ns are soooo snobby they think their soo great well their not.  And did I say that them people are snobby?"  Amused by her captains antics Hoshi nodded her head and then he went onto another lecture about how much trouble the expanse was.  Finally the captain tumbled to his bed and snores could be heard.  Shaking her head in amusement Hoshi walked toward the captain and placed his whole body into the bed.  Tucking him in like a baby Hoshi heard one last remark from the fallen captain.  "Thanks Hoshi, you know you are really a great friend and an even better wife.  So beautiful and sweet…sweet…ohh honey with toast….snore…snore."

            Jumping back Hoshi could not believe the words coming out of his mouth, 'Must be talking about a good wife for someone else.  Yeah…not like he feels that way toward me.  Still, he does look like a angel lying there.  (Snore…snore…snore)  Okay a snoring angel, but still.'  Walking toward his bed once more Hoshi leaned in and brushed his bangs from his eyes, while placing a tender kiss on his forehead.  "Goodnight si…Jonathan, sleep tight."  Quietly leaving the captain's quarters Hoshi took one last look and closed the door completely.  Walking down the corridor Hoshi started singing a Japanese hymn under her breath.  Unbeknownst to Hoshi her actions were detected by a certain Vulcan, 'Curious, what would Ensign Hoshi be doing in the captain's quarters at this time of nite?  Curious, very curious.'

AN:  Well that's it y'all, how did you like it?  Don't forget to press that little button down there and review.  Well I am beat so Peace, and see ya next time.