A/N Thank you for taking the time to read my story. This is my first Bones Fanfic. For those of you who have read my other stories I have to say that this one is quite different from my usual writing style, mainly because I normally sick close to cannon but with this story I believe that the characters tell the story well but are not cannon... just a warning... I hope you enjoy.
...
Cam stood over the remains of a recent drowning victim in the lab. She let out a sigh before beginning her work. Things in her life were starting to get back to normal. It had been a long year but Dr. Brennan had recently returned home from her leave, Angela and Hodgins were back from their extended honeymoon, and even Sweets was back to his carefree self now that Daisy was back in town. Booth had two weeks left on his tour of duty. Her family would be together again soon.
Cam had bent down to examine the bloated body, when a dark figure lingering in the door way caught her eye. For one brief wild moment, Cam caught her breath because she thought she had seen Booth standing there staring at her before the figure moved into the light. Jared Booth walked up to Cam. Before she could speak, she noticed that his eyes had no spark, almost as if they had died. Jared looked straight into Cam's eyes and she knew why he had come before he spoke. He took a deep breath.
"I need to speak with Dr. Brennan."
...
Angela was sprawled across the couch in Brennan's office, recounting tales of the French Rivera and many days when her and Hodgins didn't leave the 4 star hotel room. Brennan sat in front of her computer, ideally pushing the backspace key as she reworked the latest chapter of her next novel. Her heart wasn't into her writing or even to listening to Angela's story.
Brennan had realized on her trip that she missed her partner. Not just the cases that they solved or the adventures that they had together but him. She missed his smile, his laugh, the sparkle in his eyes. Brennan realized while she was away that she was ready to let Booth try and love her. She was ready to lose herself to him and accept whatever consequences occurred.
"And we sat on that roof top, finishing a bottle of wine, listening to the music that played from the street below," Angela giggled, lost in her story. She seemed to realize that her best friend wasn't listening to her and sat up. "Sweetie, are you even listening to me?"
"Yes, Ang," said Brennan, shaking herself out of her reverie, "Music on the roof top, very romantic."
"What has gotten into you," said Angela, "You have been weird ever since I got back."
"I just have a lot on my mind."
"This is about Booth, isn't it?" Angela questioned her friend. Brennan didn't answer, just returned to her frustrated typing. "I can't imagine the sexual tension that will exist between the two of you when he gets back," Angela said, lying back down on the couch, "I mean, it was bad before but after a year apart, that has got to be intolerable."
"I finally decided what to say when I see him," Brennan said, nonchalantly, enjoying Angela's stunned reaction as she almost fell off the couch.
"What do you mean?" asked Angela, excitedly. Brennan smiled and opened her mouth to speak when Cam and Jared Booth entered her office. The sight of the younger Booth startled Brennan, and she felt her heart skip a beat. There was only one reason why Jared would be at the Jeffersonian.
"What's wrong?" asked Brennan, breathlessly.
"Tempy," began Jared, reaching out to take Brennan's hand which she quickly pulled out of reach.
"Just tell me," demanded Brennan. Jared looked down, not meeting the doctor's eyes.
"Seeley is missing."
...
The silence that had filled the room after Jared announcement was finally beginning to break. Angela had left the room and now returned with Hodgins and Sweets in tow. Cam was sitting on the couch in stunned silence, wringing her hands. Jared stood very still in front of Brennan's desk waiting for her reaction. Brennan sat at her desk, staring off into space, for once in her life feeling unsure about what was happening. It was Hodgins who spoke first.
"What is going on?" Hodgin's asked, looking at Jared.
"A little over an hour ago, I received a call from the military," began Jared, not taking his eyes off Dr. Brennan, who still hadn't moved but seemed to be listening. "Seeley had taken a group of trainees into the field when they were ambushed. A fight ensued. Right now the military is doing damage control but they can not account for my brother but there were casualties."
"What does that mean?" asked Angela, holding Hodgin's hand.
"It means they don't know if Booth is dead or alive," said Cam, shaking slightly.
"More likely, that they know but can't confirm anything for the family yet," corrected Jared. He turned to face Brennan again. "I came here today because before Seeley left, he made me promise to keep you informed, Tempy. He didn't want you to hear from the military if something happened to him. He wanted you to know the truth from family." Brennan nodded, still staring off into the distance.
"So what happens now?" asked Sweets, his voice cracking.
"I should receive a call sometime tonight," replied Jared.
"Well I know I am not leaving until I know the truth," said Angela, squeezing Hodgin's hand who nodded in agreement.
"Me too," Sweets chimed in.
"I think it is safe to say that we all want to stay together until that calls comes," said Cam. She turned to face the others in the room who started to settle themselves into comfortable positions although Jared continued to stand at attention in front of Brennan who still hadn't moved from her desk.
"Tempy," began Jared, "please tell me what you are thinking. What can I do for you?"
"Nothing," said Brennan, finally standing up from her desk. "I can't be here." She quickly grabbed her purse from under her desk and rushed to the door.
"Brennan, wait," called Jared as he moved to block her exit but was stopped by Hodgins.
"Let her go, man," said Hodgins.
"You don't understand," said Jared. "I promised my brother that I would take care of her, protect her when he couldn't. He made me swear I would be there for her." Jared's calm façade seemed to finally crack as his eyes welled up.
"What you don't understand, sweetie," said Angela, as she put a hand on his arm, "is that the only person who could possibly comfort her at a time like this is missing in action." Jared hung is head and moved to sit in a chair. And so the makeshift family sat, holding a silent lament for their missing brother and waiting for the ominous sound of a phone ringing to confirm their worst fears.
...
Brennan sat alone at a booth in the diner staring at a piece of pie and a cup of coffee. She didn't want the sugary treat but she ordered it for the same reason she came to the diner, she needed to feel close to Booth. She had the strangest urge to reassure herself that Booth had been real and that she wasn't in the middle of a giant dream. She knew it was irrational but at that moment she would accept illogicality if it meant that she didn't have to feel this pain.
When Jared announced that Booth was missing, Brennan felt a part of herself die. It was if Bones had died in the battle field with Booth and it was unnerving to her to know that no one would ever call her that again. And in the same dreamlike and irrational state it was almost fitting that Bones and Booth would be gone forever, together.
Brennan also knew that she would forever be haunted by the words that she had never told him. The words that were much to personal to write in any of the letters that they had exchanged, too personal for the few short phone calls they had been able to manage. Words that he had been so courageous and shared with her when she wasn't ready to reciprocate and now he would never know that she was ready to admit that she felt the same way.
She reached across the table and wrapped her hands around the coffee cup, letting it warm her hands, desperate to feel anything. She heard the bell on the diner door ring as the door shut softly and felt the presence of someone coming near her. Brennan didn't look up from the coffee cup as the person slid into the seat across from her, Booth's seat.
"What are you doing here, Angela?"
"I was going to ask you the same thing." Brennan didn't want to admit to Angela why she had come to the diner so she sat in silence, completely focused on the coffee cup, almost willing it to burn her. Suddenly Brennan looked up at Angela, a small smile playing at her lips.
"Do you want to know what I was going to say to Booth when I finally saw him?" asked Brennan.
"Sweetie, don't," said Angela.
"I was going to say that even though I don't believe in marriage or monogamy or even the idea of a serious relationship, I believe in him," said Brennan, ignoring Angela's request. "And that belief is enough for me." Brennan felt a tear run down her cheek as she returned to staring at the cup of coffee.
"Brennan, you can't sit her alone," said Angela, "Come back with me. We should all be together when the call comes in."
"I don't need to hear the phone call, Angela. I already know the truth."
"Now look who is jumping to conclusions with out all the evidence," said Angela, standing up. Brennan didn't move from her seat. "Brennan, I need you to come back with me. I am already worried about Booth, please don't make me worry about you too." Brennan looked up at Angela. "Please, sweetie, for me." Brennan nodded and stood up, left a few dollars on the table for the untouched pie and coffee and followed Angela back to the Jeffersonian.
...
The scene in her office hadn't changed much since Brennan left. Someone had turned on the small stereo that sat behind her desk, probably to have some other noise to focus on besides the breathing of the others in the room. Brennan followed Angela to the couch and sat down, not looking at anyone. Cam reached over and squeezed her hand, a small gesture from a women who had no idea how to comfort her.
Cam had no idea how Brennan was able to sit there without breaking down. Cam loved Booth but not in the same way that Brennan did. Cam loved Booth as a former lover and now a close friend but she and Seeley never had the connection that he and Dr. Brennan seemed to share. Cam felt tears beginning to form again as she released Brennan's hand.
"How long has it been?" asked Angela, finally breaking the silence. Jared checked his watch.
"Two and a half hours since the first phone call."
"Shouldn't we have heard something by now?" asked Sweets as he stood up and began pacing the room.
"I think we will be lucky if we hear anything tonight," responded Jared.
"Typical government propaganda," said Hodgins.
"I don't like it anymore than you do," said Jared.
"He shouldn't have gone," said Brennan, speaking for the first time. The group looked up at her.
"He didn't have a choice," said Jared.
"Of course he had a choice," said Brennan raising her voice slightly. "Booth could have said no when they asked him to accept the mission.
"No, he couldn't," said Jared, anger beginning to creep into his voice.
"Ok guys, lets calm down," said Hodgins.
"No one made him accept the mission," answered Brennan, getting to her feet.
"YOU DID!" shouted Jared as he jumped up. Brennan stepped back stunned but Jared advanced on her. "You didn't see him before he left. You had just told him you were leaving for a year. After he told you that he loved you but you broke his heart, you were going to abandon him. He had to accept the mission because he couldn't handle a year of being here, surrounded by memories of you." Hodgins jumped up and placed his hands on Jared's shoulders pushing him back into his chair. Jared buried his head in his hands.
"This isn't Brennan's fault," said Angela, standing up for her friend.
"Yes, it is, Angela," said Brennan quietly. "Maybe if I had been honest with him from the beginning, honest with myself, then maybe none of this would have happened." She turned to face Jared. "I'm sorry."
Jared looked up at Brennan but before he could answer, his cell phone rang.
...
Brennan felt her heart stop as she looked at Jared's vibrating phone. The sound had frozen the group in their spots, no one so much as breathing. Finally on the third ring, Jared seemed to awake from his stupor and with a shaking hand, answered the phone.
"Hello," he said. "Yes, this is Jared Booth. Yes, I will hold." He turned to look at the group. "They put me on hold to speak with the commanding officer." Jared stood at attention again, with his phone pressed to his ear. Brennan watched as Sweets paced around the office, Cam sat crying softly, and Angela clung to Hodgins, her head resting on his shoulder. Brennan felt the tears beginning to form in her eyes. She turned to face Angela.
"I tried," she whispered to Angela through the tears before hurrying out of the room. Brennan ran from the office but didn't make it very far before collapsing, finally letting the tears take their toil. She sat on the ground in the middle of the lab and sobbed, letting the pain envelop her, letting her heart break.
Brennan was resting her face against the cold lab floor when she became vaguely aware of someone shouting her name. She sat up and hastely rubbed her face of the last few tear drops. Someone was calling her name as they ran towards her.
"Brennan!" Angela shouted as she skidded to a stop in front of Brennan, her eyes still red and her face still wet with tears. "You have to come back with me, they need you on the phone." She grabbed Brennan's arm and pulled her to her feet.
"What is this all about?" asked Brennan as she followed Angela.
"Just hurry." The two women hurried into Brennan's office. The scene had changed since Brennan had run out. Sweets was now the one sitting with his head in his lap, Cam and Jared seemed to be locked in an embrase and Hodgins seemed to be on his cell phone. When Brennan entered the room, Jared looked up and passed her his phone. Brennan took a deep breath before pressing the small piece of plastic to her ear.
"This is Dr. Brennan," she said, turning around so she wouldn't have to look at her friends while she spoke. She closed her eyes and waited for a response from the person on the line.
"Bones," whispered the voice on the other end. Brennan spun around to look at her friends. What she had took as a scene of grieving was actually one of joy. Cam and Jared were holding each other as a sign of relief, Sweets actually seemed to be praying, thanking God and Hodgins was laughing as he spoke on the phone as he shared his good news.
"Booth?" she answered, a smile spreading across her face.
"I don't have much time," he answered. "I just had to hear your voice."
"Are you in a lot of pain?" she asked, trying to keep the happiness out of her voice. She knew he was injured but she was just so happy that Booth was alive that for once in her life she felt like she couldn't contain her enthuziam.
"Just a little," he said with a groan. "They are telling me I have to hang up now. I get to come home as soon as I am well enough to travel."
"Ok," she answered. "Hey Booth, I want to tell you something before you hang up."
"What is it?" he answered and Brennan thought she heard excitement in his voice. Brennan smiled to herself.
"I believe in you."
