AN: What's up everybody, it's NerdAlert coming at ya with a funny little fic. I don't own trolls or any of its characters, wish I did tho.

Cool Patroll!

Poppy and her friends were all hanging out in the meadow, playing a game of troll ball on their skates with a small small dirt clod and some sticks. They were having a good time hanging out, when they heard a shout not to far away. Concerned and worried, Poppy signaled her friends to follow her. As the walked the heard ruckus noises growing louder, like someone was being pushed to the ground.

Poppy pulled back a piece of grass, gasping with shock at what she saw. There was four older trolls pushing Branch around, he was trying to keep ahold of his bundle of sticks. The largest troll Boulder finally tripped Branch, causing him to drop his sticks and land on his face. "The Bergins are coming, yeah right you crazy grey crackpot!"

The four trolls walked away, all laughing as they left. Poppy rushed over to Branch, helping him up while her friends picked up his sticks. "Branch are you okay?!" Branch noticed she was still clinging to his arm, he blushed and pulled out of her grasp. "I'm fine, it happens all the time. No big deal." Poppy's eyes widened, his words surprising her. "This happens all the time?!" She shouted, Branch rolled his eyes grabbing the sticks from her friends.

"Yeah, and it's put me behind schedule so if you'll excuse me." He began walking away, picking up more sticks as he went. Poppy looked to her friends, worry etched on her features. "It's not right or fair for Branch to get bullied, I think this is a job for the Cool Patroll!" Branch heard music behind him, he turned around to find Poppy in his face. He shrieked, jumping in fright.

HEY BRANCH!

YO!

YOU'RE GETTING PICKED ON ALL DAY!

Poppy put her arm around his shoulder, leading him to a big tree.

THE OTHER TROLLS!

HUH!

THEY SAY YOU'RE JUST TOO GREY!

She pointed to the older trolls from earlier, patting his shoulder sympathetically. Causing him to jerk away, but Poppy kept up her pursuit.

WELL THAT'S MALARKEY!

YEAH!

WE'RE GONNA TEACH YOU THE RULES!

Suddenly Branch was surrounded by Poppy's friends, all had their arms crossed and were wearing sunglasses

THOSE OTHER TROLLS AIN'T GONNA BOTHER YOU NO MORE!

They all grouped together around Poppy, striking what they thought was a threatening pose.

WE ARE THE BAD KIDS!

UH!

FROM THE TOUGH SIDE OF TOWN!

Out of nowhere the all pulled out matching black jackets, turning around and pointing to the large logo bedazzled on the back.

WE ARE THE COOL PATROLL!

WOO!

WE'LL TURN YOUR LIFE AROUND!

They all joined hands, circling around Branch much to his discomfort.

THOSE BULLIES!

AW SNAP!

OH THEY'RE IN FOR IT NOW!

Then they all lined up, in a somewhat organized fashion.

WE'RE GONNA SHOW YOU HOW, SO NOW LISTEN YA'LL FIRST!

Poppy sang out then threw a small pod on the ground, causing a bright flash of pink light. Branch shielded his eyes, peaking when the brightness died down. Upon seeing Poppy and her friends, Branch's eyes widened and his jaw dropped.

YOU PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR!

There stood Poppy wearing a bright pink leotard, covered in sparkling glitter. All her friends wearing similar outfits of their respective colors, with the exception of Guy Diamond who oddly wore glittery white pants.

AND THEN JUMP OFF THE GROUND!

Branch had no idea what was going on, one eyebrow raised curiously. He stepped back, because the group stepped closer to him.

AND THEN YOU TAKE THAT FUNKY BUTT, AND YOU SHAKE IT ALL AROUND!

Poppy and her friends turned around and began shaking their hip to the beat, Branch averted his eyes a blush creeping onto his face.

THEN LIGHTLY JOG IN PLACE, AND THEN CRANK IT UP TO A PRANCE!

They all started dancing in place, bouncing around in a goofy manor.

THIS IS THE COOL PATROLL DA-A-ANCE!

Poppy sang out raising her hands, locking eyes with Branch.

NOW PUT YOUR HANDS IN YOUR POCKETS!

She was then behind him and grabbed his wrists, freaking him out a little. She then forced his hands into his pockets, resting only to yank them out again.

AND TAKE'EM RIGHT BACK OUT!

She then spun him around, entwining her fingers with his. This caused Branch great distress, he looked around all the others mimicking Poppy. They all began spinning, Branch getting dizzy from Poppy's erratic movements

THEN SPIN AROUND IN A CIRCLE, AND MAKE AN ANIMAL SOUND!

Poppy then let go of Branch, sending him he stopped Biggie thrust Mr. Dinkles in Branch's face, and he let out a little. "Mew!"

THEN GLIDE INTO THE SPRINKLER, LIKE YOU'RE GONNA WATER THE PLANTS!

Branch fell down to a sitting position, Poppy shooting her hair up to the branch above them.

THIS IS THE COOL PATROLL DA-A-ANCE!

She then slid down a long slide like vine, spiraling down the plant quickly. "Weeeeeeeeeeee!" She squealed in excitement, landing right in front of branch. She bent down to his level, with a smug look on her face. "You get all that Branch?" Branch was so confused, what was that supposed to mean? Was that seriously supposed to help him? Why? "You know that wasn't actually very helpful, that was just an instructional dance." Branch deadpanned.

Poppy smiled, fist bumping DJ who shouted out. "Yeah it was!" Biggie began singing again.

OH YES SIR, THOSE BULLIES BETTER WATCH THEIR BACKS!

Then Smidge chimed in, her deep voice ringing throughout the meadow

YOU'RE SENDING ALL THOSE GUYS A MESSAGE, THERE'S A NEW KING IN CLASS!

Branch then felt a leaf crown being placed on his head, he didn't didn't have time to react though. Because Satin and Chenille came on either side of him, linking arms with him and singing.

WHEN THEY SEE YOU, THEY'RE GOING TO FREAK OUT AND WET THEIR PANTS!

As soon as the twins let go of him, Poppy jumped out of nowhere inches from his face.

THEY ARE JUST JEALOUS!

She sang out loudly, causing Branch to fall back from fright. The whole group singing together.

OH THEY'RE JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE

Then all of them lined up again, striking a pose before.

YOU PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR!

Branch had honestly no clue what was going on anymore, he literally couldn't comprehend it. It was like a defense mechanism, he had built up over the years.

AND THEN STICK OUT YOUR REAR END!

Poppy stuck out her but again, causing Branch to avert his eyes again. 'enough with the butts Poppy, have some decency!' he thought to himself.

AND THEN YOU WIGGLE IT REAL HARD, AND YOU HUG YOUR CLOSEST FRIEND!

The whole group started hugging, Poppy snagging a quick one from Branch. He tried to pry her off, but she let go fairly quickly. Then Guy Diamond jumped in front of everyone, gripping the knees of his pants.

AND THEN YOU WILDLY REMOVE YOUR CLOSE AND TEAR AWAY PANTS!

In a swift motion he tore away his glittery pants, waving them in the air like a lasso. He then tossed the cloth in the air, only for it to land on Branch's face.

THIS IS THE COOL PATROLL DA-A-ANCE!

Branch freaked out, trying to get the pants off his face. He finally got them off and sighed with relief, only to be horrified a second later. There was a short farting noise, and his face was covered in glitter.

THEN RUB THE GLITTER ON YOUR BODY, FROM YOUR HEAD TO YOUR FEET!

He stood stalk still as Guy Diamond pranced around him in a circle, he then frantically began wiping the glitter off his face.

THEN COVER UP YOUR NUDITY WITH DIFFERENT KIND OF FIG LEAVES!

Guy picked up a small leaf, and tucked it into Branch's hair.

NOW HIGH-FIVE COOPER, BECAUSE THIS COULD BE YOUR ONLY CHANCE!

Cooper raised his front leg in front of Branch, waiting for the high five he was just promised. But Branch was having none of it, he glared at Cooper who retreated to the group.

THIS IS THE COOL PATROLL DA-A-ANCE!

Poppy then shouted out. "Cool Break!" And all of them started skating around, doing various tricks and stunts to impress the grey troll. "All right!" Poppy called out, noticing the pyramid of skating trolls. "This is cool!" She looked over at Branch, who was trying to quietly sneak away. She cleared her throat loudly, shouting."Excuse me?"

Branch froze, he had been caught and was now surrounded. Poppy could see he wasn't impressed, so she said to everyone in the circle. "I have an idea! Let's kick it!" Everyone immediately started doing some impressive dance moves, but the best being Poppy.

WOAH-OOH-OH!

Poppy skates with such finesse, but also with power.

WOAH-OH-OH-OH-OOH!

Her legs moving at a synchronized pace, that made her every other move relevant.

WOAH-OH-OH-OOH-OOH!

Her friends began cheering her on, she then struck a pose looking Branch in the eyes.

OH-OH-OH-OOH-OOOOOH!

Branch's heart skipped a beat, as her beautiful pink orbs bore into his soul.

YOU PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR!

She and her friends started singing again, he hadn't noticed.

AND GRAB A BIRD FROM THE SKY!

He and Poppy hadn't broken eye contact, and he was starting to feel something he hadn't in a long time.

AND THEN YOU KISS IT, SO MAY ABSORB ITS POWER OF FLIGHT!

The rhythm. He couldn't explain it but he wanted to dance along, it actually looked… fun!

NOW YOU CAN ALSO DIVE BOMB FISH, BECAUSE YOUR VISION'S ENHANCED.

But before he knew what was happening, him and Poppy were being tossed in the air by her friends.

THIS IS THE COOL PATROLL DA-A-ANCE!

They threw them up again, and Poppy grabbed his hands. He looked down at their joined hands, then at her.

YOU'RE BASICALLY A SUPERHERO NOW, SO THROW SOME PODS!

He felt it then and there, he should tell her. He should tell her how he feels, how he's always felt.

THEN YOU CLAP YOUR HANDS TOGETHER, AND DEFY ALL THE ODDS!

When they landed Poppy began leading him somewhere, he was about to speak but then Poppy interrupted him.

NOW HARNESS ALL YOUR SEXY FURY IN A VICTORY STANCE!

She put a hand on his cheek letting it glide across his jaw line. Causing Branch to lose all motor function, then Poppy got behind him and started pushing him somewhere.

THIS IS THE COOL PATROLL DA-A-ANCE!

Branch looked forward, and saw Boulder and his friends. Suddenly realizing what was going on, Branch began to resist. "Wait Poppy, no!" But she kept pushing him forward, gently squeezing his shoulders to try and calm him. "Your training is complete, now go show those bullies who's boss!" She then shoved Branch who stumbled right up to Boulder, running right into his back.

The other trolls turned around, and there stood Branch. He had a lopsided leaf crown on his head, and his face was covered in glitter. He desperately tried to remember what Poppy had been saying this entire time, he slowly raised his hands. "You put your hands in the... air?" Boulder sneered at him, and reared back his fist.

When Branch hit the ground the snack pack all flinched, letting out a collective. "Ooooooooo!" Poppy let out a startled gasp, her eyes going wide and her hands covering her mouth. Then Smidge said. "OH MY GAWD!" As Boulder and his friends walked away, Branch just continued to lay there like a slug. Cooper slowly leaned towards Poppy, slightly whispering. "He might… He might actually be dead!"

AN: Hey everyone this is my first trolls one-shot, I hope you all enjoyed it. This fic is just going to be a collection of trolls one-shots, each focused around a song. This one is cool patrol by ninja sex party, the original song has a lot of profanity in it so I don't suggest looking it up unless you are 15 or older. Anywho post suggestions in the reviews to say which song you want next, it can be funny or serious. I'll see you guys next time, cyber high-five!