A/N: This fic is completely random and in some places, idiotic, with giant gaping plotholes (hence the title), and makes no sense whatsoever. If you don't like random idiocy, do not read this fic. It is strictly for fun.Second co-authoship fic by Dragonfly Rider and Canadian Pirate Queen. See disclaimer at end of chapter.
Of Portals and Plotholes
Fred & George POV (Harry Potter).
"I'm bored," George sighed as he lounged lazily on the coach at their apartment in Diagon Ally.
"I agree George, but what are we gonna do about it?" his twin, Fred, asked as he sorted receipts into piles in front of him. A shaft of watery sunlight illuminated his work.
Suddenly a noise like a plunger being extracted from a toilet sounded and a large orangish mist appeared in the middle of the room. Fred and George lept up, wands out.
"What the hell is that?" George exclaimed.
"No idea," Fred answered, looking the orange mist over warily. "What d'you –?" But he didn't finish the sentence. With another gutterial noise, they were sucked into the orange mist, and disappeared.
TMNT POV
It was a normal day in the lair. Mikey was watching Saturday morning cartoons, Don was in his lab on his computer, Raph was beating up the punching bag, and Leo was trying to meditate. Splinter walked into the room holding a cup of tea, something was bothering him, but he couldn't name what. Unbeknownst to them, two identical red haired teenagers were wandering around the sewers near the front door, wondering where they were.
Fred & George (Harry Potter).
"Well, as far as I can see Fred, we are somewhere dark, smelly and clearly not in London."
"I can see that George, the question is how and why are here?" Suddenly something, or a couple something's landed on their heads.
"OW" they both shouted in unison. Looking down they realized that it was several boxes of their Skiving Snack boxes, as well as some fire works. A soft hoot alerted them to a snowy white owl sitting on a drainpipe. And a loud meow brought attention to the cat sitting at their feet.
"Hello Hedwig, Crookshanks you stuck here too?" Fred asked holding out his arm as a better perch. Hedwig obliged and they continued down the dark tunnel.
TMNT POV
Don was surfing the net, just enjoying the piece and quiet of his lab, when the alarm went off signaling that someone was getting dangerously close to the lair. Thinking it was just sewer workers, he lazily checked the cameras. However that idea was quickly thrown out the window when the picture came up showing him two apparently identical red haired teenagers, one with a white owl on his arm, the other holding a jumble of stuff in his arms, and a cat walking by their feet. And they were heading right for the lair.
"OH MY GOD, IT'S THE WEASLY TWINS!" Don screamed at the top of his lungs. Outside his lab, upon hearing the scream, Mikey fell off the coach, Raph's fist missed the punching bag, causing it to smash into him, and Leo jumped a foot in the air, annoyed at being disturbed from his meditation. Don came running hysterically from his lab.
"IT'SFREDANDGEORGEFROMHARRYPOTTERIT'SFREDANDGEORGEFROMHARRYPOTTER." Don continued on, until he suddenly stopped, realizing that his brothers were staring at him with concern written all over their faces.
"It's ok Don," Mikey said patting his brother on the shoulder, "we all have nervous breakdowns once in a while."
"Uh, hello, who're you?"
Don was now positively bouncing like a kid in a candy shop.
"You're Fred and George, you're Fred and George! Can I have your autograph?"
Don's brothers looked at him worriedly.
Fred and George looked at him as if he was off his rocker.
Pop
"OW!" They all looked up to see two girls around thirteen sitting upside-down on the ceiling.
"Where the hell are we?" The one with auburn hair asked.
"We are upside down, that's the extent of my knowledge," said the black haired one.
They both looked down to the five staring mutants, two red haired teens, the cat and the owl.
"Oh, great" muttered the black haired one. Whatever spell had kept them up there gave way, causing them to fall loudly to the floor.
"OW!" They cried for the second time. When they looked up, all the turtles had their weapons pointed at them and the blue banded turtle demanded, "Who are you and what are you doing here?"
"Get those pointy knives out of my face." The black haired one demanded unexpectedly.
"They're not pointy knives, they're katanas!" Leo raged.
"I know what they are, they're pointy knives!" She said back to him. Meanwhile his brothers were trying to hide their snickers.
"That's nothing," said the one with auburn hair, "look at that, it's a stick!"
"It's not a stick, it's a bo staff!" Don retorted.
"Funny, doesn't look like the stick's in a bow." The auburn haired girl retorted.
Now that the turtles had a better look at them, they noticed that that the black haired girl was a tan, almost black colour and had strikingdark tealeyes. The auburn haired girl was almost white and had unusual florescent yellow eyes. They both had cat-like vertical pupils.
"What are your names?" Leo demanded yet again.
The two girls exchanged a look before the auburn haired girl replied.
"I'm Qranitarsiwabanku and this is Venarayjocplsinq." Everyone looked at her strangely. "But you can call her Cee and you can call me Jo." The black haired girl supplied.
"Uh okay, Cee, Jo, why are you here?"
"THEM" Jo screamed jumping up and pointing at the twins. "They're in the wrong dimension and we have to put them back." Fred and George started to look worried.
"Um how are you going to send us back?"
"We have absolutely no idea." Jo and Cee pronounced happily.
"In other words you're going to send us back, but you have no idea how so you're just going to do trial and error?"
"Yep now let's get to business. Jo you go stand on the over there by that metal box thing and I'll stand here by this door into-" she peered through the kitchen door "-this place with strange square and rectangle things."
"What incantation do we use, The Alphabet song, or Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star?"
"The Alphabet song of course, now let's get started. Fred, George, take the animals with you in between us, in the center… that's right. Now, Cunfudled, Tubuluse Tweek." They repeated this phrase twelve times before a huge swirling orange circle appeared behind the twins.
"That's funny," Jo murmured, "It's supposed to be… Oh shi-"
A/N: Okay, it's a cliffhanger. We have the second chappie finished, but we'd like to know if it's worth continuing it. So tell us in a review!
Disclaimer: Fred & George Weasley, Crookshanks, Hedwig, the Skiving Snackboxes, or anything else from that dimension belongs to J. K. Rowling. The TMNT and anything related to that dimension belong to Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. Jo and Cee are our creations, for us to maim and torment however we like. (identical evil grins) Oh, BTW, Cee is DR's and Jo is CPQ's, in case you were wondering.
CPQ: Flames will be used to warm this friggin' cold house!
DR: Hey, it's not that cold! (huddles inside blanket)
CPQ: (does not grace the comment with a reply.)
