Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, but I did invent the Moopy. I know you don't probably know about Moopies because they are only sold on Mars.

-the author

This is meant to be retarded! ok? It's FUNNY! HAHAHAHAHAHA

aRo'S pOv (really, what's up with the PoV?)

I was sitting. I was sitting not because I was tired, but because I felt like it. And no one can tell me what to do because I am Aro. Aro rules all. Aro controls all! And no one controls Aro!

Now that that's settled, I'd like to let you in on a little secret. I'm feeling dark. Like it? "Dark" is my "vocabulary" word for this "week" and I must be going "insane" because I'm "putting" air-quotes around "random" words... I think it was animal blood... *swallows* Yup, definitely the animal blood. Anyway...

I'm going to dominate the word! With bombs! I call it: Aro's World A-Bomb-In-Nation! Like it? Jealous? Yeah, I know you are. You're so jealous. You are so jealous of my wick-awesome last name: Smith. Actually, no one can pronounce my last name... Not even me! It's spelled: Paul. I know! I can't figure it out. I think it's: P-AJDSFNJ-U-L, but then... So, everyone just calls me "Aro Smith" I know. It's such an intimidating name, right?

I called my human guard person who had huge muscles and tattoos. He also had piercings in places I didn't know they pierced people in... Like the ear, for example. His name was more scarier than mine: Billy Bob Bow. I'm soooooo jealous. But we call him the scariest name that a five-year-old girl could possibly imagine: Bow!

"Bow!"

"I'm right here, master," Bow said sounding slightly annoyed.

Oh. That's right, I already called him. "Oh, well, Bow, go get me my Puffy. And my magic listening box."

"It's called a CD player, master."

"Right, now go!"

He sighed, slumped his shoulders and went to get my Puffy. Puffy is a Venous Fly Trap, and my magic listening box is pink with flowers. It creates music. DARK music. I giggled. I loved using vocabulary words.

I waited a bit, and finally Bow returned. I put my Puffy on my lap and took my magic listening box. I listened to the FUN song. Plankton is SO evil. He's... dark.

Many days later, (still listening to Plankton, of course) Caius came in. What was that I wanted to say? Uhhhhhhhhhh... Ummmmmm... UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM...

"ummmmmmmmmmm" I said aloud.

Caius jumped.

"Oooooommmmmmmmnnnnnhhhhhhh" I said like a monkey. I mean monk.

"What the hell?"

"Right! I remember now!" I started to sing "Amadeus", but instead of saying "Amadeus" I sang "Imma Caius"

"What the?..."

I sang forever.

"..."

Doo.. doo. doo-doo-doo

"Did you seriously just break into singing?"

OK, that didn't happen, but I really wanted it to. Let's backtrack.

"Oooooommmmmmmmnnnnnhhhhhhh" I said like a monkey. I mean monk.

"Right! I remember!"

"..."

"Aro's World A-Bomb-In-Nation"

"What?"

"Here's what happens: We throw bombs at famous monuments and famous people!"

"What? Why don't we just bite 'em?"

"Cuz!" I said like he was stupid. "It's more fun with bombs!"

"What kind of monuments?" he asked, jealous, most likely.

"Like! The Great Wall of Berlin! BWAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ... I mean China. Dammit, I always do that!

To Be Continued... Maybe...