Chapter 1: The Rain
It started to rain today. Unapologetically Pounding on the tin roof of the small RV my sisters and I lived in. The wind blew in ragefully and brought with it the first signs of winter. It sucked, feeling cold. No matter how much we prepared, the RV was not equipped to handle the winter and I am not ready to feel cold.
I tie my boots up and put a trash bag over my jacket with holes cut out of it for my head and arms. I then use a plastic bag to throw over my head and brave the wind and the rain to my buss stop. It felt stupid I had to catch the bus being 17 years old, but when you are poor life doesn't exactly remain fair.
Stepping outside I felt my face tighten as the rain pelted my face and I did all I could to keep the rain out of my hair and off of my makeup. I worked way to hard this summer to buy a good makeup kit so I can buy the makeup. I worked harder still to make it to these classes this year.
Honestly I surprised myself by doing so. Last year both of my sisters decided to drop out of high school to work at the Jawbreaker store. They used their new jobs to impress and flatter the guys they have chased after since we were small kids.
The Ed's. Ed and Eddy were simple to impress. All you had to do was get them through their undying love for Jaw breakers and suddenly you go from being mean, overbearing girls who fought them to get a kiss to being a means to an end. That means was all well and good for them to be happy with.
Ed was a simple, lovable, goof who had the I.Q. of a potato. May, my younger sister, was head over heels for him and the two could not have been a better match. They were simple, dumb, and loyal to those closest to them.
Eddy acted like the pack leader of the bunch. He always thought of schemes or tricks to earn a dollar so they could buy some jaw breakers. He was short tempered with an arrogance that filled the room. In his own way he is a lot like my older sister.
Lee always fancy herself the leader of us, being the older but May and I never let her take fun run of the reigns. Though she has always had a crush on Eddy, she always believed in tough love. Even now she gets a personal high from disrupting one of Eddy's many schemes. In truth, it was a very beautiful matchup that I know will happen sooner or later.
My Edd, or Double D as we call him, is different. He is refined, he is intelligent and cute and huggable and kissable and.. Sorry, I get ahead of myself when thinking of him in his black ski hat and large smile. When he was small he even had a gap in his teeth before he had braces put on a few years back.
He is more refined than to be impressed by a girl holding a small time job. I know he has to be impressed by someone who is as interested in knowledge as he is. That is why I not only stayed in school but studied my ass off to get AP courses my senior year.
It's a lot more homework and it really hurts the back part of my skull when I think about it or try to apply myself but it is worth it because now I share every class with my crush. A guy who stole my heart from the moment we met. It has been frustrating how much he seems not to notice me in the way I want him to notice me. I just hope that if I apply myself this year he will look at me in the same way I look at him.
That is why I can't let this damn rain mess up my make up! It takes me too long and I have worked way to hard to get where I am at for a little rain to ruin the day for me. So I cover my face the best I can and force myself on the bus.
When I get to class, advanced chemistry, i sit down at the front of the class. One table separate me and Double D and it was the only class we did not sit next to each other. I always hated being so far away from him, especially in a 'chemistry' class. When I sit down I smile as big as I can and wave to him. He doesn't see me though, his eyes waste deep into his book.
A strange man walks in and announces himself as a substitute teacher. He looks like someone took a brillo pad to his face and caught it on fire. Honestly, he had the face of a man who failed chemistry as a child- not like in a grade fail, like he caught the entire school on fire, fail.
The man looks across the room and I notice one of his eyes are abnormally larger than the other one. He looks over everyone until he locks onto Double D.
"Take that hat off now!" His raspy voice roars over my man.
Double D looks startled as he looks up at the teacher. He turns around before looking back at the man, his hand trembling as he points to himself.
"Me?"
"Who else! Now remove your hat NOW!"
"Don't you talk to him like that ass hole!" I jump up and shout.
The veins in his neck look like they are trying to escape as they bulge out. His face turns 7 colors of red as his fixes his goofy looking eyes on me. I step back from my desk and return the stair.
We began a shouting match. Trading insults and threats until smoke funnels out of his ears like an old 70's cartoon show. He grabs my arm and yanks me to the front of the class. Without even knowing what I am doing my reflexes take over and I punch him in his weird sized eye.
"Don't you EVER talk to Double D like that again and don't you E-V-E-R grab me!" I shout before storming out of class.
It's not the first time I've gotten in trouble in school but it is the first time I hit a teacher. I guess by now he is phoning the principle so I decide to head right there. It's a short walk anyways and I am already in enough trouble to try and create more for myself.
Needless to say he was not happy. I got a 30 minute lecture that ended in him threatening to expel me. At first I really did not give a damn. I was done being yelled at for the day and I didn't even mean to hit him! It was a reflex, it's not my fault he's a douche bag.
Thought the moment he left me to my thoughts a small knot started to build in my throat. I can't be expelled! I worked way to hard to share the same classes as Double D and I can't let that be for nothing. He would hate me if I got expelled, or worse, think I am a no one that isn't worth his time. I can't let that happen!
When the vice principal walked into the room I sprung up and closed my hands together in front of my face and begged for him to not expel me. I tried to bribe with him by telling him that I would even scrub the toilets if he wouldn't send me packing.
After a few moments of an anxiety fueled plea he finally calmed me down when he said I would only be suspended for a few days. For a brief moment I felt amazing. I could take a few days off, collect myself and hang out with my sisters, then be back in school with my Edd!
That brief moment ended when I watched my moms boyfriend walk into the office. He was dirty and he looked pissed. After a small talk with the vice principal, he had me follow him to his beat up truck.
The entire walk out felt like the green mile. I was being marched to my doom and he was the executioner. Since he moved in, my sisters and I did all we could to not be in the same house. Him and my mom would always get drunk or high and then fight. I couldn't stand it when he hit my mom, but every time we tried to do something, mom got mad and chased us out of the house.
The look in his eyes were grimminsing and I knew he was not happy about being called out from work to pick me up. The entire ride home was in silence. Each time the tire spun I felt smaller and smaller and wished I was under the hood, tuning the truck up, instead of being in the cab with him.
When we got inside of the RV he walked to the sink. The moment I closed the door he swepped his hands across the counter and sent the dishes crashing to the floor. Mom walked in from the back to see what was going on and both of us was frozen with fear.
He turned to me with venom in his eyes. His stair tore a hole through my soul as his hands shook with rage and my body shook with fear. It felt like I was alone in a dark world with only him in front of me.
"So you like to fight do you." He spat.
I turned my gaze to my shoes. I couldn't look him in the eyes and I wanted to make myself as small as possible. Maybe he would calm down if I acted weak. If I looked small and insignificant.
"LOOK AT ME YOU USELESS BITCH!" He screamed.
I jumped and attempted to make myself smaller as my eyes looked at his face. It was to much to do. His eyes were evil and everything in me was screaming 'Run, just run away now!'
"Honey." Mom started to say.
"Shut the FUCK up woman!" He yelled.
Mom's jaw was left hanging there as she took a few steps back. I felt betrayed. I looked at her for help and all I saw was a tear fall down her cheek as she turned around and walked into her room, closing the curtain so she could not watch what her boyfriend was about to do to me, her own daughter.
When I turned to look at him, my face felt like it caught on fire. He hit me in my left eye and I few back and hit my head on the door. White spots flickered in front of my eyes and it took every bit of my will to not pass out.
"I thought you liked to fight!" He screamed.
He opened the door I fell on and my body went face first into the cold mud. I heard his blood splash across the ground as he grabbed my by the hoodie of my jacket and drug me across the camp grounds.
I struggled to get enough strength in my legs to stand. This infuriated him and the next thing I feel is the air racing out of my lungs as his knee slams into my chest. He then punches me in my ear and I fall back into the mud as a flat like ring replaces the sound of the rain.
Before i can even realise I am on the ground he draws back his boot and kicks me in my stomach. Pain wraps itself around my body as I cough in pain, my body begging for air. I have been in a number of fights in my life, mostly with my sisters, but I have never been beaten like this. No one has ever hurt me like him.
He grabs a fist full of my hair and drags me to the wood line and slings me down the small hill and I tumble through the bushes. I am covered in blood and mud and I am soaked to the bone. Though even in this cold all I can feel is pain.
The pain from being beaten up. The pain of watching my own mother to allow this monster to attack me. The pain of knowing there is nothing I can do to defend myself when I thought I could be strong. He showed me I was weak. He showed me I wad alone.
"Yur not welcome here again!" He screamed.
He doesn't have to worry about that. I never want to walk into that hell again.
I lay there for almost an hour before I find enough strength to crawl out of the woods. The pain is still there but the adrenaline had disappeared and was replaced by the cold. I limped my way to the cul-de-sac. Each step became harder than the last. My legs became numb as all I could feel is the pressure of the meat in my legs jolt with every step.
My legs fail me halfway down the block and I fall to the sidewalk. I scrape myself back up and lean against a white picket fence. I wrap my arms around my legs and ball up and try to keep myself warm.
Maybe I deserve this. I have always been nasty to all of the kids here. Maybe this was Karma striking me back for all of the times I bullied the kids on this block. It waited until I actually tried to be a better person to remind me I am nothing. Just an ugly, blue haired, trailer trash bitch who isn't worth her weight in food.
Good one Marie, good one. Now I know better to ever try in this life. The worse bit of it all, today was supposed to be a good day. Guess that didn't happen. I have a mom who doesn't love me, a crush that won't look at me, I'm homeless, broken, and cold. It's just too much.
