I can't quite recall the exact moment when I realised I was in love with my best friend Ali, but I knew that I'd fallen unspeakably hard. All my friends were infatuated with her too of course, it's just that my feelings were a little 'next level' you might say'; that girl could capture minds and hearts.

I'd never really been a fan of blue eyes before, or blondes for that matter. In fact, I'd never even been attracted to a girl before Ali. There was just something effortlessly captivating about her, even down to the way she bit her nails and exhaled a drag of a cigarette – a habit I had also condemned before I saw Ali holding one expertly with such a sultry smile. Admittedly she was a total bitch; but a total goddess too. Ten minutes of her abuse whether directed at me or some other poor soul who happened to cross her path, was always worth the remainder of the time spent with her. Ali treated me a little differently than the other girls. And no, I'm not foolish enough to think she likes me too, I just think she's more than aware of how I feel and for once has the decency to respect that. After all, if there's someone out there, willing to love her so wholeheartedly and unconditionally, with no rewards, then of course they're going to be a little special; maybe even her favourite. Or maybe that's just me dreaming eh ?

I hear a heavy exhaling in my ear; ooh shit, back to reality. I'm with Allison, sprawled on the grass on her garden – the other girls have yet to arrive, making it ever the more torturous; i both love and hate our time spent alone together. I turn to my right – the exhaling was Allison, still smoking the cigarette one of the girls on the hockey team had given her when they first dropped her off home as I stood waiting for her hopelessly outside; or still showing off that should be. Thankfully she only appears to be a 'social smoker' as I love her natural scent and wouldn't want it tarnished. Is that creepy? It shouldn't be, she smells divinely sugary.

"You're quiet today!" she giggled almost teasingly, stubbing out the remainder of the cigarette on a flowerbed of what she knew full well were her mother's freshly planted geraniums before rolling over onto her back to look up at the sky. I laid back and joined her, observing the strange scarcity of clouds and the oceanic warmth of the sky – not too dissimilar to Ali's eyes.

"Sorry." I mumbled a little pathetically. I couldn't really think of a response other than that.

Ali turned onto her side, facing me; i could see it happening out the corner of me, and so rolled over and did the same. I thought she was going to say something, she had that smug, 'I'm about to make a witty comment' kind of face but instead, she smiled at me. A really heart-warming smile that wrinkled up her eyes. That could have been the sun, but there was just something in her eyes I'd never seen before – she looked so genuine; no games and no pretences. She had to be teasing me, she just had to be - she thrives off it i thought, suppressing one hell of a lump in my throat that felt like an anchor in my exhausted body. Then she just – bit her lip subtly, and innocently, yet these were two words I would never have reserved for Ali, before rolling to lay on her back once again. I didn't want her to get pissy with me for being quiet, I should make the most of the precious moments we had alone together where she treated me differently.

"How come the hockey team girls gave you a lift again? We waited for you" I said, regretting it instantly – sounding whingy and pissy as usual. How did Ali stand me?

" 'Cause… they knew I wanted to ride in the back with a certain cutie" she said it so sarcastically, but I knew she was playing it down. The way she paused after the first word though; she knew she had me hooked.

"The older guy you refuse to tell us about?"

"U-huh" the smugness evident in her voice as she squinted with the sun in her eyes.

"So he was in a car with 4 others girls, not even driving?"

"Yeah.. problem?" she teased, half giggling once again. She could tell I was getting jealous and I knew she loved it.

"No. It's just a little… I dunno. I guess most guys that hang around with a group of girls are like…major gay"

"Well I wouldn't be the one to know anything about that" her signature smirk surfaced, making my stomach churn like a washing machine. Shit. Why did I say that? I just walked right into providing her with her favourite joke.

"Sorry" i uttered pathetically once again, but this time mustering a weak smile.

"No need to apologise Em'. Everyone get's… curious from time to time" Her execution was perfect, it's a shame it wasn't at all funny to me. If I knew it was all in good jest it would be but once again I was her favourite little lapdog she knew she could rip the absolute shit out of without retaliation.

"So… anyone cute you're interested in at the moment Em'?" I hadn't thought it possible to feel any more awkward at this moment in time but there she went.

"No, not really" It was a swift answer, anyone else would have bought it. But Ali wasn't just anyone.

"I heard Ben likes you you know…"

"Ben who?"

"Ben Coogan! You know… tall… blonde… swims on the same team as you!"

"Oh that Ben… nah, I don't think he does."

"But if he did?…."

"Then no I'm not interested" I tried to smile and make a joke of it, but I think the severity of the situation was evident by my expression, as she stopped digging.

"I thought you liked blondes?" Or maybe she hadn't. The little wink she just did though; god she's unfair! I didn't respond, I just couldn't. It was practically a rhetorical question anyway – she was no fool. She knew of my feelings.

But then she did the strangest thing; she reached out her hand, and it cupped it in mine, tracing her thumb onto the back of my hand. Her hand was soft and warm, and slightly smaller than mine; and just like Goldilocks – it felt just right. Perfect in fact.

"I won't bring it up again" she said, I unsure as to her tone this time. Ambiguity was her middle name after all, right after tease and mindfuck.

Just as I began to mirror her sweet yet sultry smile, there was the sound of giggling girls in the distance, before the gate to Ali's yard burst open and Aria, Hanna and Spencer appeared, Ali dropping my hand instantly and standing up to greet them with seemingly genuine hugs. As they talked excitedly about the drink Spencer had stolen from Melissa's stash in the barn, I thought about her holding my hand, and the sweet little moments we had not only spent together today, but every other day. When we were alone together; it was like nothing I had ever felt before. It's when I was sure of myself – I wasn't such a shrinking violet. That girl made me feel alive, no matter how awful a human she could be. For a moment she turned her head away from the conversation to look at me – and she smiled. And that's when I knew for definite – fuck! I was in love.