Disclaimer: Still not mine.
Spoilers: Through Stan By Me.
A/N: My creative challenge today was to write about a fairly unlikeable character ('cause everybody's mad at Brandi) and to make it worth reading. I hope it worked. It is first person POV and I hope it captures what I imagine Brandi's thought process to be. I set this after the conversation between Brandi and Agent O'Conner but before they found Mary.
"Are you happy? 'Cause if my life had been a series of screw ups and disappointments like yours, I think I'd be pretty miserable."
That's what he said to me, when he was asking me about Mary and Chuck. That's what he said right before he showed me my arrest record, as if I didn't remember. I'd like to say that I did the best I could, only I am pretty sure that would be a lie.
I remember getting arrested when I was 13. Stealing drugs from a pharmacy… I didn't tell them it was for Mom, that she had asked me to do it. I mean, I am not some total victim here; she was going to share with me. She had been sharing the booze with me for a while. I don't remember where Mary was that night. She must have been at school or working or something. She was always gone, doing something to take care of us, but her being gone all the time didn't solve anything either. Mom seemed to get worse and worse without someone around to make her get it together. And I just couldn't be that for her. I couldn't be Mary and to be honest, I never had to and I never really tried.
It wasn't long after that arrest that I met Dean. He was so cool. He was 17 and in high school and had a car. Mary said he was just after one thing and to stay away from him and she was right. He was and I should have, but he also treated me real nice sometimes and I loved him. He was the first boy I loved and he said I was beautiful. I was with him when I almost got arrested for boosting a car. I did get arrested once for that, but it was later. I was with T.J. then.
And after T.J. there was Mike and then Jason. And a series of screw-ups and disappointments later, it was Chuck. I did get better at not getting caught, but I didn't get better at picking people to be around. And now it may get Mary killed… May have already, 'cause I just sat here, freaking out, not knowing what to do, watching the minutes pass until Spanky's deadline had come and gone. If that stupid agent hadn't cornered me, I would have given up the drugs. But what could I do? I couldn't exactly say "Hey, Mr. FBI Agent, I really need to run and trade these drugs for my sister's life, so can I get back to you on these questions?"
I never should have made that call. If I hadn't seen that baby and called it in, this wouldn't have happened. Or if I had said no to Chuck in the first place. I can't believe that I fell for it, him saying he
wouldn't love me anymore. I don't think any of them ever really loved me. Now I am pretty sure I don't deserve it anyway. I can't believe I let this happen.
He asked me if I am happy. And the answer is no. I don't even know what that means.
A/N2: Reviews are love! Please let me know what you think (both of Brandi and of this piece)!
