It's been a long time since I've written anything. I wrote a few stories, a long time ago, for Janeway/Chakotay. They're lost now, taken down from the website and server I had them on when my husband's crazy aunt found them, and saved on a computer that is long since dead. Kids and life caused me to forget that fanfiction even existed until recently. I told my husband that I blamed watching my son's favorite tv show with him for my current reading material. He asked if I was reading Transformers fanfic. I wasn't - I was reading Exodus. But he reminded me that it existed, and I went looking to see what was out there.

This is set after Predacons Rising. But I have not seen it - I've only read the synopsis. I won't see it until my son (who is currently 5) is old enough not to be traumatized by the ending. The end of season 2 was very difficult for him, even with my assurance that everyone was going to be ok. After reading everything OptimusXArcee that I can find, this got stuck in my head and needed to be written.

Disclaimer - I don't own these characters.


"I sense regret in your spark, my son"

"Yes"

"Regret for a mate"

"Yes"

"But you were not bonded"

"No"

Optimus looked upon Alpha Trion with sadness in his optics. He yearned to join with him in the Allspark, but his regrets for never bonding with his love held him back. He knew he had to let go of all aspects of his past life to become one with the Allspark, but he was having a hard time with it.

"Why did you never bond with her?"

"We felt it would be irresponsible, to bond and risk producing a sparkling during a war."

"I see." Alpha Trion looked at the mech before him and wondered. "A femme visits the Well of Allsparks everyday. She sits, so close to the edge I've often feared she will fall, or jump. She stays for hours, sometimes just sitting, sometimes praying, occasionally sleeping, usually crying. On the day of her shortest visit, she was accompanied by a young organic, a human, I believe. During her longest visits, others come and attempt to make her leave. She mourns for her mate. My son, is this your mate?" He projected an image of a femme, sitting on the edge of the Well, tears falling freely from her blue and lavender optics.

Optimus unconsciously reached for the image. "Arcee" he said, tears appearing in his own optics.

"She is beautiful"

"Beautiful, strong, kind, brave. . ."

"She misses you greatly"

"I miss her as well"

"Tell me of your regrets"

"Throughout the war, we looked forward to its end. We planned that, once there was peace, we could be together freely. We could bond, raise a family. We spoke of this in times when the war was at its bleakest; it gave us hope for the future. A future we intended to spend together, whether on Earth or Cybertron." Tears openly fell from his optics as he thought of all they would never have now. For years, he had shown his emotions only to Arcee, but now he was not Prime. He could cry if he felt like it.

"She wanted sparklings" he continued. "We both agreed that we could not start a family until the war was over, but I saw the longing in her eyes when she looked at the human children we came to see as partners. She wanted some of her own. I regret denying her the chance to be a mother. I hope that she can move on and find someone else; someone who can give her that."

He saw movement in the image of Arcee. "This is happening now?"

"Yes"

They watched as Ratchet sat next to her, concern filling his optics.


Arcee sat on the edge of the Well of Allsparks, as close to the edge as she could get. She contemplated jumping in, as she often did. She wasn't entirely sure anymore why she shouldn't. What did she have to live for without Optimus? Jack was back on Earth. The war was over. The team here didn't need her. She heard footsteps, and looked up as Ratchet sat beside her.

"Go away."

"Arcee. . ."

"I just want to be alone"

"We're all worried about you"

"Don't be"

"You can mourn him for as long as you need to, Arcee, but we wish you wouldn't do it alone."

"I need to be here. I need to be alone. My life, my future, my reason for surviving so long in the war, is in the bottom of this hole. What am I supposed to do now?"

"Mourn, survive, and move on. He wouldn't want you to grieve forever."

"Just let me be alone a while longer. I'll be back later tonight. "


Optimus didn't see Ratchet leave. He was sobbing uncontrollably now. He wasn't bonded to Arcee, but he could hear the pain in her voice, and he hated that he was the one who caused it.

"I should have found another way!"

"There was no other way. You did exactly as you were supposed to do."

"Giving up my life was not a hard decision. But causing the one I love so much pain..." he was so overcome with grief, he couldn't continue.

"You falling in love and thus being unable to join the Allspark due to your regrets is an unexpected wrinkle. It was not foretold in the Covenant."

"But everything else was?"

"Yes"

"So now what?"

Alpha Trion didn't answer. He turned to the large book beside him and slowly turned the pages, looking for words he could interpret in parts of the book that were not clear to him yet. What he found surprised him, but he knew in his spark it was the correct choice.

"You have to go back. "

"What?"

"You have to go back to her. Raise that family you spoke of. Live in peace."

Hope filled Optimus' spark, but he couldn't believe his audio receptors. "How?"

Alpha Trion closed his optics and said a few words in ancient Cybertronian. "Just climb"

"When can I go?"

"Now"

He needed no more telling. He simply said "thank you" and started to climb. It was difficult, but nothing he couldn't handle.


Optimus emerged from the Well several yards from where Arcee sat. He walked over quietly and sat beside her. She didn't look to see who was bothering her now.

"I told Ratchet I wanted to be alone. I'll go back when I'm ready. Please just leave."

"I'm afraid I cannot do that."

At the sound of his voice, she looked up, disbelief on her face and in her optics. "And now I'm hallucinating. Great."

"You are not hallucinating, Arcee." His voice was so gentle. She thought she'd never hear him speak again. But there was no way this was really him.

"Then who are you and why are you playing this cruel joke on me?" She demanded. "It isn't funny, and it's not helping." She looked back into the Well. If she was so far gone that she could see him next to her, maybe she should just jump.

"Arcee, it's me. Alpha Trion sent me back."

Now she was interested. A tiny bit of hope flared in her spark. Could this be real? "Why?"

"Everything that was done to restore Cybertron was written in the Covenant of Primus. Everything, except me falling in love with you. I couldn't let go of my regrets for the life we didn't get to spend together, so I was unable to join with the Allspark."

"So you're here to tell me to let go, so you can. . ."

"No." he interrupted her. "I'm here to live our dreams with you."

She looked into his optics, afraid to let herself believe him. If she wasn't hallucinating, she must be dreaming. She had slept here often enough. "I don't want to be dreaming."

"You are not dreaming, Arcee." He hadn't touched her yet. He reached out slowly, wiping tears from her beautiful face. At his touch, she gave in to her hope and threw herself into his arms. He wrapped them around her, holding her close. "I love you, more than anything. The war is over, and we're free to follow our plans. Arcee, will you bond with me, be my sparkmate?"

She looked up into his beautiful optics. She had missed him so much. Missed everything about him. Now they had the chance to follow their plans, she wasn't about to miss it, even if she was just dreaming. "Yes." She kissed him, melting into his embrace and crying tears of joy. "When?"

"Now"

"Ok"

She smiled as they both opened their chest plates, letting their sparks collide and bonding themselves together forever.

"Promise I'm not dreaming?"

"I promise."

"Then let's go home. I know some friends who are going to be very happy to see you."


I hope you enjoyed it! Maybe this story will leave me alone now :)