Chapter 1: Chocolate Covered Peanut Butter Pretzels

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and his stupid friends. I don't own the song 'Ignorance' by Kasey Chambers. I wish I did though, for both! Wads and wads of cash!

By: siriusis4ever

Chapter 1: Ninja Fighters are Attacking Mars

Rose- Mary, have you ever wished upon a star?

Mary- No, I don't usually look skywards...

Rose- **looks at star and makes a wish**

Mary- I think that was a plane.

Both- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! **Fly through time and space**

Mary- **Lands on a wooden floor** Ow! What did you wish for???

Rose- Uhhh... **looks around hallway** I wished for us to be in... Hogwarts.

**Two boys come into the hall, both have dark hair**

Mary- You idiot! Wait that's cool! Look at that boy over there!

Boy- Oi! Who are you?

Other Boy- Wow...

Rose- My name is Rose and this is Mary. Where are we?

Boy- We're at Hogwarts of course! My name's James Potter and my mate here is Sirius Black! You guys American?

Mary- Yeah...

Sirius- Nice name, Rose!

Rose- Thanks!

**A tall pale boy and a small watery eyed boy entered**

Sirius- Hey Moony, look what we found!

Remus- Good catch, Padfoot! Wormtail, none for you!

Peter- **whimpers**

Rose- Ok then. I'm famished! Lets get food!

Sirius- Foooooooooooooood!

James- (to Mary) Come with me milady! **offers arm**

Mary- **giggle** **blush**

Rose- **rolls eyes** Lets go! James, Sirius, Remus, and lowly Peter!

Peter- **looks sad**

Everyone, except Mary and James- **link arms and skip to great hall**

~In the Great Hall~

Dumbledore- We have two American exchange students! Please treat them with kindness! Hocus Pocus!

**food appears**

James- How did you know our names?

Rose- I have my ways! **winks** (A/n Mary this was my line first!)

James- What does that mean?

Rose- I dunno! **shrugs shoulders**

James- Now to my Lily!

Mary- Oh no you don't mister! **begins to passionately snog James**

James- GEROFF!

Mary- No! **drags into broom closet**

Sirius- Just let nature take its course!

Peter + Remus- Ewwww!

Rose- You dirty perv!

Sirius- It's one of my many gifts and talents! Look it's Snivellus. He Snivelly!

Snape- What do you want 'dog boy'?? **looks at Rose and gets nervous** Uh... um... hi... er...

Sirius- Snivelly meet Rose, Rose meet Snivellus!

Rose- You must be Severus Snape!

Snape- How did y-you know m-my name?

Rose- Like I said before I have my ways!

Snape- I-I'll just g-go... **turns and runs**

Peter- Hormones are rushing all around! **everyone stares** What I haven't said anything in a while! (A/n I used this before you too Mary! You always steal my phrases!)

Rose- Yeah whatever! Let's sing depressing songs! This one is by a sad muggle! It's called 'Ignorance'!

Don't wanna read the paper

I don't like bad news

Last night a man got shot

Outside the house of blues

I'd like to ignore it

I'd like to just pretend

That the reason for it

Is something I can comprehend

I don't listen to the radio

Last time it made me cry

Two boys went crazy

Fifteen kids died

And I don't know their families

I don't ask 'em how they're going

They're on the other side of the world

But it's way too close to home

I've got something to say

And I thought it might be worth a

mention

If you're not pissed off at the world

Then you're just not paying attention

And you can turn off the TV

And go about your day

But just 'cos you don't see it

It don't mean its gone away hey

We don't talk to our neighbors

They've got funny colored skin

We see 'em out on the sidewalk

But we don't invite 'em in

We only eat when we're hungry

And we throw the rest away

While babies in Cambodia

Are starving everyday

We risk our lives

We hit our wives

We act like everything is funny

We hide our pain

While we go insane

We sell our souls for money

We curse our mums

We build our bombs

We make our children cry

We watch the band

While Vietnam

Just watch their children die

Sirius- **tear, tear** You're putting me into mild depression.

Peter- You're making mine worse!

Remus- I thought that was pretty deep.

Rose- Thanks!

Sirius + Remus- Nice singing!

Hypnotized British Crowd- **tear, tear** All hail Sirius! Depression mild!

Snape- I thought it was r-rather deep, t-too.

Sirius- Ha! He can't even talk to a girl without stuttering!

Snape- I can! I am talking to you! Aren't I?

Sirius- Slap him, Peter! I'm too lazy, beautiful, and modest to! Slap him!

Peter- But!

Sirius- No buts! Slap him!

Peter- Ok... **slap**

Snape- Ow! **punch**

Peter- **feints**

Snape- My hand hurts!

Sirius- Stop your whining!

Rose- Awww! Sevi-wevi's hand hurts!

Snape- **nods, puppy eyes**

Sirius- Puppy love!

Rose- Shut up! Oops...

Hypnotized British Crowds- You told Lord Sirius to shut up! DIE!

Sirius- NO! She's too innocent! Are you?

Rose- My bro sold my innocence on E-bay...

Sirius- Oh well, at least you're experienced!

Rose- You're such a hormonal teenager!

Sirius- Your point being?

**two flushed people come out of a broom closet panting**

Mary- **pant** Wow **pant** he's **pant** good! **pant**

James- I **pant** think Lily **pant** would be better... Lily?

Lily- What!?

James- Do you want to snog?

Lily- I'd rather shag Snape!

James- Go ahead!

Lily- Ewww! Ok... I'll snog you!

James- **looks happy** Good! **pulls into broom closet**

Mary- I thought that snogging me meant something!

Rose- It's ok Mary! Why don't you snog Peter or Remus!

Mary- Ok...

Peter- Yeah! Snogfest!

Mary- Not you! Come Remus!

Remus- Ok.

Sirius- **bends down on one knee as if to propose** Rose, will you snog me?

Rose- No. I'm afraid of committing to one person! **hint hint wink wink**

Snape- Will you go out with me? For one date?

Rose- Ok!

Sirius- But I thought committing!

Rose- Later!

Snape- **sticks out tongue** Care for a walk?

Rose- Ok!