A/N not mine, I own nothing.

Wow, I'm on a roll lately. Answer to a challenge by Shelly on the FB page Babe and Plum family challenges. Take certain lyrics from the Ron Pope song, "In My Bones" and from Joe's POV write a one shot. The lyrics will be spread throughout and in bold italic font. This also plays off of my one shot called, Nature Calling. Thanks for joining me on another adventure.

Lynda

Cutting Deep

JPOV

After three years together, I finally did what was best for both of us. I asked her to come over for dinner one evening about a year and a half ago; I sat her down and we talked. The first time we ever really talked.

Flashback

"Steph, we love each other, right?"

"Yes," she said with a concerned look on her face.

"You know there's all kind of love, right?"

I could see a flash of something cross her face. She closed her eyes and sighed before she opened them.

"Where are you going with this, Joe?" She asked me.

"I've loved you since I was eight years old, but Steph I don't think it's the getting married and having a family kind of love. Ya know?"

"I'm sorry, Joe."

"It really isn't just your fault. I failed you as well. I've been pretty shitty towards you and you deserve better and the truth about us is we don't make no sense. Who knows, maybe Manoso will finally admit what the world already knows and will tell you how he feels about you."

"No, Joe he doesn't want anything more than friends with benefits and I won't risk my friendship with him like that."

"After three years of us trying, I think it's time we move on, don't you?"

She nods her head and I watch the tears fill her eyes. I hated seeing her like this, but you know the saying; If you love something set it free, it will come back if it was meant to be.

"I want to see you fly, Cupcake. I can't cage you up, it isn't fair to either of us."

"I do love you, Joe," she says softly, as she walked out the door for the last time.

"I love you too, Steph."

end flashback

She had gone to work full time at Rangeman four weeks after we split up. I cheered her on silently from the sidelines. I watched her take flight. She deserved this and so much more.

I saw her begin to withdraw into herself, not dating or going out with her girlfriends. Her smile stopped reaching her eyes. I almost went to her and carried her away from the hurt and pain she was feeling. I wanted to kiss it all away. Thankfully, that eventually changed and her smile was back.

I found out that about six months ago Manoso finally manned up and they got married. She is happy now and I am sure I'll be just fine; If I remember she wasn't ever mine.

Honestly, when we made love our love was just pretend. At least that's what I'm trying to convince myself, even though it was cutting me deep inside.

Now, I'm trying to forget her; though I feel her in my bones. I will always love her, but maybe someday I'll find someone for me.

Today, when she pulled me aside, she thanked me for giving her the chance to fly. I hugged her close and breathed in her scent, just one last time. I think I was shocked a little when Manoso thanked me as well; for loving her enough to let her go.

All I want, is to know that she is happy and I wonder if she thinks of me at all.

A/N I know it's short, but it seems like the perfect place to stop. Shelly...I hope you know how hard it was for me to write Joe as a good guy...I think I threw up a little.