BECOME ONE?
1. I, upon signing this form agree to become one with Russia.
2. Russia may use me for whatever purposes he chooses, including but not limited to: ally in war, defense, financial aid, and friend. I may, also, use him as I wish.
3. I am expected to either visit Russia or invite him to visit me at my home at least once per week. My home must always be stocked with plenty of vodka.
4. This contract can only be broken by declaring war on Russia. Therefore, breaking this contract will lead to my death.
SIGNATURES
Myself - Russia
