This week's episode of the SLEEPING FICS! Is:
Why the hell do we have to do this?
OR
Why red-headed children are no fun
Or the working title:
Sleeping's baby-sitting job (Trust us, it's no fun)
Produced by: Norsehound
Special effects by: Quintisons (Hey, they have to have credit for something)
Comical relief and funding by: YOUR PANTS!
Understood and translated by: ANYTHING OTHER THAN A MICROSOFT PRODUCT!
Special thanks goes to: MEGATRON! For being the scapegoat of the Sleeping series (You know he wouldn't have survived two fictions with the seductive bed anywhere in a mile's radius of the DeceptiBed)
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FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE NO FRIGGING IDEA WHO SLEEPING, FUBAR, THE BEDMASTERS, OR HAVE NO CLUE WHATSOEVER AS TO WHAT THE HELL HAS BEEN GOING ON, WE ARE GOING TO LET GRIMLOCK EXPLAIN WHAT HAS HAPPENED:
Grimlock: "Ehh…Me Grimlock remember the flying bed and…wait! That a dream! But er…Me Grimlock remember flying bed with toaster oven and blender that came and attacked and destroyed and then became big movie stars! Then they have big rave party and get Grimlock and Autobots drunk and-"
Sludge: "But Grimlock forget about Fubar and THE VOK and the other things!"
Grimlock: "Me Grimlock not finished with story!"
Sludge: "Sludge finish!"
Grimlock: "Grimlock finish!"
Krunk: "Krunk smash!"
ANYWAY, SEEING THAT THE DINOBOTS AND KRUNK ARE BRAINING EACH OTHER SENSELESS, WE ARE GOING TO LET …. BLUR FINISH THE REST OF THE DETAILS
Blur: "Soanywayicameinandsureenoughtherewasmegatronandhisdecepticonlawyerswhowereg oingtosuethepantsoffoftheotherdecepticonssoiwentinthereandgavethemapeiceofmy mindsonowmegatronsbecomeashrubberandthebedmastersdefectedtosleepingssideande verythingbecameallhappyandshiny."
ANYWAY, WITH ALL THIS JOTTED DOWN AND PROPABABLY ILLEGABLE, WE WILL CONTINUE WITH……….NORMAL PROGRAMING……I THINK.
And now for something completely different:
Soundwave, great thinker, tape player, and father to the cassettes…
Was very careless in leaving the shrink ray within reachable hands of Rumble and Frenzy.
"Hey! What does this do?" Asked Frenzy as he waved the small pistol around.
Rumble shrugged; "Pull the trigger!"
Frenzy pointed at rumble and clicked the trigger.
Rumble shrunk down to half his size.
"Woa!" He called in a tiny voice, "That was cool! Is there a reverse button?"
"I hope so…." Replied Frenzy and found it. Then he fired at Rumble and Rumble returned to his normal size.
"That was cool!" Cried Rumble.
Then Soundwave walked in.
"What are you kids doing?" Asked Soundwave in mono sound.
"Look what we found!" Cried Rumble as he waved the shrink ray around.
"Rumble, put that down before someone gets hurt." Replied Soundwave and moved for the gun.
But then Soundwave found himself half the size of the cassettes.
"You kids better put me back to normal size!" Ranted Soundwave.
"Hey!" Smiled Rumble, "We should do this to the other guys!"
"Yeah!" Cheered Frenzy.
Then a giant hand came around Rumble and plucked the tiny gun from Rumble's hand.
"No fair!" Cried Rumble.
Fubar the combiner waved a finger, "Now Rumble, you know you shouldn't be playing with strange weaponry. You know what happened to your great cousin…um….Shingles. Yeah! Shingles."
"What happened to him?" Asked Frenzy.
"Well," Said Fubar, "From what I was told he was playing with a device created by THE VOK™ and for some odd reason or another he was turned into a lemon."
"Hey! How did you know about Singles?" Asked frenzy, "You were only created in the second fic!"
"Would it help to say this lemon told me?" Asked Fubar and held up a Lemon.
No one laughed.
"Okay, maybe we should focus on getting Soundwave back to normal…well…as normal as he can get anyway." Replied Fubar as he turned the dial and fired at Soundwave, growing him back to normal size.
Soundwave glared down at the cassettes, "That's it you two, you're grounded." He opened up his chest, "Get in my chest now."
"Aww do we have ta?" Asked Frenzy.
"Playing with your father's toys is only reserved for your father and his friends." Replied Soundwave as he waved a finger, "Now get in here!"
Both cassettes transformed and entered Soundwave's chest.
Fubar returned the shrink ray to Soundwave, "Perhaps you should put this in a safe place."
"Nah." Shrugged Soundwave and broke it, "I actually got it at a novelty store down the street. Only 12$."
"What else did you get there?" Asked Fubar.
"Well," Said Soundwave, "I got this strange monkey's paw…"
They both looked up and listened to the eerie music playing in the background. Fubar turned around and hit the OFF button on the CD player before turning back to Soundwave, "Go on."
"I also got a good deal on these." Said Soundwave and produced three items from his back pocket.
One of them was a box to a Microsoft windows program, the next was a Playschool toy, and the last one was a self-help book with the picture of a smiling balding man on the front.
"…You got a good deal on these?" Asked Fubar and picked up the self- help book, "103 ways how to improve your lifestyle…Well I can name off some of us who need this, but do you really need the playschool whatzhamagig and the Windows ME edition?"
"Actually," Hummed Soundwave, "I was going to teach Laserbeak, Buzzsaw, and Ravage how to read, and the Microsoft product was to be used in the next fic. But then I discovered something unusual about these three products that made me buy them."
Fubar lifted a finger and spoke, "………….This is going to be one of those important plot thingies again isn't it?"
"I think so." Replied Soundwave, "How could you tell?"
"Well they all say so on the labels." Replied Fubar as he flipped around the Self-help book and read the inscription, "Warning: Plot device. In case of an emergency throw through the nearest window and use the stairs. Forget the elevator. Batteries not included. Made in China."
"The whole world's made in China." Replied Soundwave and went on, "As I was saying, these things are all transformers."
"What!?!?!" Asked Fubar before turning around and unplugging the CD player before the dramatic music could thunder through the room.
"Yes." Replied Soundwave, "Transform."
The Playschool toy, Windows box, and Self-help book transformed.
Soundwave pointed at each, "Rymatron , Phonixor, and Microsofter."
"Hey wait a minute!" Said Fubar, "You guys were mentioned in the Return of Sleeping aren't you!?"
"PANTS!!!" Cried Phonixor.
"What?" Asked Fubar.
"THE SWEEDISH BIKINI TEAM!!!" Answered Phonixor.
The Microsoft box said, "BUY ME!!"
"Slick and Dick rhyme." Pointed out Rymatron .
Fubar wondered why in existence these Transformers had come into existence and what the hell they were doing in this fiction.
But then again, as it said prominently on their butts, they were indeed plot devices.
"Hey, where's everyone else?" Asked Fubar.
"SUGAR CUBES!!!" Screamed Phonixor.
Fubar lifted a foot and stomped it down, crushing Microsofter in mid- sentence, "100% SATISFACTION GURANTEE- STOMP!!!"
Fubar cracked a smile, "Anyone else want to talk?"
None of the other plot devices spoke a word.
"Now then," Asked Fubar, "Where is everyone else?"
Soundwave replied, "They went to the animation committee of…Animation…I think."
"They sound pretty well informed." Said Fubar.
Meanwhile, Starscream was drumming his fingers in the board meeting.
Anime and Cartoon representatives were everywhere in the massive room, looking like something out of the new Star Wars movie with the committee and-
Anyway, the three guys in the center of the room looked like dead ringers of those Decepticon lawyers Megatron almost snuffed them out with.
In fact Sleeping was positive the Decepticon lawyers were the same guys on the committee, for they were still wearing the little pins that Megatron issued to all his lawyers.
But for some reason this didn't matter as one of them spoke in Monotone, "We are here to welcome the Sleeping Decepticons-"
"It's SLEEPING'S DECEPTICONS!" Protested Rumble. Frenzy waved a fist, "PUT AN APOSTROPHIE IN IT!"
"Thank you for the clarification." Replied the monotone, "As I was saying before I was…corrected, We welcome the Decepticons. And for an initiation, we have a task for you."
"Shoot." Responded Sleeping.
The lawyer paused for a moment before saying, "Since the not-name department because of a joke gag in a moment has been experiencing…uh, Technical difficulties."
"I'll bet he's reading that off the inside of his glasses!" Called Rumble.
Frenzy waved a fist, "I'll bet!"
Sleeping looked over at Frenzy, "You're not in a good mood aren't you?"
"I'm taking anger lessons from Pissed!" Replied Frenzy as he waved a fist, "You should try it, It's very relaxing."
A sweatdrop formed on Sleeping's head and everyone in the Decepticon bench looked at it.
"Hey! That's a first for the Sleeping fics!" Called Thundercracker, "We've never had a sweatdrop until now!"
"We'll celebrate later." Said Starscream, "I think they're getting around to saying something meaningful."
"With these guys, not likely." Replied Sleeping.
The lawyer talked, "Yak yak yak blah blah dribble dribble dribble and so for your initiation we are tasking you to baby-sit three members who are at the moment without a home."
The Deceptions crowded near the edge of the platform and glared down at the three figures that emerged.
A redhead, a blue-head, and a black-hared person. The first two were girls, the last a guy-
-WE WILL INTERRUPT YOU TO TAKE A FEIW SECONDS FOR YOU TO GUESS WHO THESE PEOPLE ARE AND WHERE THE HELL THEY ARE FROM. IF YOU HAVE NO IDEA OR DO NOT WATCH THE TELEVISION OFTEN THEN YOU CAN FORGET IT AND SO ON AND SO FORTH. IF YOU ABSOLUTELY HATE ANIME IT IS NOT YOUR DAY. UNOFORTUNATELY FOR OUR HEROES THEY ARE GOING TO HAVE TO BABYSIT-
"Asuka Soryu Langly, Rei Ayanami," Voiced the lawyer, "And uh…Shinji Ikari-"
-FROM-
"The-"
-ANIME-
"Will you let me finish?"
-SORRY. GO ON WITH YOUR MONOTONE SPEAKING AND I WILL GO HIDE IN A CORNER. THANK YOU-
"As I was saying," Droned the Lawyer, "These three children from the Anime series Neon Genesis Evangelion will be your charge for a period of five days. If you survive for that long you are admitted to the animation club with all the spiffy benefits and privileges theory."
"Yay." Chimed all the lawyers.
The leader went on, "You will also be able to use the very clean bathroom and enter the very special bar on level 36 and so on and so forth."
Sleeping looked over at Rumble and Frenzy, who had blank looks on their faces as they stared down at one of the trio down below. Sleeping waved a hand in front of their face and turned to Starscream, "Hey, something's stunned the Cassettes!"
"Let me see!" Replied Starscream and waved his hand in front of the Cassettes, then said, "If you can understand what I'm saying raise your hands."
Nothing.
"Hmm…okay, when we get home you can play with the ultra-big speakers and shake the world."
Nothing.
"Uh…okay, how about we raid the Autobot ark and steal Teletran so you can bring it home and play with it. How does that sound?"
Nothing.
Starscream rubbed his chin, "Sounds serious…"
"What do you think we should do?" Asked Sleeping.
"Well," Started Starscream, "We should get these two back to base and have their heads examined. Next, we should square away the rooms for our guests. And third," Starscream indicated Sleeping, "Find out what the hell an Evangelion is."
-SOMETIME MUCH LATER-
Soundwave had the two Cassettes connected to the main computer.
"So what's this going to do again?" asked Starscream.
Soundwave replied, "In theory we should be able to read their minds." Replied Soundwave.
Then Sleeping entered and asked, "Wait a second…I just remembered something! Didn't we leave Rumble and Frenzy here with you?"
Soundwave paused, "Yes you did." He opened up his chest, "They aren't here."
Starscream asked, "And you just noticed that?"
Sleeping shrugged, "I was more concerned about the meeting!"
Starscream turned to another subject, "Are our guests squared away?"
Sleeping answered, "Well, The redheaded girl…eh…Asuka, is still giving Fubar the whole list on what she wants her room to be like, Rei's sitting quietly in her empty room, and The boy Shinji…er…well let's just say he and Sleepy are…sharing a symbolic relationship."
"So he dropped off to sleep." Said Starscream.
Sleeping answered, "Well… He fainted. Sleepy just happened to be nearby so…"
"I get it." Replied Starscream and asked, "Just out of curiosity, do you think we'll be able to survive this?"
"Probably not." Replied Sleeping, "That redhead's already got a list of demands as long as Devestator's leg, so I doubt we'll be able to keep her happy. Rei's…well…creepy….and Shinji's probably not going to be conscious most of the time."
"…Well that some problems out of the way." Smiled Starscream.
Then Soundwave spoke up, "I have a picture."
Both leaders looked at the screen.
A big image of Asuka was pasted on the screen.
"Who's imagination is that?" Asked Starscream.
Soundwave had an answer, "Both of theirs. They are thinking of the same thing."
Silence.
"Well…" Said Sleeping, "I think we've identified the problem child."
"No duh." Answered Starscream and asked, "Isn't it always the redhead?"
"They tend to be the most tomboyish." Replied Sleeping and then added, "Straightjackets are standing by-"
"I don't think we'll be needing them." Frowned Starscream, "From the rumors I've read on this girl, we're not going to be able to fit her in a streightjacket."
"Even unconscious?" Asked Sleeping.
Starscream replied, "Even if we somehow managed to knock her out and find someone quick enough to put it on, it wouldn't work."
Sleeping sighed, "Well that's just beautiful."
Then the redhead entered, behind her Fubar entered with a large stack of paper.
She demanded, "Which one of you's the leader!?"
Soundwave and Starscream pointed at Sleeping, who in turn arrowed at Starscream's skullcap, "He is."
Asuka pondered this for a second before dismissing it, "Anyway, I've finished the list."
"I'm assuming that Fubar's holding it." Spoke Sleeping.
"How did you know?" Asked Asuka as Fubar slammed down the large stack of paper.
Sleeping removed a sheet and examined it, "My God…"
"What?" Asked Starscream in a low tone.
Sleeping pointed at the sheet, "Fubar's handwriting is incredibly small! I was thinking one letter per page, but this is absurd!"
Fubar shrugged, "What did you expect? We're doing a Sleeping fic after all-"
"A Crossover actually." Frowned Asuka, "Now then, do you have anything to eat?"
"……..uh………." Replied Sleeping and exchanged glances with Starscream.
"You mean you didn't go grocery shopping?" Fumed Starscream.
Sleeping answered, "I sent the Vehicons to do it. God knows what happened to them…"
"I think it may have been a serious mistake to send the Vehicons." Frowned Starscream, "You know most of them can't read."
"…..Oops…." Spoke Sleeping.
Starscream opened a hand, "And furthermore, half of them couldn't even make it through the door!"
"Maybe sending the Diagnostic drone solo was probably a better idea." Thought Sleeping aloud.
Asuka cried, "I'M HUNGRY!!"
Then she turned to the screen.
Soundwave looked up at it and noticed it still had her picture on it.
Uh-oh.
"Why is my picture on the screen?" She asked, crossing her arms.
"It's just some information-" Soundwave said, his hand inching towards the button.
"Are you sure?" She asked.
"Y-Yes…" Hummed Soundwave, and for the first time started to break out in a sweat.
"Huh." Frowned Asuka.
Soundwave was nearly at the switch off button….
"HEY! I DON'T WEAR THAT!!" Screamed Asuka.
Soundwave accidentally hit a button.
The Cassettes woke up and looked around.
"Hey!" Cried Rumble as he noticed his head was attached to several cables.
"What's going on?" asked Frenzy.
Then they turned around to see Asuka.
Sleeping and Starscream did a double take as they realized what they were seeing.
Rumble and Frenzy were on their knees, looking up at Asuka with hearts in their eyes.
"WOW! YOU'RE GREAT!" They both called, their heart-eyes beating, "CAN YOU GO OUT WITH ME?"
They both looked at each other and screamed, "I ASKED FIRST!"
"Oh God…" Muttered Starscream and slapped his face.
Sleeping watched as Asuka cried, "WH-WHAT IS THIS!?!?"
The two cassettes started fighting over Asuka and Sleeping took her by the shoulder, "Um…how about we find you a big pillow until we file through your requests and fix up your room. I'll get the Vehcon's tails in gear and get some food."
"Humph." Grumbled Asuka, "Well, as long as you're quick about it."
As Sleeping led their guest away Starscream pointed at the Cassettes, "That's it! Get them separated!"
Fubar reached into the cloud of swinging fists and other body parts and pulled them both out, still kicking and screaming to fight each other.
Starscream shook a fist, "YOU TWO AUGHT TO KNOW BETTER THAN SETTING YOUR EYES ON THAT um HUMAN FEMALE!! SHE DOES NOT DESERVE THE ADVANCES OF A TRUE DECEPTICON WARRIOR! HOW ASHAMED OF YOU!!!"
Rumble froze in mid-swing, "But…She's so…hot…."
"She's got a nice butt!" Added Frenzy.
Soundwave fumed, "We won't hear any of that young cassette!"
"But she does!" Replied Frenzy.
"And big breasts!" Smiled Rumble, "They're bigger than any fembot I've seen!"
"STOP IT BOTH OF YOU!!!" Screamed Starscream, "I don't want to see either of you goggling over the certain female guest we happen to have, and if I see any sort of that You will wish you were never created."
After the room settled, Fubar spoke up, "Wow."
"When he goes underline, it must be serious…." Guessed a nearby Thundercracker.
"They don't call me Starscream for nothing!" Smiled Starscream and turned serious, "Now! Put them into separate boxes or something and make sure they're FAR apart!"
"How about putting them on opposite ends of the ship?" Suggested Soundwave.
"I don't care." Frowned Starscream, "As long as they are nowhere near our guests."
Fubar nodded and ran off down a corridor.
Starscream slapped his face when they were gone and muttered, "Somehow I think all of this is a set-up for us to fail."
"Don't fret Starscream." Reassured Soundwave, "Asuka is the only problem child we have to deal with. If we can contain the situation, we should be able to get through this in one piece."
Starscream nodded, "Maybe you're right. Then again," Thought Starscream, "We do have another Rave party being held… Maybe we can bring these rugrats along to pacify them?"
Soundwave replied, "Unfortunately that's impossible Soundwave. We can only do so much in a single fic, and a Rave is a very dedicated thing."
"You're right." Frowned Starscream, "Well there has to be some other way we can keep that redhead quiet…"
Soundwave shrugged, "Maybe locking her in her room would suffice."
"It would work," Nodded Starscream, "But we'd get the bad rep for locking our guests up in their rooms…a Rep I don't want. So maybe we should…."
After locking up the two Cassettes, Fubar returned to the command room to see everyone basically lounging.
The beds were in one corner, all sleeping soundly with some other Decepticons wrapped up in the sheets and also asleep…except Sleeping, who was probably elsewhere. Thundercracker, Dirge, Thrust, and Ramjet were playing a game of Ping-Pong on a rather large court, and Devestator was arm- wrestling with Astrotrain.
Fubar was about to say something but just then Skywarp walked in and announced, "Has anyone seen my teleport chip?"
"Your what!?" Asked Dirge before the ball hit him in the head and somehow KO'ed him.
Skywarp answered, "My Teleport chip! I can't teleport without it!"
Thundercracker lowered his paddle, "You lost your teleport chip? How can you loose it! It's in your body isn't it?"
"I left it out this morning when I took a shower." Explained Skywarp, "And now I can't find it!"
"Why don't you look in your room?" Replied Devestator.
"Did you even SEE Skywarp's room?" Asked Thundercracker.
Ramjet rubbed his cone head, "Didn't you say Skywarp had a weird radioactive lizard thing in his room?"
Skywarp cocked an eyebrow, "Thundercracker, you said WHAT!?"
Thundercracker responded, "It's true though."
"No it isn't" Frowned Skywarp, "Godzilla isn't a lizard."
"Godzilla?" asked Blitzwing. Astrotrain was staring down Devestator and none of them were getting anywhere.
Skywarp sighed, "Has anyone seen my teleport chip? Just say yes, or no."
"No." They all answered.
"It's two inches wide for cryin' out loud!" Cried Thundercracker, "How the hell is anyone supposed to see something two inches wide and be able to remember it!?"
Then Soundwave entered.
"Soundwave, have you seen my teleport chip?" Asked Skywarp.
Soundwave remembered, "No."
"See!" Replied Thundercracker.
Soundwave asked Fubar, "Have you secured the two Cassettes?"
"Yup." Saluted Fubar.
Just then Rumble and Frenzy strolled into the room, spotted Soundwave, turned and ran.
Soundwave looked to Fubar for an explanation.
The combination of Kitchen appliances could only shrug.
"Hey!" Rumbled Skywarp, "Those rugrats have my teleport chip!"
"How did you know?" Asked Thundercracker.
Skywarp ranted, "Because…um….Because…."
Dirge handed Skywarp a cue card and Skywarp read off it, "Because- it's-an-intuition-and-gut-feeling….hey why am I reading off this?"
He tossed the card and it KO'ed Devestator, letting Astrotrain win the game and collect the large pile of cash sitting on one end of the table.
Skywarp replied, "Because I'm smart enough to put a homing beacon on my chip."
There was a pause before Thundercracker rumbled, "THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU USE IT BEFORE!!!???"
Skywarp replied, "Because it has a radius of FIFTEEN FEET!!!"
"Oh." Thundercracker whimpered.
Soundwave announced, "I think I've figured out how the Cassettes escaped and got from here to the meeting."
"So they swiped Skywarp's Teleport Chip. Dandy." Said Fubar, then a look of horror crossed his face, "Er…if Asuka's taking a bath then-"
The scream could be heard even underwater.
"Should we go help?" Asked Fubar.
Soundwave spoke up, "Reading Asuka's profile, I'd say Rumble and Frenzy would need the help."
Skywarp exploded, "WOULD SOMEONE GET ME BACK MY TELEPORT CHIP!?!?!"
"You can go get it." Said Soundwave and Fubar at once.
Just then the doorbell rang.
"I'll get it…" Said Fubar and walked to the door at the other end of the room and opened the door.
He was run over as a number of people entered.
Soundwave did a double take.
"Who the hell are those guys!?" Demanded Thundercracker and pointed.
Standing in the doorway were the post-movie Decepticons.
Scourge Growled, "Is this the sleeping fic HQ?"
"Yes," Replied Soundwave, "What are you doing here?"
Tripticon rammed his nose into the door, "We want an appearance!"
Then Sleeping entered and looked at the nose that poked though the door, "My god, is the angry mob back?"
Soundwave spoke, "These Decepticons want an appearance."
Sleeping rumbled, "Hey! If you guys want an appearance you'll have to schedule it! We're in the middle of one right now!"
Scourge complained, "BUT WE WANT AN APPEARANCE NOW!!!"
Sleeping replied, "You guys aren't good for anything! Besides, your post-movie selves are much better than you ever where!"
Dirge called, "Buzz off!"
Just then Predking entered, "Hello." He said.
Sleeping looked up. "Hi there."
The Predicon warrior looked down at the Bedicon, "You're Sleeping?"
"Yup." Answered Sleeping, "Why?"
"I just wanted to reserve a spot for the next fic." Replied the Combiner.
"We can do that." Smiled Sleeping, "Receptionist up-stairs."
"Got it." Said Predking and walked out.
"Hey! What about us!" Ranted Scourge.
Sleeping pointed, "You can go register! Or we can scratch you off the guest list for the next rave party!"
With this, the Decepticons retreated back and replaced the door.
A Flattened Fubar asked, "Can we get on with the story now?"
Thundercracker asked, "Oh, and whatever happened to Rumble and Frenzy.
The two Panicked Cassettes appeared in the room and wailed, "HIDE US!!"
"Why?" Asked Soundwave.
Something nasty was coming down the hallway.
They all turned to see a very big and very nasty Evangelion unit two squeeze through the hallway door and occupy most of the room.
"Oh dear…" Frowned Dirge.
Just then Devestator stood to his full height and looked up at the Eva, "Hey! Go back to your room!"
"Why should I?" Asked Asuka, "THOSE GUYS ARE GONNA PAY FOR PEEKING IN ON MY BATH!!"
"You did WHAT!?" Asked Soundwave and looked at the cassettes.
"Hey, we're only kids!" Replied Rumble.
Frenzy nodded vigorously.
But then something entered that was even more furious than the rampaging Evangelion:
A very pissed off Starscream.
He pointed and spoke (In italics because it's very important and Starscream is very Pissed off)
"CASSETTES!!! YOU HAVE ANGERED OUR GUEST AND MYSELF. PREPARE TO DIE!"
"SAVE US!!" Cried both cassettes as everyone watched Starscream catch fire with anger and pick up both cassettes and walked into a closet.
-SOMETIME LATER (AND AFTER MUCH NOISE, THROWING THINGS, TIME, FIREY ANGER AND THINGS THAT BLOW UP WHEN YELLED AT)-
The door knocked and Sleeping answered it.
The Lawyer stood there.
"How are the children?" He asked.
"Safe." Replied Sleeping.
"I have come to collect them and give you this." Replied the lawyer.
Sleeping took it, examined it, and opened the folder that was handed to him.
Inside was a little card.
"You passed." It said.
"Well…that's comforting." Said Sleeping, "I'll tell the others."
"Good." Replied the lawyer.
An unscathed Rei arrived first, saying, "I am undamaged." Before walking out the door.
Next was a dead-to-the-world Shinji Ikari, who was still unconscious from seeing his bed transform. Of course, tired rolled him out and dumped him on the floor.
Last to come was Asuka, guarded by Thundercracker and Dirge- armed with very big blunt objects.
The agent arched his eyebrow.
"We had some disagreements…" Said Sleeping.
Asuka didn't complain and spoke to Sleeping, "I'm sorry I caused such a mess."
"Don't worry." Replied Sleeping as he patted her on the shoulder, also passing the very big check to her behind her back, "Maybe next time we won't have so many problems."
"I hope so too." Smiled Asuka as she was shown out.
After they left, Sleeping went aft and entered the 'special' room.
"Are you done yet?" Asked Sleeping.
Soundwave was busy with a hammer, chisel and mallet trying to re- shape the cassettes. Preceptor and Ratchet also came over to help out to reform the shapeless lumps of metal that had once been Frenzy and Rumble.
"We're getting there." Nodded Soundwave, "At least we found this." And held up the two-inch teleportation chip that belonged to Skywarp.
-----------------------------------------------
fin
Okay, it probably wasn't as absurd as the last one, but hey, there's still more to come
Why the hell do we have to do this?
OR
Why red-headed children are no fun
Or the working title:
Sleeping's baby-sitting job (Trust us, it's no fun)
Produced by: Norsehound
Special effects by: Quintisons (Hey, they have to have credit for something)
Comical relief and funding by: YOUR PANTS!
Understood and translated by: ANYTHING OTHER THAN A MICROSOFT PRODUCT!
Special thanks goes to: MEGATRON! For being the scapegoat of the Sleeping series (You know he wouldn't have survived two fictions with the seductive bed anywhere in a mile's radius of the DeceptiBed)
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FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE NO FRIGGING IDEA WHO SLEEPING, FUBAR, THE BEDMASTERS, OR HAVE NO CLUE WHATSOEVER AS TO WHAT THE HELL HAS BEEN GOING ON, WE ARE GOING TO LET GRIMLOCK EXPLAIN WHAT HAS HAPPENED:
Grimlock: "Ehh…Me Grimlock remember the flying bed and…wait! That a dream! But er…Me Grimlock remember flying bed with toaster oven and blender that came and attacked and destroyed and then became big movie stars! Then they have big rave party and get Grimlock and Autobots drunk and-"
Sludge: "But Grimlock forget about Fubar and THE VOK and the other things!"
Grimlock: "Me Grimlock not finished with story!"
Sludge: "Sludge finish!"
Grimlock: "Grimlock finish!"
Krunk: "Krunk smash!"
ANYWAY, SEEING THAT THE DINOBOTS AND KRUNK ARE BRAINING EACH OTHER SENSELESS, WE ARE GOING TO LET …. BLUR FINISH THE REST OF THE DETAILS
Blur: "Soanywayicameinandsureenoughtherewasmegatronandhisdecepticonlawyerswhowereg oingtosuethepantsoffoftheotherdecepticonssoiwentinthereandgavethemapeiceofmy mindsonowmegatronsbecomeashrubberandthebedmastersdefectedtosleepingssideande verythingbecameallhappyandshiny."
ANYWAY, WITH ALL THIS JOTTED DOWN AND PROPABABLY ILLEGABLE, WE WILL CONTINUE WITH……….NORMAL PROGRAMING……I THINK.
And now for something completely different:
Soundwave, great thinker, tape player, and father to the cassettes…
Was very careless in leaving the shrink ray within reachable hands of Rumble and Frenzy.
"Hey! What does this do?" Asked Frenzy as he waved the small pistol around.
Rumble shrugged; "Pull the trigger!"
Frenzy pointed at rumble and clicked the trigger.
Rumble shrunk down to half his size.
"Woa!" He called in a tiny voice, "That was cool! Is there a reverse button?"
"I hope so…." Replied Frenzy and found it. Then he fired at Rumble and Rumble returned to his normal size.
"That was cool!" Cried Rumble.
Then Soundwave walked in.
"What are you kids doing?" Asked Soundwave in mono sound.
"Look what we found!" Cried Rumble as he waved the shrink ray around.
"Rumble, put that down before someone gets hurt." Replied Soundwave and moved for the gun.
But then Soundwave found himself half the size of the cassettes.
"You kids better put me back to normal size!" Ranted Soundwave.
"Hey!" Smiled Rumble, "We should do this to the other guys!"
"Yeah!" Cheered Frenzy.
Then a giant hand came around Rumble and plucked the tiny gun from Rumble's hand.
"No fair!" Cried Rumble.
Fubar the combiner waved a finger, "Now Rumble, you know you shouldn't be playing with strange weaponry. You know what happened to your great cousin…um….Shingles. Yeah! Shingles."
"What happened to him?" Asked Frenzy.
"Well," Said Fubar, "From what I was told he was playing with a device created by THE VOK™ and for some odd reason or another he was turned into a lemon."
"Hey! How did you know about Singles?" Asked frenzy, "You were only created in the second fic!"
"Would it help to say this lemon told me?" Asked Fubar and held up a Lemon.
No one laughed.
"Okay, maybe we should focus on getting Soundwave back to normal…well…as normal as he can get anyway." Replied Fubar as he turned the dial and fired at Soundwave, growing him back to normal size.
Soundwave glared down at the cassettes, "That's it you two, you're grounded." He opened up his chest, "Get in my chest now."
"Aww do we have ta?" Asked Frenzy.
"Playing with your father's toys is only reserved for your father and his friends." Replied Soundwave as he waved a finger, "Now get in here!"
Both cassettes transformed and entered Soundwave's chest.
Fubar returned the shrink ray to Soundwave, "Perhaps you should put this in a safe place."
"Nah." Shrugged Soundwave and broke it, "I actually got it at a novelty store down the street. Only 12$."
"What else did you get there?" Asked Fubar.
"Well," Said Soundwave, "I got this strange monkey's paw…"
They both looked up and listened to the eerie music playing in the background. Fubar turned around and hit the OFF button on the CD player before turning back to Soundwave, "Go on."
"I also got a good deal on these." Said Soundwave and produced three items from his back pocket.
One of them was a box to a Microsoft windows program, the next was a Playschool toy, and the last one was a self-help book with the picture of a smiling balding man on the front.
"…You got a good deal on these?" Asked Fubar and picked up the self- help book, "103 ways how to improve your lifestyle…Well I can name off some of us who need this, but do you really need the playschool whatzhamagig and the Windows ME edition?"
"Actually," Hummed Soundwave, "I was going to teach Laserbeak, Buzzsaw, and Ravage how to read, and the Microsoft product was to be used in the next fic. But then I discovered something unusual about these three products that made me buy them."
Fubar lifted a finger and spoke, "………….This is going to be one of those important plot thingies again isn't it?"
"I think so." Replied Soundwave, "How could you tell?"
"Well they all say so on the labels." Replied Fubar as he flipped around the Self-help book and read the inscription, "Warning: Plot device. In case of an emergency throw through the nearest window and use the stairs. Forget the elevator. Batteries not included. Made in China."
"The whole world's made in China." Replied Soundwave and went on, "As I was saying, these things are all transformers."
"What!?!?!" Asked Fubar before turning around and unplugging the CD player before the dramatic music could thunder through the room.
"Yes." Replied Soundwave, "Transform."
The Playschool toy, Windows box, and Self-help book transformed.
Soundwave pointed at each, "Rymatron , Phonixor, and Microsofter."
"Hey wait a minute!" Said Fubar, "You guys were mentioned in the Return of Sleeping aren't you!?"
"PANTS!!!" Cried Phonixor.
"What?" Asked Fubar.
"THE SWEEDISH BIKINI TEAM!!!" Answered Phonixor.
The Microsoft box said, "BUY ME!!"
"Slick and Dick rhyme." Pointed out Rymatron .
Fubar wondered why in existence these Transformers had come into existence and what the hell they were doing in this fiction.
But then again, as it said prominently on their butts, they were indeed plot devices.
"Hey, where's everyone else?" Asked Fubar.
"SUGAR CUBES!!!" Screamed Phonixor.
Fubar lifted a foot and stomped it down, crushing Microsofter in mid- sentence, "100% SATISFACTION GURANTEE- STOMP!!!"
Fubar cracked a smile, "Anyone else want to talk?"
None of the other plot devices spoke a word.
"Now then," Asked Fubar, "Where is everyone else?"
Soundwave replied, "They went to the animation committee of…Animation…I think."
"They sound pretty well informed." Said Fubar.
Meanwhile, Starscream was drumming his fingers in the board meeting.
Anime and Cartoon representatives were everywhere in the massive room, looking like something out of the new Star Wars movie with the committee and-
Anyway, the three guys in the center of the room looked like dead ringers of those Decepticon lawyers Megatron almost snuffed them out with.
In fact Sleeping was positive the Decepticon lawyers were the same guys on the committee, for they were still wearing the little pins that Megatron issued to all his lawyers.
But for some reason this didn't matter as one of them spoke in Monotone, "We are here to welcome the Sleeping Decepticons-"
"It's SLEEPING'S DECEPTICONS!" Protested Rumble. Frenzy waved a fist, "PUT AN APOSTROPHIE IN IT!"
"Thank you for the clarification." Replied the monotone, "As I was saying before I was…corrected, We welcome the Decepticons. And for an initiation, we have a task for you."
"Shoot." Responded Sleeping.
The lawyer paused for a moment before saying, "Since the not-name department because of a joke gag in a moment has been experiencing…uh, Technical difficulties."
"I'll bet he's reading that off the inside of his glasses!" Called Rumble.
Frenzy waved a fist, "I'll bet!"
Sleeping looked over at Frenzy, "You're not in a good mood aren't you?"
"I'm taking anger lessons from Pissed!" Replied Frenzy as he waved a fist, "You should try it, It's very relaxing."
A sweatdrop formed on Sleeping's head and everyone in the Decepticon bench looked at it.
"Hey! That's a first for the Sleeping fics!" Called Thundercracker, "We've never had a sweatdrop until now!"
"We'll celebrate later." Said Starscream, "I think they're getting around to saying something meaningful."
"With these guys, not likely." Replied Sleeping.
The lawyer talked, "Yak yak yak blah blah dribble dribble dribble and so for your initiation we are tasking you to baby-sit three members who are at the moment without a home."
The Deceptions crowded near the edge of the platform and glared down at the three figures that emerged.
A redhead, a blue-head, and a black-hared person. The first two were girls, the last a guy-
-WE WILL INTERRUPT YOU TO TAKE A FEIW SECONDS FOR YOU TO GUESS WHO THESE PEOPLE ARE AND WHERE THE HELL THEY ARE FROM. IF YOU HAVE NO IDEA OR DO NOT WATCH THE TELEVISION OFTEN THEN YOU CAN FORGET IT AND SO ON AND SO FORTH. IF YOU ABSOLUTELY HATE ANIME IT IS NOT YOUR DAY. UNOFORTUNATELY FOR OUR HEROES THEY ARE GOING TO HAVE TO BABYSIT-
"Asuka Soryu Langly, Rei Ayanami," Voiced the lawyer, "And uh…Shinji Ikari-"
-FROM-
"The-"
-ANIME-
"Will you let me finish?"
-SORRY. GO ON WITH YOUR MONOTONE SPEAKING AND I WILL GO HIDE IN A CORNER. THANK YOU-
"As I was saying," Droned the Lawyer, "These three children from the Anime series Neon Genesis Evangelion will be your charge for a period of five days. If you survive for that long you are admitted to the animation club with all the spiffy benefits and privileges theory."
"Yay." Chimed all the lawyers.
The leader went on, "You will also be able to use the very clean bathroom and enter the very special bar on level 36 and so on and so forth."
Sleeping looked over at Rumble and Frenzy, who had blank looks on their faces as they stared down at one of the trio down below. Sleeping waved a hand in front of their face and turned to Starscream, "Hey, something's stunned the Cassettes!"
"Let me see!" Replied Starscream and waved his hand in front of the Cassettes, then said, "If you can understand what I'm saying raise your hands."
Nothing.
"Hmm…okay, when we get home you can play with the ultra-big speakers and shake the world."
Nothing.
"Uh…okay, how about we raid the Autobot ark and steal Teletran so you can bring it home and play with it. How does that sound?"
Nothing.
Starscream rubbed his chin, "Sounds serious…"
"What do you think we should do?" Asked Sleeping.
"Well," Started Starscream, "We should get these two back to base and have their heads examined. Next, we should square away the rooms for our guests. And third," Starscream indicated Sleeping, "Find out what the hell an Evangelion is."
-SOMETIME MUCH LATER-
Soundwave had the two Cassettes connected to the main computer.
"So what's this going to do again?" asked Starscream.
Soundwave replied, "In theory we should be able to read their minds." Replied Soundwave.
Then Sleeping entered and asked, "Wait a second…I just remembered something! Didn't we leave Rumble and Frenzy here with you?"
Soundwave paused, "Yes you did." He opened up his chest, "They aren't here."
Starscream asked, "And you just noticed that?"
Sleeping shrugged, "I was more concerned about the meeting!"
Starscream turned to another subject, "Are our guests squared away?"
Sleeping answered, "Well, The redheaded girl…eh…Asuka, is still giving Fubar the whole list on what she wants her room to be like, Rei's sitting quietly in her empty room, and The boy Shinji…er…well let's just say he and Sleepy are…sharing a symbolic relationship."
"So he dropped off to sleep." Said Starscream.
Sleeping answered, "Well… He fainted. Sleepy just happened to be nearby so…"
"I get it." Replied Starscream and asked, "Just out of curiosity, do you think we'll be able to survive this?"
"Probably not." Replied Sleeping, "That redhead's already got a list of demands as long as Devestator's leg, so I doubt we'll be able to keep her happy. Rei's…well…creepy….and Shinji's probably not going to be conscious most of the time."
"…Well that some problems out of the way." Smiled Starscream.
Then Soundwave spoke up, "I have a picture."
Both leaders looked at the screen.
A big image of Asuka was pasted on the screen.
"Who's imagination is that?" Asked Starscream.
Soundwave had an answer, "Both of theirs. They are thinking of the same thing."
Silence.
"Well…" Said Sleeping, "I think we've identified the problem child."
"No duh." Answered Starscream and asked, "Isn't it always the redhead?"
"They tend to be the most tomboyish." Replied Sleeping and then added, "Straightjackets are standing by-"
"I don't think we'll be needing them." Frowned Starscream, "From the rumors I've read on this girl, we're not going to be able to fit her in a streightjacket."
"Even unconscious?" Asked Sleeping.
Starscream replied, "Even if we somehow managed to knock her out and find someone quick enough to put it on, it wouldn't work."
Sleeping sighed, "Well that's just beautiful."
Then the redhead entered, behind her Fubar entered with a large stack of paper.
She demanded, "Which one of you's the leader!?"
Soundwave and Starscream pointed at Sleeping, who in turn arrowed at Starscream's skullcap, "He is."
Asuka pondered this for a second before dismissing it, "Anyway, I've finished the list."
"I'm assuming that Fubar's holding it." Spoke Sleeping.
"How did you know?" Asked Asuka as Fubar slammed down the large stack of paper.
Sleeping removed a sheet and examined it, "My God…"
"What?" Asked Starscream in a low tone.
Sleeping pointed at the sheet, "Fubar's handwriting is incredibly small! I was thinking one letter per page, but this is absurd!"
Fubar shrugged, "What did you expect? We're doing a Sleeping fic after all-"
"A Crossover actually." Frowned Asuka, "Now then, do you have anything to eat?"
"……..uh………." Replied Sleeping and exchanged glances with Starscream.
"You mean you didn't go grocery shopping?" Fumed Starscream.
Sleeping answered, "I sent the Vehicons to do it. God knows what happened to them…"
"I think it may have been a serious mistake to send the Vehicons." Frowned Starscream, "You know most of them can't read."
"…..Oops…." Spoke Sleeping.
Starscream opened a hand, "And furthermore, half of them couldn't even make it through the door!"
"Maybe sending the Diagnostic drone solo was probably a better idea." Thought Sleeping aloud.
Asuka cried, "I'M HUNGRY!!"
Then she turned to the screen.
Soundwave looked up at it and noticed it still had her picture on it.
Uh-oh.
"Why is my picture on the screen?" She asked, crossing her arms.
"It's just some information-" Soundwave said, his hand inching towards the button.
"Are you sure?" She asked.
"Y-Yes…" Hummed Soundwave, and for the first time started to break out in a sweat.
"Huh." Frowned Asuka.
Soundwave was nearly at the switch off button….
"HEY! I DON'T WEAR THAT!!" Screamed Asuka.
Soundwave accidentally hit a button.
The Cassettes woke up and looked around.
"Hey!" Cried Rumble as he noticed his head was attached to several cables.
"What's going on?" asked Frenzy.
Then they turned around to see Asuka.
Sleeping and Starscream did a double take as they realized what they were seeing.
Rumble and Frenzy were on their knees, looking up at Asuka with hearts in their eyes.
"WOW! YOU'RE GREAT!" They both called, their heart-eyes beating, "CAN YOU GO OUT WITH ME?"
They both looked at each other and screamed, "I ASKED FIRST!"
"Oh God…" Muttered Starscream and slapped his face.
Sleeping watched as Asuka cried, "WH-WHAT IS THIS!?!?"
The two cassettes started fighting over Asuka and Sleeping took her by the shoulder, "Um…how about we find you a big pillow until we file through your requests and fix up your room. I'll get the Vehcon's tails in gear and get some food."
"Humph." Grumbled Asuka, "Well, as long as you're quick about it."
As Sleeping led their guest away Starscream pointed at the Cassettes, "That's it! Get them separated!"
Fubar reached into the cloud of swinging fists and other body parts and pulled them both out, still kicking and screaming to fight each other.
Starscream shook a fist, "YOU TWO AUGHT TO KNOW BETTER THAN SETTING YOUR EYES ON THAT um HUMAN FEMALE!! SHE DOES NOT DESERVE THE ADVANCES OF A TRUE DECEPTICON WARRIOR! HOW ASHAMED OF YOU!!!"
Rumble froze in mid-swing, "But…She's so…hot…."
"She's got a nice butt!" Added Frenzy.
Soundwave fumed, "We won't hear any of that young cassette!"
"But she does!" Replied Frenzy.
"And big breasts!" Smiled Rumble, "They're bigger than any fembot I've seen!"
"STOP IT BOTH OF YOU!!!" Screamed Starscream, "I don't want to see either of you goggling over the certain female guest we happen to have, and if I see any sort of that You will wish you were never created."
After the room settled, Fubar spoke up, "Wow."
"When he goes underline, it must be serious…." Guessed a nearby Thundercracker.
"They don't call me Starscream for nothing!" Smiled Starscream and turned serious, "Now! Put them into separate boxes or something and make sure they're FAR apart!"
"How about putting them on opposite ends of the ship?" Suggested Soundwave.
"I don't care." Frowned Starscream, "As long as they are nowhere near our guests."
Fubar nodded and ran off down a corridor.
Starscream slapped his face when they were gone and muttered, "Somehow I think all of this is a set-up for us to fail."
"Don't fret Starscream." Reassured Soundwave, "Asuka is the only problem child we have to deal with. If we can contain the situation, we should be able to get through this in one piece."
Starscream nodded, "Maybe you're right. Then again," Thought Starscream, "We do have another Rave party being held… Maybe we can bring these rugrats along to pacify them?"
Soundwave replied, "Unfortunately that's impossible Soundwave. We can only do so much in a single fic, and a Rave is a very dedicated thing."
"You're right." Frowned Starscream, "Well there has to be some other way we can keep that redhead quiet…"
Soundwave shrugged, "Maybe locking her in her room would suffice."
"It would work," Nodded Starscream, "But we'd get the bad rep for locking our guests up in their rooms…a Rep I don't want. So maybe we should…."
After locking up the two Cassettes, Fubar returned to the command room to see everyone basically lounging.
The beds were in one corner, all sleeping soundly with some other Decepticons wrapped up in the sheets and also asleep…except Sleeping, who was probably elsewhere. Thundercracker, Dirge, Thrust, and Ramjet were playing a game of Ping-Pong on a rather large court, and Devestator was arm- wrestling with Astrotrain.
Fubar was about to say something but just then Skywarp walked in and announced, "Has anyone seen my teleport chip?"
"Your what!?" Asked Dirge before the ball hit him in the head and somehow KO'ed him.
Skywarp answered, "My Teleport chip! I can't teleport without it!"
Thundercracker lowered his paddle, "You lost your teleport chip? How can you loose it! It's in your body isn't it?"
"I left it out this morning when I took a shower." Explained Skywarp, "And now I can't find it!"
"Why don't you look in your room?" Replied Devestator.
"Did you even SEE Skywarp's room?" Asked Thundercracker.
Ramjet rubbed his cone head, "Didn't you say Skywarp had a weird radioactive lizard thing in his room?"
Skywarp cocked an eyebrow, "Thundercracker, you said WHAT!?"
Thundercracker responded, "It's true though."
"No it isn't" Frowned Skywarp, "Godzilla isn't a lizard."
"Godzilla?" asked Blitzwing. Astrotrain was staring down Devestator and none of them were getting anywhere.
Skywarp sighed, "Has anyone seen my teleport chip? Just say yes, or no."
"No." They all answered.
"It's two inches wide for cryin' out loud!" Cried Thundercracker, "How the hell is anyone supposed to see something two inches wide and be able to remember it!?"
Then Soundwave entered.
"Soundwave, have you seen my teleport chip?" Asked Skywarp.
Soundwave remembered, "No."
"See!" Replied Thundercracker.
Soundwave asked Fubar, "Have you secured the two Cassettes?"
"Yup." Saluted Fubar.
Just then Rumble and Frenzy strolled into the room, spotted Soundwave, turned and ran.
Soundwave looked to Fubar for an explanation.
The combination of Kitchen appliances could only shrug.
"Hey!" Rumbled Skywarp, "Those rugrats have my teleport chip!"
"How did you know?" Asked Thundercracker.
Skywarp ranted, "Because…um….Because…."
Dirge handed Skywarp a cue card and Skywarp read off it, "Because- it's-an-intuition-and-gut-feeling….hey why am I reading off this?"
He tossed the card and it KO'ed Devestator, letting Astrotrain win the game and collect the large pile of cash sitting on one end of the table.
Skywarp replied, "Because I'm smart enough to put a homing beacon on my chip."
There was a pause before Thundercracker rumbled, "THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU USE IT BEFORE!!!???"
Skywarp replied, "Because it has a radius of FIFTEEN FEET!!!"
"Oh." Thundercracker whimpered.
Soundwave announced, "I think I've figured out how the Cassettes escaped and got from here to the meeting."
"So they swiped Skywarp's Teleport Chip. Dandy." Said Fubar, then a look of horror crossed his face, "Er…if Asuka's taking a bath then-"
The scream could be heard even underwater.
"Should we go help?" Asked Fubar.
Soundwave spoke up, "Reading Asuka's profile, I'd say Rumble and Frenzy would need the help."
Skywarp exploded, "WOULD SOMEONE GET ME BACK MY TELEPORT CHIP!?!?!"
"You can go get it." Said Soundwave and Fubar at once.
Just then the doorbell rang.
"I'll get it…" Said Fubar and walked to the door at the other end of the room and opened the door.
He was run over as a number of people entered.
Soundwave did a double take.
"Who the hell are those guys!?" Demanded Thundercracker and pointed.
Standing in the doorway were the post-movie Decepticons.
Scourge Growled, "Is this the sleeping fic HQ?"
"Yes," Replied Soundwave, "What are you doing here?"
Tripticon rammed his nose into the door, "We want an appearance!"
Then Sleeping entered and looked at the nose that poked though the door, "My god, is the angry mob back?"
Soundwave spoke, "These Decepticons want an appearance."
Sleeping rumbled, "Hey! If you guys want an appearance you'll have to schedule it! We're in the middle of one right now!"
Scourge complained, "BUT WE WANT AN APPEARANCE NOW!!!"
Sleeping replied, "You guys aren't good for anything! Besides, your post-movie selves are much better than you ever where!"
Dirge called, "Buzz off!"
Just then Predking entered, "Hello." He said.
Sleeping looked up. "Hi there."
The Predicon warrior looked down at the Bedicon, "You're Sleeping?"
"Yup." Answered Sleeping, "Why?"
"I just wanted to reserve a spot for the next fic." Replied the Combiner.
"We can do that." Smiled Sleeping, "Receptionist up-stairs."
"Got it." Said Predking and walked out.
"Hey! What about us!" Ranted Scourge.
Sleeping pointed, "You can go register! Or we can scratch you off the guest list for the next rave party!"
With this, the Decepticons retreated back and replaced the door.
A Flattened Fubar asked, "Can we get on with the story now?"
Thundercracker asked, "Oh, and whatever happened to Rumble and Frenzy.
The two Panicked Cassettes appeared in the room and wailed, "HIDE US!!"
"Why?" Asked Soundwave.
Something nasty was coming down the hallway.
They all turned to see a very big and very nasty Evangelion unit two squeeze through the hallway door and occupy most of the room.
"Oh dear…" Frowned Dirge.
Just then Devestator stood to his full height and looked up at the Eva, "Hey! Go back to your room!"
"Why should I?" Asked Asuka, "THOSE GUYS ARE GONNA PAY FOR PEEKING IN ON MY BATH!!"
"You did WHAT!?" Asked Soundwave and looked at the cassettes.
"Hey, we're only kids!" Replied Rumble.
Frenzy nodded vigorously.
But then something entered that was even more furious than the rampaging Evangelion:
A very pissed off Starscream.
He pointed and spoke (In italics because it's very important and Starscream is very Pissed off)
"CASSETTES!!! YOU HAVE ANGERED OUR GUEST AND MYSELF. PREPARE TO DIE!"
"SAVE US!!" Cried both cassettes as everyone watched Starscream catch fire with anger and pick up both cassettes and walked into a closet.
-SOMETIME LATER (AND AFTER MUCH NOISE, THROWING THINGS, TIME, FIREY ANGER AND THINGS THAT BLOW UP WHEN YELLED AT)-
The door knocked and Sleeping answered it.
The Lawyer stood there.
"How are the children?" He asked.
"Safe." Replied Sleeping.
"I have come to collect them and give you this." Replied the lawyer.
Sleeping took it, examined it, and opened the folder that was handed to him.
Inside was a little card.
"You passed." It said.
"Well…that's comforting." Said Sleeping, "I'll tell the others."
"Good." Replied the lawyer.
An unscathed Rei arrived first, saying, "I am undamaged." Before walking out the door.
Next was a dead-to-the-world Shinji Ikari, who was still unconscious from seeing his bed transform. Of course, tired rolled him out and dumped him on the floor.
Last to come was Asuka, guarded by Thundercracker and Dirge- armed with very big blunt objects.
The agent arched his eyebrow.
"We had some disagreements…" Said Sleeping.
Asuka didn't complain and spoke to Sleeping, "I'm sorry I caused such a mess."
"Don't worry." Replied Sleeping as he patted her on the shoulder, also passing the very big check to her behind her back, "Maybe next time we won't have so many problems."
"I hope so too." Smiled Asuka as she was shown out.
After they left, Sleeping went aft and entered the 'special' room.
"Are you done yet?" Asked Sleeping.
Soundwave was busy with a hammer, chisel and mallet trying to re- shape the cassettes. Preceptor and Ratchet also came over to help out to reform the shapeless lumps of metal that had once been Frenzy and Rumble.
"We're getting there." Nodded Soundwave, "At least we found this." And held up the two-inch teleportation chip that belonged to Skywarp.
-----------------------------------------------
fin
Okay, it probably wasn't as absurd as the last one, but hey, there's still more to come
