Prologue
(8 ABY)
With a sigh, Serina let herself fall into the soft cushions of her comfortable meditation chair. The waves, visible through the front of the bay windows, broke into huge sprays down at the cliffs at the foot of the castle. It was a grand sight to behold against the slowly setting sun that turned everything to dark oranges and reds.
The castle around her had already quieted down for the night, everybody exhausted from their last long hike into the mountains of Vaderra's smallest continent before their return home to Taanab on the following morning. It had been a very pleasant day, the sun already quite warm even so it was not summer yet and the laughter of the children had almost allowed her to forget the aching loneliness she felt inside. But only: almost. Four years had passed, but it still hurt as if it had just happened yesterday.
Sometimes she wished she would have taken to heart the teachings of the Jedi regarding attachments. But she called herself to order: attachments were not all bad. With fondness, she thought of her own children. The love between a mother and her children was something special. Much strength could be drawn from that kind of attachment even so the Jedi had thought differently.
Actually, it's more a question of right priorities, she told herself. Once, a long time ago, the Jedi had had the right priorities, acting upon the ways the Force showed them, but when they started to just use the Force to preserve the Old Republic they started down a path that eventually led to their downfall. She would try to teach her children to become sensitive to the leading of the Force and not to just be using it to further their own goals, no matter how honest and noble they might be.
Hopefully, they could avoid some of the pitfalls she had stumbled into, some of the horrible deeds she had felt compelled to commit and some of the heartaches and pangs of conscience that had been the result of walking a path of darkness while seeking the light. It had been a dangerous path, filled with more evil than she felt comfortable telling even her closest friend, her Aunt Marisa, about, let alone her children. She was still amazed that the darkness had not devoured her as it had so many others.
But her children had a right to know her story, her greatest failures and the motivation behind her actions. And she wanted to tell them of her times of success, of the good she had preserved in the midst of all that evil and of the love she had found where she had least expected it. But they were still too young, much too young to be burdened with such knowledge. The day would come when it would be revealed to them, even if she would be long gone by then.
She settled into a comfortable position, closed her eyes and emptied her mind of all the worries and issues of the present. With deep slow breaths, she calmed her whole body; then she concentrated on feeling the living Force around her from the strong presence of her children - bright beacons to her expanding perception - and her aunt just a few rooms away to the smallest gnat in the farthest corner of the large structure. When she felt herself completely engulfed in the presence of the Force, she allowed her oldest memories - buried deep within her soul - to rise to the surface.
After pressing the button of the recording unit, she slowly recounted how it all began.
