The Not So Great Escape
by
The really psychotic Hamster King and Dinosaur2
and.....
The Hamster King's cohort, Mr. Scuzzball
with help from.......
Bunny Lord
who most likely had assistance by...........
Ferret Mage
It was your normal, everyday, peaceful, bright and chipper day in Pallet Town as our hero (yeah, right!) Ash Ketchum was walking towards the path to Route
1 with Misty and Brock and (dare I say it) Pikachu......
Meanwhile........
Our REAL heroes, Dino2, Mr.Scuzzball, Bunny Lord, Ferret Mage, and The Hamster King were walking down the path of Route 1.......
H.K.: BUMBABUMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!
Dino2: You've got to stop doing that.....
Bunny Lord: BUMBUMBUMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!
Dino2: Same for you!
Ferret Mage: BUMBU-
Dino2 took out her spear and cracked it over the head of Ferret Mage before he could finish.
Dino2:*annoyed* Why do you do that?
H.K.: Why? It annoys people to no end! So that's why I do it!
Dino2: And that's also how you annoyed Juno so much he teleported us to the world of Pokemon!!!!!!
H.K.: (Eyes get real big and he shudders violently as he remembers something)
-Flashback (JFG Ship)
Juno has the entire JFI crew in a crate. He has a flamethrower pointed at them. Obviously, they went to far in replacing Juno's coffee with decaf.
Bunny Lord: *really frightened* Can't we talk this out?
Juno looks at them, a crazed glint in his eye.
Juno: *really angry* NO! Shut up or I'll have fried rabbit!
Bunny Lord: *Backs up* Okay, you win.
Juno: *hits a button on the teleporter* Now then. You are either going to tell me where you hid my precious coffee or I'll send you to the world of Pokemon!
Ferret Mage: Uh....they're in H.K.'s crate.
Juno opens the crate to find millions of coffee beans.
Juno: Okay, I guess you can leave.
Dino2: Sweet.
Scuzzball: Hey, if, for some odd and strange reason, the ship leans and we were flung into that portal, if we got out could we be an official force?
Juno: Um.....lessee. *Gets out a book* It says here, if a group of people showed great heroism, were with us for at least three months, and escaped from a planet with little chance for survival, they could be a force.
H.K.: Nice, great, let me out of here! I'm cramping up!
Juno: Alright, alright, just.don't touch my coffee EVER again!
Juno is about to let the JFI crew go when disaster strikes. The ship leans and the crate bounces into the portal.
Juno: Oh crap. They're......gone forever.....oh well! Can't mourn forever! *leaves*
-Route 1
H.K.: See? Juno didn't send us here! It's a trial to finally become an official force to be reckoned with! (Shudders again) but still....
Bunny Lord: We....are where?
Ferret Mage: Are we....in Pokemon?
Mr. Scuzzball: What's wrong? We're just in the world of Pokemon.
H.K.: (Grabs Scuzzball.) IT ISN'T JUST A SIMPLE WORLD!!!!!! THE HUMANS HERE HAVE WIERD RED AND WHITE ORBS!!!!!! AND IF THEY TOUCH YA YOU'RE THEIR SLAVE FOR ALL ETERNITY!!!!!!!!! THAT'S WHY JUNO FLUNG US HERE!!!!!! SO WE CAN BE SOMEONE'S SLAVE AND NOT ANNOY HIM ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!
Scuzzball: Uh...okay.
Bunny Lord: We are so screwed.
Ferret Mage: Uh...guys? I'd hate to end this moment of panic, but I hear something.
?????: What's that?
?????: It could be a Pokemon!
?????: Let's check it out to break away from the old routine of going to a pokemon center!
H.K.: THE HUMAN SLAVE DRIVERS!!!!!!
Scuzzball: QUICK! HIDE!
Dino2: (sighs) Why am I even helping them?
Ferret Mage: So we don't get caught.
Our brave and slightly disturbed heroes leap behind a bush as Ash, Misty, Pikachu, and Brock arrive onto the scene.......
Ash: That's odd......
Misty: I could have sworn I heard a Pokemon ranting over here....
Brock:.......
Ash: A pokemon!
We see that Bunny Lord is standing in the middle of the field.
Bunny Lord: Oh, hell. I remember you people. You evil, disgusting people!
Brock: It's that rabbit.
Ash: (gets out a Pokeball) I'll catch it!
Bunny Lord: Like heck you are! (gets out his axe) You wanna piece of me gayboy?
Misty: Don't worry Ash! I'll stun him like I did the last time!
Bunny Lord: Wha....? Oh...NO!
Misty flashes Bunny Lord. Bunny passes out in a pool of his own vomit.
Ash: Heh heh heh. You're mine now, Bunny Lord. *drops a Pokeball on Bunny Lord.*
BUMBUMBUMMMMMMM!
Pikachu:(dances around like an idiot.....)
-In the Bush.....
Dino2 is looking at a serene stream while H.K. and Scuzzball, and Ferret Mage are shuddering.
H.K.: Y-y-you think there g-g-gone?
Scuzzball: I d-d-don't know.
Ferret Mage: N-n-n-need m-m-m-mana.
Just then, Scuzzball's tail swatted off H.K.'s crown and flinging it into the clearing that Ash was in.
H.K.: Good one doofus!
Scuzzball: Bite me! (points at tail) This thing has a mind of it's own!
Ferret Mage: Hey, where's Bunny Lord?
H.K.: Good question. Scuzzball, go look for the long-eared nutcase will you?
Scuzzball: (grabs his sword) Yeah, yeah, yeah. (leaves down the stream)
Ferret Mage: Let's watch this.
-In the clearing
Ash: Look, a crown!
Misty: A pokemon must be here! Look at it!
Brock: I'll lure it over here!
Pikachu: Pika! Pi!
Brock then puts a bag of sugar cubes on the ground. We all know what this will do to H.K.........
Dino2: Oh no.....
Ferret Mage: At least theare is no caffeine.....
H .K.: sugar? Sugar? SUGAR!!!!! SuGaR!!!!!!! Sugar+Me=Hyperness!!!!!!!! THE FERRETS HAVE ANSWERED THE CALL FOR CHEEZ IN A CAN!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!! HERE I COME O' TICKET TO INSANITY!!!!!!!!
Ferret Mage: I have not ans-
Dino2: (covers Ferret Mage's mouth) Don't disturb him.
H.K.: WEEEEEEEEAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Misty: What was that?
The Hamster King burst through the thicket, eyes locked on the sugar. And, after tackling the bag started to gnaw intently on the cubes after retrieving his crown. Dino2 and Ferret Mage lowered their heads in shame.....
Ash: Look it's a Raticate!!!!!
Misty: I dunno....
Brock: Use your Pokedex Ash.
Pikachu: Pikachu!
Scuzzball: That yellow rodent is really starting to annoy me.....
Ash brings out his Pokedex and gets a reading about our writer..........
Pokedex: *bing*
Hamster King #338
Type: Normal/Author
Attacks:
Huiko Mana Elite
Plot Hole
Grandia
Hyperactive attack
Reading:
The King of Huiko. A region in a distant world. Usually seen in the company of a Dino2, Bunny Lord, Ferret Mage, and a Lano Scuzzball. It has been known to go into an insane frenzy and/or use its Plot Hole to do strange things.
Ferret Mage: We gotta help him!
Dino2: I'll help you!!!!! If I don't I won't have anyone to write these insane stories with!!!!!
Ferret Mage gets out his staff and Dino2 gets out her spear. They both run into the clearing.
Ash: I'll catch it! (Gets out Pokeball)
Misty: (Hears running) What's that?
Dino2 and Ferret Mage leap out into the field and block Ash's shot at capturing the Hamster King.
H.K.: Thanks guys!
Dino2: You're not Hyper?!
H.K.: Of course I am! I'm just storing my energy!
Ferret Mage: I'm not suprised. (charges up staff) Let's disintegrate!
Ash: (pulls out Pokedex)
Pokedex:*bing*
Dino2 #331
Type: Rock/Author
Attacks:
Gunge Lance
Talon Slash
Author Magic
Swoop
Reading:
A Dinoian warrior in the Dinok islands. Its talons are most likely used to sever its prey's limbs before swallowing the pices in midair. Extreme caution is advised when capturing it. It's Author Magic attack should be feared by all.
Ferret Mage: Wow, you sound pretty dangerous Dino2.
H.K.: Yeah you have razor sharp talons! Use 'em!!! Save me!
Dino2: But I hate violence......
Brock: The mean 'ol dinosaur hates violence!!!!! (laughs)
Dino2: Why you......AHHHH!!!!!!!! (leaps and tears Brock limb from limb, then swallows him whole)
All: O.o
Dino2: (has Brock's arm in her mouth) What?
Misty: Uh......oh, look at the Ferret! (Points to Ferret Mage)
Ferret Mage: Geez, give me break. You people are idiots!
Pokedex: *bing*
Ferret Mage: ...... (The staff shoots out a lightning beam, destroying the Pokedex)
Ferret Mage: HA!
Ash: I'll show you! I'll catch you all! (Throws a Pokeball, Bunny Lord appears. His eyes are blank.)
Scuzzball: (comes back from searching) Hey guys, if Bunny Lord was here, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?!
H.K.: That's not Bunny Lord.
Ferret Mage: Hm, alright I got an idea.
Ash: Enough of your ideas! Bunny Lord, attack!
Bunny Lord jumps up, his axe poised to split anything in two. Everyone jumps out of the way as Bunny Lord splits a tree in two.
Bunny Lord: AAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Uh....wait.......oh yeah! KILL!!!!!!!!!!!
H.K.: Hold on Bunny Lord! I got something for you! *gets out a pack of Magic: The Gathering cards*
Bunny Lord: Kill? *Takes cards and sifts trough them* Got it, got it, got it, KILL!!!!!!!!
Dino2: Crap. Well, I guess we're all dead.
Ferret Mage: (Gets out a mirror) Wait! Bunny Lord! Look at yourself!
Bunny Lord: Kill? (He sees Ferret Mage in the other side of the mirror, the mirror turns out to be an empty frame. Ferret Mage's fist goes through the frame and socks Bunny Lord in the face. Bunny Lord goes out cold.)
Ferret Mage: Heh....I guess that worked. I'll cure Bunny Lord, you three slay them!
H.K.: (starts to glow) Uh oh.....
Dino2: What? Oh.....
Scuzzball: OH CRAP!!!!!!
Dino2 and Scuzzball, and Ferret Mage carrying Bunny Lord's body leap into the bushes.
Ash: Why did they run?
H.K.: (glowing) BIRDS!!!!!
Misty: What the.....?
H.K.: HALAFAX!!!!! SPROING!!!!! GING!!!! FEEBLEFETZERS ANONOYMUS!!!!! WHY OH WHY MUST I BE SMOTHERED IN PUDDING SKIN?!?!?!?!?!!!!!
Ash: Has he flipped?
Misty: It seems that way.....
H.K.: (Whips out a rocket launcher) JKL::DHOPgfugbpFUIXSNonicvnio!!!!
Ash: Oh crap!
Misty: The hyperactive attack!!!!!
H.K.: (talks like Ed off of Ed,Edd &Eddy) BUTTERED TOAST!!!!!!!! (fires the rocket launcher which fires the rocket and seconds before it hits Ash....)
.....it stops. Yup! It stops! Right in midair. Just then, a loud booming voice fills the forest.
Loud, booming voice: You cannot kill our only source of money!
H.K.: (talks normally) Don't you have that Silver kid? You know, the kid from that one version that has a plot?
Voice: OH! Well yeah we do. OK! You can nuke Ash! We don't care!
H.K.: Sweet.....where was I? Oh, yeah! (talks like Ed again) BUTTERED TOAST!!!!!!
Ash: I won't go down! (Throws down pokeball which releases Charizard) Catch the rocket!
Charizard: Ahhh? Roaaaa? (Translation: WTF? You're kiddin'!) (Catches rocket anyway and throws it toward the wild blue yonder....)
Meanwhile.....
-JFG ship (Juno's room)
Juno is reading a book, 'A thousand and one ways to kill Mizar's soldier drones', when suddenly.......
BOOM!!!!
A rocket imbedded itself in Juno's floor.
Juno: Oh....crap....no more peace.
Suddenly, twenty hamsters wearing strange headgear jump out of the rocket shouting "Ni!"
Large Hamster: *in a really high voice* We are the hamsters that say "NI!"
Others: Ni! Ni! Ni!
Juno: What does it take to get rid of you? Tri-Rockets? Plasma Shotguns?
L.H.: We demand...a shrubbery!
Juno: I can't get that! I'm in the middle of space!
Hamsters: Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!
Juno: Okay!...you shall have your shrubbery, great hamsters that say "Ni"...
L.H.: And not too small.
Juno: Okay.
L.H.: And not too expensive.
Juno: Okay...
-The Pokemon World
Dino2: Hmm....maybe I'll have some sugar too....it's better than reading this in a normal state of mind....*pops in a sugar cube with instructions that read: Hamster King's Really Hyper Pill. Do not eat if you want to have any trace of sanity left or you are not the Hamster King*
Scuzzball: Huh? WAIT! DON'T!
Dino2: What?
Bunny Lord: (comes to) Ahh......what the heck happened?
Ferret Mage: You thought you were a pokemon. Now destroy things!
Bunny Lord: (Gets out his axe) Okay!
H.K.: BUTTERED TOAST!!!!
This time, the rocket hits Ash and Charizard and explodes.
Pikachu: Pika? *starts bawling*
Misty: Why couldn't they get the hamsters that say "Ni!" ?
Dino2: BECAUSE WE DON'T LIKE YOU! HEHEHEHEHE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THE ANNOYING MOUSE HAS IMMENSE IDIOT POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!
Scuzzball: Uh...oh....
H.K.: I coulda told her that...
Ferret Mage: Um......this isn't good.
Dino2: THE MOUSE IS GOING TO BRING THE LOSER BACK! WE MUST KILL! KILL! KILL!
Misty suddenly sprouts a beard while Pikachu is dressed up in a clown outfit.
Tracey: Hi every-AAAAAH! *a knife is suddenly drawn through his heart.*
Scuzzball: COOL!
H.K.: I'm guessing that's the Author Magic attack.
Dino2: GREAT GUESS! HAHEHEHEHE! THE DUX SHALL ATTACK THEE, OH ANNOYING RODENT!
Pikachu: Pikachu? (suddenly sees himself in the clown outfit and starts dancing around like he's enjoying himself)
Misty: I'll kill you people! (releases many water Pokemon)
Scuzzball: This is supposed to kill me? (A Staryu hits Scuzzball in the groin) ........ahhhhhhh............ow. (Falls over)
Bunny Lord: Scuzzball!
Ferret Mage: (charging his magic) Zrion, Koiato, Ka- (gets hit by a water beam) Ow! Bastard! Anyway. Kat- (gets hit by an ice beam, he is frozen)
Bunny Lord: Ferret Mage! Okay bitch, you're dead! (gets out a cellphone and dials a number)
H.K.: (Stops cutting up a Seadra) Uh......what are you doing Bunny Lord?
Bunny Lord: Calling a friend.
Dino2: WEEEEEEEE! (Spins around, killing many people with her spear) DOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOM!!!!!!!!!!!
Bunny Lord is finished with his call. He puts the cellphone away.
Bunny Lord: (Evil, sadistic grin) It's only a matter of time.
???: Prepare for trouble!
???: And make it double!
Dino2: TEAM ROCKET!!!!!!HOORAY!!!!!!!!!!THEY SHALL STEAL ANNOYING RODENT!!!!HEHEHEHEHE!!!....though I'm not sure why...hmm...
Jessie: Never stop the Team Rocket motto!!!
James: Why is Pikachu in a clown outfit?.....
Meowth: It don't matta, we just gotta steal'im so da boss won't be mad at us again.
H.K.: Why? Can anything else go wrong. I hope Ash doesn't materialize!
Pikachu: Pika PI!!!!!!!!! (starts bawling again, and Ash materializes)
Dino2: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE DUX FLEW AWAY!!!!!!!!
Bunny Lord: (ears perk up) Hey! They're coming!
James: Who?
Something materializes, it's a bit blurry at first but the teleportation finishes fast. JFI is in shock.
Scuzzball: (weakly) It...can't be........!
Ferret Mage: (His head breaks out of the ice) It's Goku!
Sure enough, Goku is standing there. He is already in Super Sayjin form. He's in his regular battle gear.
H.K.: Bunny Lord, how do you know Goku?
Bunny Lord: Long story.
Goku: How's my rabbit friend? (taps Bunny Lord lightly, he goes flying) OH MY GOD! I'M SORRY BUNNY LORD!
Bunny Lord: (His head is through a tree) Don't...mention it.
Goku: That's the problem with going from planet to planet. (Looks at Misty) Is that the person that's been messing with you guys?
H.K.: (pulling Bunny Lord out of the tree) Yup.
Goku: Alright. (Charges up Energy) KAME!
Misty: What in the?
Goku: HAME!
Misty: Don't try it. I'll flash you! (Flashes Goku)
Goku: (Is paralyzed. He falls over) Uhn...
Misty: HA!
Goku: (flies back up) HA!
A huge beam of energy flies at Misty, disintegrating her on contact.
Goku: Alright! Is that all.
JFI: (Stands there, amazed at how Goku withstood Misty's flashing)
Goku: If you're wondering about how I was immune to that, It's easy. I closed my eyes.
Bunny Lord: Why didn't I think of that?
Goku: Later Bunny Lord! (dissapears)
Jessie: The twerp is back!
Bunny Lord: Damn. I should've told Goku to take care of him too.
Scuzzball: That's it....Bunny Lord. I'll handle this.
Suddenly, a mobile suit in the shape of a cat appears.
H.K.: NO! It's...
Dino2: Gundam Scuzzball!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Juno: Anyone seen a...(sees Gundam Scuzzball) Never mind....(walks away)
Ash: It's the Gundam Scuzzball attack!!!!!!!!!!!
Scuzzball: Hahahaha! Gundam Scuzzball, attack the rodent! KILL! KILL!!! NO MERCY!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! .....*cough*
Ash: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! (jumps in front of Gundam Scuzzball's weaponry and dissinigrates)
Pikachu: PIKAPI! (starts bawling before getting hit by several bullets from Gundam Scuzzball's machine gun.)
Dino2: COOOOOOOOOOL!
Ferret Mage: Awesome!
Jessie: NOOOOOOOOO! We can't steal our Pikachu!
Meowth: And dat means we're in trobal with da boss.
Dino2: Can dat Meowth talk normally?
Scuzzball: Oy.....Gundam Scuzzball, return to base....(the Gundam flies away)
Juno is seen walking by trying to carry a shrubbery.
Dino2: HEHEHEHE! The only dumbos left are Team Rocket!!!!!! HEHEHEHEHEHEHE!
Scuzzball:......
Feret Mage:.....
H.K.: FINALLY, MY AUTHOR PARTNER IS HYPER!!!!!! heHE! I HAVE BEEN WAITING TO SEE THIS FOR A LONG TIME!!!!!! THE FERRETS ARE SINGING BEAUTIFULLY TODAY!!!!!!!!!!
Dino2: ABCDEFG.......
James: I've got a feeling something bad is going to happen....
James suddenly sprouts a shrubbery on top of his head, a cage is drawn around Meowth, complete in clown outfit, and Jessie is turned into a goat.
Professor Oak: I heard there were some new Pokemon and I wanted to re-(a knife is drawn through Professor Oak's gut)search......(dies)
Scuzzball:.....that is still cool.
Ferret Mage:....I hear you.
Meanwhile....
-JFG ship (Juno's room)
Juno: I have brought you your shrubbery....will you go away now?
(the hamsters gobble up the shrubbery)
L.H.: Yes....but first we demand....ANOTHER SHRUBBERY!
Juno: I can't get that, it isn't in...
Hamsters: AAAAAH!
Juno: What is it?
Hamsters: AAAAAAH!
L.H.: DON'T SAY THAT WORD! THAT IS THE ONE WORD THE HAMSTERS THAT SAY 'NI' CANNOT BEAR TO HEAR!
Juno: If I don't know what it is, how can I keep from saying it?
Hamsters: AAAAAAH!
Vela: Hi Juno, how is it going?
Hamsters: AAAAAAH!
Juno: It's going great, thanks for asking about it.
Hamsters: AAAAAAAAH! (jump out the window)
Juno: .....Was it something I said?
Lupus: (walks in) I'm finally in this fic! (leaves)
-The Pokemon World
Jessie: BAAAAAAH!
Meowth: o.o
James: I'm getting out of here!
H.K.: BUTTERED TOAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ferret Mage: My turn! (Looks at the rocket. Charges Staff) KOIUTONINGHTIA!!!!!!!! The Rocket turns into twenty nuclear warheads.
James: Look's like Team Rocket's....
Jessie: BA BA BA BA BAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (Team Rocket blows up)
Suddenly, the hamsters that say "Ni" land on the ground, looking around for something.
L.H.: HAMSTER KING!!!!! CAN YOU POINT IN THE DIRECTION OF THE NEAREST SHRUBBERY, YOUR MAJESTY?
H.K.: SURE!!!!!!!!! THAT WAY!!!!!!!!(his paws are pointing in every direction)
L.H.: Oh yeah....this is wilderness, isn't it! SHRUBBERY FOR ALL GOOD HAMSTERS! AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Scuzzball:.....
Ferret Mage: Can I leave this horrid place?
Dino2: (shaking her head) Ow.....why do I feel so strange?
H.K.: YOU WERE HYPER!!!!!!! JUST LIKE ME!!!!!
Dino2: Wow........that's scary.........
H.K.: I WILL USE THE PLOT HOLE NOW!!!!!!!! (a door pops out of a black hole. Hamster King opens it and enters JFG ship. The others follow)
Bunny Lord: Why didn't we do this in the first place?
Ferret Mage: What? And destroy the plot?
-JFG ship
Juno: You were brave, very very brave. I didn't think you would make it....
Dino2: Hyperness is a great power......
H.K.: YES! A FUN power! REALLYREALLYREALLYREALLY Fun!
Scuzzball:......I'm leaving this place. (goes into cargo hold)
Ferret Mage: Don't you leave me here! (Follows Scuzzball)
Juno: I therefore declare your team Jet Force Insanity.
H.K.: CoOl!
Juno:....just stay out of my ship.......
Bunny Lord: AWWW....I was just getting friendly with the pink bunnies in here.
Juno: o.o
Dino2: Shall I end this?
H.K.: Please!
The screen suddenly goes dark and the words "THE END?" appear
by
The really psychotic Hamster King and Dinosaur2
and.....
The Hamster King's cohort, Mr. Scuzzball
with help from.......
Bunny Lord
who most likely had assistance by...........
Ferret Mage
It was your normal, everyday, peaceful, bright and chipper day in Pallet Town as our hero (yeah, right!) Ash Ketchum was walking towards the path to Route
1 with Misty and Brock and (dare I say it) Pikachu......
Meanwhile........
Our REAL heroes, Dino2, Mr.Scuzzball, Bunny Lord, Ferret Mage, and The Hamster King were walking down the path of Route 1.......
H.K.: BUMBABUMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!
Dino2: You've got to stop doing that.....
Bunny Lord: BUMBUMBUMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!
Dino2: Same for you!
Ferret Mage: BUMBU-
Dino2 took out her spear and cracked it over the head of Ferret Mage before he could finish.
Dino2:*annoyed* Why do you do that?
H.K.: Why? It annoys people to no end! So that's why I do it!
Dino2: And that's also how you annoyed Juno so much he teleported us to the world of Pokemon!!!!!!
H.K.: (Eyes get real big and he shudders violently as he remembers something)
-Flashback (JFG Ship)
Juno has the entire JFI crew in a crate. He has a flamethrower pointed at them. Obviously, they went to far in replacing Juno's coffee with decaf.
Bunny Lord: *really frightened* Can't we talk this out?
Juno looks at them, a crazed glint in his eye.
Juno: *really angry* NO! Shut up or I'll have fried rabbit!
Bunny Lord: *Backs up* Okay, you win.
Juno: *hits a button on the teleporter* Now then. You are either going to tell me where you hid my precious coffee or I'll send you to the world of Pokemon!
Ferret Mage: Uh....they're in H.K.'s crate.
Juno opens the crate to find millions of coffee beans.
Juno: Okay, I guess you can leave.
Dino2: Sweet.
Scuzzball: Hey, if, for some odd and strange reason, the ship leans and we were flung into that portal, if we got out could we be an official force?
Juno: Um.....lessee. *Gets out a book* It says here, if a group of people showed great heroism, were with us for at least three months, and escaped from a planet with little chance for survival, they could be a force.
H.K.: Nice, great, let me out of here! I'm cramping up!
Juno: Alright, alright, just.don't touch my coffee EVER again!
Juno is about to let the JFI crew go when disaster strikes. The ship leans and the crate bounces into the portal.
Juno: Oh crap. They're......gone forever.....oh well! Can't mourn forever! *leaves*
-Route 1
H.K.: See? Juno didn't send us here! It's a trial to finally become an official force to be reckoned with! (Shudders again) but still....
Bunny Lord: We....are where?
Ferret Mage: Are we....in Pokemon?
Mr. Scuzzball: What's wrong? We're just in the world of Pokemon.
H.K.: (Grabs Scuzzball.) IT ISN'T JUST A SIMPLE WORLD!!!!!! THE HUMANS HERE HAVE WIERD RED AND WHITE ORBS!!!!!! AND IF THEY TOUCH YA YOU'RE THEIR SLAVE FOR ALL ETERNITY!!!!!!!!! THAT'S WHY JUNO FLUNG US HERE!!!!!! SO WE CAN BE SOMEONE'S SLAVE AND NOT ANNOY HIM ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!
Scuzzball: Uh...okay.
Bunny Lord: We are so screwed.
Ferret Mage: Uh...guys? I'd hate to end this moment of panic, but I hear something.
?????: What's that?
?????: It could be a Pokemon!
?????: Let's check it out to break away from the old routine of going to a pokemon center!
H.K.: THE HUMAN SLAVE DRIVERS!!!!!!
Scuzzball: QUICK! HIDE!
Dino2: (sighs) Why am I even helping them?
Ferret Mage: So we don't get caught.
Our brave and slightly disturbed heroes leap behind a bush as Ash, Misty, Pikachu, and Brock arrive onto the scene.......
Ash: That's odd......
Misty: I could have sworn I heard a Pokemon ranting over here....
Brock:.......
Ash: A pokemon!
We see that Bunny Lord is standing in the middle of the field.
Bunny Lord: Oh, hell. I remember you people. You evil, disgusting people!
Brock: It's that rabbit.
Ash: (gets out a Pokeball) I'll catch it!
Bunny Lord: Like heck you are! (gets out his axe) You wanna piece of me gayboy?
Misty: Don't worry Ash! I'll stun him like I did the last time!
Bunny Lord: Wha....? Oh...NO!
Misty flashes Bunny Lord. Bunny passes out in a pool of his own vomit.
Ash: Heh heh heh. You're mine now, Bunny Lord. *drops a Pokeball on Bunny Lord.*
BUMBUMBUMMMMMMM!
Pikachu:(dances around like an idiot.....)
-In the Bush.....
Dino2 is looking at a serene stream while H.K. and Scuzzball, and Ferret Mage are shuddering.
H.K.: Y-y-you think there g-g-gone?
Scuzzball: I d-d-don't know.
Ferret Mage: N-n-n-need m-m-m-mana.
Just then, Scuzzball's tail swatted off H.K.'s crown and flinging it into the clearing that Ash was in.
H.K.: Good one doofus!
Scuzzball: Bite me! (points at tail) This thing has a mind of it's own!
Ferret Mage: Hey, where's Bunny Lord?
H.K.: Good question. Scuzzball, go look for the long-eared nutcase will you?
Scuzzball: (grabs his sword) Yeah, yeah, yeah. (leaves down the stream)
Ferret Mage: Let's watch this.
-In the clearing
Ash: Look, a crown!
Misty: A pokemon must be here! Look at it!
Brock: I'll lure it over here!
Pikachu: Pika! Pi!
Brock then puts a bag of sugar cubes on the ground. We all know what this will do to H.K.........
Dino2: Oh no.....
Ferret Mage: At least theare is no caffeine.....
H .K.: sugar? Sugar? SUGAR!!!!! SuGaR!!!!!!! Sugar+Me=Hyperness!!!!!!!! THE FERRETS HAVE ANSWERED THE CALL FOR CHEEZ IN A CAN!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!! HERE I COME O' TICKET TO INSANITY!!!!!!!!
Ferret Mage: I have not ans-
Dino2: (covers Ferret Mage's mouth) Don't disturb him.
H.K.: WEEEEEEEEAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Misty: What was that?
The Hamster King burst through the thicket, eyes locked on the sugar. And, after tackling the bag started to gnaw intently on the cubes after retrieving his crown. Dino2 and Ferret Mage lowered their heads in shame.....
Ash: Look it's a Raticate!!!!!
Misty: I dunno....
Brock: Use your Pokedex Ash.
Pikachu: Pikachu!
Scuzzball: That yellow rodent is really starting to annoy me.....
Ash brings out his Pokedex and gets a reading about our writer..........
Pokedex: *bing*
Hamster King #338
Type: Normal/Author
Attacks:
Huiko Mana Elite
Plot Hole
Grandia
Hyperactive attack
Reading:
The King of Huiko. A region in a distant world. Usually seen in the company of a Dino2, Bunny Lord, Ferret Mage, and a Lano Scuzzball. It has been known to go into an insane frenzy and/or use its Plot Hole to do strange things.
Ferret Mage: We gotta help him!
Dino2: I'll help you!!!!! If I don't I won't have anyone to write these insane stories with!!!!!
Ferret Mage gets out his staff and Dino2 gets out her spear. They both run into the clearing.
Ash: I'll catch it! (Gets out Pokeball)
Misty: (Hears running) What's that?
Dino2 and Ferret Mage leap out into the field and block Ash's shot at capturing the Hamster King.
H.K.: Thanks guys!
Dino2: You're not Hyper?!
H.K.: Of course I am! I'm just storing my energy!
Ferret Mage: I'm not suprised. (charges up staff) Let's disintegrate!
Ash: (pulls out Pokedex)
Pokedex:*bing*
Dino2 #331
Type: Rock/Author
Attacks:
Gunge Lance
Talon Slash
Author Magic
Swoop
Reading:
A Dinoian warrior in the Dinok islands. Its talons are most likely used to sever its prey's limbs before swallowing the pices in midair. Extreme caution is advised when capturing it. It's Author Magic attack should be feared by all.
Ferret Mage: Wow, you sound pretty dangerous Dino2.
H.K.: Yeah you have razor sharp talons! Use 'em!!! Save me!
Dino2: But I hate violence......
Brock: The mean 'ol dinosaur hates violence!!!!! (laughs)
Dino2: Why you......AHHHH!!!!!!!! (leaps and tears Brock limb from limb, then swallows him whole)
All: O.o
Dino2: (has Brock's arm in her mouth) What?
Misty: Uh......oh, look at the Ferret! (Points to Ferret Mage)
Ferret Mage: Geez, give me break. You people are idiots!
Pokedex: *bing*
Ferret Mage: ...... (The staff shoots out a lightning beam, destroying the Pokedex)
Ferret Mage: HA!
Ash: I'll show you! I'll catch you all! (Throws a Pokeball, Bunny Lord appears. His eyes are blank.)
Scuzzball: (comes back from searching) Hey guys, if Bunny Lord was here, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?!
H.K.: That's not Bunny Lord.
Ferret Mage: Hm, alright I got an idea.
Ash: Enough of your ideas! Bunny Lord, attack!
Bunny Lord jumps up, his axe poised to split anything in two. Everyone jumps out of the way as Bunny Lord splits a tree in two.
Bunny Lord: AAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Uh....wait.......oh yeah! KILL!!!!!!!!!!!
H.K.: Hold on Bunny Lord! I got something for you! *gets out a pack of Magic: The Gathering cards*
Bunny Lord: Kill? *Takes cards and sifts trough them* Got it, got it, got it, KILL!!!!!!!!
Dino2: Crap. Well, I guess we're all dead.
Ferret Mage: (Gets out a mirror) Wait! Bunny Lord! Look at yourself!
Bunny Lord: Kill? (He sees Ferret Mage in the other side of the mirror, the mirror turns out to be an empty frame. Ferret Mage's fist goes through the frame and socks Bunny Lord in the face. Bunny Lord goes out cold.)
Ferret Mage: Heh....I guess that worked. I'll cure Bunny Lord, you three slay them!
H.K.: (starts to glow) Uh oh.....
Dino2: What? Oh.....
Scuzzball: OH CRAP!!!!!!
Dino2 and Scuzzball, and Ferret Mage carrying Bunny Lord's body leap into the bushes.
Ash: Why did they run?
H.K.: (glowing) BIRDS!!!!!
Misty: What the.....?
H.K.: HALAFAX!!!!! SPROING!!!!! GING!!!! FEEBLEFETZERS ANONOYMUS!!!!! WHY OH WHY MUST I BE SMOTHERED IN PUDDING SKIN?!?!?!?!?!!!!!
Ash: Has he flipped?
Misty: It seems that way.....
H.K.: (Whips out a rocket launcher) JKL::DHOPgfugbpFUIXSNonicvnio!!!!
Ash: Oh crap!
Misty: The hyperactive attack!!!!!
H.K.: (talks like Ed off of Ed,Edd &Eddy) BUTTERED TOAST!!!!!!!! (fires the rocket launcher which fires the rocket and seconds before it hits Ash....)
.....it stops. Yup! It stops! Right in midair. Just then, a loud booming voice fills the forest.
Loud, booming voice: You cannot kill our only source of money!
H.K.: (talks normally) Don't you have that Silver kid? You know, the kid from that one version that has a plot?
Voice: OH! Well yeah we do. OK! You can nuke Ash! We don't care!
H.K.: Sweet.....where was I? Oh, yeah! (talks like Ed again) BUTTERED TOAST!!!!!!
Ash: I won't go down! (Throws down pokeball which releases Charizard) Catch the rocket!
Charizard: Ahhh? Roaaaa? (Translation: WTF? You're kiddin'!) (Catches rocket anyway and throws it toward the wild blue yonder....)
Meanwhile.....
-JFG ship (Juno's room)
Juno is reading a book, 'A thousand and one ways to kill Mizar's soldier drones', when suddenly.......
BOOM!!!!
A rocket imbedded itself in Juno's floor.
Juno: Oh....crap....no more peace.
Suddenly, twenty hamsters wearing strange headgear jump out of the rocket shouting "Ni!"
Large Hamster: *in a really high voice* We are the hamsters that say "NI!"
Others: Ni! Ni! Ni!
Juno: What does it take to get rid of you? Tri-Rockets? Plasma Shotguns?
L.H.: We demand...a shrubbery!
Juno: I can't get that! I'm in the middle of space!
Hamsters: Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!
Juno: Okay!...you shall have your shrubbery, great hamsters that say "Ni"...
L.H.: And not too small.
Juno: Okay.
L.H.: And not too expensive.
Juno: Okay...
-The Pokemon World
Dino2: Hmm....maybe I'll have some sugar too....it's better than reading this in a normal state of mind....*pops in a sugar cube with instructions that read: Hamster King's Really Hyper Pill. Do not eat if you want to have any trace of sanity left or you are not the Hamster King*
Scuzzball: Huh? WAIT! DON'T!
Dino2: What?
Bunny Lord: (comes to) Ahh......what the heck happened?
Ferret Mage: You thought you were a pokemon. Now destroy things!
Bunny Lord: (Gets out his axe) Okay!
H.K.: BUTTERED TOAST!!!!
This time, the rocket hits Ash and Charizard and explodes.
Pikachu: Pika? *starts bawling*
Misty: Why couldn't they get the hamsters that say "Ni!" ?
Dino2: BECAUSE WE DON'T LIKE YOU! HEHEHEHEHE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THE ANNOYING MOUSE HAS IMMENSE IDIOT POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!
Scuzzball: Uh...oh....
H.K.: I coulda told her that...
Ferret Mage: Um......this isn't good.
Dino2: THE MOUSE IS GOING TO BRING THE LOSER BACK! WE MUST KILL! KILL! KILL!
Misty suddenly sprouts a beard while Pikachu is dressed up in a clown outfit.
Tracey: Hi every-AAAAAH! *a knife is suddenly drawn through his heart.*
Scuzzball: COOL!
H.K.: I'm guessing that's the Author Magic attack.
Dino2: GREAT GUESS! HAHEHEHEHE! THE DUX SHALL ATTACK THEE, OH ANNOYING RODENT!
Pikachu: Pikachu? (suddenly sees himself in the clown outfit and starts dancing around like he's enjoying himself)
Misty: I'll kill you people! (releases many water Pokemon)
Scuzzball: This is supposed to kill me? (A Staryu hits Scuzzball in the groin) ........ahhhhhhh............ow. (Falls over)
Bunny Lord: Scuzzball!
Ferret Mage: (charging his magic) Zrion, Koiato, Ka- (gets hit by a water beam) Ow! Bastard! Anyway. Kat- (gets hit by an ice beam, he is frozen)
Bunny Lord: Ferret Mage! Okay bitch, you're dead! (gets out a cellphone and dials a number)
H.K.: (Stops cutting up a Seadra) Uh......what are you doing Bunny Lord?
Bunny Lord: Calling a friend.
Dino2: WEEEEEEEE! (Spins around, killing many people with her spear) DOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOM!!!!!!!!!!!
Bunny Lord is finished with his call. He puts the cellphone away.
Bunny Lord: (Evil, sadistic grin) It's only a matter of time.
???: Prepare for trouble!
???: And make it double!
Dino2: TEAM ROCKET!!!!!!HOORAY!!!!!!!!!!THEY SHALL STEAL ANNOYING RODENT!!!!HEHEHEHEHE!!!....though I'm not sure why...hmm...
Jessie: Never stop the Team Rocket motto!!!
James: Why is Pikachu in a clown outfit?.....
Meowth: It don't matta, we just gotta steal'im so da boss won't be mad at us again.
H.K.: Why? Can anything else go wrong. I hope Ash doesn't materialize!
Pikachu: Pika PI!!!!!!!!! (starts bawling again, and Ash materializes)
Dino2: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE DUX FLEW AWAY!!!!!!!!
Bunny Lord: (ears perk up) Hey! They're coming!
James: Who?
Something materializes, it's a bit blurry at first but the teleportation finishes fast. JFI is in shock.
Scuzzball: (weakly) It...can't be........!
Ferret Mage: (His head breaks out of the ice) It's Goku!
Sure enough, Goku is standing there. He is already in Super Sayjin form. He's in his regular battle gear.
H.K.: Bunny Lord, how do you know Goku?
Bunny Lord: Long story.
Goku: How's my rabbit friend? (taps Bunny Lord lightly, he goes flying) OH MY GOD! I'M SORRY BUNNY LORD!
Bunny Lord: (His head is through a tree) Don't...mention it.
Goku: That's the problem with going from planet to planet. (Looks at Misty) Is that the person that's been messing with you guys?
H.K.: (pulling Bunny Lord out of the tree) Yup.
Goku: Alright. (Charges up Energy) KAME!
Misty: What in the?
Goku: HAME!
Misty: Don't try it. I'll flash you! (Flashes Goku)
Goku: (Is paralyzed. He falls over) Uhn...
Misty: HA!
Goku: (flies back up) HA!
A huge beam of energy flies at Misty, disintegrating her on contact.
Goku: Alright! Is that all.
JFI: (Stands there, amazed at how Goku withstood Misty's flashing)
Goku: If you're wondering about how I was immune to that, It's easy. I closed my eyes.
Bunny Lord: Why didn't I think of that?
Goku: Later Bunny Lord! (dissapears)
Jessie: The twerp is back!
Bunny Lord: Damn. I should've told Goku to take care of him too.
Scuzzball: That's it....Bunny Lord. I'll handle this.
Suddenly, a mobile suit in the shape of a cat appears.
H.K.: NO! It's...
Dino2: Gundam Scuzzball!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Juno: Anyone seen a...(sees Gundam Scuzzball) Never mind....(walks away)
Ash: It's the Gundam Scuzzball attack!!!!!!!!!!!
Scuzzball: Hahahaha! Gundam Scuzzball, attack the rodent! KILL! KILL!!! NO MERCY!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! .....*cough*
Ash: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! (jumps in front of Gundam Scuzzball's weaponry and dissinigrates)
Pikachu: PIKAPI! (starts bawling before getting hit by several bullets from Gundam Scuzzball's machine gun.)
Dino2: COOOOOOOOOOL!
Ferret Mage: Awesome!
Jessie: NOOOOOOOOO! We can't steal our Pikachu!
Meowth: And dat means we're in trobal with da boss.
Dino2: Can dat Meowth talk normally?
Scuzzball: Oy.....Gundam Scuzzball, return to base....(the Gundam flies away)
Juno is seen walking by trying to carry a shrubbery.
Dino2: HEHEHEHE! The only dumbos left are Team Rocket!!!!!! HEHEHEHEHEHEHE!
Scuzzball:......
Feret Mage:.....
H.K.: FINALLY, MY AUTHOR PARTNER IS HYPER!!!!!! heHE! I HAVE BEEN WAITING TO SEE THIS FOR A LONG TIME!!!!!! THE FERRETS ARE SINGING BEAUTIFULLY TODAY!!!!!!!!!!
Dino2: ABCDEFG.......
James: I've got a feeling something bad is going to happen....
James suddenly sprouts a shrubbery on top of his head, a cage is drawn around Meowth, complete in clown outfit, and Jessie is turned into a goat.
Professor Oak: I heard there were some new Pokemon and I wanted to re-(a knife is drawn through Professor Oak's gut)search......(dies)
Scuzzball:.....that is still cool.
Ferret Mage:....I hear you.
Meanwhile....
-JFG ship (Juno's room)
Juno: I have brought you your shrubbery....will you go away now?
(the hamsters gobble up the shrubbery)
L.H.: Yes....but first we demand....ANOTHER SHRUBBERY!
Juno: I can't get that, it isn't in...
Hamsters: AAAAAH!
Juno: What is it?
Hamsters: AAAAAAH!
L.H.: DON'T SAY THAT WORD! THAT IS THE ONE WORD THE HAMSTERS THAT SAY 'NI' CANNOT BEAR TO HEAR!
Juno: If I don't know what it is, how can I keep from saying it?
Hamsters: AAAAAAH!
Vela: Hi Juno, how is it going?
Hamsters: AAAAAAH!
Juno: It's going great, thanks for asking about it.
Hamsters: AAAAAAAAH! (jump out the window)
Juno: .....Was it something I said?
Lupus: (walks in) I'm finally in this fic! (leaves)
-The Pokemon World
Jessie: BAAAAAAH!
Meowth: o.o
James: I'm getting out of here!
H.K.: BUTTERED TOAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ferret Mage: My turn! (Looks at the rocket. Charges Staff) KOIUTONINGHTIA!!!!!!!! The Rocket turns into twenty nuclear warheads.
James: Look's like Team Rocket's....
Jessie: BA BA BA BA BAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (Team Rocket blows up)
Suddenly, the hamsters that say "Ni" land on the ground, looking around for something.
L.H.: HAMSTER KING!!!!! CAN YOU POINT IN THE DIRECTION OF THE NEAREST SHRUBBERY, YOUR MAJESTY?
H.K.: SURE!!!!!!!!! THAT WAY!!!!!!!!(his paws are pointing in every direction)
L.H.: Oh yeah....this is wilderness, isn't it! SHRUBBERY FOR ALL GOOD HAMSTERS! AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Scuzzball:.....
Ferret Mage: Can I leave this horrid place?
Dino2: (shaking her head) Ow.....why do I feel so strange?
H.K.: YOU WERE HYPER!!!!!!! JUST LIKE ME!!!!!
Dino2: Wow........that's scary.........
H.K.: I WILL USE THE PLOT HOLE NOW!!!!!!!! (a door pops out of a black hole. Hamster King opens it and enters JFG ship. The others follow)
Bunny Lord: Why didn't we do this in the first place?
Ferret Mage: What? And destroy the plot?
-JFG ship
Juno: You were brave, very very brave. I didn't think you would make it....
Dino2: Hyperness is a great power......
H.K.: YES! A FUN power! REALLYREALLYREALLYREALLY Fun!
Scuzzball:......I'm leaving this place. (goes into cargo hold)
Ferret Mage: Don't you leave me here! (Follows Scuzzball)
Juno: I therefore declare your team Jet Force Insanity.
H.K.: CoOl!
Juno:....just stay out of my ship.......
Bunny Lord: AWWW....I was just getting friendly with the pink bunnies in here.
Juno: o.o
Dino2: Shall I end this?
H.K.: Please!
The screen suddenly goes dark and the words "THE END?" appear
