So this is a thing I wrote for Camp to blow off steam from my dissertation. I said that I would write this for my Druid Star back when we lived together two years ago (I'm doing so well). Anyway this is a crossover of Love Stage and the Matthew Horne/James Cordon film Lesbian Vampire Killers and it is every bit a wonderfully stupid as both of these. This is meant in complete parody so if there is anything contained within this story that offends it wasn't meant to. Hope you enjoy, here's a little taste of what's to come.
Centuries ago, during the dawning of the sparkling red moon, a peaceful hamlet in the east of England was terrorised by a frightening and horrible beast. Born not of woman, but spewed forth from the fieriest pits of Hades that the Devil himself could not contain with an evil fuelled by a love of men. This beast was the Vampire King.
No one could defeat the Vampire King save one man: a young baron who had been away from his home for decades, fighting in the Crusades. Upon his return the baron found that the Vampire King's desires had ensnared that of all the men in the village including his own most trusted friend, turning them all into lovers of the shlong.
Consumed with the idea of vengeance the baron pledged to destroy the Vampire King and reduce the village to ashes so that no one else would have to suffer the same fate as he had. He unearthed the sacred Books of Nakros where he discovered that the only way of slaying the unholy demon once and for all was to forge a sacred sword. This weapon was blessed with an ancient Babylonian hex and infused with the baron's own blood.
Without fear he returned to the village and confronted the Vampire King but before he could strike the fatal blow the Vampire King struck back. He marked the baron, tearing three deep streaks through his flesh just above the baron's heart and laid down a curse most vile.
"As you strike me down so you shall release the evil
within me into you son and the sons of your sons
and they shall not rest until your bloodline has ended!
All will know your breed by these marks above your heart
and when the life's blood of the last of your line
mixes with that who has never known the touch of a woman
I shall rise again, more powerful than you will ever imagine!"
With that the baron took up his sword and lopped his fucking head off.
From that moment on in that village upon his eighteenth birthday even man is turned by the Vampire King's curse and reborn a Yaoi Vampire. Their only salvation is a prophecy that foretells of the day when the last descendent of the baron's bloodline shall return to the hamlet and vanquish the Vampire King's curse forever.
That time, along with our story, has begun...
