Chapter One
"I'm your head of security, and you want me to be a chauffeur and a babysitter?" Joe quipped, disgusted at the thought of driving around a 15 year old girl for the entirety of their stay.

"For the time being, yes. The child needs protection." Clarisse came back with a biting force.
"Your majesty…" He began to protest once more when Clarisse brought her hand to her head.
"I expected her to be shocked, but I did not expect her to run." She said, squaring off with Joe. "Joseph. Will you do this?"
"Yes, your majesty." He couldn't refuse her. She looked genuinely upset at the way her granddaughter had reacted. Clarisse put a hand on his arm. He flinched slightly. It was the first contact they had since arriving in America.
"Thank you." She said, squeezing his arm gently, and turning to go back into the consulate.
Joseph touched the place where her hand had been. These moments were few, but they were something he enjoyed. He could remember every place that she had touched. After loving her in secret for so many years, these moments were all he had.
"Charlotte" he called.
"Yes?"
"Can you make sure her majesty has a car ready at all times? And make sure when I am away that you are taking extra care of her. And when…"
"Everything is under control, sir."
"Right." Joseph gave an apologetic look and began to walk away. He walked past the tea left cold on the table, and stupidly envied Clarisse's teacup for meeting her lips.

It had been too many years that he had watched her. He watched her forge a deep friendship with the king. He watched as they said their vows, as so many did. He watched as her body grew swollen and sore with pregnancy, and shrank only to swell again a year later. He watched her kiss and coddle her children. He watched her try to form a romantic relationship with her husband, sometimes in painful detail. He watched wrinkles form around her eyes. He watched her cry when her firstborn announced his abdication. He watched her face turn to glass when she lost her husband, and he watched her shatter when she lost her son.

And now he was watching her sit alone with her hands folded on her lap – worry on her brow. He wanted nothing but to hold her. He didn't want to watch anymore, he wanted to envelope her and take her away from everything. She had waited so long to meet her granddaughter. At first he knew it was to continue the bloodline, but now that she had seen her, he knew it was family that broke her heart now.

A hoarse voice cut through her silence.
"Clarisse"
She jumped slightly and stood up to look at Joseph. He was silhouetted by the light coming through the window; his soft features turned sharp in the sun.

"Joseph" she said. Her tone was scolding. She didn't like when he called her by her name; it was too personal, and it made her feel too many emotions all at once. She could maintain a distance if he only spoke her title.
He stiffened. He knew this tone. It always preceded words like "Not now" and "monarchy." And it always carried an air of political rejection.
"I was just checking on you. Should I send Charlotte in with some tea?" He tried to cover up what he had really wanted to say.
"Come here." She motioned for him to sit down next to her.
"Yes, your majesty" Clarisse sighed softly, she had needed him just moments before, but she couldn't bring herself to admit it.
"I was…I am rather upset about this, you know. I was so looking forward to meeting our future queen. Someone bright and cool. Young, but teachable. And now…"
"You don't think she's capable?"
"Well…that's why I need you to watch her. I'll go talk to her tomorrow, bring both the cars, and you will be driving her to school."
"Madame…" He started to protest again. Why couldn't someone else drive around a 15 year old girl? He certainly had bigger things to do as the queen's head of security.
"Joseph, there is no one I trust to do this more than you." She said softly. He stood up, and looked at her.
"I won't let you down, your majesty" He joked, leaving the room. The truth was that he needed to leave; what she had just proclaimed shocked him, and his need to pull her close was overtaking his rational thoughts.
"Joseph! I wasn't done" she called after him. He turned and took a few steps toward her.
"What else can I do for you, your majesty?" It was Joseph who needed that distance at this moment. Clarisse saw him fidgeting slightly with the keys on his belt. She stepped forward and steadied his hand with her own. He tensed as she slid her small hand into his palm and squeezed, keeping it there as she spoke.
"I've had a change of heart. When it is only us in the room, you may call me Clarisse" He used his thumb to stroke the back of her hand.
"There is nothing I would like more, Clarisse" Of course this is a lie she saw right through. She knew how he felt. How could they be in the same room every day for so many years and not form some kind of friendship…or more?

Clarisse often thought about what it would have been like to meet Joseph on the street in Puerto Rico. Every last detail had crossed her mind. The clothing, the weather, the café… It would have all been perfect. These were improper thoughts for a queen to have, but she kept them buried inside like a sort of light for her love for him.

She had to be careful. No one could know that she felt anything for her head of security – including him. Clarisse would be mortified if anyone knew. It was too soon after the loss of her husband to reveal a 30 year secret affair that had been taking place in her fantasies. She had loved Rupert deeply, but there was never passion. He was her best friend and confident, and the marriage had gone splendidly. There was always the matter of Joseph. Rupert knew. He never told her that he did, but he had seen them interacting, and you could have lit fires with the sparks they thought they were not emitting.

Joseph never suspected that Clarisse had any feelings for him. Why would a married queen even think about him as more than her head of security? He knew this trip to America could make or break his chances at ever telling her how he felt. He wanted so badly to be too tough for such a long secret love, but he wasn't. It had been going on since the moment he saw her. No one else ever quite matched up. He knew that she had feelings of a friendship that she tried so hard to fight – nothing more.