A/N: lmao, hey remember me? yeah i was supposed to continue that twd fanfic but every time i wrote chapter 15 something would happen and all the files of my computer would get deleted ): it seems like the universe doesn't want me to write that thing (i wish i was kidding, but that happened TWICE).
ANYWAY, during this hiatus, i became obsessed with until dawn and mr robot heheheh, sorry, cant help it, rami malek is my bby turtle. So yeah, enjoy this or don't, whatever. Josh is a little bit ooc in the first two chapters, but trust me: I'm putting a lot of effort on this shit to come out prefect. so it's worth it. it really is. I'm a sucker for aus, so it's not gonna be the same story, since the games has many ending possibilities, I decided I'll create one myself just bc I can heh.
also: if you have no idea what im talking about and you're just here because you follow me, search for until dawn on youtube. you're welcome.
also2: starting from next chapter, I'll begin to put the a/n on the end of the fic, ok bYE
enjoy!
rated M for drugs, explicit sex and swear/bad language.
We're never done with killing time
Can I kill it with you
'Till the veins run red and blue?
We come around here all the time
Got a lot to not do
Let me kill it with you.
(Lorde)
~ooOOoo~
"Ms. Stillbloom, please-" The receptionist started to call her, but the girl cut her off.
"Oh, fuck off."
The girl stormed out of the room, adjusting her backpack on her shoulder.
"Stillbloom!" Dr Alan Hill called her from the door of his office. "Our session is not done yet!"
"Well, I am!" She screamed back and raced out of the office and rushing downstairs.
Hill just sighed and looked at Joshua who was sitting in the waiting room, watching the scene. It wasn't quite the good impression he was expecting to have from the new Doctor.
"Well." Hill said looking at him. "It seems your appointment is going to start earlier today."
Josh stood up and walked towards the man's office.
"Have a seat." The older man indicated a chair in front of his desk. Josh sat down and observed the place. He watched as the Doctor sat and opened a new file, which was blank. "I'm your new therapist, Doctor Hill. Your full name?"
Hill didn't even look at him as he talked. Josh was uncomfortable with the new desk and chair area. The last shrink he went had a sofa for him to sit. It was more comfortable.
"Joshua Washington." He answered the doctor.
"Have you ever consulted a psychiatrist before, Joshua?"
Josh felt a certain irritation growing on his chest. Mrs. Washington already had called Hill and told everything about Josh to him. He knew everything. Then why was he asking those questions?
Hesitant, Josh nodded, looking at everywhere but the doctor's face. He watched as the older man wrote something down, in a new file. Josh's file.
"Were you taking any medications?"
"Yeah… Antidepressants."
Dr Hill nodded as he wrote down even more. The silence invaded the room as Josh observed his new Doctor. He was different from the other. Had a little OCD; you could tell that just by looking at his desk. There was a place for everything. His pens, papers, even for framed photos of his family.
"Your mom mentioned something about your sisters?" He asked, interrupting Josh's thoughts.
He hesitated again, but nodded.
"They're... They're gone." He started telling him. "I mean we're still looking for them, but... They just vanished."
Dr Hill nodded and wrote everything down.
Is he seriously going to write down everything I say?
"And how do you feel about that?" Hill asked.
He knew how it worked. He was doing this since he was eleven, he knew how shrinks read people. He knew how they knew if someone was lying. He had to be honest or it would be worse for him later.
"Guilty." He replied after taking a deep breath. "I passed out, I woke up and... They were gone." He swallowed hard. "Hannah, she was so… So naïve. She would believe anything anyone would tell her." He breathed again. "There was… There was a prank. She fell for it. And then Beth went after and… They never came back."
Josh didn't realize he was spilling everything out until he reached the end of the session. He spat everything; the anger of himself, of his friends, the way he missed this sisters, the self-hate.
He got out of the office and raced straight to the stairs. He didn't want anyone to know he was crying.
Maybe if I hadn't drunk that much... I would be there for them. For Hannah.
He hated himself for not being a good big brother. For not protecting them. For not being there for Hannah went she was deceived.
"Hey, kid." A voice brought him back to reality, making him realize that he was already outside of the building, with tears streaming down his face. "You okay?"
He turned his head towards the voice's owner. It was the girl who had stormed out of the office earlier. She was leaned on the wall of the building, looking at him.
He stared at her, from toes to head. He stared at her combat boots and her 3/4 grey socks together with a black pantyhose, her denim shorts and a white oversized social shirt, that probably didn't even belong to her, and her military styled jacket. A clubmaster rayban rested on the top of her head, keeping her black and blue hair away from her pale face. She looked at him with furrowed eyebrows and dark brown eyes behind the smoked grey and black makeup. Her nails were painted black and a cigarette was in between her fingers.
"Yeah." He finally replied to her, sniffing and wiping away his tears. She scoffed and blew the smoke she had inside her lungs.
"You don't look like it." She said, looking away from him.
He stared at her for a moment in silence. "You're the one to talk."
She frowned and looked at him again.
"Hey, that old fart should be thanking me for going home earlier today, okay?" She put her cigarette between her lips and smoked once more. "Besides, he was getting on my nerves since last week."
"PMS?" Josh leaned against the wall beside her, but kept his distance.
The girl just looked him dead in the dead.
"Very funny, kid." She replied blowing her smoke.
He laughed slightly. "Why are you still here anyway?"
"I'm waiting for someone."
"Your ride?"
"More like a client." She half smiled and laughed when saw Josh's confused look. "I'm not a whore, relax." She sighed. "Let's just say I got the good stuff."
Ah, a drug dealer.
"I'm not surprised." He said, crossing his arms. She laughed once more, letting her cigarette fall on the ground and stepping on it.
"I like you, kid." She said. "I'm keeping you."
"Would you stop calling me 'kid'?" He said a little irritated. "I'm taller and probably older than you."
The girl raised her eyebrows. "No, you're not!" she insisted.
"Oh, yeah?" He challenged her. "I'm going to be 20 next May."
She stared at him for a moment, biting her bottom lip and blinking a few times.
"Shit." she smirked. "You really are older than me."
He smiled at her but she didn't see it. She looked away from his green eyes, spotting the person she was waiting for.
"And how old are you?" He asked, curious.
"That would be something you need to find out by yourself." She said, putting her sunglasses on and shoving her hands into her pockets. "Let me know if you need something... Y'know, to make you a little happier. I'll be here every Wednesday, unfortunately." She half smiled at him and started walking to cross the street, but turned away again. "I'm Luna, by the way."
"Josh." He waved at her and watched her walking away and almost getting hit by a car, flipping it off when the honk echoed through the street.
On the way home, he couldn't get Luna out of his head. There was something different about her. It wasn't the colorful hair, or the way she talked. It was something unique on her.
Something good.
~oOo~
It was getting harder and harder for Josh to get up in the mornings. All he could hear was silence. When the twins were there, the mornings were usually loud, with sounds of hair
dryers and talking between the girls. There was even sometimes when they had a fight. Those times were time where he just wished for some silent in the mornings.
He would give anything to get them back.
He'd been taking his meds, not that they helped much, but he had to take something. He was becoming more and more addicted to the old antidepressants. He needed something stronger.
"Have you been sleeping well?" Dr Hill asked, bringing Josh to reality.
He blinked a few times, before replying to the shrink.
"Yeah."
"Well, the bags under your eyes don't agree with you." He wrote something down his file again. "I'm going to prescribe you some sleeping pills, the weak ones, for a start. You're going to start taking them only when you feel like you can't sleep."
Josh nodded. It was common. He usually wouldn't speak much, only answered the doctor's questions, which made him even worse than before. Hill seemed to know how to reach the part of his soul that hurt the most. And that was killing Josh. It was making him feel even guiltier.
When the session was over, he walked out of the building and met Luna in the same spot than the week before, smoking the same brand of cigarette.
However... There was something different on her this time. It wasn't the different clothes or the hair up in bun. She had bags under her eyes too. Her look was vague, focusing on nothing in particular.
"Hey." He was the first to talk, getting her attention.
"Hey, pretty boy." She said when she looked at him, forcing a smile. "How'd go?"
"Didn't see you leaving." He ignored her question.
"Yeah." She gave her cigarette a smoke and then sighed. "I skipped today's session."
He frowned. "Why?"
She looked away, blowing her smoke and shook her head. "Had a fight with my evil stepmother. Didn't feel like talking about my feelings today."
Josh nodded, but she didn't see him. They were silent for a moment while she finished her cigarette. He had no idea of what to say. She looked at him, and faked a laugh.
"Well, that was depressing." She said, shoving her hands on her leather jacket pockets. "I'm gonna need some artificial happiness for this."
She took a plastic bag with weed out of her pocket and showed to him, smirking.
"Wanna get high, pretty boy?" She invited him. "I'll make an exception for you. All for free... Well, as long as you share it me."
Josh let out a laugh and shook his head.
"No thanks." He answered.
"Aw, come on!" She insisted. "Let's just get high and... Walk around LA, like we own this damn city."
He laughed again, looking at the ground.
"As much fun this sounds... I can't. My parents will be here in a minute." He lied.
Luna looked at him for a moment and then just sighed.
"Okay, whatever." She put the weed back in her pocket. "Keep with your antidepressants, then."
"How do you know that I take antidepressants?" He asked her, frowned.
"Because I take them too." She replied, putting another cigarette between her lips and lighting it. "What's that saying? 'It takes one mad person to recognize another'...? I don't know, something that I saw on a stupid TVshow."
"What?" He asked, confused.
She sighed. "Forget it."
"Are you okay?" He leaned his shoulder on the wall, fully facing her.
"No." She answered after a second or two in silence.
"Then... Why did you skip your session?" He teased her, half smiling. It was his way of dealing with serious subjects; teasing and making jokes about it. Or when he didn't know what to do.
Luna looked at Josh smirking.
"I don't think he's a good shrink." She smoked the cigarette once more. "My evil step mother pays him to put some sense in me." She looked at her boots, grabbing the straps of her backpack with one hand. "It ain't working. All he does is just... Write, and write and write. Don't you just die of curiosity to know what he writes about you?" She looked straight in his eyes.
Josh shrugged. "It annoys me, but I don't think I'd wanna know what he thinks of me."
"I do." She stared at the street. "I will."
He just looked confused at her. Something in her eyes caught his attention. It was anger or curiosity. It was honesty.
"Okay." He said after a minute or two in silence.
"I should probably go." She said, taking her phone off her pocket. "Yeah, I should go." She widened her eyes to the screen and turned her back to him, starting to walk. "See ya."
"Wait, Luna!" He called her and she turned around to face him.
Ask her, c'mon, you've done this a million times.
"Take care." He breathed. It wasn't what he wanted to say, but it would've to do.
She gave him a bright smile.
"You too, pretty boy."
~ooOOoo~
also3: I just assumed Josh lived in LA because of his father being a big film producer and stuff, this probably is not true, I don't really know where the gang lives but this is called fanFICTION amrite lmao. Also I thought it would be better if "the incident" happened in December of 2014 because it would make sense, since .com says that Josh's birthday is may 20th, and he's twenty years old. But after writing fucking seven chapters I looked it up to find out that they removed that information, yea, tHANKS A LOT.
also4 (last one I promise): im not from usa and english is not my first language, so pls be nice and disregard any typos or grammar mistakes. thank u
also5 (ok, i lied): as I never went to LA I don't know how is there, so ill be very vague about the places there in the lovely America which I wanted to visit so bad but the dollar its too expensive in brazilian money. fuck my life
ok, that's it! I hope you stick around to read the rest (:
