I don't think I'll ever forget the first time I saw you cry.
It was just after the Oz Dust ball, maybe a week, maybe more, and although i suppose it was at the ball we became friends, i think it was only later that I really got to know you. The real you, not the sarcastic shell you wore like a mask around everyone else at Shiz, and not the slightly less sarcastic, slightly more relaxed version I was treated to for the first week or so of our friendship.
It was about 11 o'clock, and I'd left Shenshens party early for once, pleading a made-up headache for an excuse. I didn't know I had decided to go until I was in the corridor outside our room, and I still wasn't sure why I wanted to leave in the first place.
Something had changed, and while i had no idea when it had first happened, i knew that the people whose company I'd once craved suddenly seemed shallow and boring. The parties I'd once loved had lost some of their excitement once I'd started to realise they were all the same, and the chatter that had once been my oxygen had started to suffocate me with its insipidness.
At the same time, your caustic remarks that had once irritated me suddenly felt like a breath of fresh air. I found myself hoping you were in our room when I got back, even just to see you roll your eyes and say something sarcastic about my new dress. You were the only person, it seemed, with a mind of their own.
And to me, stifled with adoration, you were the easiest person to be around because I didn't have to be perfect anymore.
With you, I could just be.
I was hoping you'd be still be awake as I pushed open the door, but when I saw you curled up on your bed with your back to the door, I guessed you'd fallen asleep.
I was in the middle of taking off my shoes when I heard stifled sobbing.
At first I wondered where it was coming from.
Then I realised it was you.
Up until then, I'd never thought you capable of tears. Seriously, if anyone had asked me, I would have said you just didn't. And it's not like I didn't realise you probably had enough problems to stress anyone out, like the stupid, mindless prejudice you'd probably had to put up with every day of your life.
Its just that until then, with your smile that hid so much bitterness, your perfect grades, your acid sense of humour and sarcastic remarks, I'd always assumed you didn't care.
And now I was seeing just how wrong I was...
