Me and Sakura, Kakashi Hatake and Sakura Haruno a sweet couple with a sad tail of love. It's mostly sad because I was so pathetic through the whole story. I'm now here to tell you the long tail of how we got together. Please be patient with me if I start to babble about my feelings.
I watched as a pink haired jounin I once taught slaughtered several ninja. She looked back at me and waited for a response. I mumbled something of some sort and she looked away. I was so glad she took that as a answer for I was about to hide pathetically my blush of a life time. I had been falling hard and fast for Sakura-chan since she turned 18. Her body had matured and not only that, her mind had matured. She thought and wanted at my level and I loved that. Her annoying pointless crush on Sasuke faded and we got closer each day. Now she is 22 and I'm 37. I know my age is sad and wrong when I look at her with eyes of a lover. She grew more then I expected. She knows when she's gone to far or when she's needed. The only problem is I need her but I'm to hard to read, even for the most greatest of ninja. If I said it out loud I would die of shame.
"Kakashi are your staring off into space again?" Sakura asked me with sweet twirl.
Oh and did I tell you, she stopped calling me sensei on her own. I didn't even have to hint it, she just stopped and that made me love her even more.
"Huh, oh yeah." I stated pretending to only hear parts of what she said.
If I showed the true feeling I felt for the women, I would probably be smacked. Love could be the word that expresses my true feelings, but I'm not good with that exact feeling. My cold heartless shell is probably a defense mechanism, after all I am a ninja, but a defense for what. That's where love fits in, see I don't love really anymore because of the several friends and little family I had died in shame or because of me. I was stupid when I was younger and now I can't show emotion correctly.
"Um sensei I have something to ask of you." Whispered Sakura by my ear.
She gets close a lot and it makes me desperate, sad, maybe even mad. She makes things difficult, through her eyes I'm a old ofe that knows a few good tricks.
"Yes."
I responded total not ready for what she was going to ask next. She walked in front of me and looked down to her feet that fiddled in the dirt.
"Well, how do you know when some one loves you more then eternity its self?"
I couldn't answer her question, I now know it was meant to bring me to say it. Sakura used to toy with me and I couldn't even figure that much out.
"Well Sakura I guess, when they can't even say your name when you enter a room or maybe when they look into yours eyes and only see your dreams and your accomplishments. I'm not really the one to ask." I stated while rubbing the back of my head.
She looked up at me and lifted the headband with her index finger. She slowly revealed my sharingan and started to smile. I wanted to turn away in disgust, but how could I actually I was enjoying this. The fact she wasn't scared of my sharingan, like she was scared of Sasuke's. Her smile faded and she turned around bringing her hands to her face. That was the only thing she hadn't changed, when she felt embarrassed or sad she still acted the same as when she was 12.
"Kakashi, have you loved?" She asked me with a loud proud voice.
I couldn't lie to her, so I spoke what I knew.
"Yes." I answered with a small sigh.
"That's great who is it?" How could I answer that question.
"I can't tell you that."
At least I didn't lie to her, I really couldn't tell her if I tried. She started to clean up the mess of the dead shenobi of the sound while I thought to myself. She knelt over the bloody ground and started to make hand signs to a jutsu that would eliminate the smell. I grabbed her shoulder, only to receive a punch from her end. I moved to the side and she continued to clean the mess.
"Sensei, I can do this just go back to the village." She said this with a bit of anger.
I became sick, she said sensei and every time she does so it makes me feel like a pedophile. I started to walk away to konoha, when I heard a scream. I spinned around and sakura was gone. Another weird fact is that the mess was clean. Something was up, normally now a days Sakura is so powerful that no one I know can even touch her. Well I'm a exception, after all I am her sensei. There goes that word again, sensei.
"Sakura."
I spoke slightly louder so that she may hear me. She tapped my shoulder and I turned around. I saw her as she teased me while walking away from me and toward the village.
"Hai Kakashi did I scare you?" She mocked.
"Don't do that to your sensei, I thought a enemy ninja got a hold of you." I breathed full of relief.
She ran off even faster and out of sight. I walked behind slowly. She was toying or just screwing with me, I don't know. All I knew was that she was so beautiful I wanted to drop and drool. I wanted to grab that body and claim it as mine. My wishes would be granted eventually, but now I was left to suffer in her presence. Her smell seduces me and her face makes me want to capture her lips and never let go. I made it to the gate and waved to the guys. I walked pass them peacefully with a wave goodbye as well. They just laughed and chuckled and enjoyed each others company as I did Sakura's. I walked by the Yamanaka flower shop and stopped at the pink adorable flowers. I don't know what any of these were called, but they reminded me of sakura so I am addicted to them. Do you know how long this tugging of temptation had been going on? A full year to be exact, its a daily thing. I wait to be with her and regret later that I was in her presence. You feel sympathy for me and I laugh at it. I don't deserve any sympathy, I mean after all I'm in love with a former student. A pervert like me shouldn't even have the same rights as faithful shenobi. I wish some day she would hurry up and fall in love so that she's not available for the taking. Maybe that would make it easier.
"Hia, silver sensei what up?" Ssked Ino while standing by me and noticing the flowers I stared at. "Oh those ones again, what are you waiting for the perfect time to give them to her." Ino said realizing I was dating or admiring some one.
"What her, there's no her!" I freaked out, being a idiot clouded by beauty.
"Okay, okay, jeez you act as if your oh~" She stopped talking and hugged my arm.
I started to pull away awkwardly, did all of the konoha females hug all the time.
"Um Ino people are starting to stare." I stated. She looked up at me and smiled.
"Well of course, who wouldn't be confused if a gay ninja was with a female."
"I'm not gay, where do you get that idea."
"Your just like Asuma! God! I thought the same thing until well he finally bought them and gave them to Kurenia-sensei." She ran back inside and came back with a notepad. "Ok tell me the first letter of her name?"
"Ino, your a idiot." I stated before walking further down the street.
I soon came home got into some jeans and a white button up shirt, the short mask immediately went on after that. It probably has another name, but I'm a male ninja I'm not specialized in clothing. After dressing I went to the park to enjoy the fresh air and watch Sakura play with the small children. She always cared for others more then herself. Lately she's been seeing this man, maybe she finally falling in love. Every time I looked at the man though he reminds me of Sasuke. It's kinda funny how they lie to me if I ask or were they just lying to protect me. I only asked once so, I can't say especially since it was three words 'who are you' and he didn't even hear me. And then sakura would ask me something, I didn't know how to answer her with questions like 'are you ok' o'r how was your day?' How pathetic is that, I can't even answer simple questions.
"Kakashi, come on Yuki you have to meet him!" Shouted Sakura dragging the brown haired man towards me.
I was quiet startled it took me a few seconds to realize she had said anything to me. The man wore some regular jeans with a red t-shirt, is shoes state he clearly was no ninja. I smiled as he shook my hand with a grin. Sakura was so excited for some reason.
"I'm Yuki, glad to meet you, Sakura's been trying to get me to meet you for a while. Every time I went to say hi you disappeared. I'm also Sakura's fiance." He repeatedly quickly.
I almost vomitted when he said fiance. I covered my mouth and took my hand back to grab my stomach. He looked at me worriedly and grabbed my shoulder. I looked at the arm and ran. Sakura reached out as she called my name. I had to get out of her sight to gain my well being. This was it, it proved I need her and that wasn't good. I've always been so independent, why was I suddenly in love. I wanted out of this desire filled trap, but I wanted her so much it was eating me alive.
"Kakashi!"
Yuki looked at sakura and patted her back.
"Are you coming, I'm going after him." She growled while trying to follow my pace.
Yuki stayed behind and waited. I kept going, but she just wouldn't go. I took a ally turn and went to a corner to barf. The mask was pulled down and waste spilled to the ground. I grabbed the wall and hoped she wouldn't find me. The small empty ally gave me just enough space to calm down. This was too much, I wanted her to fall in love, but now I don't know. Her very presence makes me fantasize and drool, how would I over come this. She took the corner and found me. Her face was horrid, like she had seen Sasuke's death all over again. I quickly threw the mask back on with the little confidence I had.
"Sakura whats wrong?"I asked between breathes.
She stepped slowly up to me and reached out to touch me. Her hand touched my spiked hair and a chill went down my spine. I wanted to remove it and tell her to stop I also wanted to grab the hand and never let go, but how could I do that. Her scared little frown started to form into a sad smile. Those emotions of hers made me sad to see I could never meet her emotional standards. After all the only emotions I had was sorrow, anger, and love, happiness hardly was ever used in my vocabulary. She was happy, embarrassed, scared, hopeful, energetic, so many emotions. The locked chamber of secrets in her heart were a low amount compared to my locked up mess.
"Are you okay?" She asked while tilting her head.
I straightened my back and smiled as much as I could possibly. But the word was coming back up, I covered my mouth. She jumped back as I pulled the mask down and nearly barfed on her shoes. This wasn't normal how could I be getting sick at the word like it was a disease. She didn't seem so happy with my disgusting sickness either.
"Wow, you sure your not sick?" She asked once again.
I grabbed my forehead and caught my breathe. She didn't see any of my face though, by the time I had spilled the sewage my face was clean and the mask was on.
"Sakura you should go, Yuki is probably." I stopped grabbing my mouth from the name. She looked at me and tried to read me, but like I said I was always so difficult to read. "Is waiting." I finished the sentence and wiped the mask from any mess.
After a couple breathes I hit the wall beside me as I tried to make myself angry so that I wouldn't be sick by the words.
"No, not tell I get you home or medical attention. He can wait, your more important." She whined so sweetly; making me want to hug her. But I was kinda gross at that moment. I was all alone in this and now I had to let go of the little connection I had left.
"I have somethi-"I was cut off.
"No your not going to fight me today, just do as I say." She said sternly while crossing her arms.
I was going to tell her the truth, but I guess I just have to suffer another day of this. She stepped over my waste and hugged me. I didn't hold her in return, I couldn't it meant to much to me. Just her smell seduced me and ran me into a wall.
"The old pervert with feelings how funny." She chuckled with the friendly worried hug.
If I were normal that's all it would be, but no I had to fall for the pink shenobi in my arms. I pushed her off slightly and grabbed her shoulders. Her kind words wouldn't help in a time like this.
"Sakura I'm fine really." I whispered.
I wasn't normally so useless and weak, I never messed up and never showed emotions. I didn't know love, but that's just normal, now its scary and uncharted territory. I tilted my head between us.
"No your not, your not telling me something." She said with a sad scared tone.
I wanted to tell her not to worry, I'm right here see I'm fine. Sadly it wasn't that simple, I wasn't right there I was in a land where I suffer from love and I wasn't fine. If I was fine I wouldn't be here ready to cry from distress.
"Sakura, please just go back to your... f-i-a-n-c-e."
I choked on the last word and begged for another emotion. She smacked me across the face and made me extremely surprised.
"You never listen, your hiding something, you know I hate it when you do that!" She shouted at me.
I want to be in a happier place where I fell for the right women and had a normal personality, so Sakura could be happy as well. I stepped back and looked at my hands, the realization of all this was sinking in. I was falling into the pit that I expected later, the pit of insanity. Sakura reached for my shoulder, but I backed away and she started to tear up, she knew too what was happening. I hit the back wall and slid down continuing to look at my hands and see my life flash before my eyes. Sakura fell to her knee's and crawled over to me. I didn't even notice she did so, I was losing it and sakura didn't like it either.
"What have I done." I whisper before silently smashing my hands against my face in horror. "The death, the blood, the horrible choices." I whispered letting a tear fall.
That was my last straw, I had lost that grip on life I loved so deeply. I gasped from the memories and all the people I had killed as a ninja. It never really sunk in tell now. My body started to tremble, this wasn't me, this wasn't Hatake Kakashi. No this was the love sick shameful Kakashi and I hated it.
"Kakashi no, don't go there, stay with me please." Begged the upset Sakura.
I glanced up once at her terrified face. I immediately looked away then, I couldn't take it. My hands moved up to the side's of my head.
"Sakura, I-I-I can't do it, its so horrible." I pleaded with scared eyes.
I was gaining another emotion a emotion I couldn't handle and it scared me. I was gaining regret, that was the only emotion I could live without. I thought I had the emotion when I left sakura, but I was wrong that was want this, this was true regret.
She sat beside me and cradled my head in her lap. She was trying to make it better, but this wasn't it, her presence would only torture me further.
I FELT LIKE GETTING DEPRESSING WITH THE WHOLE THING, IF YOU WANT ANOTHER CHAPTER REVIEW AND I WILL DO ANOTHER
