Tori's POV

I decided to get Beck and read to him the poem I wrote. So I went to His RV and I took my poem book with me. "Hey Tori" , Beck says with a huge smile on his face. "Just shut up, sit down, and listen"I say. OK I'm sitting down and listening", says Beck. I really want to get this of my chest. This is my poem book it's where I write down the shit that happens in my life.

When I chose to cut

I am now permanently stuck in a rut

Chose the path of self harm

By scarring my arm

But, one day cut too deep from my arm the blood will seep

Makes me feel in control

Fills my heart and soul

Feeling the pain, makes me who I am

But this leaves me in a jam

Both ashamed and embarrassed

Then with my parents

I honestly can not explain

A secret that will remain

Wish I could tell someone

My life to become undone

Can't tell anyone, they'll call me emo

All of that hemo*(Hemo means a lot of blood.)

It's all one big black-hole

Never feel complete or whole

Life's just full of hatred

Pureness seems so faded

Wishing for extinction

Seeing all the crimson

Put on the fake smile

Life is oh so very hostile

My life is an epic fail

One big tall tale

Life is one big downward spiral

Life a depressing trial

The people who say I love you, It's a joke to them

All they do is condemn

Wish I was a book, so easy to read

They can never truly know what I need

The feelings, the emotions, overpower me

The feeling uselessness, falling to my knees

Wish Could talk without being judged

All the black streaks of mascara, smudged

The pillow wet from tears as I fall asleep

The times when I breakdown and weep

To try and be strong all the time

Full of dirt and grime

My life's a turnstable

So unsteady, so unstable

Get shot down too many times to count

I wish life was just a stunt

So little and weak

I'm just an ugly streak

I mean nothing to this lousy world

Live alone and lonely in the underworld

Never means anything to anyone

The ugly monster I've become

Can't voice my opinion

Another mindless minion

Starving to be thin

Hating all the imperfections that are on my skin

A worthless, ugly self image

The ugly, stupid grimace

Why is it me who's falling apart

Word for word, tearing out my heart

Writing down my thoughts as if anybody's listening

The tears in my eyes, glistening

Wish I could be young, wild, and free

But it's just not meant to be

Bound to continue this crappy life

But I can never put down the knife

The stupid evil shadow

Sneaks up from behind, grasping me like an invisible lasso

The odds are all stacked

Not one to interact

Contrary to the fact

Not one giant suicide pact

Ugly, worthless, stupid, and mean those words are everywhere

Usually one to say whatever

These things go unnoticed by others

No support from my brother or mother

Can't tell anyone

Trusting no one

Life has shut it's doors

It doesn't want me anymore