So this is supposed to be song lyrics you could say. I don't know I just started writing and it turned out more like a song (lyrics in italics) I don't own Leverage

The pain you put me through

The apartment was cold and gray, no more traces of happiness in it. Wherever Nate walked it seemed to groan under the weight of guilt.

Bottles of liquor littered the floor

Ashes of burnt memories floated through the air

Crumpled up papers of letters that will go no where

The broken pieces of anything you left behind

Sophie had left him again. She had left him like she had 3 years ago. He really thought they had something real - really thought that they loved each other. The thoughts made him vomit as he realized she was and always would be a grifter. Never did she actually have real feelings for him or mean anything she said.

The pain you put me through

Is nothing compared to the anger I feel for you

Lost in my own mind

A perpetual cave of darkness in my heart

At least now I can't see your lies

Even though I'd take them over any truth

He was back to being as bad of an alcoholic as he was after Sam died. The alcohol only worked to destroy the pain just a little bit so Nate found himself turning to self-harm. Scars ran up and down his wrist, making a sickly looking shutter effect. His skin was far too pale, and his body far too skinny. The team tried to help him but he was past helping.

Watch me as I crumble at your feet

Not for bowing down to you

But my legs no longer can support me

For my body is slowly dying

See this evidence right here

It's the pain you've put me through

He was a wreck. Everyday he wished the Sophie he loved would come back and they would finally be back together again. But everyday he wished the evil Sophie would come back and he would make her pay for what she did. He didn't deserve any of the shit-ass treatment she gave him when she told him she was leaving. She just left. No explanation. No reason.

You left me with all your burning fury

And as I memorized how the door shut behind your body

My heart and my brain were slowly turning

They were turning into a blinding pain

And from that day I knew that I would make you pay

For the pain you'd put me through

He had attempted suicide at least 10 times but Eliot always kept pulling him back. One day the team even found him with a knife stabbed in him. He was close to his deathbed on that day and he was almost not thankful that they saved him. Eliot thought the mark had gone crazy but he had told him that he had done it to himself. After that he got a pretty stern talking to. It was annoying how the team thought they could help him. He didn't need help. He needed Soph.

Your lies caught up with you

They tore you up from the inside and crawled out your dead body

The ghost that remind from the truth

Left me to rot in your lies

And I knew then the love I felt for you

Was the only thing that was living anymore

Every night in his dreams the scene would play again. It would twist into a gory nightmare where her eyes were sunken black holes and he could see her heart beating in her chest. Blood would cover the walls as she left him to die in the unknown location. As always he'd memorize how she left him. How she shut the door in his face with all her might. This time he knew she wasn't going to come back no matter what he said. No matter what happened. Not even if he died.

Scratch me in the eyes

At least then I won't have to see your lies

I couldn't stand to be in love with you

If you want to save me you'll let me die

And if you don't then don't come back soon

So let me just say this one thing

I'm still suffering from the pain you put me through

They tracked her down after a year. After a year of liters of blood shed and gallons of tears cried they had found her. Half of him never wanted to see her face again and half wanted him to tell her how wrong her decision was. He would scream about his attempts at suicide and put his scars on display for her eyes. Maybe then she'd understand.

I'm running back to you

I'll make sure that I finish the deed this time

Blood on my wrists and on my skin

You'll see that this is what has happened

It was all from my love being torn away from me

And it's all your fault

Now this pain won't just be affecting me

He found her in a lost place. She was a lost girl now. Part of him wanted to point and laugh and throw rocks at her. He would degrade her down to his standards so she could feel how he felt. She deserved every ounce of hate that he had to offer. She deserved it because she walked out on them without a reason or a cause. It was all a mask - all a facade. Her eyes were drawn to him as his eyes were drawn to hers.

You're eyes told a different story

I thought that you were happy without me

Turns out you were just as lost

I wanted to reach out and tell you I love you

I wanted to say I no longer hated you

You're eyes were full of abuse

And now I don't know what to do

He was her anchor as much as she was his. Moments after he found her she latched onto him and started sobbing. He was shocked at first but he slowly hugged her back. The words that spilled from her mouth were incomprehensible but he wasn't sure if it was because to the crying or not. He was pretty sure that it was because he had him back.

The burning, raw hatred that's growing inside me

Is towards someone new

My body and mind are revolted at this

It's created a nightmare of abuse

It's like acid in my brain

Like dry hay gone up in flames

She never left his side anymore. Whenever she went somewhere by herself the team was always close by her. He made sure that she was as safe as humanly possible. The kidnapping had made her very skittish around a lot of people that weren't in the team. He wanted to make sure that nothing ever ever happened to her. If something did happened to her

Tears fell from her face as she spoke

The words spilled from her lips like poison

There were cuts and bruises and broken bones

It was damage

It was the secret

It was why you didn't come back soon

Now I wish I never felt this anger I felt for you

They were closer then ever now and Nate liked that. Sophie was slowly recovering from the incident and Nate was slowly getting healthier. She often had nightmares of it but Nate was always there to comfort her.

I didn't want to feel this pain

The pain you put me through