Hiya. Sabian with more stories. And I know I said that I would have something up for Finland's birthday. I'm a liar, I know.

Author: Sabian

Title: Crosshatch

Rating: G

Characters/Pairings: Austria, Prussia, Hungary, Maria Theresa, Old Fritz. Pairings are Fritz/Austria, Maria/Prussia

Warnings: Crack pairing, but aside from that, squeaky clean. Except for face bashing, but that's to be expected when Hungary and Prussia are in the same fic, isn't it?

Word Count: 683

Summary: If Rome can bargain with God to go and visit Feliciano, then who's to stop Fritz and Maria from doing the same?

Maria looks across the table to the man sitting there. He is aging, but that does nothing to deter from his imperious presence. She tucks a stray lock of blonde hair behind her ear. Her dress rustles as she does so, the only sound in the room aside from the ticking of the clock. She appraises him; he does the same to her. The dislike is nearly palpable in the air.

Finally, he cannot take it anymore. "What did you call me for, Maria?" He spits out her name like it is something disgusting, a foul taste upon his tongue.

"I called you here for nothing," she answers sharply. "I made no such invitation, and I have no idea what you are doing here." She narrows her eyes. "In fact, I have no idea why I am even letting you stay any longer. I should have asked you to leave a long time ago." But he knows why he is staying, and she knows why she is letting him stay.

Sunlight streams in through the extravagant windows. They are both still as statues, save for the rise and fall of their chests as they breathe. In fact, one could believe that this entire scene was from a museum, if not for the air of loathing and maybe a slight touch of hope around them. Fritz suddenly stands, his chair tipping over and landing on the carpeted floor with a loud thud. Maria blinks in surprise, but says nothing. She waits for him to explain himself.

"All right," he says. "Fine. We both know what we want, don't we?" He narrows his eyes. "Where is he?" Maria frowns.

"And may I remind you that this is my house," she says slowly. "And that I cannot control him. I have not seen him for the past week."

"And you are talking about your own country?" he laughs bitterly. "We both know that Gilbert will come soon enough when he learns that I am here. And what of Roderich? Nobody knows where he is. It always turns this way, doesn't it? You filthy Hapsburgs getting what you all want in the end, the rest of Europe being left in the shadows to rot."

"You do not insult my lineage," she says sharply. "Perhaps what you say is true, but you will not affront my ancestors and forefathers within this house."

They glare at each other with stony eyes. Fritz then opens his mouth, no doubt to make another scathing comment, but before the argument can escalate any further, it is interrupted. Not by any person, but by the sound of a violin (where he stops speaking, flabbergasted). Followed by, with a wince from both but a delighted smile on her face, a yelp and the clang of a frying pan meeting face.

And then, both of them walk out of the room, argument forgotten. " I guessed you were coming," Roderich says, nodding at them both. Austria glanced over at Elizaveta, and the white-haired Gilbert lying face-first on the floor. "When I heard this idiot here, two and two became four."

"How astute of you," Fritz murmurs. Roderich inclines his head.

"And perhaps it's time for him to come with me," Maria says to the female nation. "I have to talk to him about invading other people's houses and vital regions. A long talk." And despite her words, Roderich has to bite his lower lip to prevent any laughter or anything resembling a smile to form. "If you'll excuse me, Elizaveta."

With that, the empress drags Prussia out of the room, Hungary following discreetly. When they are alone (or maybe not, because who knows how many cameras Elizaveta has around the house?) Roderich turns to Frederick. He finally allows himself to smile.

"I'm glad," he begins softly as he steps closer to Fritz, "that you and Her Majesty could take some time to visit us." He no doubt speaks for both Gilbert and himself, if Hungary's giggles are anything to go by. Frtiz's lips twitch, and he just steps forward to close the gap between them.