watch?v=t6UwKIE2p-s&feature=player_detailpage
Sometimes its hard for me to excel at things... Anything really. I try to do everything, be everything everyone else wants me to be. Everything starts to blur and I can't tell the difference between what I want and what everyone else wants. I try to be myself but I'm never sure if its me or my parents, or my teachers, or my friends, or my coaches. I try to do everything and be good at everything I try or even hear about. I guess sometimes its good because I'm pretty good at a ton of things but its also bad because I can never go past "pretty good." How am I supposed to be amazing at acting when I have to practice basketball too? Or be a good baseball player when I have to study? I have a million different people telling me I have to good at a million different things! Half my time is spent in indecision, I can't decide what I should do. What needs the most work? Well, I have a B in english but my shooting average is a little low, I haven't memorised my lines yet but I need to clean the house, I need to practice all the songs for my performance but I'm babysitting. My friends want to hang out but I can't because I have too much to do! My dad always makes fun of me because he thinks I'm not being myself, but what he thinks is "me" is just his version of me. For the longest time I didn't realize that nobody else would completely transform and become someone else depending on where they were and who they were with, until I realized that I had not only a completely different attitude around one group of friends but I had an entirely different wardrobe! For some people I would dumb down my speech and some I used words that I barely knew the meaning of. `When certain people asked what my hobbies were I would say sports, or acting and singing, or horse riding, or hunting, or reading. I do all them them and enjoy them all, but it made me realize that I did those things because of those people. I don't know who I am... Who I want to be... I know I can't do everything, at one point I'll have to choose a life. I can't live them all. But who do I want to be? This is my journey.
