DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN VICTORIOUS. I do however, have Eliza Dushku bound and gagged in my closet.

AN: Yuu know when an idea pops in ur head n it won't let yuu think of anything else until you write it down? Well this is that idea festering itself. Ugly word, festering. Ugh! I wanted to write it all in one chapter but I broke it up into two parts instead. It's my twist on the episode Begging On Your Knees. Please please please tell me what you think. I'll give you virtual cookies. And strippers! :D Come on, you know you want a stripper…

You know those ditzy, optimistic people who look like they're walking on sunshine who smile at everything? The people who are too damn cheerful in the morning, the people who think you can fix everything with a song, the people who just irritate the crap out of you because it's not natural to be that uppity?

Tori was one of those people today. She was positively beaming as she strolled to the lockers with a little extra pep in her step and the cheesiest smile Jade had seen yet. Also the fakest smile ever. It didn't reach her eyes.

This ought to be good. Or bad. Really bad. Accident on the freeway bad.

Crossing her arms over her chest, she adopted her classic 'I'm indifferent or angry,' pose. Beck gave her a quick smile but it was loaded. He was practically begging her through a glance to behave.

She smirked. As if.

"Hey!" Tori greeted her friends, her voice cheerful and light as she set her arms around Robbie and Andre. A secretive look shot at her was easily rebuffed. Tori rolled her eyes quickly before pasting on the smile from before.

Jade hated it instantly.

Andre beamed at this best friend, picking up on her impossibly good mood. He was perceptive like that. And it was kind of hard to miss the cloud 9 look on her face. "Oooh someone's all happy about something."

Thank you Andre for stating the damn obvious! Jade frowned and not just to keep up her persona. He was supposed to be her best friend, yet he was buying her act at face value.

Then again, she did a hell of job selling it. If she didn't know her, really know her, she would have bought it too.

"Yeah, it's making me sick." She spat. It really was. Her little outburst got the desired reaction. A look of hurt flittered across her expression. But Tori was an actress, a very good one, and she quickly hid it.

"Um, is there a reason why girls don't want to go out with me?" Robbie suddenly asked.

The attention of the group shifted to the spectacled, curly haired ventriloquist. Tori made a face, "You mean a reason that stands out above all the other reasons?" She asked, truly curious to know his answer.

"Ha!" Robbie's mischievous puppet snorted.

"So why are you so happy?" He deflected, clearly not in a good mood.

Jade internally growled, Tori was like a damn Christmas tree all bright and.. Glow-y. It did not sit well with her. It rang false. Kind of like seeing the light at the end of a tunnel and thinking it was God when really it was the light of a damn train headed straight for you.

These type of things did not escape her notice. Neither did the fact that the brunette caught her eyes, a silent message passing between them before she smiled at Robbie.

"Cus Ryder Daniels asked me out!"

And there it was.

Wait!… What?

"Oh, he's hot." Rex commented, much to Robbie's (and Jade's) dismay. And once again the attention went Robbie's puppet. "Stare all you want," he challenged upon receiving their curious looks, "I'm secure." That puppet spoke his mind.

Unfortunately so did Jade.

Three…two…one…

"I don't like that guy." She said bluntly, aware of how bitter that sounded. She didn't mean for it to come out that way but it did.

She might as well have lit a firework under Tori's shapely ass.

"You just hate the idea of anything good happening to me!" She snapped, starting down the hall.

That wasn't it. She couldn't have been more wrong if she tried. To their friends it might seem like she was being typical Jade. But she knew Tori knew that wasn't the case. The urge to reach out and stop her leaving almost made her cave.

"You know that could not be more true." She retorted in true Jade fashion. She spun around, ready to watch the brunette go. Instead Tori pushed herself against the lockers looking very put off. She was even pouting. Jade rolled her eyes. Oddly enough, none of their friends had stepped in to stop her verbal beating and figured it was time to tone it down a notch. There was such a thing as overdoing her persona. "I'm just saying any dude that hot and that perfect has to be hiding something."

God she wanted to rip her tongue off and burn it in a furnace. Her words must have sounded right though because the others seemed to agree with her. If only Tori did, too.

"So I guess you think Beck's hiding something," Andre probed.

Jade flinched. Beck was hot, and he was perfect. But she couldn't care less if he was hiding something. After all, weren't they all hiding something? Instead of sharing her thoughts, she decided playing along with it would entail the least problems.

"He was!" Beck's brows dipped. The gears were churning in his pretty little head. "Until I found out."

"Wh-what was I hiding?" He asked, coming up with nothing after a quick brain check. Nada. Zilch. He smiled sweetly to lessen the blow- she had nothing on him and they both knew it.

Of course, never one to be outdone (and seriously seeing that down trodden look on Tori's face was making her feel guilty!) she said what ever came to her.

"That you're secretly gay!"

Beck wasn't gay. But the short few seconds she had of a head start really helped. Stomping off in the opposite direction, she caught Tori's eyes mouthing silently to her before disappearing.

True to his puppy like nature, Beck followed soon after leaving Tori to deal with a sexually frustrated Robbie.

"So this Ryder guy…"

I

Tori paced back and forth inside the janitor's closet, her eyes on her phone every other second. She checked the time again and groaned, it had only been fifteen seconds since she last checked.

Desperate much? Maybe. But they would have to pull her fingernails off one by one to get her to admit to it.

In the midst of her tantrum she failed to notice the door creaking open until with a loud bang it slammed shut. Tori shrieked, her hands gesturing wildly while she leapt back. Her back crashed into the broom which sent it careening down.

Right on her head.

For all her troubles (and a mini stroke she was sure of it!) she found a very amused looking Jade leaning against said door.

"Jade!"

"Yep, that's me." The brunette retorted, flashing a small but genuine smile to show she meant it in fun. "Did you miss me?"

Her heart still pounding, Tori closed the gap between them. Slinking her arms around her neck, her eyes lingered on Jade's plump lips and her tongue unconsciously darted out to taste her own.

"You know I did baby."

Jade sighed, taking the initiative. Her hands slipped onto her waist pulling her flush against her body. It felt like laying out in the summer sun, her entire body affected by the heat. Their lips touched, then teased, then pulled away, and did it all over again. She moaned softly, Tori's tongue sweeping over her lips. Her grip tightened, a warm sensation in her chest.

Tori gasped, her lips insistent. Kissing Jade was like a full frontal attack on all five of her senses. She tasted like cinnamon, sweet but spicy at the same time, her scent intoxicated her, a mixture of sunshine and peppermint. Firm muscles rippling under her touch intrigued her, but the softness of her skin spoke volumes of her femininity. The breathless, whimpered call of her name brought her blood to a boil, and finally, as she opened her eyes and gazed into Jade's emeralds, dreamy, dilated, and filled with desire… well…

A slow smile spread across her kiss assaulted lips. Jade whined as she broke the contact but settled for intertwining their fingers together. She allowed herself to bask in the after glow of their small make out for a few minutes.

"What are you doing this weekend?" Tori asked, her tone light and airy. "Maybe we can catch a movie or something?"

Jade knitted her brows together. "Beck wants to go out."

"Oh." She tried not to seem too disappointed. Slipping her hand free of Jade's she began fixing her hair, adjusting her clothes.

"Are you leaving?"

Damn it! Where was her damn purse? So much for a quick non-dramatic exit. "Yep."

"Why?"

That did it. She whirled. Jade honestly looked confused. "Tell me you're kidding?"

A shrug. "We just got here. Why do you want to leave so soon?" She pushed herself off of the wall. What with their being in the janitors closet and all, one small step is all it took to put her face to face with a less than happy Tori. "Tori-"

"Jade, don't. Just please stop this right now."

"Stop what?"

"Stop touching me."

"You're being ridiculous!" She shouted, throwing her hands in the air. "What's your malfunction?"

"My malfunction," she growled, "is being your dirty little secret."

The instant it left her lips, Tori regretted her words. Jade gawked at her with hurt eyes. She knew the situation, knew it was because of her that they were doing this in the first place. Jade didn't want to do this, but of course she'd convinced her. If anyone should be pissed it should be her.

"Do you really think so little of me?" Sure, she was angry- being wrongly accused did that to a girl. One little glance at the brunette, however, made every feeling that wasn't mushy, warm, lust-y, and generally fluffy impossible to hold on to. She knew she sounded weak, and so unlike herself but it really didn't matter. Perks of being with Tori included but were not limited to; shedding her mask, being real, not being judged, not having to meet any expectations.

Tori mentally slapped herself. This wasn't turning out the way she'd wanted it to. "You know that's not it."

"Then what's the problem, Tori?" She pleaded.

"I want you to break up with Beck."

I

Jade was nervous, and Jade West did NOT get nervous. Angry, frustrated, irritated, annoyed, bored, hungry, horny, violent, creative, thoughtful, hell, even happy. But she did not get nervous. Yet here she was, wringing a handful of her leather jacket, burning a hole in the linoleum as she paced around the small, detergent smelling, suffocating janitor's closet waiting for- for what exactly? What did she hope to accomplish today?

The door flung open revealing none other than the woman herself.

"Tori…"

"You said it was important."

So she wasn't going to play nice? Fine! Jade could do mean. "If you'll give me a fucking minute I'll tell you." She snapped, setting her hands on her hips.

Tori mirrored her posture. "Fine. What?"

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! Okay, so she wasn't expecting this to be easy- not after their verbal smack down at the lockers- but she could already see Tori was going to make this absolutely painful for her.

Maybe she deserved it. She wasn't exactly nice this morning either.

'You have to try, Jade.'

"I meant what I said this morning."

"You mean the part about you hating anything good happening to me?"

Fuck…

'Breathe, Jade, breathe.'

"No, Tory," she ground out between clenched teeth. Who ever said this would be easy right? "I meant Ryder Daniels."

"Oh, right," Tori said, too loud, too fake, "you don't like a guy you haven't even met. Well," she scratched her head, "uh, gee, Jade, you're not the easiest girl to impress."

Tori gasped, she didn't even see her move. Now Jade had her by the wrists, breathing heavily with dark eyes and a hard frown carved into her features. "He's bad news!"

"You're just saying that because you don't want me to go out with him. News flash, you're not the only one who gets to have a life!"

"I'm trying to protect you, Tori, why are you being so difficult?"

Soft lips claimed her own, stunning her. Tori kissed her insistently, passionately, and just as wholeheartedly as before. Her own lips were just forming a response when she left her puckering at the air.

"Break up with Beck."

It was soft, pleading, a whimper. She was begging her, BEGGING her- a beautiful, talented, sweet, loving, funny, charming, one of a kind girl- begging for her to say two little words.

It's over. That's all she had to say. But to who?

To Beck?

Or to Tori?

"Tori," her voice sounded strained, choked, "I-I-"

"Yeah, Jade," her expression hardened, "you want to protect me from everyone else save for from the one person I truly need protecting from. Just.. Leave me alone, okay?" Again she caught her wrist, effectively keeping her in place.

"I'll leave you alone," Jade conceded, "if you promise me you won't go out with Ryder Daniels."

Tori looked at her, her eyes devoid of any emotion. She concluded it was a look she did not wear well. "Ryder's coming to my house tonight."

"Tor-"

"I didn't think you'd give up so easily."

Such sweet parting words. Too bad they cut through Jade like a steak knife through tender, falling off the bone- yeah okay. Weird analogy. Thinking of clever comparisons- not on the top of her priority list.

Ryder Daniels. Dark hair, dark eyes, smooth voice, talented, total babe. The guy couldn't be more perfect. Except he wasn't. Ryder Daniels had a reputation like a cobra- BAD! Mostly it was true. He liked using girls to get things done then ditched them when he was through. He'd done it a million times to a million girls. Why would she chose Ryder Daniels of all people? Why couldn't she chose Andre or Robbie or even Rex?

She realized Tori did this an attempt to move on from her, and really, she couldn't blame her for that. But this guy had trouble stamped on his forehead, and Tori was too upset with her to realize she was only looking out for her.

"I never give up." She whispered to the empty closet. Her body still tingled from that kiss, serving to remind her of how kissing Beck would never even come close to being half as exhilarating as kissing Tori Vega.

Sometimes she lay in bed thinking about it. Beck's kisses were okay. For a guy. But Tori's kisses hit her like a recreational drug, doing crazy things to her body and mind. The second they stopped she craved another fix even before she came completely down, never wanting to lose this amazing feeling that kept her warm. Alive.

But sometimes, every now and then her guilt would override those feelings, making her wish she could just forget about her and be content with Beck. Things with Beck were easy, simple, and routine. Tori was like a tornado, complex wild and dangerous.

It's what made her so damn appealing.

"And those jeans." Jade whistled, the corners of her lips turning. She made leaving look good.


"It's official, my life sucks." The sound of munching and crunching in her ear insisted. She pulled a face. "Why are you eating cheetos so close to my ear?"

Trina shrugged, happily munching while she touched her head to her knees. Upon seeing her sister's curious look she smiled. "I have to stretch these new jeans out."

"You know I sleep here, right?"

"Sorry my butt's gotta breathe." She said as if it were obvious. She tossed back another handful of cheetos, "Anyway, why does your life suck? You know, other than having to live in my shadow? I thought you had a hot date tonight?"

Tori leapt off of her bed and strolled to her large vanity mirror, checking her makeup, hair, and outfit once more. She looked hot. She smiled wistfully- that made her feel a tiny bit better. "I do. With Ryder Daniels."

Trina scrunched her face, adopting a new pose on the bed. "Be careful."

"Why?" She inquired, watching her sister make a fool of herself through the mirror. Times like these she wondered if they were really related.

"He's been with a lot of girls. You know my friend Lindsey?"

"Lindsey.. Girl who hates you, Lindsey?"

Trina blanched, then looked rightly offended. "So? I know her."

"Ahh."

"Anyways, she went out with Ryder last year and he totally broke her heart."

Tori paused, her reflection painted a happy image but her eyes, if she looked closely were swirling dark pools of emotions. Excited, sad, apprehensive, defeated. "He broke up with her?"

"With no warning," Trina continued animatedly, "like, BOOM! Over!"

…"Well, maybe he had a good reason," she said dismissively, applying an extra layer of mascara. Tonight was all about her and Ryder. She had to look good to feel good and she knew Ryder was the type of guy to make her feel great. "Now get lost, I want the house to ourselves."

Trina gazed at her seriously. "I'm assuming Jade knows about this."

Tori ignored her for a few minutes, touching up her eyeliner with a deliberate slowness that made her teeth grind. Or was that due to the fact that her sister called her out? "Jade has Beck, and now I have Ryder."

Trina fingered a curl, something she did only when she was feeling nervous or uncomfortable. "Ryder has expectations."

"Good." Her sister huffed, mostly ignoring her.

She sighed. "Don't do anything stupid, Tori." With that, she left the room, planning to go out for a night on the town. She definitely didn't want to be home when Tori met Ryder's expectations. She knew her sister well, and knew she was feeling insecure and very upset meaning she would probably do something stupid tonight.

Grabbing her keys and her phone she headed out the door quickly- if she even made eye contact with this Ryder guy there would be trouble. She understood Tori was trying to move on, but this wasn't the way to do it. Not with a guy like him.

Her fingers flew over the keyboard, searching through two hundred names before it highlighted Jade's number and she clicked send.

'? happened w/u n baby sis?'

She made it all the way down to her car before her phone went off in her pocket. Relieved, she felt relieved the spunky teen answered her for once.

'None of ur biz'

Trina groaned. Why couldn't her sister fall for someone with a little less attitude?

'It's my business if my sister's in the house alone with some sleaze bag of a guy. She's really upset, and she's not thinking. Ryder isn't a good guy.'

It took even less time for the girl to reply. Trina jumped into the car and stuck the key in the ignition.

'I tried to warn her. She wouldn't listen.'

'? r u doing rite now?'

'y'

'We have 2 talk. Pick u up?'

'yea'

'b there in ten.'

Trina tossed her phone onto the passenger seat and started the car. Whatever went down between her sister and her lover must have been pretty intense if she got Jade to agree to meet her that easily. She couldn't possibly imagine what happened to push her to such drastic measures but she knew whatever it was, it had to be fixed.

While she didn't quite like Jade, she knew the brunette cared for her sister deeply. Sure, she had some serious attitude problems, and more often than not she was a bit on the bitchy side, but she quickly learned that it was all an act.

Around her sister Jade was calm, easy going, dare she say, even pleasant to have around. She was hoping to appeal to this side of Jade tonight, to the girl who called every night to wish Tori a good night, the girl that brought her coffee in the mornings before heading to school.

It was a long shot, but it was worth it.


Tori had a past. Didn't they all? But hers was a bit darker than most. Or so she believed. Maybe it wasn't, maybe it was. It started after her second boyfriend, a guy named Mark, told her she was beautiful. She felt like a million bucks. Every time they kissed, every time he touched her he called her beautiful. One night… well she trusted him with her most precious gift. And he took it.

The next day he broke up with her.

She felt like crap for weeks, felt like the lowest of the low, like dirt, like she was nothing. Her friends noticed, but they didn't say anything to make her feel better. Her parents noticed, but they rushed her and scared her away. Trina noticed, and she was the only one who knew.

It must be seriously psychologically warped crap but from then on she could only ever lift her self up when guys called her beautiful. And when a guy said that to her, it meant he wanted one thing from her and one thing only. Yeah it was strange, yeah it was fucked up. She was fucked up.

A vicious cycle, Trina called it, self loathing at its worst. Trina tried to help her, she really did. But she couldn't even help herself.

Then Jade called her beautiful.

She'd tensed up, thinking the angry brunette wanted what everyone else wanted. Instead she'd held her face gently with one hand, the other pulling her close, and she kissed her then she said goodnight and left.

Jade called her beautiful and for once Tori felt like someone truly meant it when they said it.

I

"You're beautiful, you know that?" Ryder stretched, the blanket sliding down his muscled body. The curtains were open, allowing a steady stream of moonlight to filter in and bathe him. His creamy skin glowed, giving him a surreal, dreamlike quality as he laid there, arms crossed behind his head, a tired smirk on his thin lips. His foot bobbed to some melody in his head.

Tori cocooned herself in a blanket and studied him from the other side of the bed. Ryder was amazingly good looking, very talented, smart, and over all good boyfriend material. A crease formed between her brow, so why did she feel so dirty right now?

'Probably because it was only your first date,' her conscious answered. She rolled her eyes.

'Yeah, well, where were you when I needed you?' She snapped back. A sure sign of insanity was having a conversation with oneself. But damn it if the little voice in her head didn't infuriate her to astronomical proportions!

Too bad the voice was right. She hid her face behind a pillow, not bothering to peek out when the bed shifted beneath her.

"I had an awesome time," Ryder grunted, hopping into his dark jeans. He milled about the room searching for his shirt and shoes. "We should do it again. The date I mean… the other stuff too." Did he think he sounded funny? She wasn't laughing.

"Okay." She said simply.

"Cool. Later."

She waited until the door clicked shut before throwing the covers off of herself. She practically ran into the adjoining restroom and slammed the door shut breathing hard. Her reflection stared back at her; naked, exposed. Her hair was messy and tousled, her skin red in different areas where he'd manhandled her with his paws. Why couldn't guys be gentle?

Leaning over the tub she quickly adjusted the water and took one final glance at herself. She swore her own eyes were cruelly judging her.

'It's all in your head,' she told herself.

The warm spray of water down her back instantly relaxed some of her muscles. She closed her eyes, reveling in the feel of the warm water as it washed away Ryder's scent. Not that he smelled bad! He actually smelled very good, but the thought of his scent lingering on her skin made her sick to her stomach.

A slow, steady panic filled her chest… shit…

Reaching over her shoulder to lather herself, she cringed as the muscles in her back throbbed in time with her legs. A blinding rage filled her, something so unlike herself. She whirled to get out of the tub, slipped, and ended up sprawled on her back, the water jetting across her face.

The rage bubbled in her throat. "Fuck," she sobbed, covering her face with red hands.

There was no one there, no one to watch her break. Her mask didn't mean a thing because she couldn't hide the truth from herself; her acting wasn't worth a damn because there was no one here to believe her. She cried, her tears mixing with the water until she couldn't tell them apart any longer.

Why did it always hurt when it wasn't Jade?


Bonus Scene ^^

Robbie Shapiro was one bad mofo and he knew it! Everyone knew it! He could do anything he wanted, get anything he wanted. Boys trembled at his presence, the ladies swooned as he slicked back his dark straight hair from his eyes. He was good looking, had great hair, smelled amazing, and his intelligence was unmatched- what wasn't to like?

He flashed his charming, knee weaking smile to the pretty girl in front of him. "Do you want to go out Friday night?" Yes, yes he knew it might take her a moment to answer his question what with her heart racing and her pressure rising. He flicked some lint off of his shoulder and adjusted the collar of his leather jacket.

"I would, but I really rather stay home and do nothing."

Robbie watched as she practically ran away from him, his world shattering into a million pieces from which reflected all the pain in-

"You wish the above paragraph was true," Rex bellowed, interupting his emo moment.

Damn puppet.